Isabella brought a tray down the stairs.  On it was a glass of water, a sandwich, and a small handful of potato chips.  She carefully moved so not to spill the contents of her tray as she'd walked into the room.  She'd given Elias some space and time to think - but she supposed really it was as much for herself than anything else.  She hated seeing him suffering in this way, but she couldn't stay away from him, not forever.

She opened the door and found him sleeping, as he so often did.  She put the tray on the nightstand by the bedside.  She sat down beside him on the bed and took his hand, holding it in her own gently.

"Elias?"  She touched his face gently to wake him.

"I've brought some food.  Stephen says you need to try something more substantial if you're ever getting out of this bed again.  So... let's get you sitting up.  I'll help."

Elias woke as he heard his name softly spoken by such a familiar voice.. He squinted his eyes and saw the shadow outline of Isabella, who was leaning over his bedside.. 'Good morning my love' Elias muttered in an early morning, husky deep voice..'it's good to see you so soon....'Elias paused before continuing 'since our chat the other day. I've been thinking about what I've said, and what you said in return to me. I'm not angry, I want you to know that. I will always love you...'

Elias sat himself up and saw Isabella had brought him some substantial food 'Who would of known I had to almost die for you to cook me something?' Elias managed to chuckle, but not too hard otherwise he knew the pain that came with it...

'Stephen is right, I feel as each day goes on I am improving, but living on liquids is taking it's toll. I want to be up and about - walking. You know it's my favourite thing to do.' 

'Thank you for taking the time to come and see me Don, I really appreciate the gesture.'

"You don't need to thank me."  She said smiling, putting the plate in front of him.  "I can't tell you how much I prayed to God that I would give everything I owned for even another minute with you.  And now, here you are."

She put her hand on his leg while he sat there eating.  "I never stopped loving you Elias, not even now, but a lot has happened in six months and I feel like maybe we jumped ahead of ourselves when we spoke last.  Maybe, in desperation to get back to life as we once knew it, you asked me a fair question, but one for which you had no context that made it more palatable?"  She arched an eyebrow.

"Most people," She said looking down at the hands in her lap.  "They lose someone they love, assuming they survive the grief, eventually try to begin living life again.  And, as a Don, I didn't have the luxury of mourning for years.  I knew lives depended on my good sense, on my ability to make money and produce for my Father's city.  If I failed, we both know the cost of failing a Godfather - even one who loves me."

Her thumb absently rubbed Elias' thigh as she spoke, "Eventually you and I will talk about the people who've come into my life.  Maybe about how... when you feel up to it and not a moment before; not because I want to hurt you, but because I want you in my life, Eli."

There was a long silence.  Elias wasn't saying anything.  She wondered if maybe she touched a nerve.  "Maybe we could talk about something else for a bit?"  She tried to make her voice sound chipper and less bogged down with all the weight of other people's happiness that constantly was present in her mind.

"Like... the crew?  Or maybe business ideas or the state of my current businesses?  We could even talk about what you'd like to do once you're up and walking around again ... which will be in no time I'm sure."  She pulled her hand away from Elias' thigh, worried that maybe it was her familiarity with him that was keeping him quiet.

"Eli...?"  She tilted her head to the side. 

She wasn't going to let him drive her off with silence (drug-induced or not) this time!  "My right-hand man, Marie's priest and best friend from her childhood, is stepping down.  In the midst of everything happening right now - I'm once again losing the man I trusted most to have my back.  I know he needs to step away... but I'm angry that I'm here again.  That the world gets to speculate again about why I'm replacing hands like they are a fashion accessory."

She fidgets with her fingers, not looking at Elias now, feeling ashamed and hurt.  "We took in some stragglers after Marie killed a Don in Chicago.  Seems that's what I do best in my father's era... take in the remnants of the dead and cause controversy."  she shook her head.  "I sometimes think about what we might have done with this crew - you and I - if we could have done it together, the way we wanted."

Isabella got a faraway look in her eyes, a dreamy thing really as if the dream of the Tower under Elias and Isabella was a fond one. "Me, creating a vision and you helping us to walk the path... both of us building something from nothing - together.  Instead, this crew got half-the-package they were promised... not even that really when you consider the condition I was in after you were gone." 

