The internet and children are not compatible. This is due the fact that developmentally the part of the brain that is used for reasoning is not fully developed until the early 20’s. My perspective on this subject has changed in the last two days. Events often make us reevaluate our ideas. A recent event that has affected both my daughter who is in a high school, and my niece who is in junior high involving the internet.   Had my sister and I not been so vigilant in monitoring our girls access we would have lost them, it was that close. The predators are two different individuals, and both not in our own states. Investigations are underway, and extradition for prosecution is being discussed. As far I know there are several more girls involved in a similar issue as my niece and daughter in our community. This is not an issue just in our community, but across the nation and even the globe, where there is child access to the internet.

Now first someone is going to mention safety measures like blocks on the phones and devices used to access the internet. But this is not always true, they are not effective and sometimes the children know how to circumvent these.  My niece had a device from school the standard safety measures did not keep her from predators.  Now some of you will say the child needs to be taught what is appropriate on the internet and how to interact and safety measures they need to practice on the internet. Yet, children at this age will take these lessons in safety, but they are at a developmental stage where they do not fully comprehend themselves, let alone a predator online so they neglect to practice these lessons. I hear some of you saying that is the parents fault that children come into contact with less than savory characters on the internet. The parent did not monitor properly or did not use parental controls properly.  There were controls on my niece’s school issued device, my own daughters phone I had parental controls on. These did not help, I feel these parental controls are less than effective and give parents and school officials a false sense of security.  

On Friday I believed with parental guidance, and adult monitoring this was enough to avoid these child predators. By Monday 2pm my opinion changed. My new perspective is that children should not have access to the internet, children should not have personal cell phones, and cells phone and any other internet access device should not be accessible to children.  

In high school during the junior or senior year there should curriculum on the internet, the safety issues, actual computer literacy not just how-to code.   They should have assigned computers, so the individual child can be monitored in a more efficient way. My own daughters high school did not even have this idea till Monday 10 am when I told the Vice principal I wanted my daughter’s permission to access the internet revoked.  First, she went the everything is computer, electronic and internet based these days, this is the way technology is moving. My generation has watch the development of computers and the internet. I remember a time before the internet. I know I am a dinosaur, her first argument did not hold ground with me I told her she can do research the old fashion way, the way I did she can go to the library and read a book. Book reading is becoming a lost ability, but that is a different topic. She did convince me to only have her monitored by an adult always when she on the computers, but she also informed me that way they use the computers at the school there is no way to know which student went to where or what activity is related which child. So, I told her to assign my daughter a computer. Now they will implement my idea of assigned computers.     

I also now feel that cell phones should not be allowed at school. They only way a child should have any access to the internet should be on a parent’s personal device, or assigned computers, closer monitoring by adults, with blocks on them at school and home.

What is your perspective on children having access to the internet, should there an age limit, or a school curriculum for internet education?  Should cell phones or hand-held devices be allowed at schools?  How can we better protect the children from these internet predators? Do we need more education for the parents, the school officials, or even the students themselves?

Stop hindering your child's potential to learn about the world. You will only do more damage trying to limit what they do compared to their peers. The whole "back in my day" is not going to work, only backfire. 

Apparently that line is where  you stopped trying to comprehend what I was trying to get across.

If you can not respond with some  form of intelligent answer to the questions I posed, without  laying blame on non essential point. Then don't bother responding.

her first argument did not hold ground with me I told her she can do research the old fashion way, the way I did she can go to the library and read a book

Yikes.

If you can not respond with some  form of intelligent answer to the questions I posed, without  laying blame on non essential point. Then don't bother responding.

While I will say that you are, for the most part, right about most of your conceptions. Something like what you're proposing will not work for every single family. In my case, my son NEEDS a phone because he walks almost a mile to school. ( We are without a vehicle for the time being and due to a mix up with the schools, the school he goes to, does not pick up in our area. ) I really like to receive that call from him letting me know he got there safely. Sure he uses it to get online and what not, but for the most part he is merely playing games. 

I think it comes down to the type of relationship parents have with their children. In my case, while some may think it's the wrong way to go about things, I don't lie to my kids about anything. I've told them, in detail, the things that CAN happen when they are not careful, and despite wishing I had a better life for them, I've noticed that they learn from my mistakes as well. 

