"MHMM!"  Jes mumbled emphatically, a dot of caramel on the tip of her nose as she chewed an impolitely large bite of gelato, "This is the best day EVER." 

She was awkwardly quiet for a moment... as if she couldn't decide what came next. This was normally the part where you made conversation, asked people about themselves and what not. But if you asked, then you automatically opened yourself up to be asked back in return. It was like one of those unwritten laws of life. And Jes didn't want Roger to know the truth about her. She was so tired of the patronizing smiles everyone gave her. Even Giani, with his genuine care and concern, looked at her like something to pity and protect... and indulge because she was ill.  They all treated her like a child, or like a fragile piece of crystal... like she was the resident charity case... who would be so pretty if she just wasn't so broken. Roger was the first person in years who looked at her like she was real. Who smiled because he enjoyed her company, not because she made him sad. She wanted so badly to remember that look for the rest of her life. She wasn't ready to watch the pity and disappointment and confused repulsion creep into his eyes. 

'Fill up the whole and the noise can't come out', she thought silently to herself, taking another large bite of ice cream to avoid having to talk. Glancing over at the counter she noticed Giani watching them carefully with an expression of guarded concern, and she twisted quickly to look out the window instead. She knew he'd said something to Roger. She wondered how long it would take before he couldn't stand it any longer. Shooting a sad smile over the top of her gelato, she tried to shake the creeping feeling of impending heartache. 

"Giani's the best. He's like an ice cream chef, or something. I've never met anyone who puts the flavours together like he does. It's  soooo gooood. It's like... orgasmic!" She giggled, play-shivering in her seat as smirked suggestively. "So... uh... What are your plans for the night?" She asked matter-of-factly around another huge bite of delicious, chewy caramel.

Roger chuckled as Jessica went back to being silly. He was certainly sensing something, but regardless of what it was her company was more than welcomed. Her smile brightened even his darkest thoughts and her laughter tickled at his very core. He took a large bite of the pistachio from the cup Giani had given him special, and melted into his seat.

"Dio mio, Giani. This is possibly tha best gelato I've had since I've come ta Los Angeles." He looked down to Jess and chuckled along with her. "Honestly, I'll probably go back home an' have a few drinks, smoke a cigar, an' maybe have a few of tha fellas ova for a card game. Why, ya wanna come wit'?" He smirked, his lip curling up wickedly on his left...

Jes froze mid-bite. What a beautifully wicked little smile. It took her breath away. The look on her face one of quaint confusion more than shock or insult. She genuinely looked as if she thought he might be joking. Would he really take her home? And to meet his friends to boot? Maybe this man really was as crazy as her. "Are you... Well, I... I mean... I think..." Her gelato started to slide off the cone as she tried to form a single, coherent thought. 

Inside her head, a tiny voice was screaming "YEEEEEEEESSSSSS!" But Jes knew that even if she did, and even if the little bellhop didn't call Patton or her father, she'd still have to wake up and go back to real life in the morning. And staring into his bright, hazel eyes across the table, Jes wasn't sure if that would be better or worse than just walking away now. Could she really sit with that heavy knowing all night? Could she really go back to Patton after all of this and go through with it? Well, at least she'd have one last really happy story. 

Jes' eyes went wide, like a lightbulb came on... as if something had clicked in her brain. Even despite the bittersweet truth of it, she was really happy. She felt it in the deepest part of her, in the marrow of her bones and the hollow of her soul; warm and bright like the sunlight that was breaking through the clouds and melting her leaning tower of gelato. She was happy. 

Jes' bottom lip trembled a little as she turned away from him to look out the window. How cruel did her life have to be that now she would feel happy? A single tear slid silently down her cheek as the gelato melted in little rivulets down her delicate fingers.

Roger perked his brow, reaching over and taking her hand. "Jess, doll... Ya gonna be okay?" He rubbed the ridges of her knuckles. "If it's so bad, ya ain't gotta come ta my place. I can jus' drop ya off somewhere if ya'd like." He smiled at her.

They were silent for a bit, both of their gelatos melting, Giani staring on with faint, shallow breaths awaiting what would happen next like a drama on stage for all to see, or one of the new picture films. It was certainly a romantic tragedy playing out in front of the man, tears streaming down his face. You could tell all he wanted was for Jessica to truly be free and happy.

"Go on girl! Be happy, il mio amore. I like him!" the man called, urging her on through blurry vision.

Roger tried to hide a chuckle at Giani's words, his eyes playing over every bit of Jessica's features...

"Ya know, if there's somethin' botherin' ya... I can make it go away." He smiled trying to comfort her pained, happy look. He could tell something was weighing heavy on her mind and he brought his other hand up to hold her one in his two.

