The next morning when Madeline awoke, she found herself curled up next to Alexander, an arm draped across his chest. The reason she never brought men to her apartment was that she didn’t do morning afters – she had her fun and she left. But she couldn’t very well leave her own apartment and, truthfully, she didn’t want to run off on him. It was a new feeling for her, the desire to be here instead of running. She watched as the sunlight fell across his face, accenting the lines of his face. Her fingers reached out, brushing his cheek softly.

She didn’t want to wake him, so she slowly slid off the bed. She grabbed a pale pink silk robe from behind her door, trying the sash to keep it closed as she made her way to the kitchen. Madeline didn’t cook much these days but when she was younger, she had cooked for her and her father most days, when there was food to cook with at least. This kitchen was rarely used but she had the essentials; she pulled out a bowl and started cracking eggs and adding flour to make one of her favorites – pancakes. She also had bacon and fresh fruit as sides, and she started a new pot of coffee. She was humming to herself as she set the table, also adding cups for orange juice.

It was while she was cooking that she remembered the envelope she was supposed to give him. She felt guilty for not thinking of it last night – if she were in his shoes she would want to have gotten the information right away. She smiled as she thought of Sister Agatha and all the stories she had told her about Alex.

Moving into the hallway, she found the envelope among her bags and brought it into the kitchen. She placed it on the table and went back to cooking, planning to wake him herself when she was finished if he didn’t wake up in the meantime. Madeline knew there were things they would need to talk about today, and he would need to go back to Philly soon enough. Still, she also knew they could take things one day at a time. They would figure this out in their own ways, without rushing. 

Alexander woke up slowly, reluctant to let go of the last vestiges of content sleep. His eyes opened and as he sat up, he noticed the clothes strewn about on the floor below. With a smile, he sighed as it all came rushing back to him. Madeline's arrival, her confession, their embrace and their tryst. A warm feeling overcame his heart as he remembered them falling asleep together afterwards, a jumbled mess of skin and limbs.

Usually, the one to wake early and leave before the awkward mornings, Alexander was somewhat surprised to find her gone. But before he could lament her departure, the delicious scent of food came wafting through the air from the kitchen into his nose reassuringly. Stepping off the bed he stretched his arms over his head only to feel his bruises old and new ache. Rubbing his eyes, he walked into the bathroom and started a hot shower while reaching for the toothbrush he had been using the last few days.

A few minutes later, he limped out of the shower, somewhat refreshed. Pulling on a pair of pajama bottoms, he meandered barefoot over to the kitchen. Madeline stood in a silk robe, cooking pancakes and he wondered yet again just how little he knew about this woman for her to surprise him like this at every turn.

Stalking over to her, he hugged her from behind. His fingers, teasing the sash that kept her robe intact as he leaned in to kiss her gently. Resting his chin on the top of her head he teased  "Did something die in here or is that just the food?"

“You’re a fool if you think these pancakes are anything other than delicious. They’re my mother’s old recipe.” Madeline’s smile would show that she was teasing. The warm embrace he gave her from behind caused the little flutter in her stomach that she’d come to recognize whenever he was around. She flipped the pancake that was in the pan before turning her attention to him, her eyes twinkling as she looked him over. 

“Shirtless again?”

Not that she minded, of course. She kissed him softly before turning back to the stove, finishing off the last of the pancakes, and taking the stack of them over to the table.

“How did you sleep?” She set the plate down in the center of the table and picked up the envelope, moving it to the side for now. She needed to give it to him, but she wanted it to be the right moment, not just springing it on him first thing. She poured coffee in their cups and added any last minute items to the table before she took her seat.

Madeline had been a housewife for years; she knew how to do it, she simply chose not to anymore. But for some reason, this morning, she wanted to do it for him. It was no wonder it surprised him as it surprised even herself. Still, as she placed pancakes on both their plates, she couldn't help but grin. "These were the first thing I learned how to cook as a child. To be honest, it's one of the few things I actually know how to cook or cook well at least."

Shrugging as he pointed at his chest, Alexander replied  "Didn't want you missing out on something you just can't resist." It seemed her eyes never could ignore his toned chest so it wasn't out of the question that he would exploit her weakness as much as he could. Besides, with everything that had transpired, the previous night he knew they were a little past caring about some extra skin.

When she asked him how he slept, he chuckled and responded "Peacefully, but I woke up tired. I don't think that was what your doctor meant when he recommended bed rest to help me recuperate from my injuries." Picking up his cup of coffee he took a small sip, paused added a little sugar before stirring it and sipping it again happily.

