I want to share some harsh truths with our newer members in this thing of ours. Something that I always strive to do when my family walks these streets is try and engage with the fresh meat on the streets and motivate them, hone their way of thinking and approach to this life.

So, this is for the young, the naive, the uncertain or confused.

Let me ask you, have you achieved what you expected to by this time?

You've not? Well you probably need to get noticed then. It's easy enough to fall off the boat, find a crew with some permanent work and bring in some coin. But is that all you really want to do? When finding a new place to work, it's always good to be open with your leader. Let them know what you want to achieve, then they'll know you have ambition. Having ambition means you don't want to get bored, so they should know that. 

But it's not just having people know you want to do something with yourself, you've also go to be worthy of it. You've got to stand out.

Do you think you know what goes on behind closed doors?

If you don't get smart to the way things work, how decisions are made, then you'll flounder. You'll just be fodder for the next war. A casualty, or statistic. "Rest in peace to the fallen" and all that.

If we're all honest, that's how it works. There is an order to which crew members are assigned bodyguards, as they are pricey. If a crew had unlimited funds, sure, they would make an effort to protect all their members and outfit them with the highest number of goombas possible to keep them alive. 

Sadly, that's not the way it works, there is a priority. That means you need to become that priority. Otherwise, you'll just end up being an unprotected target during a war, a sitting duck. Those sitting ducks are indirectly used to void the protection on opposing targets by shooting at you.

Yes, you.

So how do you become that priority?

Your crew leader, recruiter, those with experience in this life or whoever you report into, can only do so much. They will provide the support and materials needed to get you to a place where you have a good understanding of the world and can make some coin.

But there are also those who won't be as noble. You could be taken in simply to make up the numbers. Maybe you'll fall asleep and a week later, you find your bed has moved to the unlucky end of a training range. Don't be that guy/girl. You need to define yourself and be seen. Then you become a priority. 

If you want to get anywhere near that inner circle, you'll need to take a few steps yourself. First step, learn to shoot. Good shooters are quite often always a priority. For everything else, hopefully the below list will help you with the rest of those steps.

1. Be the guy you'd want working for you. You ever make it to the top, make sure you can live the standards you expect.
2. Stop letting your anger/pride/frustrations ruin what you could be. When you're getting a bollocking because you fucked up, listen.
3. Don't let people know who your friends are. The more people know who your connections are, the greater risk to them and you.
4. Hold your tongue and really think before you open your mouth. The less you give away about your personality the better. The more people know about you, the weaker it makes you.
5. Pissed as a fart? Great, but keep it behind closed doors.
6. Ask the right questions, at the right time. In tense situations, you'll be told what you need to know. Use your questions to challenge and contribute to a way of thinking, not to feed your curiosity. 
7. Approach people in the right way. It might seem stupid to you, but unless told otherwise, approach with respect and consideration for the rank.
8. Trust only those who have put trust in you. This is a tricky one, but generally, make sure the people you're talking to are the ones worth dying for. 
9. Don't reveal all your secrets.
10. ...
11. ...
12. ...

I've spoken to you today to try and help stave off that feeling that you just don't belong here, that you're getting nowhere and nothing is happening. Time and patience are your greatest friends. You need to get to that point where you've become wise, wise as to the hows, the who's, the whys and the whats. 

And be sure to define yourself, what you want, and what you need to do to get it. 

Tara stepped forward, then dropped back, seemingly questioning whether to share her thinking. Eventually she stepped forward and spoke.

I think that this is largely good advice for those arriving on our shores looking to make their way in the world. I do have a small quibble, though.

I absolutely agree with the idea that one should "hold your tongue and really think before you open your mouth"; thinking before speaking is one of the best things that both newcomers and veterans can practice as they make their way through our society.

I would, however, disagree with the follow up points that  "The less you give away about your personality the better." and  "The more people know about you, the weaker it makes you." 

For the former point regarding "The less you give away about your personality the better", I agree that it would be ridiculous to meet someone for the first time and start sharing your entire life story, acting around them the way you'd act around your best friend. Immediately interacting with your crewleader, RHM, LHM, or anyone in a position in authority as if they're your best pal seems like a bad move, in that you don't take things seriously. But surely we're not supposed to silently make our way through the world, suppressing our nature at all times? I would instead advise newcomers to build relationships carefully, to let them develop organically without forcing anything, and to be careful who you reveal your true self to.

Similarly to the second point that "The more people know about you, the weaker it makes you", it seems like the major point is to caution others against sharing themselves. Taken to an extreme, this is obviously a dangerous thing. Our society is not a social club, and revealing your true self is certainly exposing vulnerability. But without this vulnerability, we also fail to build strong bonds with each other.

By sharing our personality over time, by allowing people to learn about you the way we learn about them, all bonds are strengthened. It is these bonds, I would argue, that result in generations returning time and time again to this thing of ours. 

I admit that this is somewhat up to a difference of opinion; those more purely Machiavellian would disagree with me- but perhaps this comes down to style and personal preference. 

