Images of the last week flashed through her mind.  A thousand words spoken and a million directions pulled.  What was truth?  What was lies created by sorrow?  Could she believe anything she felt right now?  Was this flight to Philly really going to bring anything to a close?  Worse, perhaps, was the mental image in her head of standing on a street corner with her heart like a toothbrush laid across her palms.

For not the first time she muttered, "Such an idiot..." to herself.  

"Don Luciano?"  The stewardess said, "We're descending, please buckle up."

She nodded and fastened in for the bumpy ride ahead of her.  Neither man knew she was coming - her presence was a hurricane in their lives, a bomb prepared to ruin the peace they both had before meeting her.  She'd do anything to change that, to take it all back... wouldn't she?  She closed her eyes and tilted her head up to the ceiling.  

"God take this..."  She whispered a prayer in vain as she felt the wheels hit pavement.  Her body jostled, but she had survived.  Perhaps they would too.  She could hope.

She'd flipped a coin and her first visit was due to Gavin and that meant a stop in to visit the gatekeeper, Tara.  She was shocked when the female Byrne was able to meet with her immediately.  The chat was a brief one and, awkward as she explained in the briefest of details that she had come to have the chat she'd promised to have with Gavin and so she needed Tara to be ready for whatever fall out came of that.  She didn't tell Tara that Elias was alive.  She wanted to, but the truth was it wouldn't have helped... it was hard enough for her to understand it without having to try and explain it to someone unconnected to the madness.

She asked Tara for the location of Gavin's home, but the response wasn't quite what she hoped for.  Tara had no interest in sending Isabella to "that hell hole" and insisted that she instead allow her to drop to Gavin she was in town on business. 

"I could call him."  She offered.  "I mean I do have his number."

Tara shook her head, "Nonsense.  I've got to talk to him anyway.  Why don't you head downtown to the Marriott.  We keep a luxury penthouse suite on reserve for visiting guests of the Godfather.  As long as you and Gavin don't trash the place..."  The way she said it indicated she didn't want to accuse Isabella of being the sort of person who did such things, but she damn well knew here brother's habits.  "I think we'll be fine.  Just let them know at the front desk that you're the guest of Ms. Byrne and they'll set you up real nice."

Isabella smiled and decided to take Tara's advice.  Saying goodbye she went to a local store, bought a bucket of vanilla ice cream & some silk rope, and then she went to a known whiskey runner and picked up some barrel aged bourbon to go with it.

She wasn't sure this was going to play out as it had in her head, but if it didn't, at least she'd not be seen by anyone but Gavin and have bourbon and ice cream to cry into.  Once at her room, she made about the horrible task of waiting.

Gavin yawned as he lay back in his bed, resting his arms behind his head and enjoying the feeling of new sheets on his bare skin. Tara, for some reason, had become obsessed with his apartment. He glanced around. She wasn't wrong. It was the first place they'd gotten when they'd shown up in Philly. Tara had moved out as soon as money was coming in, but Gavin had stayed despite its dirty and decrepit condition.

He reached over and picked up the phone, speaking as soon as he'd lifted it.

"Hello, Tara."

He said that every time he answered the phone, and he'd only been wrong a handful of times in a decade.

"Hello, Gavin."

"What do I have to do?"

"More of what I don't want you to do, actually. I'll be hosting some exclusive guests on The Pier over the next few days. I was hoping to limit Hurricane Gavin to non-Pier areas, if possible."

Gavin rolled his eyes, already starting to tune her out as she kept talking.

"Focus on the docks. I hardly think that you'll want to embarrass yourself in front of this crowd. Even your friend Isabella Luciano will be there."

Gavin shot up to a sitting position in bed, almost speaking but biting his tongue.

"Well, thanks anyways, Gavin. Talk you to-"

"Where is she?"

"Who? Isabella? I believe she's staying at the Marriott. Why?"

Gavin hung up the phone. Thirty minutes layer he'd showered and dressed in a new suit- as always, abandoning the tie in favor of a dress shirt that was open at the throat. His M1911 was in its holster under his left shoulder, and his customary knife was in a sheath on his right calf, hidden by his pantleg.  Going over to the defunct iron stove that now functioned as his safe and unlocking it, he removed as many hundreds as could fit in his wallet. He wasn't particularly expecting trouble, but if this visit was anything like Montreal or Chicago, he wanted to be prepared for anything. 

***

When he arrived at the hotel and stepped out of his cab, he froze for a moment as he looked up at the building. In fact, he'd already raised a hand to summon another cab when he spun around again and headed into the hotel- albeit directly toward the bar. A few minutes later he was at the front desk. The young man working there wasn't about to simply give out guests' information because someone asked, but he wasn't above taking a bribe. With the room number in his head, Gavin headed upstairs. He paused outside for the room for a while, closing his eyes once and taking a breath before opening them again and knocking on the door.

Gavin leaned against the door frame, readying an easy grin for whoever happened to open the door- and he hoped it wasn't a bodyguard.

"He's here."  Frank said watching as Gavin walked into the bar instead of up to the front desk.  "Think he's getting some liquid courage."

