The Fucking Mafia News; Vol 2

Published by Montague, Edited by Montague, inspired by a few other, sadly deceased, giants among us

This is The Fucking Mafia News (FMN), a new publication to plug the gap caused by the death of Melvin and of the various publishers of The Fucking News.

Last issue was a roaring success, sales reached almost $7M.  Not bad, huh?  Thanks to everyone who contributed and for all of your words of encouragement.

Right, let's get started.

IDIOT ATTACKS THE NOTION A FREE PRESS

A complete fucking IDIOT has attacked a journalistic publication.  Creation, who is a self confessed heroin dealer, is a two bit Earner in James-Coonan's outfit.  The Irish mob, it seems, have real difficulties with the notion of a free press, either refusing to co-operate with investigations into their associate's deaths, or hosting those who attempt to intimidate journalists simply reporting the news.

We note that Creation's bloodline is not familiar to our team of roving reporter's, and investigations into the familial history have this far drawn a blank.  Could this be because that bloodline have done nothing worth mentioning?  We here at The FMN believe that this is likely true.  However, another theory, and one that hasn't been disproved, that Creation's bloodline are being carefully concealed - that they contain trouble-makers and havoc-creators and that, at one point, they were involved in a failed and foiled plot to take down a direct relative of one of our Godfathers.

Our reporters remain committed to investigating and reporting on this... person.

GODFATHER ATTACKS THE NOTION A FREE PRESS

Vol 1 of The FMN attracted the ire of a Godfather, we note.  Given the stature of the GF in question, and the fact that we here at the FMN haven't slept for some time, we aren't going to name his name.  Or her name; he might be a woman.  The reporter investigating this story has unfortunately been diagnosed with a sleep condition, Insomnia, and the reporter filling received a memo to investigate Insomnia and the effects that it has on reasoning, logic, intelligence, sexual performance and being an effective leader.

Brancer - Challenging Business Models of the Free Press

Brancer (nope, not us either) recently challenged how The FMN went about our business.  The notably charmless Don, a lowly LHM, said, in a small, shrill voice "Calling your readers fucking idiots doesn't seem like a great business model."

Well, maybe it is, maybe it isn't.  Time will tell, no?  How many newspapers have you sold, Brancer?

And what type of business model should we employ?  Huh?

Unexplained Deaths

This is the latest section in The FMN in which Unexplained Deaths will be examined.  It's called Unexplained Deaths.

SirBarnabieHuckles

Now this is a stone cold whodunnit!  Huckles was an aged WiseGuy in Serana's crew - his funeral was well attended and quite frankly, we're scratching our heads here.

Any leads?  We approached his crew, but they weren't saying a word.

Given his age and his prominent bloodline, we suspect that POLHF or a similar organisation could have made the move.  Why?  We simply don't know.  We just recognise the modus operandi.

Dear readers, do you have any tips?

INTERVIEWS

We are delighted to announce that we had a quick interview with Fankie-Messina!  We have other interviews coming in future volumes too.  Thanks to all who contributed.

When you look around the people who are prominent, who immediately springs to mind, and why?

"I think of the people I surround myself with, the good folks in my crew and my city really, they are the ones I spend the most time with.  On occasion I reach out to the crew leaders and godfathers of other cities - you have to keep lines of communication open after all in order to prevent war.  The people who immediately spring to mind for me are my hands, both SullivanBlack and Matty as well as my Captains, Allera, GangsterPriest, and Raconteur."  She nods thoughtfully at this.  "In our city Godfather Shaggs obviously could be mentioned as being prominent and any crew leader... TonyCastelli is really the glue that holds us together, I think.  He's a charismatic leader and well deserving of his position.  I have a ton of respect for him."

Which organisations have captured your attention?

Frankie thinks about this a moment, "Well, clearly the most successful Godfather in the history of the United States has to be Tyler Durden.  While he's an anarchist and I honestly don't take a shine to how he runs things - the guy just never seems to go away.  He's warred with every crew leader and Godfather I know and he's out lived them all.  There's something to be said for that, even if you hate the guy, he's tenacious as fuck and always got massive numbers in his crew.  I honestly don't know how the hell he does it." 

Where does true power lie in this society?

"I think power in this thing of ours lies with those who recognize and accept the nature of what it is we do and NOT with those who rage over the lack of truth in the fairy-tales told about honor among thieves.  Clearly, we all appreciate order, chaos hurts business and pointless war does nothing, but destroy stability.  However, if we raise our children to lose their minds when we eventually die, by the very same guns we carried in life, then we've done them a sincere disservice. Fact is, the moment we take up a gun and knife in this life, we accept that we are going to die abruptly and in some horrible way we didn't plan... not old safe in our beds."

"If you raise your kids to act shocked that your enemies didn't have a 'good reason' for killing you... then you've raised children who are ignorant to the truth.  The truth is that there are no good people here - we're all just looking for another way to get ahead of the next slouch.  I'm not good.  You're not good.  We're fucking criminals and that's the truth.  Good people go to work nine-five, they get married and have kids, they go to church on Sundays and pay their damn taxes - maybe serve their country in the damn military.  They aren't out peddling flesh, or drugs, or running gin, and they sure as hell aren't out wacking folks."  

