Issue Four.

Is it just me, or does it seem like controversy follows Priscilla Press? Oh well...Even with some negative feedback, I am still back for another issue! Wooo Whooo! (Insert Applause Here) No matter if you think this is a best newspaper or the shittiest magazine, you still read it. So, I must be doing something right. Hate motivates me! Welcome to the ALWAYS uncensored Priscilla Press!

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Things Are Changing.

Roman came out into the streets to let the whole world know about a big move that is going to be soon approaching us. New Orleans has remained a zombie town for a while now, and to change that, Roman is in the process of sending Captain Stubing and ClarenceWorley to New Orleans.

Hmm...

Congrats guys and I'm anxious to see how this will work out, I heard they have horrible hurricanes! o_0

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Rouge!

Rouging seems to be on every idiots "To Do List". I hope you guys are as sick of these fuck heads as I am. It's like, c'mon...how old are we 5? But, one of the hottest topics this week was in fact "Rouge". What makes people go "coo-coo for co-co puffs" and want to kill every living thing? TheSmilingAssasin said it best:

The disgrace of that one man or woman on that one event is an event that will be remembered throughout their bloodline history, so while they think it's alright, it'll all be over by morning and my child can just carry on..well, no.
It is in my opinion, that when one person decides to turn around and bitch slap their leader with such dishonesty, disrespect and disloyalty, their family line should forever be treated like the two-faced, back stabbing bitch that their parent has proved the line to be.

Well said. Now what does the public think about this rouge? Why do you think people go rouge? And I would actually LOVE LOVE LOVE to talk to someones kin who has went rouge. I think we would have a nice chat, so if a sperm of a rouger is out there, talk to Priscilla so I can get a better outlook on this thing. But anywho, Cast Your Votes Here!

But I am serious, I am going to try my hardest to sit down with the next generation of a rouger. Votes will be tallied and HOPEFULLY and interview will come next week....If those bitches aren't to afraid to face Priscilla! :)

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What An AWESOME Name!

I am excited to share this new business with you guys. Easter Hank has just opened up a suit factory out of the trunk of his car and he is a total badass at making suits! The name of his business is called....wait for it.... Hanks Fucking Rockin Suits! That name alone makes me want to go see what this man is about. He has shown me some sample of his work, check them out:

One | Two | Three 

So obviously, the man has some skill! Prices are negotiable! As I mentioned earlier, he does not have a shop yet...he is working out of his trunk. Is car is parked Here. So go visit him! Plus, he said every customer that he recieves, he will lick my toes! Most people would think, oh....toes, they arent that bad. I took a picture of my Toes so everyone could see exaclty this man has gotten himself into. My toes are fucking disgusting! So go visit this man so I can see him barf at the sight of licking my grenades...I mean, toes.

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So True!

This is such a touching story, I had to share this with you all.

A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!!!"

The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "BITCH!!!"

They each continue on their way, and ..... as the man rounds the next
corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road ..... and dies immediately.

If only men would listen.

Brings a tear to my eyes. The moral of the story is...women are ALWAYS right and men are ALL retarted.

The end.

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You're So Cruel!

I was so sadden to awake and hear about the horrible news about the Las Vegas City Head, Cruel. He had recently been killed for being (In some people's eyes)....well, Cruel. Such a shame, I really liked the guy!

Apparently, there was a BIG miscommunication about an MIA. Words were shared, tears were shed, clothes came off. At the end of the day, a crew leader was killed, along with the ENTIRE Las Vegas Crime Synidcate. Now....a moment of silence for him and all those who have fallen.

.....................................................................................

*Snif Snif* Okay, who farted?!

But no, seriously, Rest In Peace Las Vegas.

If you want ALL the details about what happened, and Cruel's son coming into the streets speaking on his fatehrs behalf, read about it On This Side Of The Streets.

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Update!

You guys are just sooo nice to bitchy ol' Priscilla. 2 weeks ago I started up the Priscilla Fund which gives money to Priscilla for her Cocaine addiction. Here is an update on how much I have recieved in total:

$765,001

Thank you to all those who support my Cocaine addiction. And thank you to all those who only gave me money in hopes that I would overdose. Either way, you gave money! Muaha Thanks guys! I am still taking donations, soo....send me your money!!!!

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Idiot Of The Week. 

Hmm...I was strolling the streets when I overheard a young lad talking about men having sex. This sparked my interest. I immediately grabbed my lube that I keep handy in my purse and a condom for these men (You have to wrap up!) and walked over to listen. The things that went through my head as I was walking were "Yes! I knew he was gay" - "I hope he doesn't leave me for a man" and "Doesn't that hurt?". So once I listened to this man blab, I realized that he was talking about absolutly NOTHING! Just talking shit to get attention. Well, it worked because you're in this issue of Prisciila Press. A tip of the hat to you L-E-K! You were entertaining, if that counts for anything. He's accusing someone of being a homosexual, when it actuality, he probably is. Read this trainwreck.