That wasn't the sign she was hoping for that he'd worked through whatever was on his mind at the Chippewa Woods.  In fact, that was the opposite of good.  Gavin Byrne didn't need alcohol to face women, unless they were holding toothbrushes.

That's not fair of me.

"You want us to come up?"  Frank asked.

"No.  Get yourselves a room down the hall from me.  Settle in.  You're off duty, starting now."

"Yes Ma'am."  Frank and his brother Gary, were both lazy bastards.  Isabella knew it, it's why she'd chose him to bring with her.  That and Gavin hadn't met them yet.  So far as he knew, it was just another suit in the lobby of a posh hotel.

Isabella stepped in front of a mirror and looked herself over.  Carefully she smoothed out the powder pink satin of her nightgown.  Her hair was perfect, hanging long and shiny black.  She didn't wear any make-up, she wanted to look as though she'd settled in for the night.  She poured herself a drink from the bottle, bourbon in a wine glass and with as much care as possible not to get any melted ice cream on herself, she filled a small cone with a single scoop of vanilla.  

She put the bourbon down on the table next to a book, "Rebecca" by Daphne Du Maurier which was book marked about a quarter of the way through and a sketch book that was closed on the floor, her pencils and smudge erasers scattered here and there haphazardly.  Isabella took a few licks of the ice cream and paced.  Just as she was beginning to wonder if Gavin had ran, there was a knock at the door.  Putting her ice cream in her off hand, she picked up her gun and went to peak through the spy glass.

Gavin was posing.  

She smirked at how they'd both gone to the trouble of creating illusions for one another.  She supposed that said something, right?  She putting aside her gun she unlocked the door, one lock at a time, and opened it to take in the sight of him from her place peaking around the edge of the door - modestly hinting at her own state of undress.

She looked him up and down, very obviously appraising him and finally smiling as if to say he passed muster.  Just as she smiled she brought her ice cream into Gavin's line of sight and licked it - stepping back to let him enter the room.  She walking back towards the couch, purposefully swaying her hips so every curve of her was accentuated under her silk nighty.  As of yet, she'd said nothing, unsure what to say to begin this... a part of her enjoyed the game - everything between them was fun and games to one degree or another.  Even when it wasn't... it was.  Maybe that's why she so appreciated him.  Maybe if he was as serious as Will or Elias, there really would be nothing for them to build a relationship upon.

She sat down, her back to the arm of the couch.  She swung her right leg over her left and licked at her vanilla ice cream again, remembering what he'd said about how she ate it meant something, and what she ate also said something... that her life was crazy and complex.  How right he'd been!  

"Bourbon?"  She said nodding to the bottle and the glasses.  "I've got more ice cream in the ice box if you want that too.  Not much else though."

Gavin was so restless when waiting for the door that he felt like bolting, but his foot stopped tapping as soon as he made eye contact with Bella. He smiled when it happened- not his usual sardonic smirk or grin, but an authentic smile. Covering it quickly he tilted his head and appraised the nightgown.

"And here I was thinking I'd be under-dressed."

As he walked in, he shrugged off his jacket and tossed it on one of the chairs, then rolled up his sleeves before settling onto the armchair. He watched her moved across the room as he leaned back and rested his right ankle on top of his knee, seemingly perfectly at ease. Bella reclined on the couch opposite him, and he continued to savor the silence as he glanced around the room. Was this part of the game, seeing who would break the quiet first? Then she spoke 

"Bourbon would be wonderful, thank you."

He stood, pouring himself a glass before returning to the same pose in the chair. Gavin smirked, remembering the first thing he'd said to her as he had leaned over and peered out of a booth.

"You know. They say that watching a person eat ice cream tells you an awful lot about them. For example, those with particularly insightful minds note that eating it in a nightgown suggests that one would be staying in for the evening."

He grinned, sampling his bourbon.

"How was your return trip to Detroit, Bella? Did the dragon emerge victorious?"

She took a long lick of the ice cream and smiled as she swallowed, her tongue darting out to get a stray bit of milk from her bottom lip.  She listened to his comment about her ice cream and she knew she had his mind in exactly the spot she hoped it would go.  There hadn't been much doubt that he'd require very little urging, but instead of him tearing the silk nighty off her, he was seated with a leg crossed... as if he was putting a non-verbal wall between them.

For his protection?  Or mine? 

Then came his question, something to get her focused on her problems instead of off them; that was the opposite of every other time they'd met... of course, this time she was prepared.  She was in a place of her choosing, dressed to seduce him, literally eating and drinking things meant to make him drop his guard, and he didn't even KNOW about the rope yet.  For as strong as Gavin was, she couldn't help but see a rabbit hiding in a bush, ready to bolt at the wrong move on her part and that made a part of her sad.  Though it would resolve a considerable amount of her troubles, and she should just let it happen, she didn't want it to go that way.

And why not, she wondered?  She'd cry less if he walked.  Hell, he would too.  He'd probably consider himself fortunate to have dodged her trappings of marriage and dog collars... he didn't want anything she had to offer.  What could she possibly give Gavin that would ever make him happy?  She looked at the ice cream cone and the fun of it died in her hand.  Suddenly it was just milk and ice... and everything she'd done tonight seemed... hollow.

