There are many motives to commit the perfect murder... especially in this thing of ours.
Now, I'm a lady and I would always pick reason over murder but in case I've to end someone's life I could use some tips and tricks to do so.
So I'm rewarding the total of $500,000 to the person that can tell me, right here, what would be the ideal murder.

As serious as the above might sound, I'm also one to appreciate some witty and comical suggestions... after all a day without laughter is a day you haven't lived.

So what would be the ideal murder? Is there a certain motive that comes with this perfect murder?
I've weak stomach so ripping someone's carcass open with a knife and then barbecuing his organs is not what I am looking for.

To get you going here's some points to take into consideration;

1. Location
2. Murder Weapon
3. Applying the weapon to the Victim
4. Dealing with the corpse
5. Removing the evidence
6. Blame someone else

And.... what if it all goes wrong?!

The best way to get away with the perfect murder, as a lady, is to lure the victim into the open air for a secluded picnic.A park or woodland is great for this. You should ensure the following is taken into account.
1. There is no one else near by. ( have your bodyguards turn casual strollers away.)
2. Make sure there are no sharp implements that the victim can attack you with.
3. Be UPWIND of the victim.

You then get one of these spring loaded pen guns ( available from the KGB) and squirt
cyanide into the victims face. This should ensure a quick death.

After a couple of hours the cyanide's distinctive smell wears off and leaves all the symptoms of a heart attack. There is only the minutest trace in the body of the cyanide but most doctors would agree that the victim suffered a massive coronary.

As to the disposal of the corpse, A phone call when you have left the area to 911 would ensure that the authorities remove the rubbish so it does not spoil the scenery.

As long as you clear up after you there should be no trace of your presence.

You can always set up some hooker to take the fall for you if it all goes wrong.

Hope this is of assistance

Pat over hears Syrup and thinks of the perfect murder while scratching his/her genitals while.

Well Syrup, being a well mannered lady such as yourself, I don't really want to get my well manicured nails dirty so I'll tell you what I like to do.  I like to make a booty call and call up my victim and tell him to meet me at the zoo late at night.  I tell him I've always wanted to make love near lions.  So, once we start making out passionately giving him a burn on his face from my stubbly beard (the last thing on his mind will be a set-up do to my awesome kissing action) I simply push him over the fence with my womanly strength and let nature take its course.  That's how I got rid of all my stalkers...

Pat sighs...

Sometimes it's just so hard being so beautiful.  I'm sure you understand Syrup.

Location? The Middle of NYC, when its most crowded.
Weapon? Obviously a shard of glass.
#3? Shove it into their neck, first, from there move down to their lower body, back up to their face, shove the piece of glass in their face, let them lay in a pool of their blood, spit in his/her face. Walk away casually.

Well...lets say I have a business rival and he has lately been cramping down on the necessary legitimate businesses I have under my control. Now, I could just ignore it and supplement my legits with capital from the illegal side of my enterprises. That however, could draw attention.

Therefore, the rival needs to be eliminated. However, this also calls for the damaging of my rivals business so a double murder would be required. That of the physical and that of the economical.

Now the best way to murder someone is to make it so all blame falls somewhere else. There can’t be a shred of evidence pointing to me, even only in passing. So...two options. Make it look like suicide or make it look like an accident. I’m going to choose suicide and explain why in a moment.

To make a man look as though he’s taken his own life, you need to make it seem as those a suddenly drastic and life changing (for the worse) event as occurred. The stock market is perfect for what I want to happen. What could be more damaging then having the company you’ve slowly developed and established, despite all the adversities, fall into a sudden and vicious scandal?

All that is needed is to say the right words. Have associates pay off a few guys to say this and that, let half truths and falsehoods fester, and finally...make it so it all comes out on a Friday.