Ralph slipped from the shadows, placing his hat back onto his head. Listening to JackMezzo reveal some tough truths about the life he, and Ralph, lead had Ralph thinking.

"So here's a thought, if'n you've a mind to be hearing me out. I think yer point about holding yer tongue is spot on. However, I'm thinkin' that yer comment about people knowing about yeh making yeh weak is a not truely the whole of it. In fact, I'll be takin' that a step farther and sayin' that people knowin', or rather, thinkin' they be knowin' how you'll jump when the manure hits the windmill could be makin' yeh stronger so.

Consider, if yeh will, this. if I have a reputation for being a laid back, willing to talk fella, I can be usin' that to protect myself. Because sure, some people may think to take advantage of me, but nothing says i have to be remainin' as you saw me the last, now do I?

Point I be making is that while yeh may think i'm going to let things go, because that is what I did in the past, nothin' says "oh, now i've done this once, I have to be doin' it this way going forward." I can be usin' that attitude that i've been showing yeh to lead yeh right where I be wantin' yeh to go. So perhaps it's less that "the less people be knowin' about yeh, the better" and more that yeh should only be showin' people what yeh want them to see, so that yeh can be usin' their "knowin'" of yeh to pretoct yerself."

Tara, Ralph, so pleased you came out here today to offer your thoughts.

I think the point you've both picked up on could do with some clarification, or rewording. I drafted this approach from my own personal lessons and experiences, so can understand where some don't fit with others, or the point isn't as easily interpreted. 

Hold your tongue and really think before you open your mouth. The less you give away about your personality the better. The more people know about you, the weaker it makes you.

My rational behind this one is that it is always a good idea to watch and listen. The coffee shops in particular are a prime example of a location a person could easily lower their guard and speak freely, without considering it could impact their working life outside there, on the streets. By watching and listening to others chat idly, you can build a very clear picture of their mentality, decision making processes, conflict resolution ability, if they are provocative, passive, aggressive, defensive. All information which can be harvested and used to put together a profile or impression of that person. Whether that profile is accurate or not, once it is out there, you have very little control over the decisions it influences.

It is very difficult to break it down or stop it transferring into how people approach and conduct business with you out here on the streets. 

Your points on talking with friends, I agree, once you are in a safe environment then it is much more acceptable and understanding that individuals are able to let themselves go a little. It's what builds stronger bonds and allows for a closer community.

Meredith had happened across Jack and was listening intently. A smile played on her lips as she paid close attention. Turning her attention to the one thing that caught hers the most she waited until it was quiet before she spoke up.

"I do have to sort of nit pick here Jack, and I hope you do not mind too terribly.  However, you can make yourself a priority without training that pesky gun of yours. You can stand out in various other actions to your leader. You just need to take initiative and roll up those sleeves of yours.

If you can see people others normally can't, you are a great asset during war times even without a gun. To be able to see all those pretty little targets hiding in the bushes waiting to pounce can be quite handy. And that isn't even mentioning during peace and stability time, where you could be behind the Headquarter doors planning things to keep your fellow colleagues attention. To bring about something that is fun and fresh.

To be fair there are so many other possibilities to stand out to your leader then just your gun skills. At least that is what I think."

Ghost listens to what Jack shared and wanted to share his own thoughts.

Jack, I get what you're saying about wanting to stand out.  I honestly do.  But what your list of points is specifically a list of points that would make a person fade into the background and be discontent about their own position.  You're recommending that people don't engage when someone's on their temper or that you prioritize listening over talking.   Your intent of what you want to say is on point, but the method you're suggesting is easily misinterpreted.

I'll take the opportunity to provide my opinions regarding your list.

