HOW IT ENDED.

I was awake, thinking about going to bed, when the shot that ended LuckyLucy’s run rang out.  It was a bit after midnight and I had just finished writing my toast at Capazzo and Charlie’s wedding and was preparing to move the thread to the streets for the happy couple.  Then I see this thing… it says, “Personal Message” … and I was like, “What the hell is a personal message – never saw those before.”
 

I’m sorry love <3

Then I got the message which said I was being fitted for cement shoes and could generate a new character by clicking the following link. 

My heart thundering in my ears, I raced to my purse and I grabbed my phone.  I began sending messages trying to warn people, but it was too late.  Most people were already gone before I made it out of the room to find my purse.

I had 33 people in my crew.  Many are new here and so this is, in part, why I’m writing today.  To continue my work as a teacher here in the community – because that’s part of what I enjoy… watching & helping other folks grow. 

Some in my crew were older players, but had new characters due to recent crew wipes and so they were a bit shell shocked at the realization that someone was gunning down a group of new folks dedicated to community betterment.  WHY was this happening?  They were at a loss. 

I was bombarded with messages the likes of which I’d written several times in my own 154 days in play; only this time I found myself as the person folks were looking to for answers:  What’s happening?  Who’s shooting?  Why are they doing this?  Did we mess up?  What do we do now?

I looked at the personal message again.
 

I’m sorry love <3

The internet leaves you to guess at people’s intentions.  I didn’t know if this was snarky, or false sympathy… but something about it stuck with me.  This person thinks I’ll know them.  Why else apologize?  They know I’ll figure out who was behind it.  They know I’ll know that they had pulled the trigger… or maybe, they did feel bad.  But why?  If you didn’t want to shoot… why do it? 

I was going through the motions every player does when they see the news they’ve lost their character.  Then I looked to my phone.  I did know who shot me.  I fell back in my chair as realization dawned.  The message was one of genuine regret.  Remy didn’t want to kill LuckyLucy, but I had told him to do so.  This was my doing.  My people (Ivory Tower Crew) were dying because after the destruction of Detroit, and after relentless hassling from one particular player about how Lucy should have died in Philly with her crew; I felt the need to stand up and show I was a trustworthy and loyal player. 

I wanted it clear and unquestionable where I stood so there would be no doubt among my friends.  That, regardless of any foolish mistakes Varys might make or what our city got itself into … everyone would know that I stood with Chicago.  Ride or Die.  If anyone came to us looking for a war, they would have to go through me.

I sent that letter to CletusKasady in character even though we’d never said two words to each other before.  I also forwarded it to many of my friends.  Even after Varys’ death, I never thought for even a moment about retracting it.  I stood where I stood… between any force that was feeling froggy & the people of Chicago.

So, to answer the question ‘why did we wipe’ … to the crew of The Ivory Tower:  it was because of me.  You lost your characters because I took a stand and while I’m sorry that some of you might have felt fear, sorrow, or just frustration at having to start robbing graves all over again (LOL) – I remain proud of my choice.  This is who Lucy was and it is who I am as a player. 

At that point, I had two choices; I could get salty and start trying to figure out why we were shot down and who (if anyone) ‘betrayed’ us… or I could acknowledge that I didn’t see the attack coming, I hadn’t hustled hard enough and, so I was out played.  I also had to admit that Lucy went out of this world exactly as I hoped she would – in a blaze of glory surrounded by people she would happily have died for.

Did I have some sadness?  Yes, but not for the reasons you might think.  I hated thinking about how not working my political connections better had condemned my crew of the most amazing people; a group who was just starting to gel with each other, and our mission.  And, I was sad because of how many others (not in my group) had come to me with confusion, frustration, sadness, and out right rage over this in-game event.

Some folks could not get past the fact that people they had known for years and years had lied to them or omitted information which allowed for their characters to be destroyed.  And if you think about that, it’s a pretty valid thing.  If you’ve ever cried over a character in a two-hour long movie… one you didn’t work on or invest yourself into… why the hell is it shocking to think that players who spend weeks and months on a character (sometimes imagining their hopes, dreams and fears – sharing that with the world) MOURN the loss for that time/effort/creation?

So, I stayed up.  One-hour lead to two.  Two to three until 36 hours had passed and I finally put my head down to rest.  Still regretting I hadn’t found a way to make my friends realize that the death of their characters was not THE END – that this game is played by players not characters and that the relationships between the players is far more important and full of joy, than anything we do as our characters.

People would leave MR, maybe for good, and that was the reason I went to sleep with puffy eyes from tears… that and all the beautiful things people were telling me and about what I had done for the community and as a first-time player. 

