MacKayla sat with her back against a brick wall. She wasn't the soap box kind of girl. She didn't need the attention of millions to make her feel important nor did she need to stand above anyone to be seen or heard. Noticing the looks that she was getting she smiled politely and let them wander off wondering if she was homeless. In reality she wasn't. She had gotten lost into her own thoughts and soon she was speaking to the next person that came along.

"You know when I was younger I used to dream. I used to dream I would grow up beautiful, marry the man of my dreams and live in that white picket fence house. There would be nothing but pure bliss. Childhood dreams where nothing bad could ever touch you. I was running away of course from the arguments my parents had. Money of all things seemed to be something to always be fighting about. I never understood it then.

As I grew into my teens I wished my parents would go away. They seemed to be a constant source of my misery. I couldn't go out. I couldn't see the world and travel. I had to remain close to home. Close to them. As if they were scared I was going to break my wings. Me? I thought I was invincible. Nothing could scare me and I was certainly never scared of anything I wanted to do.

As an adult... Well.. adulthood changed everything."

Getting the far off look of someone who was remembering tragic things as she wiped at her eyes. There was something there that could hardly be held back any further. Her grief was too painful to conceal for much longer.

"Well I got my teenager wish when I grew into adulthood. My mother and father were walking home one night when an automobile happened to hit them. Perhaps it was too dark. Maybe the driver just couldn't see them in their party outfits. One will never truly know unless we were there but the realization that my teen wish came true was such a blow.

At the same time it was an inspiration. If those wishes could come true, what else could I put my mind to that would also come true. Could I become a president? Perhaps the first woman to do something different among those I care about? What about finding that perfect spouse? The one that could understand the work I do and be there for the ups and the downs. This life we have chosen is not easy but does this mean we stop wishing and dreaming of better things?"

Staring straight at the person in front of her she mumbled a little bit. Faltering her words under the weight of them.

"Did you stop dreaming for a better tomorrow for yourself? Did you stop wishing for it?"

A wish for better tomorrow is positive. However, when an individual has pledge their life for the Mafiosi. It's unsure.  

I to wish for a better tomorrow...

Wish... no I would not wish to stop dreaming for a better tomorrow. I am always striving towards my goals. Anyone can wish for a better tomorrow though. Hell anyone can say it. But ultimately it's up to you and fate to take action. I throw the word fate in there. Not to sound cliche, but simply because no matter what action we take to achieve out goals, life throws ya a curve ball. But how you react to those speed bumps on the highway we call life, determines whether you actually get to see that better tomorrow or not.

Star steepled her hands under her chin, pondering the question posed to her by MacKayla. As a young child, she too had grown up full of dreams and hopes for a better world. The death of her father and subsequently her mother had taught her a lot about dreams and how they changed so quickly. Her childhood has still been filled with love, but the expectations placed on her had changed in the course of a year and by the age of 18, she had found herself on a course that deviated sharply from her dreams. 

College had disillusioned her, the messages playing round and round that she was being trained to become a housewife and any work she did would only serve to allow her to meet her future husband. As such, many of the classes had focused strongly on sewing, baking, and household skills which she had already learned living with her aunts. It had left her with a bitter taste and a desire for freedom that the world wasn't simply going to grant her. After leaving college, she had wandered a bit before being pulled into a world steeped in secrets, where danger lurked around every corner. She had proven herself to be quite adept at handling what this new world had to offer but MacKayla's question had given her pause. 

Was there more she could, nee, should be aiming for? Was there really a place for a young woman such as she that didn't involve sex or movies or even, dare she say it, crime? That thought, however, gave her pause again. It was true that she was a criminal by virtue of being in the mafia and yet, wasn't it also true that she did her best to help care for her community as well? It was that though that finally allowed her to answer the question posed by MacKayla.

"I never stopped dreaming for a better tomorrow, I just had to figure out what that tomorrow was going to look like. It sure as hell didn't match up with my childhood expectations but then again, I think that every one of us goes through some sort of disillusionment when we realize that what we thought we were going to be and what we became are different. I had to choose to be okay with that and I think that's what keeps me going. That's what keeps me hopeful for something new and better than what's there now."