“Stars may fade but the light lives on somewhere.

Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean it isn’t there.”

- Lee W Barker, 2019

It had been weeks now. Aquila’s fingers trace the old linen lining the cozy, perfumed bed that stay positioned besides her. Gently, scarcely, as if letting the linen go would mean losing it forever. She’d been trying to hold on to a memory, one that guided her through her childhood, through America, through her home. The scent of the memory still lingered in the cheap bottles on the polished dresser, a pine wood that was loved dearly. Aquila took a deep breath, trying to situate the exact smell in her mind. Fruity, yet sweet. Like summer days at the berry farm where children compared the size of the juicy delights, like spring days where nowhere was more home than a rusted swingset. Memories are such trivial things. Things that remind people of the past, of something no human can run from.

A picture still sat on the bedside. Broken with age, but still standing. It showed sisters, linked arms and big grins. It showed happiness, it showed where Aquila wished she could be. In the arms of a loved one, in the arms of a distant memory. Aquila shifted her position, allowing her hair shift over her shoulder and cascade down her back in tangled waves as she took in the room. It wouldn’t be long now until it all was gone. Biting down a sob Aquila tenderly pushed herself off the bed now, her gaze settling on the cardboard box that taunted her across the room, begging her to move on, to force away whatever relics lay ridden in her path. Patting down her lace-ridden, primrose dress Aquila fought the urge to sneer back at the inanimate object, instead opting to distract herself to make her figure seem proper. She could not mourn when she could not admit the memories demise.

She moved as if she was a doll to a young girls playhouse, stiff, emotionless. She was the puppet to a stage show, forced to perform her duties despite the overwhelming circumstances. Photographs were tenderly placed into the box, followed by clothes, by perfumes. Bit by bit presence was erased. Guns were packed and ready to be returned, knives were sheathed. She didn’t dare touch the markings on the wall, or the notes left in her bottom draw. Packing up the memory, encasing it in a tomb before everything could be lost and thrown away. She barely blinked as she pushed the box closed. Picking it up as if it carried only the most delicate supplies. The name scratched out on the top of the box posed the closure to her memory, the closure to a chapter in her past. And the start to a new one.

“Vela’s Things” It read, barely legible in the harsh light of their past lives. A door was opened as she shuffled outwards. Twilight encased the exterior of their past, stars aglow with momentous light. If only Aquila could enjoy it’s glorious twinkle.

A truck sat in the driveway, large and full of memoirs and forget-me-nots. Stools that were once sat on while secrets were whispered in the harsh night of summers glares, tables that once held family secrets so tightly as pen met paper, as voice was interpreted into notes. Everything held precious significance. Everything had to go.

Aquila turned now, her gaze setting on the group of people outside her house. Faces she’d barely known. Faces that had known Vela closely, faces that held context for her, but not for Aquila. She regarded them like an actress, like she was supposed to. She was supposed to hand them Vela’s things so they could be loaded into the truck and taken to her mothers. She was supposed to move in to the tower.

There were many things Aquila was supposed to do in this situation, but allowing the memories to escape through her eyes and pool down her face was not one of them. Like a shooting star they were unexpected, they were rare. Unsolicited Tears, they were. The trail they left sparkled like the starlight above them as Aquila clung to Vela’s things, Stubborn to let go of the memory as she stared at all the faces before her.  It had been weeks now, why couldn’t Aquila let go?

“P…Please…”

Her eyes pleaded with those before her. Vela’s friends, her acquaintances who had been generous enough to help her move out at such short notice. Aquila was so grateful. She was so grateful. She was…

Losing it. A choked gasp left Aquila’s lips, the sobs starting to escape. She fell to the floor, unable to get a grip on her mental wellbeing.  She couldn’t put two and two together. Her star, her Vela, her everything. Her sister…

Aquila needed help. The box. The stability. The house.

Would you be kind enough to provide it?

A little more. 

Just a little further... and Luna would be close to home. 

Luna had heard of a girl who was very close to her cousin, Vela. Her sister, actually. Normally, this would be the part where Luna would happily reunite with her and exchange friendly greetings followed by sorrows - but Luna felt particularly... nervous - to meet her. Not because they were both strangers, but because Luna was basically taking a walk down memory lane, and didn't quite know how to deal with her emotions when the memories of Vela would start coming back. 

Upon arrival, Luna was surprised to see many other people that had come to send their condolences and help out with the moving of furniture from the house. Most of it was Vela's, and there was a box specifically labelled as 'Vela's Things'. Luna thought she would be strong throughout this whole experience, but the simple sight of Vela's name made Luna want to fall down to the ground and break down in anguish. 

But it seemed as though someone already beat her to it. 

“P…Please…”

Some people turned their heads in shock. Luna stood frozen in her tracks as she witnessed the outcry of a seemingly broken and damaged girl. Without a moment of hesitation, Luna moved forward and put a gentle, reassuring hand on the small of the unknown woman's back. Realizing who it was by the postcards sent by Vela during their younger years, she smiled softly and searched for a sense of... hope in her eyes. 