Ha, CEO of GAP. What.....a mess.

Taking nominations for the next issues idiot of the week! And no, I am not excluded from the competition.

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New Auth.

Interview Time! A new Crew Leader has graced our shores. TonyCorelli. I was able to snag him for a second from assembling his HQ. But I don't think he agreed to the interview just for me, when he heard I give out free cocaine, he practically begged. Check out the maddness:

P: Before we start, would you like to do some cocaine with me to make this go by smoother?

T: Yes *pulls a dollar bill out of his pocket and rolls it up*, but it better be some pure columbian coke.

P: Ofcourse, I always have the best shit. *Pulls out columbian coke* Were you suprised when you got auth to set up and HQ in New York?

T: Yes I was actually. I had a long night in the casino and was sleeping when I got the call, so I woke up did a little coke, set up shop and here we are doing this interview.

P: Do you feel that this was long overdue?

T: Not really, there is a lot of people who have put in a lot of work around these streets, a few with more rank and experience but it goes to show with dedication and the right moves in life you can do it.

P: Would you like a breath mint? You're breath is distracting me.

T: No, if the cigar smell bothers you, then have a drink.

P: I was going to have a drink regardless. *Takes a swift of her Vodka* What unique things do you think you're family will bring to the New York Crime Sydicate?

T: I am all for chain of command, not being bothered with petty issues when there are plenty of people who can solve the problem and need to earn their stripes solving problems. And gambling.. although NY have a great casino, I would like to purchase one sometime and it will come with huge bonus's and prizes for VIP players!

P: I see you have a unibrow....you do know, that is not attractive, right?

T: I'm a pimp, lucky I dont put you on the corner to make me some money!

P: My current pimp would not appreciate that. *Someone yells "Priscilla" from outside* Thats actually him right now. You're lucky the interview has to be over because I was just about to talk about how crusty your bottom lip is. But anywho, do you have any final words you would like to tell the readers out there?

T: If im not around, I am in gambling rehab and speak to my right hand man. Pickpocket Cav and I will pay you 25,000$ cash. And thanks for the interview your paper is.. unique.

Unique is what I aim for. Thanks Tony!

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Adios!

So that's the end of this issue. Vote, make sure you contact EasterHank for a nice suit and donate to my cocaine addiction. Oh...Priscilla Press is looking for a skilled journalist who isn't afraid of a little controversy to join the team. If you feel that this would be a job for you, mail me. If you dont...then....dont. Kisses to my bitches and hugs to my thugs!

Until next time....

yay!! My comments have never made headlines before, I feel all warm and gooey.

Nice paper, great read.

I got stuck on your Rogue pole, it could actually be "All Of The Above"

Especially if the leader was TheDean, no one knows where he's been

as always i find this a great read.

 Great read. Kept me entertained for a few minutes but now back to this thing we call a business.

A fine edition, as always, Miss Priscilla (I ALWAYS have to double-check the spelling on that one).

I hate to be nitpicker, but I just want to making sure we're talking about "Rogues," as in:

2. a playfully mischievous person; scamp: The youngest boys are little rogues. 3. a tramp or vagabond. 4. a rogue elephant or other animal of similar disposition. 5. Biology . a usually inferior organism, esp. a plant, varying markedly from the normal.

–noun

1.

a dishonest, knavish person; scoundrel.

2.

a playfully mischievous person; scamp: The youngest boys are little rogues.

3.

a tramp or vagabond.

4.

a rogue elephant or other animal of similar disposition.

5.

Biology . a usually inferior organism, esp. a plant, varying markedly from the normal.

and not "Rouges."  As in:

–noun

1.

any of various red cosmetics for coloring the cheeks or lips.

2.

a reddish powder, chiefly ferric oxide, used for polishing metal, glass, etc.

3.

Canadian football.

:Sly laughs:

Maybe you had Baton Rouge on that brain after that talk of New Orleans. (sorry!!!)

:Sly facepalms:

Note to self:  ALWAYS correct your corrections.

those damn canadian footballers haha always causing chaos.

something to enjoy when im not working suppose haha

As always. Hilarious!

Very entertaining one Ma'am its good to read one while having a coffee at the morning

Ya, I know I had a little spelling error with "Rouge" and "Rogue". I probably shouldn't write my paper while under the influence anymore....

Whoopsie!

Are there any other positions you need to be filled?



Great read, I really enjoyed it. I'll be sure to send you up some money!

Your accountant makes note that $1 has been wired to Priscilla from your account.


Just think, around six thousand more of those until you've got yourself a whole unit of coke!

I really enjoyed it and I look forward to more.

I had the pleasure of being interviewed...

but I need to talk to that pimp of yours about your behavior, otherwise keep the paper up as now you have some competition with the tribune back out etc etc.

Folds up his signed copy and throws it in his locker in the HQ