Isabella waited for William in the early hours of the morning in the gym.  It was closed today, Sunday.  She knew she wanted to meet him here rather than in his office.  This place felt ... safer somehow.  A visual reminder of what this meeting was really about so that she didn't get things twisted.

In her purse, she had the title for the gym.  If things took a bad turn, she was prepared to sign it over to him, but in her heart of hearts, she knew she didn't want that.  She knew she wanted a reason to see William still, to laugh and joke with him, and to generally enjoy his company.  William Bowden was a gem and he'd saved her life, that was no small thing.

She wore slacks today, and a button down blouse, a more masculine look than she normally went in for but she thought maybe looking tougher, instead of feminine was safer.  He might not feel so... tested.  She might not feel so ... exposed.

She heard the door open.  Her guards didn't say anything so she knew it had to be him.  She began speaking, staring at the photo titled 'pride' ... "I think this one is my favorite.  The look in her eyes.  It's absolutely the essence of her sin."  She didn't look away from the photo.  The less she had to look at him in the beginning, the easier it might be for them to get their bearings.

"She wears it well. The confidence of the sin can make her absolutely beautiful, but it also blinds her. She's got a lot in common with the folks in our line of work."

As much as William had wanted this meeting as a chance to straighten things out with Isabella he had to admit that he was dreading it in equal measure. After she chose Gavin he'd all but given her a cold shoulder, not because he wanted her to leave but out of carelessness borne of his own hurt. Her words now and the image of Pride made him think of his own selfish choices and how they must have wreaked havoc on her as well. She'd been in no better condition leaving the day she chose than he was.

"To be fair though, she appears to have a fair bit to be proud of. Though that could just be my favorite speaking."

William didn't miss that Isabella hadn't turned to look at him. He couldn't blame her and decided not to push the issue, instead moving to the photo "Envy". The one pictured here was a mix of admiration and desire touched with spite. He let the sense of the picture wash over him along with a sense of guilt for how much he could empathize. He let none of it show today.

"How have you been Isabella?"

"A wreck."  She admitted.  "I want to apologize to you for my behavior on fight night.  I was abysmal, a drunken wretch and ... you didn't deserve that any more than anyone else in my company."

She finally looked at him, staring up at envy.  The irony wasn't lost on her.  He did envy Gavin, there was no doubt, and if she was being honest it was probably for more than her alone.  William was such a good person that he couldn't even see all the reasons someone like Gavin would live his days in envy of a man like Will.

"I brought Elias back into my crew officially this week.  He's up and walking around.  I'm glad to say things are... better between us, if still odd."  She said shaking her head and looking at the floor.  "I think it will take time for us to figure out how to be Don and Enforcer again.  I wish I could say that I buried what I feel for him in light of things - but I'd be a shameful liar and I see no point in that."

"So, I told him if that if we were going to work together we had to know what it was between us... and even if our feelings said otherwise, we had to work past it.  If we couldn't then, well, I was prepared to let him go to my Father's crew.  Seems my dad is still very fond of him, which is good I suppose in light of all that's happened."

She stole a glance at Will as he watched Envy's unblinking face and asked, "And how have you been fairing?"

William slowly exhaled a breath he hadn't even realized he was holding. He was glad to hear that Elias was getting back to a good place. Even though they'd never met, he knew that Elias had suffered a great deal and lost even more in his life. It was a testament to his strength that he'd come through it all.

He was beginning to understand how the man must have felt. William couldn't shake the feeling that the update on Elias was something Isabella hoped to mimic here as well, even if the situation was slightly different. Here they'd be partners, not a subordinate and their leader, and if no tolerable state could be found they'd have a much harder time putting space. Even without the Gym, her relationship with Gavin would bring her to the Pier frequently and they'd almost certainly run into one another. William was sure that neither of them really wanted that.

"Surviving on whiskey, cigarettes, and momentum. I've been wrapped up in enough ventures that I barely have time to really think about things. When I do I go to the gym and tire myself out until I can't think any more."

Finally William turned to Isabella and the corner of his mouth turned up in a half-smile that never quite made it to the rest of his face. Bags were building under his eyes to attest to his recent sleeping habits.

"You don't need to apologize to me about fight night, but I owe you an apology. You were right. I've been running and hiding like a heartbroken kid and making things harder for both of us. I finally got brought back down to earth by a very good person and realized how much of an ass I've been to you. I don't intend to let it happen again, provided you'll forgive me."

William walked towards Isabella, stopping just outside arm's reach. He had to face this head-on, charging in through the brunt of it. It was the only way he really knew to fight.

"I'm glad to hear about Elias. He deserves to have some kind of normal back in his life after everything that happened. I'm sure the two of you will work things out soon enough."

William waved his hand out and gestured to the building around him. It was a beautiful thing that was only possible because the two of them had willed it together. It was a link that kept her in his life, even if he'd lost everything else that made that tie hold.

"You said you were hoping to talk about all of this the last time we talked. I think I'm ready to listen."

"I love this place."  She says looking around.  But not as much as ...  "It's really turned out to be something special." ...which is why I've been considering walking away for good.

