I didn't know it hurts that much. There are many kinds of pain, but the soul's pain is the greatest. The disappointment, something i wouldn't wish not even to my enemies.

I have never been afraid of death, and when my time should have come, I would have preferred to die for my family. I would have been willing to take a bullet at any time, for the good of my family. Defending it against the people who talk nice infront of you, and behind you planning how to kill you.

I was betrayed many times and God knows it hurts so much. Some of my enemies became friends, some of my friends turned to enemies. It's a funny thing if you think better, but that's the way it is. There is no midle way, friend or enemy. I always said "i can forgive but never forget".

I had such big plans and could have done so many this time. I really could. They said "try to stay out of troubles", and i tried my best, not for me, but for the good of the family. But seems like it wasn't enough. 

Finishing the glass of vodka, i take my gun off, load it and give it to her,
"Do whatever you want, I don't care anymore"