Gavin might want her ... but he wanted her as he'd known her, not as she really was.  He wanted the vanilla ice cream licking girl in a silk nighty, the one running free across the width and breadth of Canada, stabbing men in bars and driving cars ridiculously fast down open highways in the late afternoon sunshine.  He was, no doubt, realizing who he was really dealing with.  Someone more like his sister and less like himself.  A woman of responsibilities that she wouldn't, no she couldn't, ever walk away from for more than a day or two at a time.  

Gavin wanted her.  She wanted Gavin.
But Gavin didn't want to be a partner in life; all tied to people and things in a way he could never escape.
And Isabella didn't want to be free of people and things; running to and fro where-ever whim and fancy drove her.

He's thinking what I'm thinking... this isn't going to work.  I'm delaying the inevitable.  I'm going to hurt us both as well as Will and Elias, if I pretend for another second this could actually be something more.

That really was it, wasn't it?  Had she really needed to come to Philly and see him to know this?  Her smile faded as these thoughts came to her mind and her playful look at her ice cream slowly became a look of regret.  She stood up and walked out to the kitchen and watched as her hand dropped the cold treat unceremoniously into the bin. 

She sighed.  

"I'm sorry Gavin."  She said, still looking at the melting treat in the trash.  "I'm ... such an asshole."

She breathed a moment and said quietly, "Please... just... hear me out.  All of it."  She didn't dare look away from the trash, she knew he was watching her intently and she had to say this before she lost her nerve because all she really wanted was to hold him and be held by him.  To feel his scars and take comfort in the sameness that seemed to resound between them... not the differences.

"I was so badly hurt when we met, that I didn't keep my guard up.  I wanted to escape my reality so intensely, that I didn't just let myself vacation in your world, and for a moment I thought I could live there.  I let you under my skin... I can't sleep without seeing you, can't work without feeling your eyes on me... shit Gavin, you've been everywhere since I left you in that park & I flew here tonight thinking... I don't know what the hell I was thinking!"  Her chin fell to her breast in shame. 

"To be honest it was all so stupid.  I thought I could take Tara's advice and that I'd know all the right things to say to you when I saw you; in that way I always seem to do with everyone else.  That I'd get what I wanted and you'd change into something I could make fit into my world.  That I'd find some way to make it all work, so I could keep you - forever."  She walked over to the kitchen drawer, violently pulling it open and taking out the rope.  With it in hand she returned to the sitting room.  

"But you're not a thing to be kept."  She threw the rope onto the coffee table in disgust.  "That should have been my sign what a fucking fairy tale I was spinning myself.  Just take it.  Keep it, throw it away, burn it, do whatever you want with it... but, it's not who I am and more importantly, it's not who I want be."

Still so ashamed that she couldn't look at him,  "I love you,"  The words stuck painfully in her throat.  "... just as you are.  Good.  Honest.  Strong.  And most of all, free."  For a moment her face contorted painfully.  As if the words she spoke were knives in her own heart.  

"If I ask you to come be a part of my world forever - and at some point I would - you might change to do it.  You might be willing to become something else to appease me & my needs so this wouldn't have to end.  But maybe I'd hate the person you'd force yourself to be... or maybe you'd come to hate me for changing you.  I don't want any of that!  I don't want you to change for me, fuck, I don't want you to change anyone!"

She finally looked to him speaking with earnest, "I'll loathe the man or woman that breaks you like that, Gavin.  Even if, no especially if you love them."  She couldn't imagine how much she'd want to strangle the woman he put that collar on for.  That bitch would be a better woman than she could make herself be in every way and she'd never forgive her for it. 

"If I'm wrong and you ever love someone else enough to put that dog collar on for her... keep her FAR from me.  Because I'll never forgive her.  I'll hate her because you loved her so much that you killed yourself, and I'll hate her because I'll never be able to be her."  Her bottom lip trembled,  "And dragons never suffer anything they hate for very long."

She drew herself up taller, even though the pain in her eyes was threatening to break through the dam she'd built to hold it back, "You're right.  I am a Dragon.  Wounded, perhaps, which has made me stupid and weak... but a Dragon none the less.  And I can't be anything but what I am."

She shook her head regretfully,  "I can no sooner walk away from my holdings, hoard and trappings to run across the world with you all carefree and blissful, than any true Dragon could.  So... this thing that's haunted me - whatever we have become to each other, I'm scared of it."

"So, before I make the tragic error of allowing myself to confuse a good roll in the hay with you for actual love making, I thought I'd say it out loud to stop myself from believing in fairy stories.  Because, without a doubt, I came here thinking that's what we'd do tonight, Gavin... that it would all end with us making love on that bed right there... and I don't think that's who we can be for each other... is it?" 

It had been the first question she'd asked.  She'd thrown a lot of her thoughts at him rapid fire - thoughts she wondered if he shared, but she never asked.  Perhaps on purpose, perhaps out of a sense of her own shame or pride.  She couldn't rightly say which.

She snatched up her bourbon and drank it fast - draining the glass utterly before admitting,  "Because... before I left Detroit, I gave Elias his ring back."

Gavin watched her eat her ice cream with amusement, but he could also see her thinking. Gavin wasn't nearly as educated as Tara was, but he liked to think that he knew people. Still, he raised an eyebrow as she dropped the ice cream cone into the trash. Surprising.

