A fat stubby man approaches the infamous soap box, yet why do they call it a soap box? Does it hold soap? No asshole it doesn't. Well does it smell like soap? No shit brains it smells like ass. Well then why the fuck it is a soap box? Oh fuck it, where were we? So yeah, a fat stubby man approaches the "podium". Yes much sexier

You sure you can handle Dick?

Notices Whatsername smile

No darling not right now.

Notices Whatsername frown

So let's start off on the right foot, cause starting off on the left would be just downright wrong no?

Let's begin with all the bitching and moaning that has took place as of late. Remedy? Grow some balls.

Which brings me to what's really important here... HORMONES!!

That's right, I'm offering $1,500,000 to whomever has the balls to go public with why they deserve to be the right one for a night with.... umm shit Whatsername again?

Notices Whatsername angry

You know you love it.

Notices Whatsername wink

Winks back

So on with what I was saying.... I want to see some god damn effort in this... and this is how it will work.....

You have 24 hours from the end of this announcement to make a public appearance, yes your very own public appearance, ((OOC: In other words your own thread)) explaining why you feel you are the one deserving enough to get a one night with.... Well you know who...

Now this isn't just some cheap date were talking about here. Were talking about the one and only whateverhernameis!

Title of your announcement must be: "Your Name" has the balls!

This is what I'm looking for:

(1) Creativity - Whateverthelovelyladysnameis loves to be wowed so be original!
(2) Humorous - Whatsernameforfucksake loves to have her funny bone tickled, so make her giggle.
(3) Seductive - After all what's the point without some lovin am I right?

Meet those three key area's and you could find yourself a bit richer a day from now.

Reaction by the public to your plea for a night of bliss also plays a role in how I make my decision. After all where would you be without the public eye?

This is a test to see who has the balls to do it and if your wanting to ask if I myself even have the balls to do it? Well I did make this announcement, and after all, what's a Dick without balls?

Good luck!

The fat man waddles off stage, because of his ball size of course.

You know this isnt a bad idea but dont you think it would be fair if you had a male contestant that females could woo as I am sure not many other females are going to want to try for Whatsername.

Good view and/or opinion on the subject, but I wouldn't be too quick on putting off the ladies level of intrigue and/or interest in whateverherfreakingnameis.

So if you are in fact a female and/or both, you are also welcome to make your announcement public. It's the 50's people, times are changing. Just yesterday I caught my mother making out with my former lunch lady.

RW lights a joint

And yes.... I meant the thirties.... I blame the pills Quoth_the_Raven slipped into my coffee this morning.

After correcting himself RW goes back to smoking his joint and playing with blocks

Quoth slips up behind Dick and grabs the joint before taking a long haul and holding it for as long as he could

I'llmakesuretoincreasethedosagetomorrowthenitsobviousthelithiumhasn'tkickedinproperly

Quoth breaths out and smiles broadly

Good shit though Dick.

Well maybe not all the ladies would be put off by it, but it would be more interesting to see something similiar from you for the straight women that aren't all of a sudden coming out of the closet so to speak.

Wings, if you really want, you can give me an old public announcment, I won't mind. If it's good enough I'll throw Tony into the equasion and we can have a three way date and at the end we can all go back to Tony's place for a game of twister, that has been invented already? Or has this lithuim Richard shared with me actually got to me head aswell?

I'd blame it on the lithium, but I'm actually here at the moment to announce that there is one hour left in the competition. So I suggest if you want your stab at the cash and/or Whatsername..

Notices Whatsername angry

Now now, take a deep breath I'm almost done. Now what I was saying was, if you want a chance at winning the cash then I suggest you get started.

Good luck!

Time has elapsed people!!!!!

Thank you to those who showed they had the balls to partake... Not only that but one of them gets a cool 1.5 mil in hard cash.

I'll announce the winner this evening for I am a busy man. Keep your fingers crossed contestants!

OK well the results are in. My apologies for the delay in which it took me to show my face.

Smile

You know you missed it. So without further ado, I congratulate KatieMurdock. Now I'm just as shocked as you are, but after all, it probably took even more balls for her to come out with her sexuality and admit her desires for whateverhernamecouldbe.

Grins

Thank you all for participating in this random but enjoyable event....

Oh and by the way, yes Katie I understand then point behind your story, but after all I am a Dick.

Smiles a waddles back into the alley

Congratulations on your win...

Katie was just about to congratulate whoever won until Mr. Wad's words sank into her head.

Oh wow! She quickly exclaimed. I'm probably the most shocked by this. Thank you for holding this provocative and entertaining contest to see who could pleasure Whatsername the greatest. I highly enjoyed doing participating in such an act.