Words kept coming to her head, but she bit them back before speaking them.  She didn't want to walk away from Purgatory or from William if she didn't have to.  What the fuck did she think she was going to say at this moment?  Be honest?  Hurt him more?  Tell lies?  Pretend like they weren't feeling this as keen as knives in their hearts?  Isabella tensed gripping her hands together in front of her. 

"I told myself," She began to walk to the rail to look out into the gym.  "If I couldn't come in here and talk to you about everything I had in my head, at least without it devolving into something painful for either of us, that..."  She reached into her purse and pulled out the deed to the gym - her half of the business.

"That I would give you this."  She didn't offer it to William.  On the contrary, she held it tight in her hand and then put it on the rail with her hand on top of it protectively.  She stared down at the ring and continued to talk. 

"You have nothing to be sorry for, William.  You and I both said what was on our minds and hearts in your office.  If anything, you were far kinder to me than I expected you would be, considering how I blindsided you with my decision after going on about wanting to give you a fair chance to ... I don't know... win?  But this was never a game, and I didn't want you to or Gavin to ever think I thought about it that way.  This was your hearts, fuck your lives, you both put on the line for me."

She shook her head and stared down at the red mat and for a moment, the room was full of people and William carrying an emotionally shattered Isabella center ring.  Isabella's arms draped around William's neck as he lifted her up.  She could hear his heart racing beneath her cheek as he shouted at the monstrous crowd and denied them satisfaction.  "It's ok, angel. You'll make it through this. I'm not about to leave you behind." 

"I said I'd give you a chance and then the moment you told me how you felt, I ran."  She said softly, no small amount of shame in her voice.  "You tried to tell me that I wasn't being totally honest with myself and maybe you were right in some regards.  I feel like I owe you that admission."  She drew a breath and then said, "But I did make a choice and it would have been wrong of me not to tell you that, especially with me leaving for Jamaica and... I just... panicked.  I handled it horribly and I am truly, deeply sorry for being an inconsiderate ass."  

She was shocked that saying all of that hadn't broke her.  She expected that it would, instead she just kept looking down on the ring, remembering that first night together in New York - the night everything began to change.  The night she began to change.

William quietly followed Isabella to the railing and leaned on it next to her. He had so many emotions running wild through his head that he didn't even begin to know where to start.

She worried about her impact on his and Gavin's hearts and futures. But she didn't see that she was at every bit of risk and more than they were.

She was acknowledging that she felt more than she'd let herself recognize for him. But she'd still made a choice.

She'd been ready to cut the last tie that would keep her in his life when she walked through the door. But she loved this place and obviously didn't want to leave it for good. Maybe even loved him.

It was a grim sort of joy to know that she might have loved him deep down, knowing that it still didn't change a thing about where they stood. Why should that change anything for him though? Isn't that the very place he'd believed himself to be even at the moment she'd left his office? Why then was that ache rising anew in his chest and why was he struggling to find his words? All three of them had been through so terribly much, and all of them deserved to find some kind of happiness at the other end of this ordeal. Still, better two than none.

For a moment, William's thoughts put him back outside a poker game, listening to the words of Marie Lucania who'd stood in Isabella's place once upon a time.

"Looking back on it all, Lucky did the very best thing for me that he could.  He game me space and time to discover things on my own.  That said, it nearly costed him everything.  It would have costed him everything had fate not intervened."

This was going to hurt. It was also going to be absolutely necessary if he wanted to keep her in his life at all, and even more if fate decided to be kind to him regarding Isabella. He allowed himself one small weakness and placed his hand on her own that was guarding the deed.

"You're right, it hasn't been a game. You came to be honest with me and I don't blame you for that. The part you forget is that your heart and your life have been on the line every step of the way too. It's been your happiness and your future the whole time even more than ours and we chose to do the things we did because we both care about you. And you've fought to try and do right by both of us, even though you knew that sooner or later you couldn't be with both of us. Your choice is what matters. I'm not going to love you any less for it, but I am going to do my best to respect your decision. I've done a pretty poor job of it so far, but I give you my word that's going to change."

William gently squeezed her hand before removing his own to the railing beside it. The ever present ache whispered that he'd let go of far more than just her hand. He tried to ignore it and continue. There'd be time for such thoughts when he was alone.

"There's no way to face this kind of thing without folks hurting, but I think you ought to keep that deed just the same. I'm not made of glass after all and some things are worth hurting for. You're one of those things, Angel. Somebody who has been through as much as you have deserves to have something in their life that gives them a chance to be happy, whatever that takes. I've felt that way since I saw your scars on the night we met. It's why I stood up and took a beating like that. It's why I want us to work through this and still have a reason to be close. I want to see you be as happy as you deserve to be and this place gives me a good excuse."

The words were absolutely true. They were true and they burned all the more for it. In spite of that William put on a smile and looked Isabella in the eyes. She needed to see that he meant what he said and that meant letting his smile cover over the raw spots like a bandage. There was simply no room for those wounds in her life and so he'd keep them safe and tend to them in his own time away from prying eyes.

Once again, he'd take a page from Gavin's book and try to add to that bandage with a cover of humor.