All you can do is prepare them for the real world. What they do with that information, is up to them. Very much so like it was up to us, when our parents told us about the dangers at that time. ( I know we probably didn't have internet at the time, but there were other dangers ) Did we listen then? Most likely not. Our children will do the same and all we can do is hope they make the right choices based on what we've instilled in them. Maybe I'm wrong or maybe I'm rambling but not every situation calls for the same type of resolution. Every situation has needs a different outcome. 

I do however agree that there should be an age limit, but in these times, you'll find that A LOT of things require internet access. I mean my 9 year old has assignments that he needs the computer and internet to complete. I think every situation should be considered on a case by case format so to speak. While two incidents may appear almost identical, there's no telling what other circumstances one set has over the other. If that makes sense.

I will agree with Grendel on that point, I hate using that line as well on my kids and I try not to. Because things aren't the same "back in our day". So much is different, especially when it comes to safety.  

I worry about all these things as well, just like you, especially because now my daughter is growing up and will soon be following in her brothers footsteps. So I guess it all comes down to the parent/child relationship. At least that's my thinking. Forgive me if I went off topic or rambled, or failed to directly answer any of your questions. It just made me think about the situations I'm going through. Nonetheless this really is a truly relevant topic to today's security of our children. I look forward to seeing what other people respond with. 

Thank you for your insight.

 I am naturally a blunt person and  I don't have time to sugar coat life for my daughter. I am bluntly honest with her about life, and even this topic. You are  quite correct when it comes  to the child ultimately making their own decision no matter the precautions, communication, or steps we take as parents take. My mother reminds me on occasion that our children are not ours, they belong to the universes, they merely come through us. But still some regulation on age limit or even special phone for minors that are actually a phone and not a miniature computer with internet access.  And I believe with the high school my daughter is at they are keeping their current controls in effect , but are also adding assigned computers to the children when they use them in library. To better monitor that they are not coming into contact with predators. 

Your agreement with Grendel is fine and so is his  statement other than it did not offer any  insight to the topic nor any of the questions I posed.

I'm glad to give my thoughts to any topic as worthy as this. I agree with you on that, and I'm not sure if there is, but someone should provide a phone service for children so to speak, though now thinking it's quite easy to get a simple talk/text prepaid phone WITHOUT internet access from almost anywhere these days, so maybe that is a viable option for parents to consider. Should their child ultimately NEED a phone. I think in most cases most children should have a phone. Especially if they are the type that walk to and from places. Whether it be a mile to school, or just down the block to a friends house, or down to the corner store if it's within an appropriate range, but YES it should be without internet, ESPECIALLY if they intend to be walking. It will keep their attention focused where it needs to be. 

My kids tell me about their computer time at school as well. I can't say for other places but I'm comfortable with the measure they take to secure the safety of the children. At home I do monitor them as the computer is in the main room of the house, where one of the parents is ALWAYS present. But like I said and like you said, they are their own persons, their own individuals. All we can do is give them the tools to make better choices than we did. It's up to them to make the proper decisions and all we can do is standby, hope for the best, and be ready to help them with anything that arises.  

Thanks for taking the time to hear me out and I'm glad we agree on most aspects of this dilemma that plagues our children, especially with the internet and social networkings expanding every day. 

I feel children should be monitored and their contacts checked carefully for their own safty. too many messed up people out there that pray on kids these days.

I am actually looking for a phone  for my daughter, one that does not have the capability to access the internet. In my recent search though I have found that it has to  be a 1999 phone or earlier, than hope it is compatible with one of the phone carriers. So I continue my research on the phone issue.

I do monitor my child, she is 17 so at this stage she was also being allowed a certain amount privacy. Till I received red flag behavior then I went deeper into the phone, invaded her privacy and that is where the perpetrator  was found.  My monitoring is why she is still at home, and not  in some child trafficking ring.

I have brought this subject up  in other place I frequent in  the last couple days, and the consensus seems to be that children should only have basic phones, with no capability to access the internet. The access to internet should only be at schools and home on parental devices.

There's so much peer pressure in the schools today.  If you don't have certain things like cellphones, designer clothes a target to become bullied.  You have to keep talking with your kids about the internet hopefully they will get it because it's necessary.