As she called herself an asshole, Gavin was about to interrupt and say something, but she needed to get something out of her system, just as she had in Montreal, so he stifled his thoughts and just listened.

"I let you under my skin... I can't sleep without seeing you, can't work without feeling your eyes on me... shit Gavin, you've been everywhere since I left you in that park & I flew here tonight thinking... I don't know what the hell I was thinking!"  

His smile, his rare authentic one, flashed for a moment again, but she was so focused on the trash that she didn't notice. The hairs on the back of his neck bristled when Tara's name came up, but he immediately forgot about that when she took the rope from the drawer. For a second, he watched like it a condemned man watches a noose- then he simply looked at Bella. He was a fantastic poker player, and he resolved to simply listen to her and let Bella get whatever it was out of her system. 

He prided himself on his poker face, but his mouth still opened slightly when she said "I love you". He closed it as soon as he realized it was open, although he wasn't sure if it was seconds or minutes.

When she was finished, he looked at her for a long time, wondering what to say.

"I don't know what to say."

He saw Bella close her eyes, but he spoke again to prevent any sort of reaction.

"I... just... damn it."

He leaned forward with his heads in his hands for a moment before gesturing at the couch across from him. Bella sat down, watching him.

"Please be patient with me. I... fuck."

Gavin looked up at her, icy blue eyes gleaming with intensity. He thought for a long time and, when he spoke, his voice was softer than Bella had ever heard it.

"First off, I think you need to give me more credit, talking about people breaking me. There's no one alive who can break me. No one dead, either. There's also nobody who can change me- not against my will. I'm not sure if I can change myself, but I know I'm allowed to try if I want to. A few weeks ago I'd already be out the door by now. Now... I'm still here. I've been trying to figure out..."

He paused, and when he spoke again his voice was slightly louder.

"I don't know what happened in Chicago. I blew through half the city trying to forget how I felt with you by the river. It didn't work."

Gavin clamped his mouth shut. It was a while before he spoke again.

"I guess I just... really liked being with you. It felt right. Like I'd want to go back with you to Detroit. Or I'd miss you when you did leave. And that's not... that's... not normal. I like having fun with people, I don't mind helping those people when they're in trouble, but I... I just don't feel like I need them. They don't need me. I can just move on, if things things go bad. But when you left Chicago, I couldn't just forget and move on."

"But I've spent every day since Chicago trying to forget about what happened, and I can't."

He dropped his eyes to the floor.

"You said you love me. I don't even know what that is or how that works. You know what my life has been like, and I feel like for me to say that I love anyone would be... I'd be saying something I didn't know anything about. It'd be bullshit for me to say that right now."

"You asked me who we can be for each other... and I honestly don't know."

He raised his eyes to her again and looked at her steadily.

"But I guess what I'm saying is that I'm willing to try to find out. If you need a guy who just immediately starts talking about love and marriage and all that shit, I can't just do that. I just don't know how."

"But if you do...

He paused, an unfamiliar word in his mouth.

"...care about me... I... I guess I just want to keep spending time with you, I want to keep having fun with you. I understand that it might mean more than just fucking around with each other..."

"I guess the point of what I'm saying is that I'm willing to find out what happens, if you can be patient and help me figure things out. To change if I want to change, which is my choice and no one else's. And I can't promise anything. But I also can't rule out anything. There's a part of me that wants to be what you want. And there's a part of me that thinks I could never live up to what you want. But I want to try. And I really hope that's good enough for you for tonight, because that's all I can offer right now- to try."

"First off, I think you need to give me more credit, talking about people breaking me. There's no one alive who can break me. No one dead, either. There's also nobody who can change me- not against my will. I'm not sure if I can change myself, but I know I'm allowed to try if I want to. A few weeks ago I'd already be out the door by now. Now... I'm still here. I've been trying to figure out..."

Isabella smiled ever so faintly at Gavin's assertions he could not be broken.  Men often thought that about themselves, too often in her estimation, and women often thought they could be broken by any number of things - both of which was seldom true.  Gavin, however, might be right.  Perhaps after seeing Elias as she had, she had jumped to a conclusion about how much the other men in her life could take.  It wasn't fair to assume... but fear made women do dumb things.

"I don't know what happened in Chicago. I blew through half the city trying to forget how I felt with you by the river. It didn't work."

So, he had been shaken, what happened?  What changed?  How had he come to see her different in that moment?  She'd give every dime of her fortune to know!  How had she pushed herself into his head without meaning to?  All the work a woman could put in trying to make a man fall for her, and she'd stumbled onto in her most awful moment with her head spinning like a top and her heart a mat upon which the world was walking?  It didn't seem right that she should captivate a man so accidentally.

"I guess I just... really liked being with you. It felt right. Like I'd want to go back with you to Detroit. Or I'd miss you when you did leave. And that's not... that's... not normal. I like having fun with people, I don't mind helping those people when they're in trouble, but I... I just don't feel like I need them. They don't need me. I can just move on, if things things go bad. But when you left Chicago, I couldn't just forget and move on."

He needs me?

Her mouth opened ever so slightly but she held in her words, choosing instead to hear him out.