As he limped towards the seat opposite hers, he stopped and turned to her with a grin. Offering her his hand, he pulled her off her chair and sat down on it before pulling her onto his lap nonchalantly as if the touch of her skin against his was something he just couldn't bear to be without long enough to eat.

His actions and what they meant surprised him but he chose to leave all the ponderings about their possible future together to a later date. Leaning back into the seat, he brushed a strand of hair behind her ear as she sipped her coffee and asked "So Miss Madeline, apart from cooking questionable food and firing guns in your backyard, what else did you do as a child?" His eyes eagerly gazed at her, wondering if she would open up or if it was still too early for that.

“You had four days of bed rest while I was gone, a little physical activity is perfectly healthy from time to time.” As Alex pulled Madeline into his lap, she was pleasantly surprised. There was an intimacy there that seemed natural; she poured a little cream and sugar into her coffee, stirring it for a moment before leaning back against him and taking a sip, the warm liquid causing her to sigh happily.

“Chased fireflies. Slept under the stars. Eventually, I went to school and learned to chase boys instead.”

She was careful not to put any extra pressure on his injuries; she had noticed his limp and felt a tad guilty that their activities the previous evening had made him worse off. Putting her coffee cup onto the table, she covered a few pancakes in syrup and cut into them, taking a bite and letting out a happy sigh. She cut a second bite and offered it to him, smirking as she waited to see his reaction before she spoke again.

“I had a dog, Sadie. She was my best friend when I was young, and we went everywhere together. My father never really noticed if I came home at night or not, but Sadie never left my side.” It was still hard to talk about Sadie, but Madeline knew if she couldn’t discuss her past then she’d made no progress at all since her trip to Texas.

“My mother died during childbirth, and it turned my father into an alcoholic, so it was just Sadie and me for the most part." There was no doubt he'd noticed the undertones in her speech; she had adored Sadie and the pain of her death, especially because of the way she had died, was still fresh to Madeline. 

Raising an amused eyebrow, he leaned in to accept the offered bite of pancake. Despite his taunts, his face betrayed the pleasant surprise he felt at the delicious taste. Moving closer for more, he remembered the time she had shown him around his new city as he said  "The docks in Philly.  I see stargazing was something you could never part with. As for chasing boys, "  Pausing to take another bite he continued. "If last night is anything to go by, I doubt you had to do that long before you realised you could just as easily make them chase you."

As she mentioned her dog, he remained silent and simply listened intently. The orphanage did not allow pets and his adult life had never been stable enough for him to have one. He envied the bond she seemed to share with Sadie, even while he empathised with the pain she felt at the loss.

While he sipped his coffee, he could feel the reluctance in her voice as she spoke of her parents. Not wanting to push her into a conversation she was not comfortable with, he simply caressed her shoulder in a feeble attempt at comforting her. His intimate actions surprised him for he did not know he was capable of them. It was awkward for him to hear about a troubled relationship with parents because he never had the opportunity to experience one, troubled or otherwise. 

Choosing instead to change the subject he asked "So how does a Southern girl end up living in New York? Seduced by the glamorous lifestyle were you?" He tapped his nose at the comment referencing her vice playfully. Though she seemed to have kicked back most if not all of it, he could never forget her state on his opening night at Broadway. He knew he had no business telling her how to live her life, but he was glad that she found her own path out of the darkness even if it was just a brief stop.

That was the real question, wasn’t it? How did she get from Texas to New York? It was one of the biggest reasons she avoided attachments of this sort; she didn’t want to answer these questions. She sipped her coffee as she thought about the best way to explain before she finally decided with a simple, yet truthful, response.

“I was running away. New York was an escape, a chance to start fresh. A chance to be someone new.” Madeline wasn’t ready to get into all the details, not yet. She told herself there was no reason to rush – she would tell him, in time.

“And you’re right; the docks remind me of home. There’s something about sleepy under the stars, wide open, fresh air – you just can’t beat it.” She had trouble finding somewhere similar in New York City; the bright lights tended to drown out the stars.

Deciding it would be best to change the topic away from her, Madeline fed him another bite of pancakes before she spoke again, this time motioning to the envelope that was off to the side.

“I have to admit that I spent some of my time in Arizona poking around about you. Curiosity got the best of me, and I found the orphanage that you mentioned when you told me the story of Malone. I met a woman named Sister Agatha, and she told me some stories about you. She’s a wonderful old lady, although I can’t imagine what it was like growing up under her.”

