..McDiggerson will catch the son of a bitch who keeps pickpocketing him. Enjoy your free money now, friend. 

The professor looks at the misguided gangster and feels the need to correct him.

Oh no good sir. they are not trying to take your money off of you, they are checking for midget ninja assassins. My mother told me how a lovely lady from Chicago use to always make sure her pockets were safe from those tiny terrors.

The professor sees that many people are staring at him.

Trust me, Im a professor. 

"So true.  The threat of midget ninja assassins can not be understated in our society today.  Why just the other day I found one of those little buggers in my back pocket trying to take my last sawbuck!"  She shakes her head.  "The only real solution to their threat is vigilance.  So I'm with the professor on this one."

Cherry rolled her eyes and walked over to McDiggerson.

Eventually people get seen and when they do you can supply them with a beating. They will probably deserve it anyhow for sticky fingers.