But had I accomplished my goal which I had set?  Had there been enough time?  I wouldn’t know today.  I wouldn’t know for sure for a while, but early results show that maybe – just maybe, I did.

THE IVORY TOWER RISES

154 Days
49 Threads
439 Posts
Well over 100,000 words written
Three Cities
Eight Crews
Brief Stint as LHM
RHM to GFC until his passing
Crew Leader for 23 Days

How much did I change in that time?  Well... forty days in, I wrote:  https://mafiareturns.com/comm/thread/1016228#161363410

On November 26^th, in the early hours of the morning, my husband woke me with the words: “I don’t know if you care honey but… Varys is dead and you’ve been shot.”  I jumped up out of my bed, still in jammies and sat down at my computer for a stretch of 40 hours.  During that 40 hours I lost my crew, my Godfather, and took the position of Don.

Now – full disclosure here – I didn’t want to be a CL.  I had avoided it very well up to that point (thank you VERY much) because I knew how much work it was and how utterly thankless it seemed.  I was (am) looking for RL employment and worried that when I got a job my online activities would slow, and I’d become a poor excuse for a CL.  I didn’t want that, so I was happy staying as a hand. 

But there I was, with a crew, and all the powers that be saying – if you want it... so, I figured, what the heck!  I knew I had lead gaming groups/guilds before both in real life and online communities.  It wasn’t that I didn’t think I could manage the politics and such; so, I stopped dodging and put on my thinking cap. 

“WHAT was my crew going to be about?”

I had named it “The Ivory Tower” for two reasons.  I needed a name and at the time I was so exhausted my brain kept going to the two fandoms I’d been a leader in... The Camarilla (White Wolf Publishing’s fan club) and The Wheel of Time.  Both had a white tower in them.  “The Ivory Tower” was a nickname for The Camarilla (a political organization for vampires) and “The White Tower” was the home of the very political/meddling would-be peacekeepers and magical saviors of the world: The Aes Sedai.

So... that’s where the name came from, but what the hell was I going to *DO.*  See, with Geordie’s deeds fresh in my mind and a small amount of admiration for not only him but the staying power of groups like POLHF – I sure as hell didn’t want to just build another home for people to stash their characters into while they grind out levels and work towards having a crew of their own (which also would most likely have no purpose larger than themselves.)

I wanted a crew which had a MISSION... because Missions and Ideals inspire people.  They make people rise to their very best selves and people FIGHT to the death for noble ideals and I wanted to make something people would die fight and die for.  But what?

“Lucy if we had 10 of you...” 

What if they did have even 10 active players who were focused on educating people, building community, encouraging role play... these were the things I wanted to most here in the game.  To, despite playing a game where we kill each other, have a place that we could all be proud of with fun shit happening; where folks encouraged, supported, and laughed with each other even as people killed them.

I had seen that with my CL in Philly.  She taught me how to die classy.  She also taught me quite a bit about how to make a group fun.  So, what if I took the best of what I’d been learning at MR, combined it with the best of what I saw in other online groups and then taught other players how to spread that?  In a group of 40 (then crew size max) it was realistic to think I could get a quarter to be actively supporting a goal... right?

But that rogue shit, now that stuck with me – I found myself asking: “Why should THEY be the only people whose mission kept going beyond the death of their characters?  They’re not invested in this place at all... they come in and kill folks for laughs, and when they lose a character, they don’t care, they just make another to do it all over.  WHAT IF the people who cared about the community did the same?”

And then it was born.  The social experiment that I could not know would work until we all died... so I was building this crew with the idea that I wouldn’t know if it COULD be done until it failed.  Yea, fucked up shit, but stay with me here.

If the crew wiped and everyone got online and said: “What now?  Where do we go?  How do we keep this thing going?”  Then I would KNOW that it could be done, but I’d have no idea until that moment.  And let’s face it, when people die they get salty – and heartbroken.  ESPECIALLY if they loved and believed in what they were doing... so it was a dangerous gamble.  But it was one I had to take.

I spent several days writing the first draft of our crew document.  Two weeks establishing a crew structure and getting people pushed up into it and less than a week with our people operating in it before we were struck down.

To say I was scared that this was WAY too short of a time for us to have established the goals of The Tower in the hearts of my people, is an UNDERSTATEMENT.  However, as I see #TheTowerStillStands appearing in people’s profiles, suits, posts and your mob mails of support and promises that it DOESN’T end with the crew... I begin to have hope that maybe it worked.  Maybe there are enough people who were intrigued by the concept that truly The Tower Still Stands.