"But I've spent every day since Chicago trying to forget about what happened, and I can't."

She found herself holding her breath.  Was this happening?  Was this REALLY happening?  The one man of the three she thought would run from her as she confessed her troubled heart was... he wasn't running?

"You said you love me. I don't even know what that is or how that works. You know what my life has been like, and I feel like for me to say that I love anyone would be... I'd be saying something I didn't know anything about. It'd be bullshit for me to say that right now."

Tears welled in her eyes, tears not of pain, but of joy.  A smile split across her lips as her brain spun a thousand questions out.  Logic told her this was a huge mistake.  A terrible error she'd allowed to go on too long.  A train wreck waiting to happen and everyone involved would be a casualty - EVERYONE.

And yet, she hadn't heard better news in months and considering recent events, that just re-enforced the idea in her head that she was a horrible person.  She'd gone from being a tragic princess in her Ivory Tower to the fulcrumb on a machine that would hurt so many and here she was grinning like an idiot as a man who didn't know how to from the worlds 'love' with his lips - all but said it back to her.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

"You asked me who we can be for each other... and I honestly don't know."

He held her gaze and she returned in, her thoughts echoing his words.  She had no more clarity on the convoluted matter than he did.  His words, his desires, didn't resolve anything.  In fact, they made everything a tangled mess.  And yet, here they were. 

"But I guess what I'm saying is that I'm willing to try to find out. If you need a guy who just immediately starts talking about love and marriage and all that shit, I can't just do that. I just don't know how."

"But if you do..."

Love?

"...care about me..." 

Baby steps.

"I... I guess I just want to keep spending time with you, I want to keep having fun with you. I understand that it might mean more than just fucking around with each other..."

What WOULD that mean?  She hadn't thought about it at all.  She honestly had never really considered they'd be more than fuck buddies, if that was a thing.  Falling in love with Gavin was something that she found herself in the middle of without any thought to it at all.  With Elias she'd known what she was doing every step of the way.  There wasn't a fall so much as a gentle walking down of stairs.  The way she felt about Will, if she was being honest.

With Gavin, the earth she thought she was standing on quaked and gave way.  She fell into a deep pit that seemed to have no bottom at all, and she'd been falling non-stop since.  Falling deeper and deeper for him with every damn word he spoke.  She was going to push him away less than two minutes ago and now she was grinning at him like an idiot! 

Pull it together, Izzy!  The man deserves to know what he's asking for.  I need to look at the road ahead or we're both going to crash and burn and no fucking moose will break it up with comedic relief. 

"I guess the point of what I'm saying is that I'm willing to find out what happens, if you can be patient and help me figure things out. To change if I want to change, which is my choice and no one else's. And I can't promise anything. But I also can't rule out anything. There's a part of me that wants to be what you want. And there's a part of me that thinks I could never live up to what you want. But I want to try. And I really hope that's good enough for you for tonight, because that's all I can offer right now- to try."

She closed her eyes, breathing careful breaths, thinking of all the words that need to be said.  They'd both said enough to destroy everything they both understood about themselves and their carefully constructed protections from a lifetime of pain.  She'd been living in the storm for these past six months - but Gavin, in many ways, had lived there since he was a small boy.

She looked at the troubled man in front of her and she could almost see the boy that Tara described to her, the one that probably tried in his earliest days to please his father - the one who wanted that man's approval more than anything else - the one who eventually learned that love was a vulnerability.  His mother's love had gotten her, most likely a grave.  While neither Byrne said it flat out - it was pretty clear.  Mom was probably dead by Dad's hand... and dad by Gavin's hand.  He saved Tara from it all and Tara had been the closest thing to love he'd admit to in life and even she felt detached from Gavin now.

And who was she to him? 

Isabella the Dragon: Breaker of Joy. 

She looked at Gavin, and in some ways, his uncertainty mirrored that in Elias' eyes yesterday.  

"...Izzy what are we right now?"

The memory of Elias looking at her that way was a punch in the gut right now.  Had she HOPED Gavin would run?  Had that been the plan in some dark part of her mind all along?  Scare him?  If Gavin ran away and Will, noble Will, walked away - then what decision did she have to make?  Had she really been that much of a coward?  Would she have resumed her life with Elias out of a sense of duty, leaving love on the table here in this hotel room... walking away from it forever, if Gavin hadn't stayed?  Isabella wasn't sure, but a small part of her hissed vindictively, 'You KNOW you would have.'

"Maybe love isn't a... fair... word to use."  She mutters hoarsely after a long silence.  The sound of profound thought is carried in her tone.  She keeps her hands in her lap and her shoulders hunched forward, falling in on herself.  

"I knew something had changed in Chicago, though why it happened there and at that moment, I keep trying to understand to no real avail."  She chuckled darkly,  "Why not during the perfect moments in Montreal?  The roof with the sun rising or in the woods by the river?"

She winced, talking to herself more than to Gavin really and by his silence she assumed he knew that.  Somehow this man who was merely a game to be played had figured out she was the sort of girl who rambled... talking to herself to sort out the difficulties of her life.  She wondered when he'd come to that realization.  How had he learned who she was in such a short time? 