1. Be the guy you'd want working for you. This is simply the golden rule.  Nothing else to be said here.
2. Stop letting your anger/pride/frustrations ruin what you could be. People aren't going to be robots.  What I'd recommend is something similar to: "Communicate with your family and make sure you understand each other's perspective".  Reason being, if the family is teaching you, then you should be able to learn the 'why's' as well.  If a little teaching steps on your pride or someone does something that offends you, then make sure that you clear up those issues with the person.  If you're unhappy over the everyday, you won't be able to manage the serious situations that will occur later.
3. Don't let people know who your friends are. I understand this point, but I disagree with the meaning behind it.  "Your 'friends' are your family.  Period."  From a certain perspective, you could say that you have acquaintances in other cities.  Your grandfathers' buddy's child may be an acquaintance, but he's not a friend.  It doesn't necessarily work that way, but people are very quick to turn acquaintances into friends and then start acting against their family for their 'friend's' sake.  I don't need to tell you about what happens when someone breaks omerta.
4. Hold your tongue and really think before you open your mouth. I agree with this statement, but it is imperative for someone to actually communicate in some fashion with their leaders.  Hiding your personality is actually the best way to end up in obscurity because no one knows who you are.  You can provide an opinion and have a personality.  If you just stay quiet to hide your flaws, then how will you ever grow?
5. Pissed as a fart? Great, but keep it behind closed doors.  I would suggest that you talk to your family about things that make you unhappy.  Alot of time, people get angry about issues that have no bearing whatsoever.  For example, people lose their minds and brand their suits with quotes about their pickpocketing status.  The real way to progress, is to understand when to get angry and when not to.  "Responding to situations appropriately (per the social norms) is truly important to show you're ready for additional responsibility."
6. Ask the right questions, at the right time. In tense situations, you'll be told what you need to know. Use your questions to challenge and contribute to a way of thinking, not to feed your curiosity.  Again, if you're asking questions in a tense situation, you're making a mistake. If you're not jumping when your family asks you to jump, then why are you in that family in the first place?  If you don't trust your family and build a rapport to support that trust, then you're asking for whatever results you get.  "If you actually approach your family and build that rapport, you'll get opportunities to contribute and earn the responsibilities that you'd be looking for."
7. Approach people in the right way. No caveats here.  Do this.  It reflects poorly on you and your family when you don't.
8. Trust only those who have put trust in you. This is your family.  Period.  If you disagree, then you haven't taken the time to build the relationship necessary.  If your family drops the ball on their end of building trust with you, you better think long and hard about whether its appropriate for you to act out against your family as a result.  Don't forget that this thing of ours has eyes everywhere, and people who burn down their own families or make massive mistakes won't be forgotten easily.  They may get opportunities, but there will always be people who wonder if they're truly engaged.  This is an easy way to hurt yourself and your future prospects by making the wrong choices.

Honestly, this even if you follow all of the above, its only the starting point.  If you want to really proceed, you need to prove your worth.  If you don't know what that means, then you need to engage with your family to find out what their expectations are.  This isn't something as simple as "all of our expectations are in the crew rules".  It's a means of teaching people around you to be exceptional at what they do.  It should be every leader's challenge (CL/RH/LH, and their other designees) to provide the structure around their crew to get people up to speed.  A couple HQ discussions don't cut it, but if you really want to know, make sure you ask.

Well spoken, Ghost. I'll just say it really inspires me to see people still willing to make the effort to actually listen to what others have got to say, and then go as far as to build on it and feed back.

So, regarding your comments.

You're right pm the fading comment, when I read all these combined 'advice' points it looks like I'm describing how to be a recluse. A lot of the comments I've made have been pulled from my own personal approach, and that of my family in the past. It may be that following this advice would get you so far, but will it get you far enough, in the most efficient manner? It worked for me, but I've also got years of experience in the game. This isn't my first rodeo, and I may have taken the long path to get there with the approach I've detailed. 

There are also some points which flow much better with a lot of the engagement activities and structure I work with. So for example, a member who is working silently and patiently will be presented to the chance to stand out, and therefor open that door to speak more freely within the operation. 

2. "Communicate with your family and make sure you understand each other's perspective"

That, and the comments on pride, are a much better way of putting it. Though I would still want to draw focus to keeping your emotions in check, that should form part of your wider approach to the world, and not just here. 

3. "Your 'friends' are your family.  Period."

Again, agree. From the perspective I presented it, it seems like I'm advocating having cards up your sleeve. Though I feel like you circled my point a little bit, the message is that talking about your extensive loyalty to a guy who is dead in the ground and has kin picking up his torch is a dangerous game.

4. Hold your tongue and really think before you open your mouth. 

<font color="#99CC99">Hiding your flaws is the real message here, and as mentioned before, it's one of the ones I personally 'complete' by offering other methods to get in touch and stand out. As they are not fully featured here, it probably doesn't have the same effect.</font>

5. Pissed as a fart? Great, but keep it behind closed doors.

Slight misunderstanding with the wording on this one. Where I come from, pissed normally means drunk. Though not applicable to this one, your comments are still valid by your interpretation of it.

6. Ask the right questions, at the right time. In tense situations, you'll be told what you need to know. Use your questions to challenge and contribute to a way of thinking, not to feed your curiosity.

"If you actually approach your family and build that rapport, you'll get opportunities to contribute and earn the responsibilities that you'd be looking for."

I'm not sure I follow your reasoning for challenging this one? Though again, your comments are valid and the advice you present is solid, I'm not sure why how I worded it wouldn't still stand?

8. Trust only those who have put trust in you.

<font color="#99CC99">This should mention family much more, as you do. However looking back on it, it feels to me that's advice I'd give to a new crew leader, maybe worded a bit better.</font>

<font color="#99CC99">Again Ghost, thanks. This isn't a one man show and as you've helped point out, my approach breeds a different type of advice than another persons would. It's a great improvement to something which otherwise would not have been if you hadn't come out and taken the time to offer your thoughts. And you're just one person, so many others here who might have insight or input to expand on this.</font>

<font color="#99CC99">This information can provide a great starting point, with correct leader engagement and working this into the recruitment process, we're giving our new blood a solid foundation to build on. </font>

Meredith you're right on the value comments, though I would always expect a crew to protect their shooters first and foremost. Maybe a banker, too. Though there are valuable roles outside of that, I think they fall slightly outside the list of priorities.