"Is it somethin' at home? Maybe a boyfriend? Husband? Ya parents? Trust me, I undastand parents... Mia famiglia had a fallin' out, it's what brought me here."

He squeezed her hand tight, letting her know he was here, and he was truly invested in getting to know her...

Jes chuckled lightly and sighed heavily. The kind of weighted sigh someone gives when they have something to confess.  "You're crazy, you know that... taking me home after... what? a few hours..." she snerked in that bittersweet kind of way that she had. "Almost as crazy as I am." 

She sniffled a little and Giani instinctually waddled over with napkins like a protective mother hen. She smiled at him as best she could, nodding in silent gratitude as she wiped her eyes and nose. "What am I supposed to say?"  She glanced between the two men, but Giani shook his head and cut out double time.  "It's not you it's me? " Jes rolled her eyes,  "That sounds so lame. But it's true. It is me. And I don't think anybody could make this go away." 

She actually looked a little angry. "How is that you just show up? Out of nowhere, all perfect? It's just not fair. Not today. Not now."  Jessica's face contorted into a pained expression of bitter irony. There was no point in playing pretend anymore. It was over. It had been lovely, and she would treasure it always. But it was over. 

"I didn't let you take me home because I don't live at home, Dom... I... my dad..." she huffed heavily, fighting for the right words to come out,  "I'm on furlough from Patton State Hospital. I come here one day a month as part of the terms of my treatment. My doctors will tell you that I have a melancholic disorder and exhibit emotional fragility, episodic mania, generalized anxiety, suicidal ideations, and an antisocial disregard for social mores." 

Jessica gave up on her ice cream, dumping it upside down in the empty cup from his fancy sample with a frustrated sigh and wiping her hands furiously on the napkins that Giani brought over. Taking off the pretty blue hat he'd bought for her, Jes tucked her rosy ringlets behind her ears. And in the bright sunlight he could actually see the marks left by her ECT treatments. "It's been 5 years since I was allowed home. The doctors say I've shown minimal improvement, and that my brief episodes of lucidity are not enough to warrant further clinical therapies." With a shaky breath, she squeezed his hand lightly before pulling away, "My father has me scheduled for prefrontal lobotomy on Monday. This weekend was supposed to be my last..." she choked up a bit, her voice catching in her throat.  "You... were never supposed to happen." 

Pressing her hand to her mouth she stared out the window at the calming sea, "So, I'd love to go home with you, Dom. Really I would. And I can pray that you would be my one shining memory that sticks. But you have to realize that two days from now, it's entirely likely that I won't even remember my own name. Much less your beautiful face. And even if I did... I won't be me." 

She exhaled softly, unable to drag her eyes to his face. She didn't want to see his expression. She chuckled with caustic sarcasm. "I'm in hell," she said with an almost humorous lilt, "I've just had the single most wonderful day of my life, met the most wonderful man I've ever laid eyes on. I'm finally REALLY truly happy. And it's all gonna disappear in less than 48 hours. I'm in hell."  She laughed softly. It was the story of her life really. 

"So," she finally forced herself to look at him, her green eyes glistening with painful tears,  "Do you still wanna take me home?"

As she looked up to ask her question, she'd notice one simple thing of the look on his face... It was twisted into the most disgusted look that could be had; lips curled, practically snarling, nose scrunched and eyes narrowed.

"Fuck that..." the words made Jessica wince a bit and cower away... She could feel her perfect day shattering around her. Even Giani seemed to weep in the corner just -knowing- what was going to come out of his mouth. The man even began to fizzle into a slight rage, though he held off not to say anything until Roger spoke up...

But he didn't really speak up, only again with a growling, "FUCK that!"

He stood and took the hat from his head, flinging it across the empty room and ripping the tie from around his neck, heavy breaths following once he'd loosened the tight piece. He curled both hands into a fist, his knuckles turning near white, but the words that followed, would shake everyone's thoughts of him in the room...

"Fuck them. I'll kill 'em. I'll shut the whole fuckin' ward down if they lay a GOD DAMNED finger on ya... Ain't nobody gonna say ya ain't perfect." He spun on his heels, slamming both fists down on the table.

"They gotta go through -ME- before they get ta you, doll... So yeah. I'm gonna take ya home, an' ya not gonna go back ta that fuckin' place. Ya don't need ta be there, ya just needed someone that can make ya happy. Well doll, ain't no one better at makin' a woman happy than God damned Ruggiero Domenici Coniglio..."

