Isabella entered the small cafe far from Race Street Pier just after noon wearing large sunglasses and dark-colored clothing. Her bodyguards waited with the car.  Isabella was meeting with a woman who had more than enough protection for them both, her step-mother, Godmother Marie.  

Having a Step-Mother was hard enough... having her be the most powerful Godfather in the whole country was another matter entirely.  You did not piss off a woman like this and you sure as hell didn't call in a rain check on a lunch date because you'd been drinking until about four hours ago... all night... excessively.

Isabella tried to hide the scent of alcohol, but she didn't want to smell like a French perfume shop.  There was no real avoiding that the woman would read her like an open book, but to not try and hide it would be insulting.  So... they would play this game, because it was required.  It's what you did.  And she was sure, by the end of lunch, she would be contemplating a permanent move to Canada.  Anything to get her out of Godmother Marie's reach... 

It was just a lunch... how bad could it be?

Isabella smiled at Marie and came to sit at her table, briefly giving her a kiss on either cheek and sparing a smile for Aurora not wanting the baby to get drunk just from the smell of her.

"Good morning, Marie."

Marie sat looking out the window of the cafe wearing a simple blue sun dress with white poke-a-dots. It was a beautiful, sunny day outside.  Perhaps after lunch with her step-daughter, she would take Aurora to a nearby park for a stroll.  She had hired another nanny to help with the baby, but never would either left alone.  There was a dedicated man on the nanny and Perin was permanently assigned to Aurora.   Still with the nanny, Marie tried to keep the baby with her whenever she could.  If it had been possible she would never allow the baby to leave her sights again.  However, that would mean giving up her city, her title, and most of the power and protection she had amassed.  

Hearing the cafe door open she looked up to Isabella enter and she smiled.  Between the sunglasses and the smell of alcohol that rolled off of the younger woman, it did not take a genius to connect the dots.  The fight yesterday had been a catalysis that apparently lead to a night filled with drinking.  So things are not as settled as she would like them to seem, Marie thought to herself.

"Good Afternoon Isabella," she said placing an emphasis on the afternoon part.  The godmother also did not spare her a quiet voice, but spoke in normal conversation tone.  It was Marie's opinion that one most be willing to accept the consequences of ones actions.  "Have a rough night?" 

Isabella winced at Marie's volume.  "Oh, you know... lots of folks expecting me to spend time with them... lots of toasts."  She rubbed her head blinking.  

"A Don's work is never done."  She sighed.  "You look pretty today.  Will you be in Philly for a long visit?"  She asked the waitress, quietly, for a cup of coffee - black.  What she needed, however, was a little hair of the dog.

Marie ordered a salad and a glass of water and then returned to her conversation with Isabella once the waitress went to fulfill the orders.  "No I am just in town for a day or two.  This is mostly a relationship building trip.  Jack Mezzo invited me to experience the fighting and to visit the city."  Marie considered her daughter for a moment.  "I imagine the fight was a rather awkward experience for you."

"Made me wish I had never come up with the damn idea, to begin with."  She said sipping her coffee.  "Should have known that anything Tyler Durden had a lock on was nothing but trouble for me to try to improve.  Of course, who knew that Gavin and William would end up in the same ring together... or that things would work out as they have."

She shook her head.  "I'm not sure how much Dad told you about my interests out here but I designed and built Purgatory and the fights... that's my doing too, at least on the back end.  Jack Mezzo has taken over as a face of it - him and William both I suppose."

The woman was being particular closed mouthed on the obvious elephant that was stampeding through the room.  However, Marie was determined.  She knew Isabella would not discuss these kind of things with her father and Marie did not believe she had anyone else to confined in that did not have a horse in the race.  So blunt the conversation would have to be...  

"So how is Elias?  He was still near his death bed last I saw him."

"He's up and about, in fact, I had pie at a cafe with him the other day.  I've taken him back into my crew and made him a Captain."  She said with a nod.  "And he's accepted his Grandmother's ring back.  I've let my father know the engagement between us has ended."  She sipped her coffee.  So, this was it.  Marie had come to inquire about her personal life.  Well, perhaps it was best to rip the band-aid off.

"William and I are no longer seeing each other and I am exclusively dating Gavin Byrne.  I'm sure you remember Gavin from the poker games?"  She added a bit of sugar to her bitter coffee.

"I really can't thank you enough for sending him aid to help me in Jamaica.  If you'd seen the place I was in..."  She shudders.  "You'd know why I had such a long night last night.  I'm afraid I haven't been quite myself of late."

Marie placed her elbow on the table and leaned her chin on the back of her hand.  She actively listened to the woman and tried to see beyond the words she was speaking.

"I suppose not being one's self might be a reason to begin drinking in excess.  You never was one to drink much before.  What has you so unsettled."