"But I was born into this life - same as many of your readers... and I can't ignore what needs doing.  I didn't have a choice in that - but some people do and for those who choose to be good; well, they're sheep waiting to be preyed upon by wolves of this world.  It's up to made men, and women, to either ignore what's happening... or do something about it."

"The very best thing I can hope for in this life, the closest to good I may ever be, is in doing something bad in the name of good people who can't or won't do for themselves.  Sticking it to corrupt cops, double dealing politicians who live high on the hog because of the sweat and blood of good men and women; and maybe even protecting my neighborhood from worse fucking monsters than me and the ones who run with me."

What change would you like to make?

"I suppose some part of me wishes for more order and maybe a little bit of the fairytales... I mean, don't get me wrong; I want them as much as the next gal.  To think of loyalty and honor among thieves is a great thing, to aspire to it is noble - to expect it, however, that's probably foolish."  She smiles.  "But if I could wave a wand and change things... I suppose I'd make the world just a little more like what my late husband, Tony, wanted it to be.  A place where a man born into crime can work his ass off and offer his sons and daughters something more honest and good.  Where even men who live by the gun and knife, upheld a standard of loyalty and honor... where death wasn't such a common answer to problems."

Frankie sighs.  "If only wishes could build bridges, right?"  She offered her hand to her interviewer to shake.  "Thank you for taking the time to talk to me today, Montague.  I hope I prove interesting to your readers.  I certainly have two minds about these sort of things and I hope your readers enjoy my point of view."

Thanks for taking the time to talk to us, Frankie-Messina.  We will be in touch.

Concussion

Well folks, that's it for Vol 2.  A few of you fuckers complained that it wasn't long enough in the previous issue, so, you know, happy now?

No history section this Volume, but stay tuned, that's coming soon, along with more interviews.

As always, send us money - and if you want to send it anonymously with a tip, so much the better!

She looked at the papers with disgust, utter disgust. "I'm a journalist for the newspaper press, and I'm a wise-guy. You have asked me, or James no questions whatsoever. And I'd refuse any question you'd ever ask me, just from this alone. I am actually French, thank you very much. If this is a free-press, the society and people have a free-speech, fucking moronic dick. You think you're society? At least, do it fucking right. Nor have I, or will I ever confess shit to you, learn your fucking place." She'd end up taking a match to the nearest newspaper stand, and would ignite all the newspapers on fire, including her own. She'd start to walk away, onto the next stand.

Hmmmm. This one was much better and it’s safe to say I may have to speed up my publishing process.

A few days have passed since TM had read the first issue of TFMN, himself one of the first crop of mafioso to hold an issue with the first edition. however being one to believe in second chances and redemption finds himself at a familiar news stand with a familiar paperboy. A smirk draws over the mans face as he recalls stealing his last issue of the paper, although much still wary about paying for it before he reads it he tosses the kid a nickel grabbing a copy off the shelf. Looking st the title page he takes a deep breathe in view, wondering if perhaps he would need a stiff drink and a cigarette to settle his nerves, if it was anything like the first issue he would defiantly need one. However he can’t help but smirk a little bit as he begins to read page after page, although not enough to flat out impress him as October’s Very Own had done, he still found himself pleasantly amused.

”It seems that a few lessons were learned from the last issue, although as always there is room to improve and grow. This gives me and perhaps other readers a glimpse of hope that volume 3 will be on the same right track as volume 2. The interview with Don Messina the nicest touch to your paper so far. Quite amazing what can be accomplished if one applies themself. Although your style of journalism  is still not entirely my cup of tea, I think it’s safe to say this issue will be spared being liner for my exotic bird cage today”

TM smirks setting the issue back down on the rack, he continues wandering down the streets. Although none of the articles really sticking with him, his mind wanders to the one thing that did peak his interest, the growing rivalry between the two informative media companies, although it was obvious who TM wanted to see emerge on top he was keen to see how this journalistic slug fest would play out.

Expecting the appropriate amount of sexual material this time around, Transistor heads near the newsstand, excited and intrigued to see a new issue of The FMN available for sale.

"Extra, extra!" The man at the newsstand yells.

Transistor flicks a nickel in his direction before grabbing a copy and, this time with much more reasonable expectations, browses through, heading toward the subway.

Caught up a newspapaer-boy and bought an issue.

When I sat down and rad around the paper a had some smile on my face, pretty good I thought of a new newspaper.

Walks away and thinks that Im sure I buy the next issue too.

Walking around the corner to the local news stand, she sees a copy of TFMN and decides to pick up 25 copies for her restaurant. People are always asking her for a newspaper, after all, so she thought it would be a courtesy to have a few on hand. She can always pick up more later if necessary.

"Thank you, sir. Just what I needed. Have a nice day."