Some random day

Walking down the bar he was supposed to be giving the owner a little "push" to remind him of the money he owed Villain found a pretty round shaped rock on the ground so he started a contest with himself of hitting it all the way through to the location. It was a good long kilometer until there but hell, it was the most exciting thing he had done all day. I mean getting the promotion, a huge raise on reputation and the hand position can be a pretty great thing but damn look at that rock, you ever seen something so smooth and round. Makes you question about how something so perfect can exists out there. 

Now that you think about it, there was this chiseling shop which sells sculptures made out of different kind of rock but that's totally out of the subject we're discussing here. 

300 meters gone, a little more left, he passes to the right*to himself* he passes to the left, what a beautiful cross, takes the shot, GOOAAL!. That must've pushed it at least 10 meters. Alright, alright it was 9. My kicking sucks, otherwise I wouldn't be here kicking this gift from the one.

Anyway, back to the boring, not exciting part where something truly extraordinary was about to happen that would change the wor... well it would certainly change the mood of Villain but he doesn't know shit about it so you alongside him will have to wait a little more!

600 meters now, hands on his pockets, whistling and wondering if he should light another cigar or not Villain was thinking over what he could do to make it more interesting for him, maybe for you too but who gives a crap about that, it was all about him! 

Hmmm, maybe, is this it, the glorious moment!?

Something happened, a light popped above his head, like literally, people were screaming around the corner. "Who the fuck is that guy and how do I get myself a lightbulb, the electric bills seem to eat up your money these days.!"- was heard from some low thug. 

"I freaking got it! How the hell did I not think of this before?!"

And that's all we can cover for today, hope you had a good time, please bring your loved ones next time. 

Wait what? You want more than just a teaser? I swear I thought this was a good idea to keep you interested and piss you off at the same time, genius heh?

Alright, I'll just give the full story, jeeez. Here goes nothing.

"This is the best thing I could ever think of! I'm gonna open a pet shop."-uuuuuuuhhhh what?

"What the hell are you doing, that's the last thing that I suggested, you're supposed to do a freaking editorial, like what the hell man." was heard from inside his head. Alter-ego, weird brain, awesomeness, you decide.

"Oh right, I got it, this is the best thing I could ever think of, I'll do an editorial, mhmm."-well there's a good though at least, about time you got it.

"Now how do I do something like that?" Villain started wondering to himself, it was something that he needed some help with and to make things even weirder a flyer flying through went to his face. 

He picked it up, straightened it and started reading.

NY ATTIC

To all aspiring reporters out there.

Had a lightbulb pop over your head in the middle of the street?

Got some crazy ideas on being a reporter?

Got some shitty great cover story which would sell for high price?

Is your name Villain?

Wait no more, for only 25 minutes and 500$ you will learn

everything about that and more.

CONTACT:

That guy with the blue jacket on your right.

This looked like a sign from GOD. How else could you explain it. Things like this happen only once in a thousand years. Of course Villain took the offer and took out some money he had gained earlier and went over the the shady man and initiated a conversation.

Now to keep it roomy out here we're going to shorten the names for a few lines. V will stand for Villain and BJ for blow... oh wait not that one, Blue Jacket. Alright let's carry on.

V:I'm guessing this flyer leads me to you old man.

BJ:That it does my son, that it does. The Lord has lead me today in help of the aspiring youth and it's a miracle that it reached you so quick! Now you got the cash?

V: Oh, yeah. Here you go. Let's get this shit started!

BJ: Seems like it's all here, come to my office. This will be the best class you've ever had.

*30 mins later*

V: Wow, that truly was something! How did you manage to get up in that situation?

BJ: That is not important now, what matters is that you're now a fully fledged reporter my son. Here's this Reporter Card to prove it to the world about your accomplishments.

V: This is a great day so far, again thank you and..

Some lady jumps in from the other side of the street and asks the old man if he's the guy in Blue Jacket to meet for her master cooking class in 25 minutes. Oh well time to leave and get this started. It was going to be a really long day ahead! 

Feeling like he had completed his mission in life Villain turned around and started walking towards the HQ. Oh man, wait until the guys heard about this, it was going to be an all out party tonight! Speaking about that, he stumbled upon Petah on his way there who was showing some of the other crew members how to properly rob... I mean retrieve green stuff politely. 

"PETE, I'm a reporter now! Like one of those real ones not just a shitty one. I even have this card to prove it, look at it. Look at it!" said Villain as he started flashing his card all over Petah face. 

"Hmm congrats! Why is it handwritten though and the word Reporter is misspelled? Oh the hell with it, nice thing man go rock some stuff!." See that? That's how a leader is supposed to inspire a member, or at least not shatter their dreams, or save himself the hassle of having a long debate with Villain, probably the first one and certainly not the latter one.

Having finished that, he headed to the store to buy himself a  video-camera, typing machine and an assistant. That's right, they sell video-cameras on that new shop down the corner, good ones too. Every slacker who wants to make a name for himself needs one of those, and what better place than that. Having acquired the invaluable assets he handed them over to his assistant and decided to head over his GodMother Bubbles place. It had been a while since the last time he visited, there were soo many bubbles in the air though. 

Standing before the gate, all sort of different colored bubbles were in front of him. Reaching out to one which caught his attention, he pulled his hand forwards trying to get a hold of it. Just as soon as it was about to make contact someone reached and pushed him out of the way.

"Oi, what do you think you're doing like that? Want to get yourself in trouble?" Aha, just as he thought. The familiar voice was none other than the voice of Bumblebee .

"This is the 4th time this is happening, where's your mind man. Get a hold of yourself already." said Bumblebee

"His fault."was all that was heard from Villain as he pointed his finger towards his assistant.

"Anyway what are you here for, oh yeah the mademan celebration. Congrats on it, and I honestly don't see how you made it there without getting yourself shot first."

"Actually, I just became a ..." said Villain as he was interrupted.

"Reporter, yeah. I heard the news, don't think there's anyone left here who hasn't to be honest."

"That man at the corner, don't think he has heard it yet. Can't afford leaving him in the dark. Here I go!"

And that is how Villain became a Reporter. 

This story has been dragged too much already so I'll catch you on the next one where the fun begins.

Best of luck and stay safe, don't burn any forest too.

Petah was just getting in bed for the night with a warm glass of milk and his favourite pair of pyjamas on. It had been a long day of purse snatching and pocket picking. 

All of a sudden Villain came crashing literally through his bedroom door. 

"Hey hey Petah! hey Petah! You awake! Oh good your awake! Did you hear? I am a reporter now! Certified by blue jacket man and everything!"

Petah sat up and gave Villain a confused look... you know the one your dog gives you with the tilted head when it has no fucking clue what your asking it... yeah that one. 

"Uhh yeah man, you told me like a hour... wait, blue jacket man? The guy who teaches the crew leader course?"

Now Villain had the confused dog look....

"Crew leader course? Huh... no he teaches reporting and cooking. Duh."

Now they were both confused and just stood there for a few minutes all head-tilty... "Hmmm must be two blue jacket guys" Petah finally said. 

"Well either way, congrats man that's great news. Your a natural at reporting stuff. You do it around the HQ all the time to us, might as well let the rest of the world hear you blabber, err... I mean 'report' as well. Want some milk by the way? That cheese has got to be making you thirsty you've eaten like a pound since you got here...."