His hair was a mess around his -extremely- red and angry looking face. "Ya said ya dad scheduled this shit for ya? Well fuck him. I'll kill 'em... If ya want. Or at least make 'em pay for that shit." He grumbled looking as if he could still throw a chair through Giani's window front, the only thing keeping him from doing so being the fact that he had no anger for the man that helped give Jess a slice of happiness.

He turned away from Jess and Giani, moving across the room and pacing as he tried to assuage his anger...

"Calm down Ruggiero, everything's gonna be okay. Ya don't have ta kill anyone..." He took a pointed look at Jessica and added, "...yet."

The look on Roger's face knocked the breath from her lungs. It felt like she'd been punched in the heart... as if her chest would shrivel in on itself and implode. Her one happy moment disintegrated in a single second, scattered around her like ashes as he spoke. Of course, he wouldn't want her broken goods. No one did. Her breath shook in and out as the world around her shrank a little. 

Jes was actually a little afraid of him as he exploded in a fit of rage. She'd seen her dad explode like that... usually right before he beat her or her mother. And yet, a part of her was insanely aroused. Emphasis on the "insane" part. For a moment, she actually believed that she might get away, but she was done fooling herself; tired of playing pretend. If it was time to do something crazy, it would be all-out or not at all. 

"Dom, you don't understand." she whispered up, "I'm a hazard to myself 70% of the time. You can't take care of me," she said softly. "And even if you really wanted to try... even if I let you try... you don't have the legal authority to cancel treatment. You can have all the fucking money in the world, but if my discharge isn't done right I will NEVER  be able to have a normal life... and that is ALL I want. I want to drive. I want a house. I want to have control over my own fucking body. And if we just... what? ... pay people off? run away? MURDER?  ... I'll never have any of that." 

It was a sad truth, but it needed to be said.  "I don't want to spend my whole life running any more than I want to spend my life as a vegetable. And unfortunately, you're neither my father nor my husband. So while I am  FLATTERED... I don't really see how you can make this work. I want to... sweet Christmas Jesus, do I want to. I want to go home with you more than anything I've ever wanted in my LIFE. But then what?"

Roger listened to her words, but he didn't like accepting 'NO' for an answer. Not in these sorts of situations. He didn't care if she said no to him, no to being NEAR him, but he had an issue with someone forcibly institutionalizing someone else... Taking his seat across from her as she finished speaking, he worked up a smile and the redness faded from his face.

"I've dealt with tha hospitals before... Ya see, mio padre would admit mia madre often before she killed herself...before her procedure. I knew I recognized tha mannerisms, doll. I knew somethin' about ya seemed familiar. Ya not crazy though... You're fuckin' sad! An' that can be changed by makin' ya happy... Like today."

He almost looked hurt that she didn't think he could pull off getting her released.

"I know we just met, Jess, but ya don't undastand my line of work. Ya don't know exactly what it is that me an' my boys do... Ya see, I own this part of town."

Giani snickered a bit and popped off, "Yeah, until Mr. Rabbit hears ya say that, amico."

Roger turned and looked at him, "Oh he knows I say it. What's my name, Giani?"

The large man perked a brow, "Ruggiero Coni...gli...Oh!" His words slowed as he said the last name, the translation quickly becoming apparent on his face as a few beads of sweat formed across his forehead.

"Jess, dear...And-and I'm sorry Mr. Coniglio," he looked at the man, bowing his head before turning back to Jessica, "But maybe it's best if you -don't- get involved with this man?"

The look on Giani's face was absolute terror... But Roger smiled at him.

"Giani... Have I done -anything- that was distasteful ta you or ta Jessica? I'm hurt that ya let my reputation frighten ya. I am nothing if not reasonable." He smiled. "But I don't stand for such bullshit as Miss McKenzie's situation. Would you not be on my side for this, Mister Giancarlo? Is it not unfair to the Miss McKenzie that someone else should choose her fate for her?" He looked at Jessica... "Are you truly a hazard to yourself? Or is that just what they have ya convinced of since you were never happy at home?"

He stood and paced around the small parlor. "Because I can change that. I can give ya as normal a life as possible... If ya don't mind me bein', well...bad." As he said the last word he turned and smiled at Jessica. Turns out? They both had secrets...

Jes legitimately felt as if she might faint. Really faint. Not that damsel in distress shit. Fanning her face lightly, she tried to steady the spinning her racing thoughts created in her mind. Reaching down she pinched the ever-loving SHIT out of the soft skin on her inner arm... adding yet another bruise to the small line of thumbprints.  It still hurt. That was a good sign. Breathing slowly, deliberately, she counted softly under her breath until her breaths came normally.  "H...how bad?" She asked hesitantly, shooting Giani an almost apologetic look. 