Slowly, but surely - Luna helped the girl get back up on her feet. She almost was about to cry with her from how much the other girl's hands were shaking. It shook with fear, worry, and heartache. Those same things Luna had been feeling as well, but never expressed it in this way. 

People began to look away now as they saw Luna was helping her out. It was bit of a selfish move by them - just standing and observing, but Luna had no place to assume. They could be just as broken as her. Everyone needed time, Luna guessed - to mourn for a close friend or loved one. Although time - can only heal some wounds, and not all. The ones that can't be healed will have to just heal over connections. Love and loyalty. 

Connections, as in - people you interact with everyday. Seeing someone for the first time is the first step to making a connection. Only through soft spoken words and an open heart that you can start to -connect-. As Luna observed the timid girl in front of her, she yearned for a happy voice spoken through her. Even just a subtle look of calmness instead of grief would relieve Luna as she felt extremely sorry and more in pain about the death of Vela. 

Luna did what she thought would be right. She raised her arm gently and touched the girl's chin with her thumb and index finger, lifting it up so Luna would be able to see all of her face clearly, before using her other hand to wipe away the tears that had formed under her emotionally dull eyes. 

She waited for the girl's breathing to go back to its normal pace and her shoulders to relax. Don't lose sight of the people willing to care for you, Luna kept thinking to herself over and over again - but quickly felt dumb when she realized brain-signalling wasn't a real thing. 

Nevertheless, when the moment started to feel right - Luna began to speak in a pleasantly subdued manner. 

"Aquila right? I-.. I'm Luna. Vela's cousin. I.. was aware she had a sister. Nice to meet you. Please dont shed those tears no more. I'll do whatever I can to help you in this time of grief. I know that I, myself, will need a little motivation push to get back into my usual routines..."

Everybody was cold, dismissive of the girl who’s iron will shattered into a million shards before their very eyes. Gaggles of whimpers left her lips as she gasped over a wound that had never really healed. Her body tremored with every noise that encased her sorrow, and she forced herself to bite back a scream as she was hauled up by an unknown face.

Calm, Aquila. Was that the unknowns body language was saying. But all Aquila was hearing what that she had to suddenly stop expressing her emotion because it was making others exert their pity, all she heard when her chin was propped up was her husbands curses as he forced himself upon her yet again.

Her heart quickened, fear coursing through her veins. Who was this stranger, and what did they want with her? Was this some demon Marco sent after her?  Aquila couldn’t comprehend the kindness, the girl trying to ensure she was okay. All she saw was the basement she slept, the mouldy sheets, the fist before it came in contact with her stomach.

So much emotion, so much remorse. Aquila went limp in the girl’s grasp, her wriggling and sobbing crashing to a halt. Exerted, and vulnerable. Terrified, and filled with unshakable misery. Vela was able to keep her calm, protect her from the thoughts, from the predators. From her past. Her limp body shook in Luna’s arms, fear apparent in her large, terrified eyes. Aquila couldn’t hear Luna’s words over her thoughts, and opted to do what prey have done for years.

What Aquila had done for years.

“…”

Submit to ensure safety.

Her fearful face was all it took for Luna to give into her will of making sure there would be no more tears to shed. "..You can talk to me about anything. Please don't be afraid. I really wish I had met you sooner. Both you and Vela. You don't understand how happy I am to see you right now, but how can I be happy when you are in this state? Cheer up, lovie." Luna whispered in a gentle manner, and let her words linger in the air as she looked down at Aquila, whose body she wanted to hold tight to her own.

She felt like she had a duty of care to her now, but Luna understood that maybe she was contributing to her overwhelming emotions. First time meeting a long lost cousin was... shocking - to say the least. 

When she realized that her small gesture seemed to worsen Aquila's state of mind, she took her hands off but hoped her touch would linger there for a while as a reminder of her genuine care. Luna looked into her eyes and saw terror - the causes of it were clear. Luna popping out of nowhere to come pay respects for a dead cousin, the box, and whatever else that may have been on Aquila's mind at the moment. 

It was hard to tell what the future would hold, but Luna hoped she would be with Aquila for that, or at least develop a bond with her. Everything seemed to move in slow motion, as people huddled around each other in mourning and others who were trying to help move the furniture out into the truck. 

"Please. I'm here now. Let me comfort you in this time of grief," Luna rested her arms by her sides and looked at Aquila longingly, "Do you have another place to stay at? I can drive you there? Or a close friend to visit? I could also drive you to my own apartment-.." 

Luna didn't want to sound like a predator, although it seemed to come off that way, and she quickly corrected her speech. She giggled nervously and shook her head before looking at the ground. Luna looked up again and pursed her lips. "..We don't have to do any of that if you don't want to. I don't know what your next move is though, but you can't be alone for the next few nights. I'm not allowing it. You need someone to help you through the tough times."

