Issue One.

Hello all and welcome to the first edition of Priscilla Press. I don't know about you all but I was not to impressed by my now rival newspaper "Mob News".

A nice attempt, but, c'mon now...we need a little more than that. So here is where I come into the picture. Ms. Priscilla. A woman who is not afraid to speak her mind. So, let the Paper begin! WARNING: SHE HAS A POTTY MOUTH!

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Enough Already? Ok.

I'm sure all of you by now have heard about the big arguement in the streets a few days ago of someone accusing Roman of bloodline hunting. Blah Blah Blah. Since then EVERYONE and I mean EVERYONE has put in their 2 cents on it. Most people with an IQ higher than an 2 year old noticed that it was not the case. Some bitter son comes into the streets bitching over the past. Since he finally shut up, the streets have now gone back to it's usually quiet state of being, or so I thought. Since then 2 more people have come out and made a new rampage on the other side of the street about the same damn subject. Now for once and all, can we stop talking about Bloodline hunting? I mean, damn. How long can we possibly go back and forth about the same fucking thing? Seriously, we are not broken records.So can we bury it?!?!?! 

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Let's Support Them! 

I took a stroll the other day in the Business District and I notice that it is basically a ghost town. No one goes there anymore. The question popped in my head. Why? Why not? And here I have broken it down for you all: 

• Originality - Oh gosh, how many Coffee shops and Clubs can once city have? I mean seriosuly, it is the SAME thing over and over again. We as a whole have lost our touch of originality. Bring something new to the table people. Originality sparks people's attention.
• Service - Service now a-days are terrible!! You have to wait 3 whole fucking days for a damn icecream sandwich. No one will want to come to a business with slow service. We are all busy people, and don't have time to be waiting all day for our product that we spend our hard work money on.
• Advertisement - This is a big one. I rarely know about any of these places. What happened to the days where people actually talked about their new business? We don't even know that a business is up until we go to that cities Business District and most of us don't even go there anymore. Why? Because we don't know that your business is out there.

So, I pledge that someone with a new idea balls up and makes a good business that will bring attention back to the Business District. That is all. 

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Priscilla Help Me! 

If you are a lost soul out there that needs some advice, mail me at My P.O Box! I can touch on subject such as Love, Money....hell, even if you need a tip on how to potty train your dog so it will stop shitting all over your expensive carpet. I'm your girl. With that said I have my first person, who wishes to remain anonymous: 

Dear Priscilla, I have recently started dating this man who is....well, ranked lower than me. And honestly, I am ashamed. I mean, here I am...a Conslig and the guy that I have been dating is just but a Goomba. I make sooo much more money than him but I love him. But I don't know what to do. Things have been moving fast and I pay for all the dinners and hotels. He recently asked me to marry him. I quickly said yes, but now I realize that maybe it wasn't such a good idea. He will be living off of me, and traditionally, the man is suppose to take care of the woman, not the other way around. So I need advice on what to do.

 Signed, Old Hag in Love with Young Lad.

Now, Old Hag, what you're dealing with is not to uncommon. Your the bread winner...be happy! Most girls would die to be in your position. I take it that you are....much older, and he is clearly younger. Be careful, because if you guys do end up getting married and having kids...your kids will think that their dad is their big brother. (Insert Laugh Here). You should start giving him a weekly allowance, so that way he can't leave you for a younger girl with...let's just say...perkier baloons! (Insert Another Laugh Here) As long as you make all the decisions and when you get home, he has your house cleaned and dinner ready. Go for it, girl! You wear the pants in the realtionship! Let the man for once wear the uncomfortable thong. 

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Jokes On You!

This weeks joke comes from someone that I do not know. But it made me chuckle. Hope ya enjoy: 

10 Husbands, Still a Virgin

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin." "What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?" "Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be. Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me. Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up. Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver. Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not. Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it. Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it. Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!" "Good," said the new husband, "but, why?" "You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"

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That's about it.

Well, We have now come to the end of this issue of Priscilla Press. Now, I know I have a potty mouth and may be a little bitchy, and it may offend some of you....TOO FUCKING BAD! This is me, and if you don't like it. Don't read it. haha, No, But in all honesty, I'm here for entertainment and a way to release some of the stress that we have being mafiosos. Until next time.... 

:)

hahaha i love this.

What a wonderful read, thank you for sharing this and a very big well done!

Fantastic, this is just what we need, i too agree your rival, ( if it can be called that) was not great, this was brilliant. I look forward to the next installment.

not only do you kick ass in poker but also in making good newspapers i really liked reading this one :]
i hope there will be many,many more!!!

Please for the love of God, do not stop this newspaper. I thought it was absolutely brilliant. Great job :)

I must say its not the traditional Gwarble Bwarble, but it did put a smile on my face. Well done! I look forward to more of this.

quite enjoyable look forward to helping more i guess :)

Amazing your talented cant wait for the next one

Id like to see this continue, I was pleasantly surprised.

A great read after a hard day. Keep the issues coming

Sam Carollo reads the new Priciila Press while having his coffee and donuts. It was a good read, jelly donut good. Hey biff! You see this? Pescilla wants someone to ball up! I never thought starting The Philadelphia Trucking Company was "balling up". Hehe. Well, the girl's gonna get what she asked for. Sam continues to read and eat donuts.

Biff sips on his coffee, listening to his Boss Sam talking about the the great paper. Well Boss, prehaps you should make and ad with this Dame. We could always use the buisness, Biff goes back to enjoying his coffee.

Very good read! Looking forward to the next issue already!

Very good read Priscilla, well decorated not the dull looking that makes me want to puke everytime I am reading a shitty newspaper, Thanks, looking forward for more off you.

Well, this kept my attention for longer than newspapers normally do, but I want more content!  Not too much.  Too much can sometimes get to be....to much.  but a bit more would be great.  It's been a busy month, and I feel like there's a lot to talk about.  Oh, and with all these new crew leaders, all these new newspapers would be a great way to help publicize their identities.

I love it!  Keep it up Prescilla!  Although I would like to see some advertisement and who knows maybe you can make some money off of this fine paper you have.