Ahem. There is a serious problem with the promotions system. Yes. Yes there is. I, Awesomizard, have discovered that doing nothing can lead to a promotion. Yes, that is correct. With 0 crimes and 0 drug deals under my belt, I have been promoted to Goomba. What is this? How dare they? I was hoping to be the oldest living Gangster ever, but no, the system is screwed. This should not be allowed! Lack of hard effort should not be rewarded! No. No it shouldn't.

I will accept an apology in the form of $1,000,000,000, or however much those in charge consider to be reasonable, to whomever is in charge of whatever family I am in.

Thank you very much, and have a nice day.

Yours Awesomely,

Awesomizard. Esq. PhD., LOL.

so had this awesome guy used the right answers he quite possibly could have achieved his goal?

Most families my family line have been in over the past, have reward systems for being inactive and doing nothing. Being promoted to Goomba is far better than the standard free swimming lessons that they handed out :P

I think I might be the one in charge of whatever family you are in Awesomizard and I could arrange for you to be the oldest living gangster. That is about all I feel is appropriate compensation. Feel free to let me know if this is reasonable for your woes.

Don't worry, Awesomizard, you're not alone in this fight for perpetual Gangster-ism!

Ah, but TWENTYCHARACTERLIMIT, you have bodyguards. That's just weak. Weak, I tell you! Weak!

It looks like I've jinxed myself:

Rank: Goomba

I am ashamed, my bloodline tarnished, my dignity stolen by this promotion.

We should rebel and revolt and commit civil disobedience and terrorism.

Aren't civil disobedience and terrorism complete opposites?

I believe the word you were seeking was... rogue? Two rogue Goombas sounds like a great idea, especially since neither of us have guns.

Nobody shall ever beat the feats of Rev, who was a rogue goomba that did... Oh.. wait. No never mind, he didn't do anything either.

Believe the word I'm looking for? Believe? How dare you explicitly insinuate that I, Awesomizard, descendant of Awesome, Himself, the Master of Literature and Language, would linguistically err. Have you never read the Awesome Fable? I rest my case.

So does that mean you won't go rogue with me? :(

Gangster is just too much of a failure. Stop at Wise Guy...


Maybe he's irish?

Fine, I'll rogue with you, TWENTYCHARACTERLIMIT. But you have to provide the tea and strumpets.