"Besides, we both know that if you left that thing here it'd just end up back on a porch in Port Huron in a brown paper package and that's too much time and money to waste with city hall. Or forgers. You'd think that guys who can counterfeit their own money wouldn't need so much of it from their clients."

The moment he touched her, she held her breath, and she wished she hadn't come.  It was a huge mistake to think she could be in a room with William, alone, and that they'd both walk out without... something.  She wanted to run, to pull away from his touch, but if she did it would be done.  He wouldn't be touching her anymore, and he might never touch her like this again. 

She knew she shouldn't take such joy in such a simple and innocent, thing.  Her feelings made it wrong; it gave meaning to something that should have none.  Her decision was made.  While some part of her, some secret part buried far beneath the surface, might still yearn to know Will as she once had ... her heart (and the rest of her body) now belonged to Gavin.  She'd made that choice and she didn't regret it...

I love Gavin.

But her mouth was dry and she was desperately thirsty all the sudden.  William kept on talking, but Isabella couldn't focus on that, her mind wandered to all the places she tried so hard not to let herself think about anymore.  It was as though telling herself not to think about something made it impossible not to picture as clearly as if it had happened only moments before.  She could almost feel his hand sliding up her arm... She found herself unable to swallow.  Forcing herself to do so was a physical challenge, her heart pounded inside her skull - she should say something - object to this, put a stop to it.  But what?  What would she say?  He wasn't doing anything wrong.  It was her.  She was the one who read it into it.  William wasn't trying to seduce her while telling her the exact opposite, to think that was the height of ...

'...Angel...'

The air from the room was gone at the word.  She was drowning.  If she looked at him she'd either have to smack him or run.. or... something she'd never forgive herself for!

He should never call her that.  That's what she should say to him.  He should never speak to her that way again, it wasn't right, it wasn't fair.  That if he really and truly respected her choice... he'd bury that word beside the dream that they'd ever be together.  Isabella was frozen, fear of him... fear of herself, causing her to simply accept the touch and his words.  She tried to pretend everything was the way it should be. 

Will is my friend.  He just wants to comfort me.  He just wants to stop my pain.  He doesn't mean anything by his words... or his touch.  He chose Philly the same way I chose Gavin.  Even if there was no Gavin, there can't ever be an us.  Not now.  Not ever.

She closed her eyes and behind her eyelids, it was easier to see a face that made her stronger, that roguish grin that always found her in the difficult moments of her life - ever since that night in the ice cream shop.  Suddenly, she didn't feel the panicked need to recoil anymore.  She exhaled, a bit calmer as Will began to crack wise, brave enough to look at him as he finished speaking.

"I'd nearly forgotten that I gave you that address."  She said quietly.  "I hope you'll never share it with anyone.  That place is special and its somewhere I try to keep work far away from.  None of my crew, nor my father even, knows about it."

She leaned on the railing and turned towards Will.  "It isn't that I'm not concerned about my heart... I'm scared out of my mind every single day that I'll end up alone and bitter - the creature you met in New York.  Hopeless.  Empty.  I've seen how fast this life changes and how quickly happiness is stolen away from us.  I fall asleep every night praying that I've done enough for those I love to know that I love them... and I wake up every day afraid that I'll find they've disappeared while I slept without a chance to say goodbye."

She looks at the floor.  "I know if I live long enough that I'm going to lose the people I love.  I'd be an idiot in this thing of ours to not know that - peace will not last forever William and one day... we very well could be on the opposite sides of a war again."  It was hard to say the truth.  She didn't want it to come to pass, but it could.  Only a fool disregarded the possibility.

"It's enough to have made me think about not choosing anyone and just... pushing on alone."  She furrowed her brow.  "But I don't want to live if it means living in a world without love.  I'm a hopeless and stupid romantic... a fool for all the things people write stories about, and even if it means I'll grieve again - I can't stop myself.  And so... I'm doomed."  She shrugs. 

"But the way I figure it... you guys didn't sign up for that shit and it's in our nature to protect the people we love from pain.  Isn't it?"  She tilted her head to the side, her doe eyes wide searching his face for understanding.  "You have a family now William - the same as me.  You've made a sacred commitment and those people are counting on you to lead them, regardless of who you have to stand against one day.  And if the time comes that our partnership should end because of the actions of others... I hope you know how I really feel."

She looked around the room, unable to hold onto Gavin's smile in her mind as the thought of William and her standing with guns pointed at each other came to mind.  "I love this place.  I love everything it symbolizes.  Did I ever tell you why I wanted to name it Purgatory?"  She said in a rush, seeming to want to change the subject but sinking slowly into the floor unable to run from her own thoughts.

"Durden's fight club... that night I was as close to heaven and hell as I had ever come.  I was trapped between what might be, and what use to be... and I couldn't move.  It was Purgatory.  It wasn't quite hell, which is where I'm sure I'll go when I die, but it sure as fuck wasn't heaven.  I could see heaven, but it was out of my reach.  Happiness... I thought it would never be mine again and I was diving hard and fast for Hell that night because at least it would be something, and something was better than the NOTHING that was devouring me from within."