Isabella exhaled a breath she didn't realize she was holding.  "Thinking a lot about all this peace we've enjoyed... about how quickly everything we have can be gone.  I did just face a lot of that... a hell-hole of a prison in a 3rd world country, the worry for Aurora, Elias returning to me & watching what we had be consumed in fiery anger and pain, nearly losing Gavin not just once but twice in as many weeks, and William."  She said William's name quieter.  She didn't want to talk about William.  Not today & maybe not at all.

"So much shit has happened in such a small amount of time I feel like my life has been spinning utterly out of control and the only thing that's felt close to solid in it all has been Gavin."  She shook her head.  "I just wish we weren't living in different cities.  Of course, that's a hotbed of worries and fears right there and a reason to drink all on its own.  So yea... I could go for another drink even right now."

"Well I would never be one to fault someone for turning to a bottle.  Lord knows I have done it myself on many an occasion.  Usually it was when your father sensed that I needed a good release about something I was keeping bottled up inside.  He would bring over a couple of bottles of whiskey and we would drink together until it finally all came out.  No matter what it was, we would face it honestly together.  Even when it was things that were uncomfortable to talk about..." Marie paused a moment and then added, " even when it dealt with the other man."

Just then the waitress arrived at the table with Isabella's coffee and Marie salad.  It gave them both a moment to reflect on things.

"Gavin is that way for me too."  She said with a smile.  "He's ... strong enough to shoulder that sort of thing.  I mean, he is my sounding board.  He never seems to judge me for whatever craziness is rattling around in my skull.  He just ... listens."  She said with a warm smile behind her large sunglasses.

"He was the first person to really hear me when I had to get the crap out of my head about Elias and when Elias came back, he was there for me again.  I don't know what I would have done without him in my life during all these insanities."  She chuckled.  "I guess it really is true that Gavin and Dad are quite alike... the more I think about it the more things seem to come up.  How crazy is that?"

Marie nodded.  "There are obviously similarities between Gavin and your father.  I think it is quite common for us to be attracted to quality that our fathers have.  I know there are many similarities between your father and my father."  Marie took a bite of her salad and then asked, "So what are you upset about that you are not talking to Gavin about?" 

Isabella tilted her head to the side and removed her sunglasses.  Her eyes narrowed to slits, her brow furrowed.  "I'm sorry... but... what do you mean?"

Marie forked a piece of tomato and took another bite.  Swallowing the bite she paused and looked at Isabella with a "are we really going to do this?" look.

"Isabella, if you were talking with Gavin about everything then there would be nothing still upsetting you.  Instead you are still needing to lose yourself in a bottle all the time so what is it?  You don't have to talk to me about it if you don't want to, but you need to talk to someone.  Why not let it be me?"

Isabella looked down.  "I love Gavin."  She said bluntly.  "I don't doubt that.  Not one ... little ... bit."  

"Yes, but?"  Marie pushed.

Isabella was silent for a long while, looking sadly at the clouds in her coffee, she whispered.  "I'm scared. I'm so fucking scared."  Her lip trembled and her eyes watered so much so she put her sunglasses back on again to hide her tears.  A thousand reasons for fear raced through her mind.

"I feel like I'm a constant bundle of thoughts and worries and it never stops.  Always second guessing myself and feeling like I'm failing everyone.  I don't know how to stop feeling this way.  I thought I was getting my life back on track before Elias turned up.  I was going have some fun with Gavin, let his fire burn every bit of Elias out of my heart and mind, and then marry William who I'd bring home to Detroit with me and it would all turn out fine."

She shook her head, "But then... it all exploded.  Elias was alive, Gavin and I fell in love, and even if we hadn't... William became a Don could never come to Detroit and I will never be in Philly... all these bits of what was and what could have been have embedded themselves in the wreckage of my fucking life like shrapnel and no one around me is immune to the collateral damage which is my life."

"I hurt everyone and everything I care about... no matter what I do.  And everyone just expects me to keep smiling, keep paying bills and keep showing up.  So... I'm here, a smile on, pockets full.  I'll find a husband like my father wants, one I can actually bring home and I'll run my crew as good as anyone ever has.  At the end of the day... that's what they need.  So it's what I'll do... but, I don't know that there is much left for me in all this.  Stolen moments, hopes for joy but who knows ... I have these constant fears that it will all disappear with one well-placed bullet."

Marie put her fork down and lean back.  So here it was.  Isabella's words rung like a distant memory in the godmother's mind.  Maybe she was not so different as her daughter after all.

"Isabella listen very carefully.  I want to teach you something your father taught me to do a long time ago.  Take it one step at a time.  Don't worry about the future.  Today has enough concerns on its own.  Just deal with what is in front of you, one step at a time.  You make the best decision that you can from what you know, take your step, then decide your next step.

