Mama always said to keep a man you have to feed him right. As far as I can remember, the table was always full at each and every meal. Mama cooked form sunrise 'til sundown and she taught me everything I know from cracking an egg to a big ass barbecue! Now these I loved, it was the only time our family worked as a one, getting that big ol' hog over the pit, we'd joke on how THAT pig wouldn't fly...we'd laugh and laugh...but I'm getting away from the story here.

Anyway, as I said, mama taught me everything. We'd both cook up a storm and she'd say..."Betty, taste everything dear, make damn sure everything is perfect before servin', you know how your daddy gets". I'd chuckle as she mumbled "that fucking bug bugger" under her breath, convinced I couldn't hear her. Don't ask me what it meant, I never dared to question her when she was in such a mood. I obeyed my mama, I cooked, tasted and savoured every successful dish and as the years went on, so did my dress size.

I know what you're thinking, she'll be single for the rest of her life. WRONG guys and dolls, this chikadee got the finest man in town. His name was Hank, Hank 'The Crank' Marino. He was tall , dark and handsome with an ass that just wouldn't quit. Darlin's, what a wedding night I had! Capo for the finest family in New Orleans, he was a mean son of a bitch...not to me, of course. He would come home smelling of sweat and blood and be as sweet as can be to his Bets. He was my biggest fan, loved my cooking and one night, we decided to combine both our strengths. Hank fronted my first bakery...'Bettys Bonbons'.

I can remember opening day...standing outside admiring the freshly painted sign, Hank slapped my behind and said... "Well done, love"...flashing his pearly white teeth against his smile and proudly hugged his big Bets. Working night and day, soon my bakery was the talk of the town and so was my walk. The jiggle of my perfect voluptuous bosom made men stare, women whisper and children laughing and giggling as they screamed "boom boom" with mischievous delight as they ran past me. I was soon known as BoomBoomBetty, New Orleans big and beautiful broad. I didn't mind really, I kind of liked it. I'm getting off track again.

Back to hubby dearest. You know how it is gals, you work your ass off to make it in this world of ours, trusting everything is fine. Let me give you a piece of advice my dears and go home on a whim once in a while, you may just find out nothing is what it seems.

One night, my stockings ripped and home I went, and what did I find, you ask? You guessed it babes, my man in bed with a skinny bitch. They didn't see me, of course, the bedroom door stood ajar only a few inches as I listened to their ooo's and ahhh's, frozen there long enough for my mind to blow a fuse. The fucking bug buggers! Too busy doing their deed, they never noticed me so I left as quietly as I came in.

I walked back to the bakery, slowly at first, playing the image of what I had just seen over and over in my mind, letting the realism set in. Soon, my pace quickened and I concentrated the cadence of my heals echoeing against the alley walls. Staring dead ahead, a smile crept on my face as my shoulders straightened and chin lifted.

Yes, I knew what to do.

Remember when I said Hank and I combined both strengths? Well, my bakery served delicious goods to the local patrons but also delicious goods to Hanks business 'associates'. I made anything from chocolate chip cookies laced with arsenic to a bottle of booze hidden in a birthday cake. Whatever he wanted, I delivered. Now back at the bakery, I stood in front of my work table as I stared at the shelving on the other side, letting the vast selection of possibilities inspire me. Once ready, I turned to the record player in the corner, cranked her up and got to work. That night, Glen Miller lead me into what would turn out to be my best creation yet.

The next day, after a fantastic breakfast and a free delivery to a certain blond air head, I was free to start my life over again. A friend of a friend of a friend introduced me to Derek, the sexiest fat man alive and here I am. Who knows, I may just open up another bakery soon...my SPECIAL bakery.

SINGERROURKE smiles as he listened to BoomBooms story.

Well if you do get another bakery you little bed bugger, be sure to inform me where it is. I enjoy Cake everynow and then.

K gulps his whikey while looking at BoomBoomBetty.

Nice story... I may drop in some time if it opens.

In all fairness to Derek, he too has an ass that just won’t quit, commonly referred to by the masses as Craig, dipper extraordinaire.

Bets pulls out a handkerchief filled with her prize winning chocolat fudge candy and passes them out.

Here you go, gents, a little taste of what I can do. I'm looking at properties as we speak, 'Bettys Bonbons' will rise again. Oh, and Mr SINGERROURKE, that's BUG buggers!

She walks away giggling at his obvious mistake.

SINGERROURKE blushes and eats the little bonbon. With his mouthful he talks to BoomBoomBetty.

First of all these are really quite delecious. Secondly Im sorry about the little mishap it wont happen again ma'am.

SINGERROURKE finishes the bon bon then takes ollys away and eats hers too.

She swiftly waves her hand and winks at SINGERROURKE.

Ah, don't worry about it, I know what you meant and no hard feelings. Please call me Bets and this if for you...

She empties the rest of the candy into SINGERROURKES hand, taking two away for Olly and hands them to her.

There's plenty more where that came from.

NAZ stopes dipping bins for just a moment while he overhears Bets say food/deserts and could not resist. I can always use a few more pounds.

Bets do you have anything that could make me gain about 100 plus pounds? I have dipped and dipped and dipped some more and stay right at about 700 lbs I need more to catch up to Derek and Craig, Dipper Extraordinaire and I'm not even close yet. I heard you have the best bakery in the world. If not can I at least have the first dip in your bins when the shop opens?

NAZ smelling like fresh day old newspapers and slop from the near by bins and awaits as the aroma fills the immediate area.

Oh no, no no...( forgive me, but my translator is not working properly )

Naz...none of my men will have to worry about gaining pounds, I'll make sure of it. I will have pies...lots of pies...apple, strawberry, pecan...along with french vanilla cake...chocolate and double chocolate cake...and candies? Ohh...and every night, I'll dump the left overs in my bin, NOT the 'SPECIAL' bin of course but the one I keep close to my heart.

( Bets strives to keep herself under controll, knowing Craig will be near by, dipping into her bin... )