She shook her head.  "You're not a wolf, William."  She said softly.  "And I'm no Angel."

She couldn't help but look at him now, "Between us, you're the Angel - shit look what you named your crew!  You saved me from Purgatory because only an Angel could have.  You had the courage to dive into that place of nothing... and pull me back into the world of the living when no one I had met at that point - no one in my whole life - had the ability to do it.  And ..."  I'll love you forever for it.

"... I'll never be able to thank you enough.  So... yeah, whatever wrong you think you've done me, it's forgiven.  Hell, it wasn't even noticed, that's how much you mean to me.  I don't want lose you William.  I sure as fuck don't want to give you the gym.  I want an excuse to be in your life as much as I can be, as much as is decent in our situation at least.  And so long as it doesn't cause you to suffer.  I want to watch you do all the things I knew you could... and cheer you on as you exceed everyone's expectations."

William merely nodded as Isabella spoke of keeping the address secret. He'd intended to do that from the moment he'd received her package what seemed like a lifetime ago. He felt his stomach drop as he thought of the woman he'd met in New York, the reckless, hopeless wreck that he'd gathered up and carried out of that hell. Her suffering had been written on her body and in her eyes and he'd recognized what he'd felt after the loss of a family once before. It had been a time he'd tried to forget, but one that still troubled him in his quiet moments as he worried about his new home and all those who followed him.

Her words felt as if she'd forgotten that what she feared was what he had lived. Their families had been on the opposite side of conflict before and he'd struggled through and forgiven her and all those she stood with. He knew what he owed his own from that very time. It hurt to feel as though she were hiding behind such a thing, using it to explain something that in truth was more about the heart than the world around it. His expression hardened even as he told himself that she hadn't meant anything by it. It was natural to fear those things even if a person hadn't seen them first hand. Hell, particularly if they hadn't. It seemed like something that would be impossible to live through.

Yet he had.

The war between his heart and mind finally started to bubble over as she turned William's view of her around on him. It was more than he could stand in this moment and his frustration finally pushed past his restraint.

"How the hell can you look me in the eye and tell me that I'm the angel here? Do you know why I was there that night in New York? I was just another damned prick who was promised a night of everything he wanted from a beautiful woman. Nothing noble, just a night of pleasure to break the monotony. I was a nobody in a rut, who'd never picked himself back up from watching the only man who'd been a real family to him sacrifice theirself because of a war. A war that we were on opposite ends of. It might be terrifying for you to imagine a conflict taking away the people who matter most, but for me it's life."

William turned and paced in front of the sins spread across the walls, feeling each of them laughing inside his head and jockeying for position. Deep down his heart was screaming at him to stop before he said something he couldn't take back. Something that would ruin what little he had with Isabella, but his anger had finally snapped. His anger at the situation that he'd been thrust into by need and by desire, his anger at all the things that drove Isabella away from him through fear, and his anger at himself for not finding a way to beat this. That anger let things flow that he knew he should be ashamed to say even as the words left him, but he couldn't figured out how to dam them up inside.

"And as much as I should have hated you for that, I saw the hurt I felt inside physically written across you and couldn't watch someone else suffer the way I had after that happened. I knew full well that nobody deserves that and I knew that because I was on the brink of the same nothing you were swimming in and understood the view. So I nearly killed myself protecting you and the damndest thing happened. You did the same thing back and got me out of that hell-hole. I woke up to you doting on me and taking care of me and for the first time in a long time I felt like I was important. Over the next couple of days I started to realize that you were important to me too and that drove me to start caring again. It made me fight to be something more and it's the reason I've accomplished everything I have since that day. It made me want to be something more than another piece of muscle for a guy in a suit. So I made myself into the man giving the orders. All because you didn't see how everything I did that night started in selfishness."

His footsteps stopped and he face Isabella full on. His face was beginning to flush and his voice had been growing more forceful as he continued speaking. He breathed deeply and managed to put a hold enough on the growth of his anger, but he was not yet coming back to calm.

"I'm no angel, Isabella. You know as well as I do what it takes to become a Don in this thing. You don't get where we are by being a good person. You just haven't seen me at my work and you've been too blind to see just how much you were keeping me from being something far worse than what I am! If we'd followed the plan that first night you'd have understood. You would have seen me revel in tearing apart the men Durden would have thrown in front of me. You'd have seen me take my old self out for a night and enjoy exactly what was promised. I named my crew for this place because it's where I've spent my whole damn life! Halfway to Hell and only waiting on the bullet that would carry me the other half. Purgatory is as good as it got until you came along. I called you an angel because you were the only thing in my life that seemed to give me a view of anything better at all and I'd rather get shot, scarred, and tormented than watch you burn alongside me. Your wings might be a little charred but mine were scorched away long before I met you."

His facade finally began to crack, and William's shoulders sagged and bowed. He'd spent the last couple of months trying to run from some of the things that had poured out of him in the last few minutes. That malignant ache made itself known once more through the numbness that was spreading across him, whispering that he'd finally said enough to drive her away from him. That he'd finally showed the selfish creature that he was, clinging to her like a life preserver in a stormy sea. He'd surely hurt her enough and piled guilt enough onto her that she wouldn't be able to stand him. His voice came out in a level whisper, hopelessly dripping out his words even as he was sure they would be too late.

