|
Oh Jeeeesus.
RonMexico moaned as the orange juice-laced vodka soaked into the trousers of his $130 suit. Well, okay, it was somebody's $130 suit, and that's really the point of it. He had neither the time nor the desire to dilly-dally with narrative intricacies like who bought what and whose underwear he's wearing. He was a busy guy, at the moment being jarred from a very busy nap.
"Mister... Mister Bern?"
The woman had the facial expression of of a willow, done no favors by the salty wind. No doubt she had sailed with Columbus, born his children, then eaten his head.
What? What is it? What do you want?
"We've docked, Mr. Bern, and must ask that you leave the ship at this time."
With all his friends and fellow countrymen making the journey in cramped cargo ships with no food and barely a place to sit, RonMexico had scammed his way onto an exotic luxury cruise. He had sailed the seas. He had seen the sights. He had drank the drinks. He had assaulted the women.
Bah. I'll go tourist it up at the next one. Just grab me four of whatever godforsaken trinkets those bone-worshiping hyenas are hocking and let's get the hell out of here.
"Sir, we're in New York City."
Ah. Then bring me five.
The woman stifled an irritated sigh. She wasn't paid enough to deal with these people. Actually, she was, considering the fact that she was paid decently well, got to travel the globe on the company's dime, and these such incidents were quite few and far between. But still, she didn't like it.
"This is the final destination of this cruise, Mr. Bern."
That's quite alright. I'll stick around for the next one.
He tugged his hat back down over his eyes and tried to pick up where he'd left off.
"It doesn't work that way..."
What way?
"You can't just stay on the ship, sir. The other passengers, the captain, the staff, we're all leaving."
No, no, as soon as you refill this one, I won't need another drink for, what, an hour or so. And I eat like a bird.
A vulture.
"Sir. We must insist that you leave the ship at this time."
What's it cost to rent one of these things?
"Mr. Bern, really..."
Just for the night?
"GET OFF THE GODDAMN BOAT."
You... bitch.
Ron decided to be the bigger man--both bigger and manlier--and after a brief scuffle found himself plodding aimlessly through the streets of an unfamiliar town. Though, every town is familiar when you really don't care who you go home with, so it didn't bother him too terribly. I guess he was just kind of strolling, alright? He wasn't lost because he wasn't going anywhere. Even so, he decided to take a detour from not going there to have a cup of coffee.
He sat in the diner alone, occupying one side of a booth, glazed eyes pointed toward the window. What now? He thought. What does this strange land hold in store for me? He also thought. Will this country offer the opportunities to make the kind of life mother Mexico had always wanted for him, and always told him he could achieve with a little effort, when he was a young boy? He thought still.
"Won't you shut the hell up?" Thought the man at the next table, quite rudely. |