Madeline looked over at him, hoping he wouldn’t feel she had crossed a line when she tracked down his childhood home. “She asked me to give this to you; she said it had some information on your parents. I’m sorry I didn’t give it to you sooner, I didn’t want to blindside you with it, and there never seems to be a right moment.”

Reminiscing about his past, Alexander wondered if anyone had ever considered Sister Agatha to be a sweet woman. To all the kids she was the demoness from hell determined to seep out what little fun they had left, despite her so-called good intentions. Something didn't quite fit right with what Madeline had just suggested to him. Sister Agatha would not be one to volunteer information about his past out of the blue when she had plenty of opportunities to do so previously.

Curiosity got the better of his manners and with a raised eyebrow, he dodged the bite of pancake Madeline had offered before leaning forward to pick up the envelope. Popping it open he pulled out the dossier. An uneasy feeling came over him as he stared at the cover. To his untrained eye, the paperwork looked legitimate. The timing and the seeming legitimacy of the information made the uneasiness within him grow steadily.

A part of him, perhaps the remnant of his childhood angst, considered tossing the file aside. After all, if his parents had given him up, they had intended to sever all ties with him regardless of the consequences. They had abandoned him to fend for himself and he had done just that. He had survived the orphanage and the brutality of the criminal world on his slow rise to infamy on his own. What good could possibly come from opening this file? Wasn't it better to let sleeping dogs lie?

Yet, another part of him held onto a foolish hope. Perhaps the circumstances were not as black and white. Perhaps the reasons for giving him away were financial or criminal in nature. He held onto a hope that his parents had been helpless even as he realized how improbable that seemed.

Steeling his nerves with a deep breath, he opened the file and peered over the contents quietly. He could feel Madeline's reassuring hand on his shoulder as he flipped the pages but he was too distracted by the information to register the emotion.

Once he was done reading it, he placed the file and the envelope back onto the table. Reaching back behind his ear he pulled out the camel he kept tucked there and placed it in his mouth. Not caring about secondhand smoke, he fumbled in his pocket until he found his lighter and brought it close to his face. He tried to light it once, twice, three times but was unable to and the emotions all just came rushing in. Tossing the lighter at the table forcefully in frustration he broke the coffee mug and spilled the hot liquid onto the floor. Tilting his head back he stared at the ceiling with the cigarette still in his mouth and wondered just how in the hell would he process all he had read.

Madeline watched him as he seemed to be processing what she had said. Although she couldn’t relate to what he was going through, she knew enough to know how big this must be for him; maybe she should have delivered the information differently, although she wasn't sure that actually would have helped. 

After he dodged the bite of pancake and went for the folder, she placed the fork down on the table and quietly waited. Whatever he was thinking was upsetting him, she could see his body tense as his eyes scanned through the folder. She put a hand on his shoulder, her thumb rubbing little circles, trying to comfort him as best she could. She wasn’t sure if he even felt it, but it was all she could do at that moment.

When he was finished and had put the papers down, he tried to light his cigarette. But he couldn’t steady his hands enough to ignite the lighter and frustration caused him to throw it, breaking one of the coffee mugs. The sudden outburst of anger caused Madeline to jump, her whole body tensing. Her fight or flight response kicked in almost automatically, every part of her screaming that she needed to run before he turned his anger onto her. 

Her body tense, she forced herself back to the present with a deep breath. Alex was not Vernon, and he was not going to hurt her. The little voice of doubt responded “Are you sure? You hardly know him.”

She fought the urge to listen to it, instead reaching out and picking up the thrown lighter. She dried it off with a napkin before bringing it to the tip of his cigarette and flicking her thumb to the flame would appear. And then she waited.

As he felt her body tense beside him he was immediately regretful of his childish outburst. Never before had he let anger visibly seep out from within him regardless of all that had transpired. He prided himself on maintaining a calm demeanour regardless of the circumstance and this moment of weakness shamed him. But then again, never before had he been in the position he was in now. There were no manuals or guidelines for situations such as this. He was lost.

When she moved beside him he wondered what she must think of him for his tantrum. He wouldn't blame her for walking off and giving him a cold shoulder. As someone who never really had anyone to rely on in his worst moments, it seemed only natural to him. But Madeline yet again surprised him with her actions. Without offering hollow words of comfort that may have proven meaningless or chastising him for his uncouth behaviour, she brought the lighter near him and lit the cigarette still held within his mouth. 