"I don't want to lose you either Isabella. I know for a fact that I wouldn't accept your half of this gym if only because I won't see you throw away what you could use to help the people who rely on you. The people who actually deserve your worry. I want this to be a place in my life for you too because no matter how selfish the start of my feelings were they turned into something bigger. You turned ME into something bigger. I just don't know if I can go on pretending that I'm all the things you think I am."

There were no tears, no sobs, and no shouts left. William Bowden was tired. He was tired of what he'd been, tired of what he'd tried to accomplish, and tired of fighting. For once in his life he was ready to throw in the towel. If Isabella walked away now he knew he wouldn't be able to follow her.

Isabella stiffened.  She watched William carefully as his passion rose - a storm over the lake.  Lightening and thunder, barely contained and not yet hit the shore.  His self-loathing was nothing new, she'd heard it before and she hadn't ignored it... she just knew better.  She knew HIM better.  She knew his heart as sure as she knew Gavin's and both of them were wrong about who they were - the fools.  Men, in her experience, often were, and regularly were in need of, a good woman to tell them the truth of things.

"How?"  She said calmly, her chin lifted slightly, her eyes looking down her slightly upturned nose.  "How quickly you forget so much about the woman you 'love.'"  She said the last word as if it were a knife.  She put down the deed and her purse on the table and followed William amongst the sins.

"You buried your crew.  I know.  Do you think I've forgotten about that?  What sort of 'Angel' do you take me for if you honestly think I'd so coldly forget that fact?  Rest assured William Bowden, I know what you lost, I've lost people too.  But I'm not talking about losing crew.  I'm not talking even about losing family.  You lost the people who stood shoulder to shoulder with you... the people who promised to bleed for you and with you."

"They all did EXACTLY what they said they would...  but I'm not talking about that kind of loss.  The sort where some dark figure in the night steals away someone you love.  My fear is worse than just that.  It's about having to level a gun at someone I love because I have no choice."  Her nostrils flared.  "I wonder if it ever even crossed your mind?"

"Did you consider, even for an INSTANT at the moment he asked you to be a Don, that you might one day be my blood enemy?  That while you had fought for me less than a day before, you swore your life to a man who one day might demand that you ACTUALLY fight against me?!?"  She shakes her head.  "You didn't.  Because you're so damn good.  You believe in the good in men.  You believe in good things and fucking happy endings.  You believe in honor and doing the right thing and you actually are stupid enough to think this peace will last, but it won't Will!  It won't!  It never can, it always ends in blood because that's who these sick fucks are, and you're NOTHING like them and thank GOD for that!"

She shook her head, no.  He wasn't like them and she would never believe it so - no matter how much hate and so-called evidence he threw at her, "It's why you have stood here," She pointed to the floor, "... saying such nice words about us being able to work together.  It's why you're apologizing to me when I'm the one who broke YOUR heart... as if you have a fucking thing to apologize for!  Can you even hear yourself?!?"

She threw up her hands, "Don't you think I can't tell how much this is killing you?"  She motioned to her eyes, "Do you think I'm blind and don't know how much pain you're in, trying to pretend you don't love me?  You're all but biting your tongue to keep from saying what you feel; all the while you forget yourself for a moment and touch my hand and accidentally call me by the name you whispered in my ears while we made love.  You need to believe you're the sort of person who doesn't care, but you do!  You're desperately trying to be a good friend to Gavin, when you owe him nothing but friendship and respect... and you know who does that, don't you?  A good man, Will!  Good people care about respect and friendship, and they care about doing the right thing!"

She pointed a finger accusingly at him, "You like to think yourself some sort of horrible criminal - a selfish man - but you're not.  You're a better man than I or any Moll in this fucking thing of ours deserves!  You're so damn afraid of falling short of that reality though, afraid that you fell short when you lost Elyan and everyone you loved in LA, that you can't handle the possibility that it could happen again.  So, you choose not to admit it, not even to yourself!  You won't own your goodness and honor because one day you might fall short of that expectation again.  It would be so much easier to shrug your shoulders and call yourself evil or corrupt, drinking the truth away, than to have to stand up with the burden of who you really are resting square on your shoulders."

Her voice had a hint of a growl, "This is the first time I've ever seen you scared of anything William Bowden and it doesn't suit you.  Not at all.  You're not scared of dying or bullets... but it seems to me that you're scared of the man you could be, the man you ARE deep down.  You're scared of the greatness you have inside yourself and that's fine... hide from it and deny it if you like... but I'll be damned before I pretend it's not there just to make you comfortable in your chosen mediocrity." 

She stepped into his personal space.  "I didn't save you.  You didn't need saving.  You just had to get off your ass and decide to do something with yourself, something worthy of everything Elyan knew was inside you all along.  I was a mirror for your own pain, you've said it again and again, and you didn't like what you saw so you saved me... and you saved yourself." 