The dreamy look was gone as fast as it had come.  "I was a wretch, barely speaking in headquarters, forcing myself to be around the crew even though had no passion for it.  I made so many mistakes early on - things I'm still trying to fix.  I kept looking in the mirror and thinking about how pathetic it was that I was leading ... me this young no one, someone who got a crew cause her daddy gave it to her... all emotional and mopey; unable to lead effectively without my man." 

She scoffed.

"I was pathetic."  She said with disgust.  "This shouldn't have broken me... but it did.  I was nothing after you were gone Elias, and I can't express to you how much I still struggle with that reality.  The day my wedding dress arrived in the mail, long after I forgot that it was coming, was a moment of reckoning for me.  I had two choices... I could throw myself into an underground fight I couldn't win just so I could die like you, the way I felt I deserved for abandoning you as I did, or I could find something else to make me smile."

She shook her head, "I know you can't see it with what I told you during my last visit, but I didn't want to find anyone else.  So, I went to New York.  I said my goodbyes to my mother, and my sister... though she didn't know that's what it was; and then I went to drink some liquid courage before making my way to Tyler Durden's fight club."

She drew a long breath.  "I was just about to leave when this guy comes up and starts talking to me.  For a bit I think about taking him back to a hotel room - I wondered if I just had a fling, a meaningless nothing if I'd wake up and feel different.  I was sure it wouldn't work but I tried to seduce him.  I think Will is just... too good.  His heart, it's... better than a broken half-committed wretch like I deserve."

"When we got to the club, I'd tricked him into coming with me - hoping I'd have a backup plan or maybe someone to help me keep my courage; he realized what I was doing though he didn't know why.  You see, I didn't tell him about you.  I didn't want the last person who looked at me with the same smile you had, to know how fucked up I really and truly was.  I wanted to die with someone thinking something nice about me; but Will wouldn't let that happen."

"Will got himself put on my fight ticket.  He knew to hit me was a death sentence, and I wasn't going to let him off without doing it.  I wanted him to hurt me... to make me bleed like I imagined you doing..."  A lump caught in her throat, "So many times... all alone."

Tears welled up in her doe-like eyes, still, she couldn't look at Elias.  "Will kept his guard up and I just kept hitting him with all my anger and sadness and disgust until I had nothing left to give.  I had him pinned to the floor but I couldn't have thrown another punch if my life had depended upon it - which, ironically, it did."

She wipes a tear and sniffled.  "Will scooped me up like a child exhausted from a temper tantrum and told the whole ravening mob that it was over.  He was bloody and bruised and so brave... they cleared a path for him until Tyler appeared.  Then... it got really bad.  Durden wouldn't let the fight end until one of us was unconscious.  He egged Will on telling him that I was there when Elyan's crew was murdered... Will's family.  That it was our people who had done it."

She bit her bottom lip and closed her eyes.  "For a moment I thought he might hit me.  For a brief moment... and then he turned on Durden.  He fought Tyler Fucking Durden to protect me... and he went down hard.  I was forced to negotiate for our lives.  Durden eventually came to terms with me, terms I weaseled out of ... a fact that has no doubt marked me for death."

She drew a breath.  "They let me take Will but told me I had to carry him.  I found a dolly and managed to put him onto it, all the while Tyler's goons laughed and jeered at me.  They chased me down the street to my car and driving away I realized that even in trying to die... I'd fucked things up, but for a moment, I wanted to live.  I was so scared of us dying like that... of someone else paying for my stupidity... that I knew death wasn't the answer and neither was mourning you forever.  I HAD to move on."

She finally looked at Elias, "Please understand.  Please just say something.  I've taken lovers, I won't apologize for needing comfort and for needing to be strong for this crew - I told myself that was what you would have wanted.  Isn't it?  If you'd really been dead ... would you rather I died than ... than being with another man?  Because... I can't say that about you Elias.  I just can't!  I'd have you sleep with seas of women to spare you any pain.  If it gave you an ounce of comfort to know love again... I'd be wishing it upon you endlessly!"

