i want to help out in crimes so send me a request ill help

AnitaMandalay was sauntering down the streets, trying to mind her own business, when she heard a young man speak from the corner as loud as he could.  Raising her eyebrows she knew this young man was not keen to their world and couldn't resist walking up to him.

Crimes? Young man,  I do not know of what you speak.  These people know nothing of crimes.  What do you think this is? The mafia? Sheesh.

I could really use a lot of help, Mr. Perv, sir.  If you wouldn't mind doing petty crimes as often as you can, and transferring that money to me immediately, that would be a huge help.  Thanks so much for the offer.

Sir....and remember the sooner you rank the better chance Mr.Sly will have to help you with your problem.

Ahh, yes, because, really, I could really use a hand with felony crimes as well.  Once you get a little more experience, you can start doing felony crimes and sending that money to me.  If you still want to help, that is.  Because that would really be an awful great help.

The responses are amusing though are not tackling the problem

I think we have a serious outbreak here, over the last few weeks I've seen normal mortal men and woman degrade to such spouting.

Hands out masks, needles and bodybags.

Please assist, if you see any of our people affected,please cover,assist, jab,assist, bodybag.....dump

This is the kind of thing I think you want to discuss with your crew members, not out here publicly, in the streets.

To be honest, in case you didn't notice already, some established mobsters will make fun of you for this.