This is a very intesting and topical subject you bring to the table, Terrah.

I am 18 years old, soon turning 19. I have good parents who have tried to keep me off the internet as long as possible. They only allowed me to open a Facebook account at the age of 15. They only allowed me to get Snapchat a couple of months ago. They used to keep a very close eye on my history. So in that sense, they are a little bit like you.

I agree partly with what you say. There are some dangers to the Internet, and it is important to monitor your children, in my opinion. It’s normal for a child to be curious and explore some things, but that’s why you check what they are up too and use that to set your boundaries with them. ( For example: They are spending too much time playing a game. So you put up a boundary, no more than 30 minutes per day... etc. ) I’m talking for myself, but confiscating the phone is a pretty effective consequence to anything as well.

Where I disagree with you, is the zero contact with internet thing. The internet is an amazing ressource. God knows how many time it helped me, and still is extremely useful. Sure, there are other ways I could go around it but it makes it so much easier and gives me more time to put on other important things. For example, I can do an English research and practice my music for 2 hours in the same day, instead of spending the whole day at the library on my research. It’s also important to give a little liberty as the years go by. I for myself, was extremely discouraged and borderline left out at school because of that. Everybody would talk about Internet things, videos, music and I couldn’t relate with anything. It was very frustrating. Of course I survived and it wasn’t the end of the world, but I do think it’s something parents don't always seem to understand. 

As I said, this is just my opinion and I completely respect yours as well. I hope the point of view from someone younger did shed a little of light on your question.

I can in many way agree to Terrah. But its hard since the kids in school and other places easily get into the internet.

The biggest thing to do is have good check on them and make sure they early know how dangerous the net can be for them, so also its important to talk much with them.

I appreciate all you coming and sharing your perspective on this topic. An opinion on something can not develop fully unless other perspectives are heard. 

I had not even taken  peer pressure and the fact it is a keeping up with  the Jones society. Now that I have I ask myself do I care more about what peer pressure and the "in crowd" say when she most likely won't even know any of them 15 -20 years down the road. Who knows maybe she will. Should I put her safety , and this well learned lesson for her below what her peers may say? No I think peer pressure and having what everyone else has is second.

I doubt a year off the internet will put her back too far with what the hip music, or latest fad is. You survived and she will for the year also.

Trust is like a vase, you can mend  it but it will never be the same.

I had parental guards on her phone. I do monitor her phone, (as I  previously said  that is how I found the perpetrator). I communicated with my daughter these dangers on the internet, she gave me the impression she understood. She has  guidelines set for how to interact with "online strangers" and said she understood those.  Just to make it clear communication is and was present.

I also stated earlier that she will be assigned a computer at the school now. I am in search of a phone that is simply a basic phone. With access to the internet from school and my personal computer now I feel that is all she needs at the moment. As far as her accessing the internet from a friends phone, I am no fool I know she can and very well may do this. I have told family and friends that she is not allowed online so they are watching her internet activity as well. A precautionary measure at the very least.

None of her current social media sites/ email/games/etc. are her property at the moment, nor is her phone they are in possession of the sheriff's office. So she has no reason to use those for the time being and as far as I am concerned for the next year.

This is a serious thing as all that have  taken the time to respond agree upon. I appreciate all your input and the time you all took to respond to this conversation.

As I said an opinion on something can not evolve without other ideas being introduced. So I greatly appreciate all your perspectives that you have brought up that I did not take into consideration for one reason or another.

We were very strict with our daughter, She didn't get a personal cell phone until she was driving and going out on her own. And even then it was monitored closely. She knew she was to only be in contact with family and very close friends. And there were only certain things she was allowed to do on the internet. 

We didn't let her have a computer of her own until she was in high school, and even that was very closely monitored and she was only allowed short amounts of time on it and communication on it was very limited. We had to know everyone she was talking to and we had a progam on the computer that allowed us to see everything she was saying and to who she was saying it to. 

When she was younger and had to have the computer for assignments we let her use our computer but we would check to make sure it was exactly what she was doing. 

She wasn't excited that we didn't let her use the computer and internet and phone like all of her friends but she lived through it and she was safe. And when she got it, she was responsible with it.