Now I am not saying don't think ahead.  We have to think ahead, especially if we are to stay a step ahead of our enemies, but there is a difference from thinking ahead and worrying ahead.  Worrying ahead solves nothing, in fact it can often cause more problems because we let the fear influence the decisions we are making in the presence.  In my experience, the decisions I make out of fear for tomorrow, never turn out good for me."

Marie paused and smiled at Isabella with pride.  "You are a great crew leader because you place duty above your own personal desires, but you have to remember there needs to be a balance there.  Your duty is not just to sacrifice yourself over and over again.  You crew needs all of you.  That includes your passions.  They need you to live because you are your family's heart beat, it's life blood.  Give yourself permission to live from time to time."

Marie leans forward, "On the matter of you hurting everyone you care about, I call hog wash on."   Sitting up straight again she continued, "Every single one of use risk getting hurt every time we reach out to make a relationship with someone.  We know the dangers.  Elias, William, Gavin... they are all stronger than you give them credit.  They each entered into a relationship with you knowing there was a potential to be hurt, yet they chose to do it any way.  That is because the risk is worth it.  It is always worth it. We gain something from every relationship we have.  Those people influence us, change us, shape us into the people we become.  There is value in that even if there is hurt... sometimes because of the hurt. "

Marie leans back again, "Think of it like this.  When a fighter trains for a fight, they take a few bruises and they push their muscles until they ache.  It can hurt like hell, but they become stronger for it."

Marie softened her tone and smiled sympathetically,  "It is not your job to protect them, Isabella." 

"I know."  she admitted quietly.  "Logically, I know what you're saying is true and I'm trying." 

She nodded to herself.  "I chose Gavin and I'm here to work things out with William... one way or another.  If things are too painful I'll sign the gym over to him and walk away.  I don't want to make him suffer that way, he doesn't deserve that and I'd rather lose every dime I put into this project than cause him a moment of pain."

"Things won't be so raw eventually,"  she admitted to herself and to Marie.  "Maybe it's just this fight, and the need for time.  I mean, I didn't walk away from William because of anything bad, so it's hard to pretend there wasn't anything but happiness between us & love for his part.  As for me... I love Gavin, but I didn't hate William.  As a matter of a fact, I care deeply for William still and maybe in another lifetime that would have become a very joyful union, which I know Gavin and William both aware of, and that makes things difficult but it wasn't ever intentional."

"We all knew what this was - I didn't lie to them.  I was as honest as I could be and I wouldn't undo a moment of our times together.  In fact, I think about my time with William often." A soft smile tugged on the corner of her lips even as she talked about this problematic thing in her life.

"My mother used to tell me that a woman's heart was a treasure chest full of secrets she couldn't share... I never got that until now.  And you're right when you say there are some things I don't share with Gavin... not because he doesn't know them, I'm sure he's well aware there are special moments I'll always treasure which I shared with William, but there would be no point to telling Gavin every time William snuck into my thoughts."

"In truth, Gavin knows too much about some of my special moments with William."  She said, her smile fading.  "I'm afraid some of my former bodygards may have played a cruel trick on Gavin - preferring William to him."  she shook her head.  "The night I was with William at the Tower... the put Gavin in a room for a time where he heard us together."

She picked up her coffee and sipped, "And even still, he doesn't hate William.  He thinks of him as a brother.  The truth is I hated that fucking fight because those men love each other despite all the reasons they have to despise each other.  And if Gavin had won last night it would have been salt in William's wounds and a kick to his pride he didn't deserve... and if William had won last night it would have only been for ego and revenge that he didn't really want or need.  Those men shouldn't fight one another." 

She shook her head in disgust.  "Ever.  And God forbid something should ever happen to me... I know damn well they'd comfort each other the way only family can and that's the part that gets me most Marie... THAT.  I don't want to see that die either and with William promising not to give up on us, I'm afraid that in time that hope turns to bitterness and hate.  That all that's good between them and between William and I could wither and die on the vine."

"And so,"  She said softly.  "I'm thinking of encouraging a couple single women who I love and respect to cross paths with William.  To encourage him to move on."

The time was lunchtime, and I guess that rumble I am hearing was my stomach. There was a cafe near, so I walked in and who do I see ?  Don Isabella and GFC Marie. They looked deep in a serious conversation, so I just left them to it. I sorta waved non chalantly. I did not want to make it seem like I am what was that called...eavesdropping, placing a glass on the wall...bugger! Listening in.  Don Isabella looked like she was going to a funeral dressed in black with the sunglasses. She did seem somewhat off lately.. maybe I should sto in and see her in her office today when I got back to the HQ.

I found a great sunny window seat, and ordered coffee while I tried to decide. I was in GFC 's crew before coming to Don Isabella's. I love them both, both are great ladies to me. It was nice to still be family to GFC, and still work for her, and see her out and about. I usually did not see her often, so if I am now , it must be something. I drank my coffee and had it refilled, they do make good coffee here. I tried not to think of what was near me, and focus on my sunny view out of the window....watching people walking by.