Shimmer. I can see the shimmering of ghosts if I look out of the corner of my eye. They are dancing. The couple were lovely and they were dancing to the tune of an old song that only they knew. As they danced her dress flared out and he spun her round and round. They were such a lovely couple I wanted to turn and watch them so badly but they would disappear.

I realized then that it was him and I that I was watching. It was the evening that he had proposed. It was the evening that everything had gone all wrong. The dinner was perfect. The dancing was perfect. Even the proposal was perfect. But our life together was not meant to be because the drive home was not perfect. He had spun off the road and crashed after dropping me off. Perhaps he drank too much that night. I am still unsure.

That was the night that replays in my head. That is the night I watch the ghosts of us. My heart hurts too much and I turn my head towards them. They vanish. Gone.

~*~

Too young. Another ghost comes to visit. She is young. She is hopeful. She is doing everything she can to help her boss out. My mother was never a mother really to me, but she showed me what she did enjoy. The way of life that kept her too busy to come home. The way of life that brought her money only some of us could dream of. This is the ghost that joins me now.

Her long dark hair sways in the wind as she looks around her. Was she scared? She knew she was protecting someone. Giving her life up for them and still she had the look of calm around her. All it took was one bullet to kill this strong woman. Her life came down to a bullet to the head and there wasn't a damn thing anyone could do about it.

This breaks my heart. This woman who always seemed so invincible fell. But as I turn my head towards her she vanishes. Gone.

~*~

First Times. Once I entered this world there was a time I wouldn't have done anything wrong. A time where I felt that I could never stoop to any level of meanness towards another human being. In my lifetime I know what it felt like to be alone. What it was like to starve. To feel pain. And most of all what it was like to try to survive.

One of those times I had been doing just that, surviving. Her ghost this night travels towards me. It was an accident between us when I was trying to get the sandwich she had hidden but she came back too soon. You see she wasn't a fan of thieves and things turned ugly real fast. Sharp knives were never my thing. So in my survival mode all I could do was take hers and make sure she could never hurt me again. This was the first time I had ever killed anyone.

All I feel is sadness at the loss of each person. I still see their ghosts but every time I look at them they vanish. Gone.