"Am I really a hazard to myself?"  she parrotted, clearing her throat softly as she struggled to think reasonably... as much as that were possible. It seemed like a silly question. One she'd never really thought to ask herself. Of course she was. She hurt herself... but why? Wasn't it always because of her surroundings? If she had that life she always dreamed of, would she still feel that urge? She couldn't say. But... it might be worth finding out. What was the worst that could happen? She'd either end up happy or back in the nut house or dead... and those last two seemed like inevitabilities at this point. So why not give it a shot? 

Heh. She chuckled lightly, "I mean... yeah. I've uh... been... like... your mom. I mean, I really tried. But the doctors call it 'maladaptive coping'. So... I mean... I guess it's responsive... maybe. I mean... if I didn't have a reason I probably wouldn't. Right?" Jessica looked at Giancarlo to be her voice of reason, but he simply shrugged lightly. "You're always happy here, Dolcezza. I can't say." 

Tilting her head to the side in a distinctly avian way, Jes thought about that statement.  "You're right. But... I don't ever think about hurting myself while I'm here," she said with an air of discovery; as if it were the first time the thought had occurred to her. Still speaking to Giani, Jes finally worked up the courage to ask the one question she really wanted answered. "Giani, you... seem to know more about this than I do. If you had only two options, would you put me under Dr. Abernathy's knife or in Mr. Coniglio's home?" 

The man pursed his lips as he thought, his brows knitting together. She knew that her nurses would say she was acting dramatically, exhibiting histrionic features, but as far as she was concerned - at this moment - those were her only two options. With a heavy sigh, Giani shrugged and motioned at Roger with an ice cream scoop. "I only know him by reputation," he sucked his teeth with a surly pout, "but I've never heard of him mistreating a woman, or holding one of his men's professional skirts against their will. I... I... I..."  Giancarlo finally gave a resigned sigh, "I think that, if he's willing to try, maybe you should, too. Just remember... once you get in over your head, there is no getting out." 

Turning his gaze on Roger he continued, "And remember, you've only just met. Things may be fine now, but when things get rough... you have to face the facts that she won't always be happy. She can't. What then?" 

Jes nodded softly. He was right. But it was worth a shot. Even if she ended up dead, she'd rather die herself than some mindless, emotionless zombie. Staring out the window, she was quiet for a long while before she sighed with a slow nod. 

"Okay," she said softly, turning to Roger with a shrug and a cautiously optimistic smile, "Okay."

Roger turned to Giani as he asked his question... "It's a proven fact ya can't be happy every day. Ya find ways ta make due an' deal with it. I'll find ways ta help her through it. Even if it means I take her ta watch tha storms roll in ta remind 'er of today." He smirked. It was cheesy, but everyone there knew it meant he wouldn't give up.

His smile was a mile wide, however, with Giani's approval. Hopping up happily, Roger took a few steps over to his hat on the floor and scooped it up, placing it on his head. With a smirk, he pulled his wallet out and made his way to Giani. "I know ya won't accept tha money, but if Mr. Rabbit can ever help ya... This is how ya reach me."

Roger grabbed the large man and kissed him on the cheeks. "Ya made me a proud man today, Giani. It would be my pleasure ta do business wit' ya an' offer ya my protection." That smile though! "On tha house."

He nodded to the man and shook his hand. "Ya done me a great service today, an' a Coniglio always returns what's owed."

Giani stopped for a minute and pulled Roger closer... "Gino Coniglio... He's your dad, isn't he?"

Roger tensed a bit, but Giani shook his head. "Your a fine boy, Ruggiero. Fuck that man and what he did to you. I hope you take his place one day. It should have clicked earlier, and I apologize, but I'm glad you're nothing like that miserable old bastardo."

Roger chuckled and shook Giani's hand more and then turned to Jessica. "Shall we leave, then, Doll? I'll take you to pick up your things..."

"Okay," Jes repeated, nodding softly as if she were convincing herself. Picking up her pretty blue hat she slid out of her window seat and moved toward the door. Roger was quick to her side, a gentle hand guiding her lower back as he held the door open for her. Jes smiled nervously as he opened the passenger side door, and guided her tenderly into the seat. Part of her wondered if he wasn't projecting his feelings about his mother onto her situation, but if it kept her from more ECT and fever therapy... or worse, she wasn't sure she really cared. 

As he slid into the car next to her, she blushed a little, "Are you sure about this, Roger?" Her eyes met his gaze with a hopeful twinkle, "I mean we only just met. I won't hold it against you if you change your mind. Really." Her smile was soft and genuine, "Just be honest with me about it." 

Roger was quiet as he looked for an opening in the traffic, "You never did answer my question, you know. How bad?"