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| The Captains Release | Started by: TheCaptain on Jan 19, '08 04:44 |
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The Captain walks with a cocky swagger in his step, and an even cockier grin on his face, winking at the ladies as he passes by. Today was a great victory for The Captain. He was kidnapped, and people were asked to send in money. Not for his release...but to determine if he would be released, or if he would be killed. The people had spoken, and shown that The Captain lives in the hearts of all those good and pure, and especially the hearts of the ladies. The Captain wasn't out in the streets to brag about his victory though...well not entirely anyway. No The Captain was out here to call out not the kidnappers...but almost fifty percent of the people who sent in money. Because The Captain was very close to being put to death because of their money. Team Tie had won, with The Captain still living, but that wasn't good enough for The Captain. He had something to get off his chest, and now was the time to do it. The Captain stopped in the middle of a crowded intersection, stood atop a car and began his little speech. You're probably all wondering why The Captain is out here causing a scene. As I'm sure a lot of you know, The Captain was kidnapped and just released mere hours ago. If you don't know, or care, then this doesn't have anything to do with you anyway, so The Captain's not going to bother explaining it. Anyway, first and foremost, The Captain would like to thank his adoring fans. The ones who put money down just to see him released safely back into the world that needs him so dearly. To be perfectly honest, without all of your contributions The Captain probably would have overwhelmed his captors once he found an opening, and would have returned to his public anyway, but you had no way of knowing that, so you still sent your cash, and you have The Captain's undying loyalty for that. If any of you ever need anything, you just ask and The Captain will do what he can. The Captain turns to a group of people off to the side, who don't seem too happy that The Captain is there right now. With a cocky smile and an angry look in his eyes, he flips them off and continues his rant. Now on to those of you who didn't want The Captain to ever see the light of day again. You actions speak VOLUMES about your jealousy towards The Captain. I can tell which of you it was who put money on The Captain to die, and when he looks into your eyes he can see exactly what you're thinking, and he knows your reasoning behind wanting The Captain dead. The Captain shifts his gaze to one of the people who are seemingly unhappy. Look at ya with your beady little eyes locked on The Captain..."Damn...now that he's back, there'll be no women for me again! Even the ugly ones will be too busy dreaming of what might be if they were only a little prettier." Yea look at ya...you've probably never touched a woman other than your Mother. The Captain lifts his gaze from the first onlooker, and stares at another of the unhappy trio. You...you're even more pathetic. The Captain can see exactly what you're thinkin'. "Oh God why! Why is he so much cooler than me?! I know I'm not cool at all, buy why does HE have to be so cool?! It just makes me look all the more sucky...and I didn't think that was possible!" Well The Captain has news for ya, the rest of us didn't think it was possible either. But don't feel too bad about it. There are few people out there who actually look cool, compared to The Captain. And you... The Captain points to, and looks at the biggest member of the trio, the one right in the middle standing as if he's the ringleader. You're the worse of the bunch. You're nothing but...ya know what, no. The Captain isn't even gonna waste his, or his people's time explaining what you're thinking. You look a little too stupid to think anyway. The Captain turns back to address the rest of the crowd, flipping off the unhappy trio once again The Captain plans on being around for a very...very long time. You can want him to die all you want but uh uh...ain't gonna happen. You don't like it, then either put up and shut up, or pack your bags and go somewhere else. The Captain leaves you with this...for all of you who who chose life...you have his love...for all of you who chose death...go die...slowly and painfully...of gonorrhia or something even more unplesent that isn't really deadly, but if left untreated will cause great discomfort and eventually death...thank you. The Captain walks away with a cocky swagger right past the unhappy trio, and winks at them, spits at their feet, and then continues on. As he's walking away, a young guy, barely a man, comes running up excitiedly, and whispers in The Captain's ear. The Captain motions for him to leave, and turns back around to the crowd still there Oh and by the way...The Captain has just recieved word that he's now...Made. That would make him, no longer the greatest Wiseguy to ever live...but the greatest Made Man to ever live. If ya don't know...now ya know... The Captain turns back in the direction he was walking again, and walks off into the sunset more thrilled with himself than he had ever been before. |
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