She put her face into her palm, she' hadn't meant to break down like this - and here she was again... some dragon I am!

"I'm sorry... I just can't bear you being silent.  I want the old you back, the one who fought with me and made me be strong... I want ... I WILL make these assholes who did this to you pay.  I SWEAR it to you Elias.  I will bend heaven and earth to bring them before you in chains.  I will ... I will do such things to them... but PLEASE fucking say SOMETHING!"

She would wait just a bit longer.  If he still had nothing to say, she knew that the only way to begin his healing would be by her getting to work and bringing Agent Garrett and his band of merry assholes to him for retribution.

Elias could overhear what Isabella was saying to him whilst he continued to sleep and rest off his war wounds - he could hear the muffling, and an ever so well described situation of his love, and her path to self destruction, and needlessly putting herself in harms way. This was one of his biggest fears; that Isabella would go on a hell bent path leading to her own demise, and now knowing the knowledge that she'd lost another right hand. It was time for him to wake, open his eyes and see his love crouched over the bed, smiling at him always, with those big brown eyes that made him loose track of time all those months ago.

Elias opened his eyes and picked up Isabella's hand before kissing it. It was half as a sign of respect, the other half a sign of his never-ending love for Miss Luciano. 'Thank you for being here for so long, and keeping me safe. I know what you and Stephen have done, the risk that you've taken in nursing me back to health, and I want to tell you how much I appreciate it...I have a surprise for you too..'

Elias began to shuffle himself in the bed upright, slapped his knees to bring some life into them before pulling each leg forward to the side of the bed, very gingerly he dropped them like dead weights on the floor before holding out both of his hands. Isabella gripped them tight and Elias used a rocking motion to bring himself forwards and onto his feet - the first time Isabella - or anyone had seen it.

'This is the first time I've been on my feet for over 3 weeks' Elias said with his legs still trembling, getting used to the weight being put back upon them once again. 'I'm on the road to recovery, and I've been exercising in this room quite a lot if I'm being honest. I'm feeling better every day, stronger everyday. I can't wait until I'm able to walk with you again Izzy'

He kissed her forehead before his legs gave way and he dropped back onto the bed in a seated position. Elias chuckled to himself and said 'I'll be running your crew operation before you know it dear. You know how much I love you, and our family. Let me serve you again...If you'll have me.'

It was as if he'd woke up.  She hadn't realized he was sleeping!  Had he heard anything she said?  She felt lost for a moment as he insisted that he knew all she and Stephen had done for him.  Isabella shook her head, "We didn't do anything you wouldn't have done for us, Eli."  She said trying to reassure him.

As Elias forced himself to come to a standing position she couldn't help it.  Her face broke out in a wide and heartfelt grin.  He was going to live, better still, he might have a hope of returning to his full physical health with enough time.  His ability to stand now, it would mean for certain it was time for he father to become involved. 

The last thing she wanted was to put him into her father's care but she knew the older Luciano would never trust he hadn't flipped without spending time with him first.  The good news was that her father seemed more concerned with Elias' well-being than with anything else.  That, she had to admit, was a rarity.  Perhaps it was because with his blessing for them to marry came the acceptance of Elias as part of his blood family - a son he never had.

He kissed her forehead, as he used to do, and then fell back to the bed with a laugh.  The act felt respectful, protective, and loving... but endearing in the same way it felt when her father kissed her forehead.  Why had she never compared the two before?  Had he changed?  Had she?  Elias had kissed her forehead a thousand times in their relationship and never once had it felt anything other than sweet and maybe even a prelude to more intimate acts.  Elias didn't feel 'fatherly' to her, sure he'd always been her bear - one moment sweet and tender and the next a raging creature of power that was hers to direct as she needed, but not fatherly.  

"I'll be running your crew operation before you know it dear."  His words snapped her out of her own thoughts.  

Running my crew?

"You know how much I love you, and our family. Let me serve you again...If you'll have me."

He must have heard everything I said, even in his state.  She drew a breath not realizing she'd given him the hope that she'd instantly restore his standing in the crew - a crew who, aside from Stephen, still thought he was dead because she wouldn't risk one of them being a rat and coming to finish the job of killing Elias.