Now you may be wondering how I’ll make it look like a suicide, if the guy doesn’t take his life. This involves paying off the man’s cook and his servant (All men of wealth have such things mind you) . The cook will feed him heavily spiced food and a glass of wine containing the poison hemlock. After the man has expired the servant, upon orders given by me via a third party, will take it upon himself to:

A. Damage the man’s room in such a fashion to make it appear to have occurred via the man itself during a fit of rage. Mutilating via serious cuts across the hands will be a good cover for this.

B. Spread about the man’s desk a “handwritten” (really written by me, in a fashion that looks hurried and therefore should fool anybody) suicide note, liberally dropped with blood from the man in question.

C. To ensure foul play isn’t suspected, large amounts of various medications  (crushed pills, ideally), should be left in the man’s mouth.

Now all that is left is to eliminate both the cook and servant who aided in the operation. This isn’t something that needs to be taken care of suddenly but the sooner, the better. As they aren’t important, a simple midnight mugging “gone wrong” would suffice.

All that is left of the entire affair would be the associates that were part of making the company lose it’s value, via rumors and such that always travel through the stock market at a furious pace. No need to worry about the associates though...as being my men, I know how to ensure their loyalty.

1. Location: Preferably the victim's house; nighttime, little to no activity in the rest of the household.

2. Murder Weapon: Needled Syringe filled with Succinylcholine Chloride.

3. Applying the weapon to the Victim: Stick victim underneath the tongue or in gums,(hole of needle will continue to close up even after death, leaving no indication of foul play. Also, this drug metabolizes very quickly, also signyfying no foul play. ;)

4. Dealing with the corpse: Make sure body is room temperature or warmer until the coroner gets to him/her

5. Removing the evidence: Use your imagination

6. Blame someone else: No need. To do so with no evidence will only raise suspiscion of your very own involvement.

A most interesting question Syrup. The perfect murder if such a thing exists needs to be planned carefully. The location would have to be somewhere private, where witnesses are unlikely. I would suggest the vitims car, or an elevator. Murder weapon is always tricky, but I would have to suggest poison.

It's unclear whether any there is such a thing as untraceable poisons per se, but there are some which may have no test for them yet, or which break down so quickly before the person dies as to be undetectable at the time of death. Personally I would recommend Abrin. Abrin is a natural poison that is found in the seeds of a plant called the rosary pea or jequirity pea. It can be formed into a powder, a gas, or a pellet to disolve in liquids and is highly toxic. There is no known cure for Abrin, so once it enters the body the victim is pretty much guarenteed to die. If it is made into a powder, you can place it in the air vent of the victims car, or as a mist/Gas you could lie in wait above an elevator and deploy it into the car whilst it is in transit. It is an odourless, tasteless compound, but does have a slight yellow hue. Abrin works by penetrating the cells of the body and inhibiting cell protein synthesis. By attaching to a carbohydrate chain on the cell surface, the abrin molecule anchors itself to the cell, is subsequently engulfed and enters the inner parts of the cell where it reacts with a ribosomal subunit and interferes with the normal protein synthesis process of the cell. Without these proteins, cells cannot survive. This is harmful to the human body and will be fatal.

Within a few hours of inhaling abrin, the likely symptoms would be respiratory distress, fever, cough, nausea, and tightness in the chest. Heavy sweating may follow as well as pulmonary edema. This would make breathing even more difficult, and the skin might turn blue. Excess fluid in the lungs would be diagnosed by x-ray or by listening to the chest with a stethoscope. Finally, low blood pressure and respiratory failure may occur, leading to death. Death would occur anyware from 36 to 72 hours after inhalation, and if an autopsy where performed it would likely point to heart failure as cause of death due to the fluid in the lungs and cyanosis of the skin.

You would not have to deal with the corpse as there is currently no means to test for Albrin poisoning. Furthermore, as Albrin is a highly stable compound, it could be created months or even years in advance, making it hard to prove that the murderer had any contact with the poison itself or had been in contact with the plants from which the poison is extracted. As indicated, due to the apparent 'natural causes' of the death in question, there would be no need to blame a 3rd Party, however it would be easy enough to place a small amount of the poison into the possession of a suitable victim if police interest was roused.