His apologetic eyes found her supportive ones as he wondered how much more was there to this woman. Reminded of the first time he met her in New York during a troubled time and his naive desire to offer her shelter from the storm of life coupled with the hope of nudging her back away from the darkness, he smiled at the cruel irony of fate as she seemed to be the one sheltering him and helping him recover. 

Taking a long drag, he felt the familiar burn at the back of his throat and closed his eyes as the smoke cascaded out of his mouth. Gazing at her once again, he brought his hand up to caress her cheek appreciatively but hesitated and withdrew as he saw her flinch for the briefest of moments. Turning away he took another drag and felt the shock of what he had read slowly beginning to slip away. Knowing he had to say something, he brought the cigarette out of his mouth and flicked the ash away as he spoke softly  "I thought... I hoped they were dead. As a child, the alternative seemed to cruel to imagine you know? As I grew older, I begin to entertain the possibility that they were poor and could not afford to care for me. As much as it hurt, I'd seen enough sadness in the orphanage to understand it. Once I gained infamy, I struggled with the possibility that my poor parents would come out of the woodwork to find me looking for financial aid. It felt likely even if it broke my heart to be thought of as just a pile of cash to-"

His voice cracked and he paused to take a couple more drags to calm himself again before continuing. "The idea that my father the heir of a wealthy family, a successful businessman and a respected member of society would try to seek me out so many years later was not something I could ever imagine because I couldn't fathom any reason for him to do so if he had abandoned me in the past. And yet, here we are."

Confusion, betrayal, fury, melancholy, a million different emotions swirled in his heart like the cocktails he once made. Unsure of what to do and what to trust, he felt lost. Adrift in a strange sea with only the familiar comforting touch of the woman beside him anchoring him to reality.

Alex seemed genuinely apologetic for his outburst, although when he raised a hand to her face her flinch was almost automatic. He withdrew immediately, and she knew she would have to explain things to him, in time. After a few moments, he began to speak explaining the thoughts that she was sure were running through his mind.

“I can’t imagine what it must feel like for you right now. The nights you spent wondering and dreaming and wishing. When I saw some of those children, well….my heart broke for them.” Madeline had never really thought of having children of her own. But seeing the children at the various orphanages she had visited, it had stirred something in her, something she couldn’t quite put her finger on. Still, that was a problem for another day. “There could be so many reasons he’s seeking you out now Alex. Maybe he didn’t know about you. Maybe he regrets his decisions.” She didn’t want to sound like she was defending the man, however, so she smiled softly as she added “Or maybe he’s just a giant jerk. There’s only one way to know.”

Leaning back into him, Madeline nuzzled his neck, kissing his cheek and saying softly “Tell me what you want to do. If you want to put it away and ignore it for a while, we can do that. If you want to seek him out, we can do that. Whatever you decide I will support you.” Madeline was new in this support role. She had spent so many years focused only on herself; she never allowed herself to be in this kind of situation. But she knew if there was one constant theme the kept reappearing over her time with Alex, it was that Madeline had no intention of running away. 

"I suppose you're right. There really is only one way to know." He affirmed with a sombre smile. As she kissed him on the cheek he leaned back, grateful that she was not easily scared. When he closed his eyes, he felt her hands caressing his unruly hair in a bid to calm it and him down. His hand came to rest delicately on the soft skin of her thigh possessively. With his thumb drawing circles on her knee he opened his eyes and searched deep within her own.

"And yet, I don't quite feel ready to do that anytime soon. But when I do I'd need something from you once again." He added, resting his chin on top of her head. "Would you come see my family with me Mads?" He said with a goofy grin, fully aware of how absurd the request was and how unfair it might seem to her considering how little time they had spent together. Yet, if there was one thing he knew, he couldn't get through this without her help. 

"I know how unreasonable I seem, so take some time and ponder it over." He reassured her as he sat up straight. "In the meantime, I suppose we need something to distract ourselves. Now as lovingly made those shitty pancakes were I think I'm hungry for something else." He continued playfully as he got off the chair, and helped her up. Careful not overexert himself and strain his injured body, he led her away from the food with tender kisses left as breadcrumbs.

Before they lost themselves in throes of fiery passion the only thought resonating within him was and admiration of his foolish attempt to pick up a gun in Detroit for it had led him to her and things had never been the same for him.