Alone. The word coerced through the girl’s mind. Dread, insincerity, a fear of nothingness. Aquila’s dark eyes never moved from the ground, and her body shook with every word the person before her spoke. Words of comfort taken in like a shot of liquid manipulation. Misinterpretation was her minds best friend. The person was going to take her somewhere. She was going to take her in a car.

…She?

A women, not a man. Not Marco. Aquila’s breathing quickened. Her forehead scrunched in utter confusion and terror. She was going to take her.

“…Storage unit…”

Aquila’s petrified whisper fought itself out from between her teeth before the shaken girl could think any longer. She had planned to go to the tower, but she’d be with people there. People who would demean her, who loved her but wouldn’t understand her grief when grief was dismissed past them so easily. The solution for Aquila was simple. A small 20 x 20 unit meant for storage surrounded by things that reminded her of home, things that could easily be taken, be stolen, be infested.

Things she couldn’t bring with her to the future, but didn’t want to dismiss.

Home, safety, security, none of those existed in Aquila’s world anymore. It was shrouded in terror, in unnecessary pain. Her eyes meekly raised upwards to meet the woman’s, finding humble sincerity in their familiar warm trance, however she identified a fieriness that was similar… similar to the man she used to know…

Who was this girl? She bore no resemblance to Vela. Was she the next Marco? Was she the next person who’d take her in, trap her in a basement, scold her with blood and malicious needles, tell her who she’s supposed who be and who she can’t be? Who…

“…Who?”

Was she?

Aquila tensed up again. She hadn’t meant to vocalise her thoughts, not in this situation, not in front of… a stranger. That’s who she was. Thoughts tumbled and swirled around in her mind, in a haunting melody of conspicuous conspiracy. Giving in came easy to Aquila, submitting to ensure her own security amidst unspeakable peril. But giving up was not ever an option.

She stared up at the women who’s eyes shone with a striking resemblance to Aquila’s own and more tears flee from their stubborn captors. She’d have to give in to this women, she was strange, her words were chilling, perhaps even sincere but… nobody merely stumbles upon somebody like her in a place like this, in such an impeccable situation. Was it staged? Was it a ploy?

Aquila was sure the girl was a pretender. She had no knowledge of a cousin, of a person Vela spoke to. She didn’t have the signature family nose, her eyes weren’t doe enough. Excuses fired at her accusatory thoughts, provoking outrage in the terrified girl’s mind.

What was Aquila to do but allow this women to take her, and hurt her. Aquila was used to it. Aquila needed familiarity.

And if this women was going to hurt her? To stab her? To bruise her?

It was a welcome past time that Aquila was once frighteningly used to. Without Vela… It’s obviously the next best option. Follow this strange women into captivity, to her apartment… It was the only liable intent Aquila could think of without breaking down completely.

And so, with a shaky whimper, Aquila outstretched her trembling palm towards the stranger.

“…Familiarity, tolong.”

Luna watched intently as the damsel in distress reached out her palm, which seemed to tremble with worry and fear - but of what? Luna didn't think there was anything to be so scared about, but then again - she was so focused on trying to lift Aquila's spirits up and take her home, that she seemed to dismiss the fact that this must be completely overwhelming for the young lass. 

She could try and dig deep into the depths of her mind, but truly - Luna could not find, and did not wish to find - any reasons for ever intending to hurt her. 

It should've been obvious though, right? I have been nothing but nice. Luna thought to herself, but regretted letting the ignorant idea cloud up her judgement. Ultimately, she just wanted to let Aquila know that she understood her current situation and only wished for her to - not forget - but continue to move forward despite the sudden and mournful death of her beloved sister.

Additionally, Luna couldn't help but feel slightly conflicted between how she wanted to portray herself versus the image of an unexpected stranger, that she presumed Aquila had painted of her in her head. 

Vela would have wanted that for her. 

Her mind started to drift off to places unknown, until the voice she had been trying to familiarize herself with suddenly filled the air.

“Who?” 

Luna raised her eyebrows as her eyes swiftly turned back to Aquila's face, and noticed her tense movements as a result of the question she didn't think Aquila was meant to say. Such an interrogative word that wasn't meant to be murmured. Luna could not think of an immediate response and shook her head at the confusion that entered her mind. Luna's eyes unintentionally reflected the same vibe that the word was giving off. 

A hard, interrogative stare was all that Luna could make at that moment. But in an attempt to relieve herself of the worries about how she was presenting herself towards her long lost cousin, Luna's fingers intertwined with Aquila's open-handed gesture and let the magic of the moment take over. 

"You be strong now, okay? Just try hun. Do it for Vela." Luna smiled in a suggestive manner and helped Aquila back up from the ground - ready to fight off any disturbances that may come her way during this time of healing. She wasn't quite sure what they'd get up to upon arrival at her apartment though. 

As Luna walked with Aquila back to her car, she told her to wait a few minutes so she could talk with the movers about the furniture, knowing that she might want to keep some of the stuff that she may hold sentimental to her still. "I'll be back. Just sit in the passenger seat while I let the transport guys get word of my address so they can drop off some of the stuff. That sounds good?"