"Slow down now, you're running before you can walk."  She said coming down beside him.  "Elias, I figured out who ordered you kidnapped.  Do you remember the night on the bridge when you first kissed me?  The agent who gave us trouble, the one my father handled?" 

Seeing from the look on his face that he did she continued.  "I know where Agent Garrett is and while we have enough reasons to figure him for the whole thing... my father hasn't ever left him unwatched, even after he walked away from Garrett ... so you see... our men never reported Garrett being involved.  Even though we know he was and so, that means they're dirty.  Somehow Garrett got to the men watching him and who knows how many others my, my father's, hell maybe even Marie's operations."

She shook her head, "I've had to keep your presence a secret from even the crew.  Only my father, Marie, Stephen, and my suitors even know you're alive and each of them is well aware that we're probably compromised.  My father, actually, is insisting that today you go to stay at his home where his doctors can finish nursing you back to health.  He's brought in a specialist actually - he's spared no expense because in his mind, you're family and you deserve the best he can give you."

"In the meantime, he's ordered me to use outside resources to hunt down everyone who was responsible, everyone who has turned on the family and bring them in.  We have a plan but it's going to take days, who knows for sure how many, but more than a few to complete.  If we rush in and take Garrett first to question him I'm afraid his allies will disappear and I don't want that.  I need them thinking they're safe and that we have no idea what they did.  The longer they feel safe the more likely we are to catch everyone who directly and indirectly was involved."

She paused considering her words carefully, "Having you back at my Right-Hand would be ideal.  I've never trusted anyone the way I trust you Elias... even after everything.  However, you need to focus on your health.  If you want to get back in the saddle... keep working on walking, rebuilding your muscle mass, and strength.  I need you fit and strong before I could consider that and before you can either."

"I know I just dumped a lot of information on you and maybe you don't think that any of it will bother you so much that you couldn't do the job well - but there will be times where our personal relationship and your duties as right hand will collide.  We should consider all those details before I offer and you accept.  But first... you need to finish getting well."

She took his hand again.  "Other than catching these bastards, is there anything you need?  Say the word and I'll part the seas and bring you anything at all.  Favorite foods, creature comforts... if it's mine to give, it's yours to ask."

Elias took a deep breath before releasing Isabella's hand that he held onto ever so tightly...he slowly turned towards her, looked her in the eyes and said 'plural' - a little puzzled Don Luciano looked extremely confused at to what Elias was talking about...but he said the word again .... 'plural'

'So there's more....more than one. You said the only people who know are Godfather Luciano, Godfather Lucania, my brother in arms....and suitors? I briefly remember you speaking about a gentleman called Will just now - but there's obviously more than him, and more than me. You speak of your grief, and you couldn't mourn me forever, and I respect that decision - I would do the same. But you've obviously moved on pretty fucking quickly haven't you. Is it two - or is it more? We were engaged to be married only six months ago, and between then and now you've grieved - and had at least two other relationships. Did I mean anything to you?'

'If I had more strength in my limbs I'd be walking straight out of this door and never come back. You know what Izzy.... I wish I never did come back. I should of started a new life, as far away from here as possible. I'm so fucking angry right now you have no idea what you've done. You were my everything, I fucking bled for this family, and you. I was there when you needed it most, and it's not even the fact you've found someone else - I expected that when you put my grandmothers ring back in the palm of my hand....it's the fact there's been more than one!'

Elias wiped away a tear half of sadness, the other of somewhat blameless betrayal.

'You've broken my heart and my will to carry on.'

Isabella stared at Elias, eyes brimming with tears.  She swallows the lump in her throat.

 “You’re angry.”  She says in a hoarse whisper..  “I’ll... I’ll let my father know you’re ready to be moved whenever his doctors have arrived.”  Her chin fell to her chest, cheeks flush with hurt and embarrassment.

”I’ll respect your feelings... you’ll  know where I am if your feelings change.”  She goes to the door and in a quiet voice says, “For what it’s worth I hope you realize that if things had been different, I never would’ve betrayed you. I’m sorry that you’re hurt and I’m even more sorry that I’m the one who did it.”

With that Isabella left closing the door behind her.