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A Bears Life - The Origin of Funshine Started by: Funshine on May 26, '18 00:16

Funshine was just a normal bear cub, born and raised in the woods. His mother was showing him how to catch trout down by the river when he heard a branch snap amongst the trees. His curiosity got the better of him, as his young mind didn’t realise the potential threats of wandering into the woods alone. As he approached the tree line, a large net fell from the trees. Several men jumped out from behind the trees and began dragging Funshine deeper into the woods. As he was being dragged, he looked back at his mother who looked scared and worried. Several men from the group approached his mother at the river, and formed a circle around her. He witnessed one of the men throw a similar net over his mother before attacking her. His mother stood on her hind legs and let out a loud ‘RAWR’ before suddenly falling silent. At this point, his mother was not within his line of sight. The emotions began to overwhelm Funshine as he had no idea what the future would hold, or whether his mother had survived the attack.

He was dragged for several hours back to the roadside where he was placed into a trailer attached to the back of the vehicle. Several days had passed. The vehicle stopped moving and he heard mutters as a large group of people gathered outside of the trailer. As the trailer door opened, Funshine retreated to the rear of the trailer to try and escape the blinding sunlight. Still trapped, one man grabbed the net and trailed him through a muddy dirt trail that seemed to be a make shift road. As he was being dragged through the mud, he was able to look around at his surroundings, only to find others looking down on him. He had never seen people like this before. They were different from those who captured him. One of them was three times smaller than his captors and one was 3 times larger as well as a woman who was hairier than him. He thought to himself ‘What is this place?’

He was dragged towards a set of cages, each with a different frail animal inside it. The man drops Funshine at the front of the cage and prods him with a stick, to force him to enter. Curled up in a ball to protect himself, he realized that the prodding had stopped. He raised his head to see his abuser had been knocked out by a rock, thrown at his head. A powerful man who seemed to be the leader of this group of people had thrown the rock at his crew member while shouting ‘Leave it alone! It is special’. The man looked down at Funshine and said ‘I am Calpain. You and I will get along just fine if as long as you behave yourself’.

TO BE CONTINUED

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....Calpain had a troubled childhood. He was raised by a single mother who thought a quarry was a safe and sufficient place to raise a child. His mother had went out for a packet of cigarettes but never returned. She was hit by a falling rock, two hundred feet from her home. Calpain was left to fend for himself. Miles from civilization, he grew up not knowing that other people existed. It was at the tender age of 15 years old that he began carving people out of stone….particularly, females. It was this lust for rocks that had lead Calpain to the river that day. He had not set out to harm any animals but as it turned out he could use a young bear that he could train to become the star attraction for his circus show.

Calpain placed a bowl of water and food in Funshines cage before he locked it and walked off into the darkness. Several hours later without a single minute of sleep, Calpain returned. ‘Now, remember what I said last night? Behave, and we will be just fine.’ The moment he opened the cage door, Funshine lunged at him gripping his arm between his teeth while trying to rip it from his body. One of his crew members threw a small but loud explosive which exploded and startled Funshine, forcing him to release Calpains arm. ‘Agh! My arm, you are gonna regret that!’ Calpain said. Walked briskly back to his office to fetch a bucket and all the bleach he could get his hands on before walking back to Funshines cage. He placed the buckets on the ground infront of him and proceeded to fill them with bleach. The fumes were enough to make the bear grow weak and tired. As Funshine could barely stand, Calpain began pouring the buckets of bleach slowly over the bears fur. It was not long before Funshine fell unconscious. When the bleach pouring finally came to an end, Calpain looked down at Funshines unconscious body and said ‘You are my little yellow bear now!’ before laughing manically ‘Muahahahahaha’. He returned the next morning to see if the bear would be more cooperative. He opened the cage and Funshine began to leave slowly and take up position beside Calpain as they both walked back to the training grounds. The bear could smell pheromones of a nearby female. He ventured from Calpains side for a few seconds to approach the female. She began petting the bear, while scratching his ear she said ‘I am Princess, what’s your na…’ before she could finish her sentence, Calpain had intervened with a strike with his stick before saying ‘You are MINE. My little yellow bear!’ He threw a net over the bear and dragged him to a nearby barn. Several men held Funshine down, separating his legs. Calpain took his hot branding iron from the furnace, walked over to the bear and said ‘With the sun on your tummy, and a smile on your face. You are ready for a party, any time, any place!’ before jabbing it into the bears stomach.