At the last phase, Isabella seems to hit on the heart of her emotional meltdown as she says, far more quietly, "I served my purpose."  Her heart pounding in her chest, cheeks flushed & eyes on fire.  She's so worked up she's nearly panting, "Stop this ridiculous pretending that you're something you're not.  You're not the villain in this or any other story, and you never could be."

Isabella let her chin fall and her eyes close, "You might be able to hide from every other person in the world, but..."  She shook her head slow and sad - a thousand thoughts racing through her mind as the emotional floodgates breaking had caused illumination.  Her voice was barely above a whisper now as she contemplates the reality of everything she'd felt for William all this time.  What it meant in regards to her own strengths and shortcomings.  Seeing herself through William's eyes she thought she was beginning to understand a deeper truth about their relationship and why she'd been so attracted to him, "I see you, Don William Bowden."  She used his title, an emphasis on the path he'd chosen, his commitment to his own goodness, and the underlying truth in spite of it & all her attempts to be as good a person as Will actually was,  "I will always see you."

"I don't think you've forgotten a damn thing about me. I just think you don't see exactly what those things mean to me. I fear having to fight against you and your city as much as I fear letting my family down. I don't know which would be worse, but I know that I try to spend every day I get making the best of both parts of my life."

His eyes softened and took on a melancholy tone to match the half-smile rising on his lips.

"Peace won't last forever, and that's why I accepted my place as a Don. Not out of some misplaced faith in mankind. Because I was already deep enough in this thing when I met you to face the risks you're talking about. I would have been no more able to change it as a Capo or a Boss than I am right now. I can't imagine drawing a gun on you, you're right, but I can imagine the horror show that would come from our families at war. The place I'm in now though is one step closer to having a say in when a war happens in the first place. The thought terrifies me and worries me that someday I'll make the choices that the men and women before me did, but if that burden means I can delay that moment for even a day then its worth it to get one more day with the people I care about and when people come who are looking for a fight then by God I'll be ready to give it to them. I know that the men and women who rely on me will find things that they want to keep safe too, so I'll teach them to build instead of break down. Maybe I don't manage to hold things together and I end up in a war I can't fathom fighting, but maybe the next person doesn't. Maybe eventually they make this something more than it is now."

"You might be able to hide from every other person in the world, but...I see you, Don William Bowden. I will always see you."

Hearing those words from the woman he loved so close to him in that moment silenced anything that the ache he'd felt could possibly think to tear at him with. In that instant, the ache no longer had claws and teeth. It was just a memory that had become instead an ache to hold her close as he had before in this place that was theirs and theirs alone. 

He'd never thought of that first night as she had described it. He'd said moments ago that he'd seen himself in her position. Was it really so much to believe that he'd lifted himself from the floor of that ring as much as he'd physically lifted her? Still, to say that her purpose was served was a discredit to the situation and to her. Even if he'd taken the first step, it was her presence that kept him from stumbling back to the place he'd been. Even here as they'd both been hurting and angry she fought to keep him from turning back and reassured him that she'd see good in him no matter what. She'd been his inspiration and no matter what they ended up to one another he'd never stop loving her for that.

At the end, even William could see that something had begun to change in her before his eyes. He couldn't tell exactly what it was, though it seemed to calm her at the very least and focus her. The only thing that William was sure of was that his restraint still hadn't returned. 

"Maybe you're right. Maybe I did save myself. But you give me a reason not to look back. A reason to live up to what I'm capable of. What good is being able make a change in this thing of ours if you don't have something to change it FOR."

His hand found its way to her face, first lifting her chin to look him in the eye, then caressing her cheek.

"You're right too that it's all I can do not to say how I feel about you, but I've held back because I saw how much it hurt you before, not because I'm hiding the fact that I love you. I'd be a fool to try and hide that, just like I'd be a fool to ever see you as anything but the Angel you are."

William couldn't help himself. He leaned forward and tenderly kissed Isabella as he had before. Maybe it was the way they'd opened up to each other in this place that they had built in the hopes of solidifying what they felt for one another. Maybe it was just that he had given up on holding back. Either way, it was the only thing he knew to do.

He lifted her chin, their eyes met.  It was different now, thinking about what he'd said.  He wanted her to believe she'd given him something, but whatever he found in her, she hadn't given knowingly.  He'd built her up, held her to the light and judged her to be something - she'd been counting on that when she hoped to make him her husband, but that was before Garrett... and before he'd become a Don in another city.

He caressed her cheek with his thumb - the calloused feel of a boxer's hands sent a shiver down her spine.  The memory of how he thrilled her came unbidden.  Her thigh muscles tensed and she shifted in spite of herself.  She knew what was coming next, even before he moved.  She could feel his intention, her knees locked and she didn't pull away.

He spoke, "You're right too that it's all I can do not to say how I feel about you, but I've held back because I saw how much it hurt you before, not because I'm hiding the fact that I love you. I'd be a fool to try and hide that, just like I'd be a fool to ever see you as anything but the Angel you are."

Water on glass, silk against silk, the plush warmth of his full lips massaging her own left her trapped between panic and lust.  She wanted to scream, to return his kiss, to smack him, and rip his clothes off to take him and make her hers again.  She wanted him to stop and never touch her again, but at the same time, she wished he'd rip her shirt clean off of her and lay her down on the nearest table and make love to her until she couldn't walk right.