The Tower Still Stands

And that brings us to now.  Since starting to write this, hours ago, the world went to war again and now a lot more people are starting over just like I did about 41 hours ago.  And it’s here I come to the point of this letter... what now?

Please feel free to visit:  https://sites.google.com/site/mafiareturnsivorytower/home

If you haven’t seen it before now it’s the site I created to house our crew information and begin collecting articles on game play, how-tos, editorials, and so much more but it had only gotten started when we all died.  Now I’m slowly converting it to include the idea that we can continue our mission even if our members are scattered across the six cities.
 

HOW?

First and foremost, I’m asking our members and those who want to stand with us, to uphold the guidelines which the crew put down.  Basic codes of behavior which encourage CATS (you may also have seen this around the site in the last few days) CATS stands for Community Above The Stats.

Does that mean we don’t level and try to get as far as we can?  No.  We do that, but we also realize that our choices in the community - how we interact with others – does influence the community. 

In short – don’t’ be a dick.  Believe it or not you can die without having a meltdown.  You CAN shoot someone without be an asshole.  You can play this game and be friends with the people who double crossed and lied to you even.

I also want to continue trying to do stuff for the community.  Mentoring new players, providing information to the community such as how-tos and classes, RP planning, chat events, community contests seasonally – and more!  Anything that brings people together and helps them get to know each other as players and not just as the characters they play who are constantly trying to betray and murder each other!
 

CAN YOU HELP?

Yes.  There’s no contact, no bottom line to sign on... it happens when you just decide to do it.  Be better.  Hate how things are... do different.  Don’t wait for people to change it.  Don’t go off the rails and burn the place to the ground when shit goes wrong.  Stay classy.  Stay supportive.  Stay active and give more than you take from the community. 

We will be utilizing the website shortly to help us coordinate for seasonal events – all our work and discussions will be done above board so anyone can pop by and see what we got in the world for the future!  And a lot will be done in the OoC and Outside boards so that it’s right here where even people who support us (but don’t want to do what we do) can see and cheer us on.
 

WILL YOU BE A CREW AGAIN?

Ironically – despite my reservations about being a CL, yes that is my plan.  I hope to level this new character and make a mad dash for CL if the GFs are willing to allow it and my CL is supportive.  BUT ... if not me... then I hope another will rise up and raise the banner again.

My hope is: just like you see rogues like POLHF, F4F, Silk Glove and other rumored organizations operating ... Ivory Tower will keep showing back up too.  Only, you’ll see us.  You’ll know us.  And hopefully you (the MR community) will be happy we’re around.

SO LONG AND THANKS FOR ALL THE FISH

So that’s it.  The end of Lucky Lucy and since many of you were here with me since day one ... following my views of the game, player growth, etc... I felt you deserved to see how it ended from my POV and what I've learned... but also what I want to do next.  Lucy's story was lovely and tragic and fantastic.  But I always knew (from day one) it would eventually end and the ending was never mine to write.  Here at MR, it never is.

Frankie is born to the world and who knows what the future holds for her, but I wanted so once again say a very big THANK YOU to everyone who has said kind words to me in chat, via mob mail, and on Lucky Lucy’s funeral thread.  That my first run as a character here has meant so much to so many is better than any other thrill this game could offer.  I hope I and this project, proves worthy of your amazing outpouring of affection and support.

-DeAnna
That person who writes for Lucy and now Frankie.

PS:  Messina RP Family (a Sicilian bloodline) is what I'm working on next for RP.  I'll be posting to that rp planning thread tonight before bed so if you're looking for something to do in RP with your new character... come play with us (there's already a few of us working on it.)  No experience necessary.  ;)

I know my mother was proud be in this Family and I would be honor to be in any of her future Crew 

I'll be sure to keep you on the Guardians contact list!  ♥

Keep up the good work and good vibes. If I get my ass active again (after the Christmas/NYE rush at work) and the writing bug takes I'll be sure to look you guys up.

- Scarfo/LouisDelRossi

*hugs Louis*

Looking forward to writing with you!  

*has no doubt the bug will bite*

lol

Frankie-Messina / DeAnna, you continue to blow me away. I absolutely appreciate your transparency. I hope it gives a reminder to others in the community that there are people on the other side of these characters. People with lives, feelings, and insecurities just like our own selves sit behind a character, a key board, a screen, a phone. It is sometimes far to easy to forget. Thank you for your goals, your knowledge, your efforts, your support and all the other things you bring to this community. 

KatyPerry - and thank you for the very warm welcome to New York.  I look forward to RP with you!  I hear you're a beast.  lol.