Alternatively, you could go the path of complete destruction of the victim. Lure them to a pre-set location and murder them with a heavy single blow to the head from a natural weapon, such as a wooden club. The murder must be a single blow otherwise it would cause blood to splatter around the scene. Next remove all identification from the vitim, all clothes, any dentures, rings etc and burn them completely before buying the ashes. Place the body into a vat of concentrated sulphic acid, about 40 gallons should be sufficient. After 2-3 days the body will be reduced to sludge. After that simply tip the contents into a drain or nearby water way, which will dispose of the acid, and the sludge as well as any remaining undisolvable items such as gall stones or kidney stones. The container itself should then be flushed or burned clean before disposing of it as far from the murder sight as posible. All clothes you wore should be washed and donated to a charitable cause for dispersal to the homeless or impoverished.

Quoth thinks for a moment trying to see if he has covered all bases, before nodding in satisfaction.

Just my thoughts on the subject.

You always try to one up me, don't you Quoth?

Too damn good at it too, my friend!

I took forensic science so i think i could help with this.

You'd want to strangle the person to death as not to leave a murder weapon. Then remove all the teeth and crush them with a hammer. Then you'd want to cut off the fingers to make sure they can't be finger printed to identify the body. then you'd want to burn the body untill nothing is left but bones. then take the hammer and break up the bones to the smallest pieces you could manage. this is important because they will not be able to identify the sex or race of the corpse if done right.  spread the remains around the bottom of a lake and toss the hammer in. your going to want to ditch the cloths and sneakers you were waring in a dumpster far away from the scene of the crime. also its preferable if you walk because beleive it or not you can be linked to the scene of a crime by the dirt on your tires and the insects in the grill of your car. thats why your going to want to ditch them sneakers you were wearing. this is a very time consumeing process but the only true way to leave no trace behind.

as far as a place some where secluded. this would work on anyone not carrying a gun. if the above methods done correctly you leave no physical evidence behind and you dont need any complex process or months to plan. The work will be greusume but, there would be no way to link you to the crime. the only thing with this method you have to worry about is witness's, but signifigantly less than any other. all you need is a hammer lots of gas and a boat or a bridge to toss the shit off of.

Motives to commit the Perfect Murder

You may have many reasons, both logical and illogical, to wish somebody to die. However first, we must consider the positives and negatives of having a motive. Motives are often used by detectives to catch so called "criminals". It may prove more beneficial to murder a complete stranger. Beware getting away with your first Perfect Murder and moving on to second, third and fourth murders. You may develop an M.O. which would allow you to be caught, and revert your murder to imperfect status.

Bearing this in mind, if you are still convinced you have to kill somebody you know, here is a list of possible reasons:

• They slept with your wife/husband/sister/brother/daughter/son/household pet
• They refused to sleep with your wife/husband/sister/brother/daughter/son/household pet
• They attempted to kill you, or a close relative/friend - see revenge
• They did kill you, or a close relative/friend - please note killing from beyond the grave requires less discretion, unless Ghostbusters are nearby
• They plagiarized your book/filmscript/Uncyclopedia article
• They are of a different faith/religion than yourself, or are a dirty heathen (atheist) - "God told me to do it"
• They used the Death Star to destroy your home planet of Alderaan
• They overcharged/undercharged you at Tescos
• They are a particularly good/bad president of a particularly small/large country
• Hypnotism
• Boredom
• In the name of Science
• For the lulz.

A Brief Explanation of Physical Evidence

In the process of Solving Crime, a department of the police, known as CSI, will collect the crimescene, package it into small plastic bags and take it back to their lab. There they will poke it, mix it with coloured liquids, fire guns at it, electrocute it, interview it and then arrest it. Once the evidence is processed, it will become apparent if any evidence is missing, so it can be planted and discovered in a subsequent search, or if any evidence doesn't make sense or causes unnecessary paperwork. This evidence will likely be lost or assigned to another case.