The kiss seemed to go on forever and Isabella was sure she wasn't returning it - or at least she hadn't meant to... but maybe she did?  She didn't push him away and she'd known damn well what he was doing.  She wanted to scream in bliss... and cry for what she'd allowed him to do and then, as the kiss ended, the later emotion grew at an alarming rate of speed & intensity.

As he let her go, she didn't hesitate in backing away.  Her breath coming in shuddered gasps, half from lust she could not even begin to hide... and the other half from something that was nearly a sob.  He mouth hung open, a look of shock growing in her eyes.  She blinked. denial and disbelief war for ownership of her face.

"I stand corrected."  She finally says.  "Maybe I don't know you as well as I think." 

She abruptly turns and goes for her deed and her purse speaking quickly, "A kiss goodbye."  She says as if trying to make sense of what just happened in her head.  "That's what it was.  That's all.  It was goodbye."

She fumbled with the deed, trying to put it into her purse, failing several times as her hands seemed to work in opposition of what she wanted from them - as if they were sabotaging her.  As if she didn't really want to go at all - but she did!  She truly did! 

"Nothing happened."  She insisted to herself, finally shoving the deed violently into her purse and wheeling back around to William.  "I didn't think I had to tell you this ... but I will, so we're clear.  This thing between us..."  Words failed her, she wanted to call it something, but in her current state of mind, nothing true to its nature was near her lips.  Nothing she dared to allow herself to speak at least! "It can't happen again, William.  He broke it off with all his other girls... even before I thought to ask it of him... my God he asked ME to be exclusive with him!  Do you KNOW what this breach of trust would do to him?!?  To us!?!"

She trembled in fear and rage as she put her purse on.  "How am I ever going to tell him...?!?"  She roared.  "Damn it, I love him."  She said looking at William finally meeting his gaze with her big brown eyes full of unshed tears.  "And no matter how singed you think my 'wings' are... no matter what you or Elias might think of the sort of woman I am... I would never do that to him.  Never." 

"Oh God what have I done" was the only thought that could find purchase in William's mind as he looked into the hurt on Isabella's face. In a moment of weakness he'd burned every bit of good that had been built in the course of the meeting. Maybe in the course of their time together. He'd betrayed Isabella, Gavin, himself, and everyone who had tried to help him in his pursuit. And once again Isabella was trying to take the weight of his foolishness on her own shoulders. The ache in his heart roared back to life with a cackling laugh that reminded him that it had been right all along. How could he have ever, for a moment, thought this could end differently?

William gritted his teeth and silently cursed the taste of her that lingered on his lips and burned every bit of decency he had in him. This was his mistake and it was one that might yet ruin her. He'd have to do the same thing he did when they met. He owed it to her to take as much of the brunt of the punishment that this moment would bring. It was the only way he'd ever be able to forgive himself, let alone hope for her forgiveness. His voice sounded calm, absolutely in contrast with the storm raging inside him.

"You aren't the sort of woman who'd hurt someone like that. You'd bleed and suffer before you'd do that willingly. You didn't do anything wrong here, I did. I crossed the line and because of that I'm the one who has to worry about what to tell Gavin." William hesitated for a moment and looked up to the ceiling, unable to stand the hurt that he'd once again placed on Isabella and seeking release in the thought of the pain he'd almost certainly suffer as a result of this moment of idiocy.

"I'll tell him the truth. That I hurt you and pushed you into something you didn't ask for. Something you never would have done because you are better than that. Something you walked away from and were rightfully furious about. I'll tell him that and I'll face whatever he chooses to do to me for it knowing that I deserve every bit of it for betraying the both of you."

For a moment more he wasn't sure he could speak the words that he needed to say. He'd burned so much and so quickly that he fought against letting the last wisps of smoke trail through his fingers, but there was no escaping it. He looked back to Isabella filled with shame, longing, and fear.

"And you can let it be goodbye."

There it is.  The good man.  The golden man, the one she thought she knew.  He was alive and well, even now.  Even after having done something so horrible that it might destroy everything that made her happy, William Bowden still found a way to shine through his very human and very weak moment.  

She pressed her lips together tightly as she listened to him explain his 'simple' plan to spare her from this moment.  He was trying to help but he was an idiot for thinking she didn't want him at all and more so for thinking she didn't have to be the one to tell Gavin this.  William clearly wasn't thinking about what sort of falsehood that would create in the mind of a man who innocently believed her above such things - the sort of man who had never dared to trust or love another person in such a vulnerable way before. 

If she didn't tell Gavin, no matter how painful, then he would always wonder why, considering her well-known feelings for him, she kept silent.  Especially since William, who had nothing to gain by telling the truth, was the one who found the need to speak up.  No, that would only look worse.  Gavin would see it as William, a man who loved her, trying to protect her.  While her, he'd see her as letting a good man fall on a sword for her in a vain attempt at denying her desires.  Omission, after all, was another form of lying and it wasn't something she thought her relationship would survive either.