"I wasn't looking for ... anything.  I'd written it all off as fun.  I was doing what you said because I would have done anything anyone asked me to do!  Just so long as the pain stopped."

She swallowed what felt like a rock firmly lodged in her throat.

"You were meant to be a balm to my loneliness, a way for me to get through the hell my life had become, so that I could keep functioning for my father and my crew.  You know, the way some men use alcohol."  She put her elbows on her knees, weaving her fingers together, and putting the knuckles to her lips.  Her eyes staring at nothing, intensely.  Her mind racing with thoughts unspoken.

"And it worked.  Everything was beautiful and I felt strong again so, I started to rebuild my life - just like I knew I would when it finally became bearable to do so again."  She said into her hands.

"Then Elias was back and instead of feeling like I needed to be with this man I'd loved for so long, I just wanted to run to you."  She shook her head ever so slightly.  "When you came to me in Chicago was like a switch flipped.  You became much more to me."

She drew a breath as illumination broke through the clouds of her mind, "So... that's it."  She said.  "Stephen was right.  I did do this.  This was my decision, every bit of it.  It wasn't the sex or anything you said or did in particular."

'Love is a Choice.'  Those were the words of Frank Dicaprio to his future wife: Lucia Fazzone, the first leader of the Ivory Tower.  The words were in a thick black ink, alone, stark on a single white page with nothing else around it in the journal of the late Don. 

Love is a Choice.  People didn't fall into it.  Love wasn't accidental, it wasn't something she'd been a victim of... whether through conspiracy or misfortune.  No.  Love was a choice.  And regardless of all the shit that she might have told herself before, she'd made a choice when she ran to that phone and dialed Gavin's number.  She had chose to love him and prayed he'd return that love - which he did, by coming to her in a time of great need.

Lightening captured in a bottle, she wet her lips, as her eyes rapidly quivered with a thousand unspoken calculations of social behaviors and decisions made.  Digesting who she had decided to be and why.  Understanding came, slowly, and with no small amount of pain.  Finally she seemed to have resolved something as her eyes finally came to rest in the deep pools of blue still set in his face.

"Okay."  She said, a resolve in her tone.  "Lesson one."  she said letting a smile grow on her face.

"Love is a choice.   A thousand little choices and inconveniences.  It's stopping to pick flowers when you have other things you should be doing or dropping everything to fly to Chicago in the middle of the night because someone needs you.  It's listening to a woman weep and tell you about a man she use to love because she so broken-hearted that she can't function anymore - even when you'd much rather be making love to her.  Love is catching her fish in a cold ass river while butt ass naked or buying her a rare car just because you know she loves to drive fast."

"Love is listening when another person rambles on and on, and you know you could just kiss her to shut her up... because she'd definitely like that too... but choosing instead to listen and hear her out."  she chuckled.  "Love isn't a feeling or something that just happens to us without effort or our consent - no matter how it feels sometimes.  And while I don't know that we can say ... love ... yet, I'd like to explore that possibility with you."

"I'd also like to apologize."  She sat up, her hands back in her lap, "I shouldn't have underestimated you.  I promise you that it won't ever happen again.  I will always bet on you, Gavin.  Without exception."

Gavin listened intently. Ever since Montreal, he'd known that Bella needed to say things before she did anything, and he knew that there was no stopping her once she got wound up.

"It wasn't the sex or anything you said or did in particular."

The corner of Gavin's mouth twitched, barely perceptibly. Well, he was sure that had something to do with it.

Still, he listened as she talked about love. 

"I'd also like to apologize."  She sat up, her hands back in her lap, "I shouldn't have underestimated you.  I promise you that it won't ever happen again.  I will always bet on you, Gavin.  Without exception."

"Good."

He flashed a wolfish grin.

"Well then I bet if you lay down on that bed and close your eyes, you won't be disappointed."

Isabella looked to the bedroom.  "You really have been going crazy this week... haven't you?  She smirked but then suppressed the smirk.  

"Maybe I need to talk more..." She said playfully.  "I mean this is a VERY serious thing we're talking about - you and a Don, can you imagine what everyone will say!  We should probably make plans and discuss how things could go and how we'll deal with potential problems.  To say NOTHING of my father and your Godfather."  

She crossed her legs and faked a very 'business-like' look, "So where do you want to begin with all this seriousness?"

Gavin nodded slowly; he certainly felt crazy. But he waved off her concerns with a wave of his hand. He was still somewhat in a state of shock that the conversation was even happening, but he was starting to think tactically.

"I'm not worried about anyone else. We can figure them out later. I'd like to see you as often as we can and have a much fun as we can.  Mostly I just want to make sure that I don't piss you off or do anything wrong. Tell me what I could do to fuck this up."

Isabella roared with laughter and lept up from the couch and came over to straddle him on the couch, lifting her satin night gown to pool just below her waist barely keeping her modesty.

"Most men would ask what they need to do to be right... not my sweetheart, he ask how he can fuck it all up." She rolls her eyes.  "Well, let's see... fucking up would be you stopping me from making money.  Fucking up would be you embarrassing or endangering me.  Fucking up would be disrespecting my Father - which, if this goes even ... how thick do you think your pants are?"