However, during this process the evidence may give you up. Physical evidence is a liability. Therefore, if at all possible, try to kill someone imphysically. Some popular methods are the use of mind bullets, from 200 miles away, inhabiting another person's body or just kill everyone who may be likely to ever discover that it was you who committed the crime.

The Murder

Step 1: Location, Location, Location

The location is of critical importance. As with all stages in the Perfect Murder, there should be no connection between it, you, and the victim. Hence you must gather yourself, your murder kit and the victim in a place neither of you normally visit. A suitable method would be to invite them for a picnic. But don't phone them - that leaves a record -

Step 2: The Murder Weapon

Unlike Aliens, which can only be killed by blowing them out of an airlock, there are literally thousands of ways to kill a man. And several hundred ways to kill a woman due to their exoskeleton several times stronger than that of a man, mainly as a result of lifelong exposure to bitchiness. For the sake of convenience we will concentrate on the most popular and least traceable methods.

• Mach 3 Triple Bladed Katana - need I say any more?
• A sharpened icicle - one of the best choices if within your life you do not have the unlimited pleasure of coming across the Mach 3 Triple Bladed Katana; the evidence will destroy itself. Must be used quickly.
• A knife - not the one with which children cut their pencil (only serial killers in movies can use that, besides one needs a lot of strength to use that, so use that only when you have 'time' to kill and not a person), rather possibly the one which the butchers use, the ones found in the kitchen are easy to use too. It is a sharp weapon to skilfully or non-skilfully execute the job at hand or the neck in hand. One doesn't need to be sharp to use this weapon.But please use gloves while holding it.
• A gun - guns can be found in bins, strapped under cars, inside folded newspapers and in every schoolchild's backpack. Remember to replace after use.
• A car - do not use your own car. Do not borrow a friend's or neighbour's either 'cause that leaves a trail. Steal a car from a nearby Wal*Mart.
• A heavy object, for example, a brick, candlestick, or poker.
• Pills - available from your local drug dealer or corrupt doctor
• Knives - this is so good its in here twice: any carving or chopping knife should suffice. For more of a challenge try table knives, bread knives, butter knives, and putty knives.
• Hammer and stake - vampires only
• A notebook - only works if it is of the Death Note variety.
• Pushing them off a building - I think this makes the building the murder weapon. Be sure you have a licence
• Peanuts - 0.01% of the time, they work every time
• Fire - combine with water and the holy word for maximum effect
• Prayer - "Dear God, if you smite my enemy, I will eat this Twix bar in your honour. If you agree, give me no sign. Amen"
• A pillow - smother them, then cry into it when overcome with grief/remorse/joy
• A BB gun - walk till approximately 1 micrometer from them and then shoot them in the mouth, only when it's opened though.
• An Icicle - stab them anywhere you want and the evidence melts.

Step 3: Applying the Weapon to the Victim

Do what it says on the tin, only harder. Do your utmost not to bleed whilst doing this, or they will use your DNA to beat you to death. Also avoid: being bitten, biting them (unless you're into that kind of thing), spitting, losing any hairs or clothing fibres. Try not to lose your fingerprints, you may need them later.

Congratulations! You've killed your first person!

Step 4: Dealing with the Corpse

It is a good idea to make the body unrecognisable. This way Johnny Law won't know where to start looking for a killer, give up and go arrest some doughnuts. Chop off the hands and feet and burn them. Smash up the teeth with a hammer or similar. If you chose blunt force trauma as cause of death, you may want to re-use your weapon and save the environment. Using a syringe, extract all the DNA and dispose of it into a lake. Grate off all tattoos and birthmarks. I wouldn't use your grater again if you are picky about hygiene. Don't be an ass, help your community - carefully remove and bag each organ, place them in a freezer box. Leave the Bumper Organ Gift Box on the Hospital doorstep. Finally, remove the face - you may wish to keep this as a trophy, but remember - keep it at your grandmother's.

All done? Good. Now you have an indistinguishable, hollow torso - throw this in a river, or freeze it at your local supermarket. The choice is yours.