She shook her head slowly.  Was he a fool who couldn't see how she felt?  Or just too noble for his own good?  "You act like you really believe I didn't want your kiss."  She croaked the words out past the lump in her throat.  

She squeezed her eyes shut, so terribly angry with herself.  "I wanted it... desperately."  She shamefully admitted.  "He'll know that you couldn't have stolen anything like that from me.  He'll know there was something more to this, something more on my part at least and if I try to hide it, it only looks worse."

She wiped a tear with the back of her hand and forced the lump down.  "He knows I love you, Will.  He'd have to be blind as well as deaf to not know it."  She looked to the floor realizing that this was the first time she'd ever told William that she'd loved him.  No man should hear 'I love you' in this way, but there was nothing for it now.  The words had escaped her lips and she could not pull them back in. 

"Even if you could make him believe the outrageous lie that you forced yourself on me, he'd never believe that I thought so little of such an incident.  It isn't the sort of thing you casually forget to mention, you know?  That's to say nothing of how I'll feel seeing him tonight."  She sighed.  "Honesty is my only hope that he will see the truth... that, while I still have feelings for you, I would risk everything to protect what I share with him."

She looked up to meet his eyes, "No matter what you might want, Will, you can't shoulder this burden for me.  There's no climbing into the ring to carry me out this time.  In the end, we created this situation together, but it's Gavin who is stuck deciding what to do with it and I can't say for sure how he'll react."  She glanced at the door.  "I need to go."

She looked back to him knowing now that this might be the last time she could ever be so painfully honest with him, "I was grateful to you for saving me, William.  I told myself I could make you and me into the life I had hoped to share with Elias and force myself to move on.  I meticulously planned how I'd get you to fall in love with me... and every time I saw your face, I found myself believing my own fairytale just a little more.  I was sure I knew how it would end and that you'd leave Philly and come to Detroit to serve my father... and marry me."  

Her shoulders sank, "I never meant to fall in love with Gavin.  He was antiseptic to the wound Elias left in my heart and I thought... I thought that sharing that poison with someone I didn't care about would allow me to build something with you that wasn't based on my pain.  The irony is... that's exactly what we did.  You and I both built something out of the pain we tried to save ourselves from and I don't know if that makes it more or less real.  I just know that we both made choices and for good or ill, we can't go on looking back at what might have been."

She said looking into his eyes.  "I don't want to hurt you.  It's why I brought the deed..."  She shook her head.  "I'll keep it, but if you can't agree that the past ends here, then I want your word that you'll ask me for it or buy me out if you think you must."

She stood up a bit straighter, "Do I have your word?"

Grief was the only thing he couldn't have imagined those three words ever bringing him, yet here he was. Standing alone together, two people who loved each other dearly, who couldn't seem to escape the pain that very thing seemed to cause. It had brought them together, followed close behind the time they'd had as lovers, and now it even enveloped those words to the point that they were a dagger that stabbed them both in the heart.

William wanted desperately to beg her not to leave. To fight even the possibility that what they'd felt was anything less than real and worthwhile, but to do that would be to ask her to rip her heart out of her chest and forsake the happiness she'd already found. He'd already scourged her heart too much today and couldn't bear to face another wince of pain on that beautiful face.

He ought to take the deed now and let her live free of him, not having to worry about whatever feelings they had for one another and whatever pain might be next for them. He should, but he couldn't bring himself to say those words and rip his own heart out. For him, this may have started in pain, but so much more had grown out of it and even as he watched the foundations be ripped out from under the whole of what they had been, he wasn't yet sure that it would topple.

"I-" William hesitated and turned away for a moment, running a hand up through his hair and tensing his jaw as if expecting a blow. He took a few breaths before trying again. "I just...I don't know. I don't know if I can promise to walk away from it like that. There's just so much that I've got to figure out." Another deep breath to calm the hot rush of anger and sadness that he knew would bubble over the moment she was gone. He turned back to face her before nodding slightly. "I'll give you my word that I'll do what I have to do to decide. I'll make space until I've figured out what I'm going to do, and if I can't let go, I'll...make a decision about the deed."

“Thank you.“ She whispered. “I’ll leave you alone now. I need to go think for a bit before Gavin comes to pick me up. I will be back in Philly again soon I’m sure. Perhaps we can talk then, somewhere public if you like, maybe in Dantes.  Whatever makes it easier.“ Isabella turned and walked towards the door only stopping when she reached it to look back and say, “Goodbye Will.”  Without another word she left as fast as she could so he did not see the wreck of tears her face was about to become.

I was in the area where the gym was.. and remember hearing about a fight of sorts...boxing I thought, but I never made it to the night, so i could not say for sure. As I arrived, I saw Don Isabella leaving, and tat guy William I had met a while back at the part we , as in the crew had for Don Isabella. I think he was the guy she was with that night, but I could not be sure. I wondered why he was standing right here. I had heard about this place and wanted to come and check it out. The sign said closed, and when I turned to leave, there he was, that William guy.

" Hello, Aren't you that William guy, Don Isabella's friend? (I hadn't expected anyone to actually be outside of the building)