She looked down at his waistband, "About that much further, you'll DEFINITELY be doing.  See he has this opinion of you right now... it seems to go like this, 'That Gavin guy doesn't exist.  And if he did, so long as my daughter comes back from her time with him safe and happy... able to make me shit tons of money... what I don't know won't have to hurt him.'  By all that I mean to say, there isn't a single man I've dated, even a little, that my father hasn't asserted his dominance over for the sake of saving face.  And I mean... none, but you.  YOU brought me back from the edge and for that, he has chosen to ignore that our trip to Canada even happened."

She shrugs, "But... once you're on my dance card Gavin Byrne, he will be a bridge that will have to be crossed in time.  If I was princess in the Tower, he is the TRUE dragon.  Over protective, not of me, but of his own image... or so he tries to tell me to get me off his back about giving my beaus a hard time."  She wrapped her arms around Gavin's neck.

"So... in a way, you've been my naughty not-so-secret ... while other guys have been my father's punching bags for the right to be seen with me in public on their arms.  It's infuriating but he's my Godfather, as well as my father, so ... there it is.  The ugliest and hardest hurdle in your path to spending time with me and not fucking things up.  To be honest, there's little else you could do beyond pissing my dad off.  As a Don there's not a lot of folks who would stand toe to toe with me and dare say that my lover had done anything other than hung the moon itself."

Gavin matched Bella's laughter with a grin as she straddled him.

"Stay good for business. Don't embarrass or endanger... I'll take that to mean too much danger, as opposed to joyriding and having fun?"

He pondered the third thing. 

"Well, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. You know him best, so I'd appreciate any advice. But I'm not going to be a bootlicker. I wouldn't respect that, and I doubt he would either. What's the play there?"

Gavin shifted himself in the chair with a smirk to feel a bit more comfortable and well positioned. In his past, he never worried about fathers. Or husbands. But most fathers weren't Godfathers. 

"Will had the misfortune of asking to see me after we'd had our first unofficial date in New York City - he was why I was visiting Philly when you and I met.  Well, I was on a bender in New York and Will bailed my ass out by keeping me from getting very dead at the hands of Tyler Durden.  Sadly, in the mix, he had to punch me in the mouth."  She laughed.  "My dad couldn't let that slide so as I understand it, before you and he had your most recent dick waving contest, my father had softened him up quite a bit.  Will stood there and took it.  Swore to my father he'd never put hands on me again and had nothing but the utmost respect for him.  My father conceded that Will could be seen with me... but hat we were NOT to become a thing without his blessing.  So far... he's honored that, mostly."

"Now, Elias went to my father with respect and never having never put a hand on me in anger or lust.  He asked for the right to see me and was told 'not yet' ... no ass kicking or kissing involved.  Just... 'not now' and 'we'll see.'  Elias was told he had to prove himself first and that he should stay the fuck away from me in the meantime."  she laughs. 

"The dumb ass went and got wasted that same night so badly that another Don called me as my father's Right Hand to come fetch him and then..."

Her smile faded as the 'funny story' died on her lips.  The memory of that night came rushing back.  Suddenly NOTHING about that night was funny.  Now she knew... the dots became lines and a picture became crystal clear.  The playful nature of her entire demeanor disappeared in an instant.

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. Or you can, if you do want to."

He paused, leaning back and trying to distract Bella from getting too caught up in her thoughts and more focused on him, if a physical distraction was what she wanted. 

"Well, seems like there's two ways we can play it. If he has a good opinion of me right now about me just being fun for you and not existing, I'm perfectly happy to continue to not exist if you think that'd be best. I want to figure things out with you, not start waltzing around high society together. Or we confront the problem directly and try to talk to him as soon as possible."

Gavin narrowed his eyes.

"For the record, if your father was a banker, I'd be telling you that you're a free person and you don't need his permission for anything. But... he is not a banker. Doesn't mean I'm scared of him. Not really scared of anyone, to be totally honest. But based on the way you're talking here, this is important to you- so I'll go with whatever you say."

Isabella was clearly half-listening to Gavin talking about her father, when he was done she slid off his lap.  "I have to handle something."  She said walking over to the phone and hitting the zero.

"Give me room 522."  She waited and when Gary answered her voice was grim and all business.  "I need you."  She hung up the phone and walked towards the door speaking to Gavin over her shoulder.  

"This will only take a moment."  Almost an instant later there was a knock, she took up her gun off the table by the door and then peaked out.  She unlocked the door and opened it to let in her guys who looked like they were half-expecting trouble, not Gavin reclining on the couch.

"Whatcha need, Boss?"

"I want you on the next flight back to Detroit.  Go to my father directly.  Tell him that it's Garrett.  Agent Fucking Garrett.  I need eyes on him yesterday - I assume since he managed to take Elias my father's people are asleep on the job or they've been paid off.  I'll be home in,"  She looked at her watch.  16 hours.  You got all that?"

"Tell the Godfather that it's Agent Garrett.  You want new eyes on him cause you think the Godfather's people are suspect.  You'll be back in 16 hours."

"Yes."

"And when he asks me what you're doing?"