Funshine let out a loud ‘RAWR!’ He resisted the restraints of his captors and proceeded to maul two of them before running as fast as he could out of the campsite and into the nearest forested area. He could hear the hunting party gaining on him with Calpain leading the way. He noticed a large area that seemed to have a lot of rubble. He hoped that Calpains love for rocks would distract him from pursuing the bear. As predicted he was distracted by a unique rock that glistened in the sunlight. As he approached it from behind, Funshine was glaring down at him from the mountain side. He nudged the rock with his body to give it some momentum. It gathered a lot of pace before slamming into Calpain, jamming him between the two rocks, where he would ultimately die. It was a similar but much more dishonorable death than his mother who also died from a rock related accident....

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Joli was a long time friend of the Funshine 'family' line, she quietly entered the area where the speaker was telling the tale and took a seat with her bottle of wine and half full wine glass slowly sipping as she intently listened and enjoyed the story she had heard so many times.

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BlackPanther was walking along the streets of Seattle, He overheard a bear talking about his adventures in the past and decided to light a fire for all to sit around, He had just bought four bottles of whiskey and ten packs of marshmallows. He knew Funshine like a drink from time to time So he bought along a bottle of Vodka just for him. You could tell Funshine was enthusiastic about what he had done in the past because of how clear his description of the rocks falling on Calpain and his smile when he talk about it. It was like watching a child open their first Christmas present. His eyes lite up and his fur stood high. This definately wasn't a bear to mess with especially near any rocks.
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With Calpain out of the picture, Funshine decided to double back on his tracks as the hunting party were likely unaware of the death of their leader and were still on the hunt. As he returned to the campsite, the other victims emerged from their tents. Eventually after several seconds of gossiping about the fate of their abuser, a slow clap began and eventually lead to an eruption of cheers and applause for Funshine as an impromptu guard of honor had formed for him. His little feet squished in the mud with every step he made. As he approached his old cage, he got an all too familiar scent. He turned his had as fast as he could. It was the scent of the pheromones from the attractive woman called Princess that he was briefly acquainted with. She walked slowly up to Funshine with a smile and her face and said ‘Remember me? I am Princess. I am YOUR Princess and you are MY fluffy yellow bear’ before ruffling his ears. Funshine followed Princess walking side by side back through the guard of honor and headed to the top of the hill to observe the sunset on a momentous occasion.

The sun had risen, the light forcing them to wake up. As Calpain was their captors, his death meant that they were no longer tied down. They walked along the deserted roadside, heading towards the city. As they reached the outskirts of the city they noticed a series of flyers on every tree and sign post they passed. Princess finally stopped to see what it said. The flyer said ‘MichaelScott Paper Company – Administrative Assistant Wanted’. She couldn’t believe her luck, they hadn’t even reached the city and she already had a potential job lined up. Princess began talking to Funshine about the possibilities for their future if she could get this job. As they finally entered the center of the city, they were approaching the paper company for Princess’ job interview. She was waiting for the receptionist to tell her when the interviewer was ready for her. A 5’7 American Irish man dressed in the finest womans suit that money could buy approached her and as they shook hands, Princess said ‘Eww it’s so wet’. MichaelScott responded ‘That’s what she said’ before laughing hysterically. He led her back to the interview room and told her to take a seat. As she sat down she said ‘Ouch this is so hard.’ MichaelScott responded ‘That’s what she said’. Princess rolled her eyes as her patience was wearing thin. He handed Princess a general information sheet to complete. She said ‘This is too much, I don’t think I can handle this’. To which MichaelScott responded ‘That’s what she said’. He shook her hand once more and said ‘Come back tomorrow to find out if you got the job or not.’....

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