MAFIARETURNS FIGHT WRITE CLUB

Today's Topic:  Show Don't Tell

"Just the facts Ma'am"
"Just the facts make for a dull ass story."

What Is "SHOW DON'T TELL" And Why Do You (a writer or reader) Care?

Okay, so if you're thinking you've heard this in a creative writing or composition class - you probably have, but don't run away!  Some of these SUPER EASY tricks can take your writing from "pretty good" to "bad ass" if you just start using them every now and again. 

Seriously - show don't tell is like a fucking cheat code for a writer's A-game.  Don't believe me, check this out.
 

Telling:  Tyler Durden woke up on a storming morning.
Sure.  We know that Tyler woke up.  It's morning.  And it's storming outside.  Just the facts and it's not a bad sentence but...

Showing:  Tyler Durden was woke a dim gray light entering his hotel room.  He wet his cracked lips and peeled his face off the green shag carpet to look around.  Somewhere in the distance thunder rolled on endlessly.  A heavy rain drummed upon the window pane incessantly, reminding him why he should never mix tequila and vodka ever again.
Both convey the same thing but in the showing sentence you can get a MUCH better image in your mind of where Tyler is, what he is doing, what he is feeling, thinking, tasting and smelling.

Places we show sometimes instead of tell
Actions, Dialogue (things people say), Descriptions

Words that can cause you to have weaker writing
was, appeared, decided, felt, heard, knew, mused, realized, seemed, thought, wondered

As with anything there are always exceptions and I'm not saying NEVER use the above words... but if you see them, just take a moment to ask yourself, can I say this another way?  Is there a stronger way to make my point and describe the scene to the readers?

Advice -

Instead of including a paragraph to describe what your character looks like in a bit of writing, work a bit of it here and there into what the character is doing.

• You Could Say: Bob was blind.
  OR:  Adjusting the sunglasses resting upon his face Bob, tapped the curb with the tip of his cane before stepping up onto it.
   
• You Could Say: Sue was angry.
  OR:  She flipped violently flipped her long blonde hair over her shoulder and through clenched teeth said, "One more move, and you're dead."

Use your senses and observe the world around you when YOU do things, then be sure to include other senses (beyond sight) into your writing.

• You Could Say:  She'd been up all night smoking and crying.
  OR:  Her once child-like sapphire eyes were now set in lakes of red, encircled by black rings and puffiness.  I put my arms around her.  The full weight of her collapsed upon me and the stale scent of tobacco filled my nostrils.
  
  Noting how she looked (sight), how she felt (touch), and how she smelled (scent) completed a more tangible picture in the reader's mind than just summing it all up by telling the reader just the facts.
   

Avoid using weaker adverbs with your verbs (and don't run away because I used composition/writing class terms!)

• You Could Say:  Sally turned and walked angrily away from Bob.   (Walked Angrily - how did she walk?  Angrily and this isn't the strongest most image provoking word you could use.  It's still true but not as cool!)
  TRY:  Sally stormed away from Bob.  or  Sally stomped away from Bob.

Assume the reader is as smart as you are and don't write 'down' to them.

• You Could Say:  Sue was mad. 
  TRY:  Sue took off her shoe and threw it at George's head.
  
  Yes, it's possible that someone might not get that throwing a shoe at someone's head means they are mad - but most likely in the context of your story they will.  Assume the reader will get it and don't be afraid to describe something rather than tell it!

Resources You Can Use (Cheat Sheets!) - 

Body Language Cheat Sheet  {1} {2}

Words & Phrases to Describe Emotions/Feelings/States:  https://i.pinimg.com/564x/17/45/6e/17456ed536205bebb984716be316537a.jpg

Words/Phrases for Combat:  http://everything4writers.tumblr.com/post/104128293936/combat-descriptions

Word/Phrases for Romance & Sexy Times:  https://writerswrite.co.za/useful-words-for-writers-of-romance-and-erotica/

MafiaReturns Fight Write Club
Okay so we haven't unveiled it yet so I'll explain in brief - Write Club is really nifty concept that myself and a few others are hatching where writers will get the chance to tell stories in the street against each other COMPETITIVELY in prize fight fashion FOR ACTUAL PRIZES.  MR Players will be welcome to place bets on the match ups to win cash prizes as well! 

To that end, and to help us all hone our craft, I/We will be sharing tips and tricks from time to time on how anyone can up their writing a-game.  If you've got more to say about this topic "Show Don't Tell" or resources to share - please add them in replies below.  Not only will others appreciate them... I do too!  Writing is a craft and like any craft, it can always be improved.

Watch for a full Write Club announcement coming very soon to the OoC board.  

Some great advice here for writers and aspiring writers!

I am looking forward to hearing more about this Write Club Venture, as well. 

Some great info here for even veteran writers!

Thanks for coming out and posting this Frankie, I'm looking forward to taking some of these tips towards my next piece of writing.

Ahhhh refreshingly great info and advice!

We writers need this because sometimes we get lazy in exposition. After all, a fantastic exposition siphons your willpower because you have to dig internally onto the character's mind, heart, and soul. But then again, once the writing piece is over, the sense of relief and satisfaction is blissful enough!

This is going to be huge! *Puts on reading glasses*

I think even JacquelineBlack is postulating a return for the "Write Club"!

The idea that Write Club brought her back to us makes everything even more worth it.  :)  So glad that this is getting a positive response.