She paused and looked to Gavin then back to her bodyguard, "I'm a guest of the Godfather of Philadelphia.  Had a late evening meeting with Tara Byrne working on the fight club we're building on Race Street Pier.  Tell him I have an AM business meeting with William Bowden over breakfast.  When he asks you if I'm staying the night with Will, tell him no.  I'm at the Marriott Hotel as the Godfather's guest.  And rest easy... every word is true."

"Yes Ma'am."

"Mention my guest here tonight and you'll find you have much problems with tongue twisters as Joey and Neil.  Got it?"

"I saw no one Ma'am.  You retired early with ice cream, bourbon and your favorite book."

"Smart man.  No get the fuck out of here."  She watched the man leave and locked the door behind her. 

 "I picked Elias up," She continued her story, her temper barely contained.  "He kissed me - without warning and without my permission.  I liked it but... I was angry.  I got out of the car on a bridge and we argued - it's how they cornered us."

"A group lead by a zealot Federal Agents lead by a man named Garrett took me into custody.  He put the screws to me... hard, but he thought he figured I was too new to crime... that I'd scare easy.  I didn't.  I could see then he was obsessed with bringing my father down as a means to making a name for himself.  I WARNED my father not to let that scumbag keep breathing... my father was sure he could handle it.  He threatened the man and put guys to watching him... he was SURE after threatening this zealot's wife and kids that he'd NEVER touch us again  And that was the last I'd heard from him... or so I thought."

Isabella stalked back to the couch, guilt and anger distracting her from her previous high spirits.  "How did I miss it?  How did I not suspect him?"

Gavin was very, very confused. They were talking strategy. Building up some fun tension. And then... well, whatever. He didn't really understand what was happening, but he simply shrugged.

As Bella was handling business on the phone, Gavin took a short stroll around the room to make his pants fit more comfortably. Those suit pants weren't exactly thick.

"I'm the guest of the Godfather of Philadelphia..."

Gavin lay back on the bed and waited for Bella to finish.

"I guess I've been promoted. I'll have to tell Jack."

His eyes widened with delight.

"No... I'll have to tell Tara."

Despite musing himself, he knew Bella was pissed, and when she turned his attention back to Gavin the man was deadly serious. He swung around on the bed, resting his feet on the floor.

"Don't think about the past. Can't help you now. Focus on your target."

He paused.

"... can I help? I don't want to step on the toes of either your father's turf or yours- and I know this is personal for you. But killing people is kind of my... thing. If this guy needs to get in the ground fast, I'll help you get him there- if you want it."

He shrugged.

"Hell, if you think he's got a source somewhere in your father's organization, we can try to handle it ourselves if you want. I'm sure your bodyguards would never talk... that's why so many of them are lacking tongues... sorry, just sayin'. If we find his home, we can take him down there. But if this is personal for you- whatever you decide works for me."

Isabella ran a hand into her hair.  "It is personal."  She said.  "To me... but more so to Elias.  He'll want to see that fucker choke out his last breathe because it didn't just cost him six months of his life ... as of yesterday he lost everything he had planned for his future."  she shook her head.  "It cost him me."

She crossed her arms in front of her breasts.  The room was colder now and she felt under dressed.  "I was going to talk to Will tomorrow, to tell him Elias was alive and ..."  She wasn't sure what AND was at this point.  And let him walk away?  Well, she'd seen how well that had gone with Gavin.  At this point she wasn't ready to put anything out of the realm of possibility.

She sighed.  "Doesn't seem like a good plan now."  She looked at the clock on the nightstand.  "How long do you suppose it would take you to get packed with your clothing and gear... assuming I were to engage your services for this very personal job?"

"Uh... I'm ready now. I tend to just buy new clothes wherever I go. And Tara can send someone with my stuff to the airport."

He shrugged.

"I travel light."

"So..."  She smirked and looked at the clock again then back to Gavin.  "We have 16 hours minus time to make one call to your sister and flight time?" 

She walked over and pecked Gavin's lips.  "I'll go wash my face, try to shake this off.  Then maybe we can try to pick up where we were before I realized I knew who our problem was all along.  In the meantime, why don't you pour us some bourbon, turn on the radio and... give Tara that call so we can sleep late tomorrow morning.  Not necessarily in that order.  Something tells me we'll both appreciate a good rest before going to Detroit to hunt down a Federal Agent and find the loose tongues in my father's operation?"

"How's that sound to you?  I mean... we could go tonight if you prefer, but he's not going anywhere and even if he did... we'd find him.  Call me a bit selfish, but those sheets are high thread count Egyptian cotton... I'd kinda like to test them out."  She gave him a smile, trying to reassure him that despite her anger and guilt, her head and heart were here with him, in this moment.  Not in Detroit.  Bloodshed could wait 16 hours.  After all, it had already waited six months.

Gavin grinned and nodded. As soon as Bella turned away, he picked up the phone and called Tara.

"Hey. Need my stuff. Airport tomorrow morning. Yep. Bye."

He hung up the phone and turned on the radio, spinning the dial until he found something with rhythm. Then he poured a couple glasses of bourbon and started unbuttoning his dress shirt.

When Bella walked out of the bathroom, he was sitting on the bed with the rope from the coffee table stretched between his hands. He glanced up at her with a raised eyebrow.

"So what were you going to do with this?"