Step 5: Removing the Evidence

If you follow this simple guide you will carefully and systematically remove all evidence. Do not miss out any stages - it will result in an Imperfect Murder:

• Clean the murder weapon, but keep it for later
• Vacuum up the murder scene, then wash it down with bleach - if the police get ill they will be less lenient
• Drive out to the woods. Upon arriving, burn all your clothes and push your car into the sea. Then have a wash - use bleach, your skin will grow back
• Get a taxi home, then kill the taxi driver. Don't try and cover it up, nobody cares about taxi drivers
• Blow up your house
• Move into a motel
• Have a cup of tea, it's been a long day

Step 6: Blame someone else

Have you kept your murder weapon? Excellent. Here's what you do. Invite your neighbour or mother in law round for dinner. After a satisfying meal, ask them if they'd like to see your gun (try not to sound like your coming onto them, emotional attachment is a weakness), or other murder weapon. Get them to hold it. If they refuse, simply sedate them then rub your weapon all over their face.

Then go bury the weapon in their back garden. If you chose a car as your weapon, you may wish to hire a digger.

Should they find further evidence to prove it was you, repeat the previous six steps incorporating everyone who now knows that you are the murderer

Step 7: Change your identity and move to Mexico

(AKA: Lying low) This does not require physically low lying, unless a particularly tall police person is looking for you. Get plastic surgery - make yourself appear unrecognisable. For example, if you're Brazilian, go Irish, if you're Irish, go Chinese, if you're Chinese, go Human. Get a fake passport, driver's licence, birth certificate. These are all available on eBay. Don't use your own credit cards to buy them - steal some from your victim. Well, he doesn't need them any more does he?

What to do if it all goes wrong

A very small amount of Uranium 235 and 2 pounds of Plutonium usually does the trick. Added by Undernomeder

Horrors! The Police are at your secret motel room and want to "have a chat". Don't fear, the game isn't up yet. Just keep your cool and it'll all be over by Christmas (possibly later if you committed the murder during the winter months

Interview technique

Appearance is important. Either wear a nice suit or a white one-piece dress with no underwear. Lie. Plead insanity. Claim Swiss nationality. Hire a fancy lawyer. DO NOT mention this article. The interrogator will attempt four methods to get you admit your guilt. These are as follows:

• Lie - they will pretend to have some damming evidence and say you might as well own up it'll make the paperwork easier. Don't believe them. Invite them for a game of poker - this will allow you to know when they're bluffing, and you may win enough money for a fancy lawyer.
• Guilt trap - they will tell you about the family's anguish, and how the victim suffered. They will make you want to make yourself suffer as a penance. Avoid guilt, kill someone without family, who cannot feel pain. Long term coma sufferers are ideal.
• The Bad Cop/Really Bad Cop routine - they unplug the CCTV camera, swivel their chair round and mount it rodeo style. This is their way of telling you you're about to get ridden. They will beat the confession out of you if they have to, and maybe if they don't have to as well. Learn Kung Fu, wear camouflage, keep your murder kit handy - just remember, if it's self defence, it doesn't count.
• Polygraph test - these measure your pulse rate to see if you're lying. Either be a robot or use a friend's heart - that way, if you lie, they get sent down.

There is no perfect murder always there will be witness or evidence just sometimes somebody deciedes not to talk about it or to hide evidence

haha become the redhood

KatieMurdock had come out to the streets today to walk her shih tzu, but noticed a few people crowding around the curb just across the street from the park. She noticed SyrupWaffle speaking to the crowd about the perfect murder. As others discussed their perfect murder Katie was quickly swallowed up by her own past and her own perfect murder.

Jimmy was his name and smooth was his game. He had picked Katie up at the soda shop and before she knew it she was smitten. So were five other girls, but Katie didn't know that at the time. Jimmy persuaded her to let him take her to the movies where he whispered sweet nothings into her ear. He told her it would be a good idea if they had sleep overs to keep each other warm on cold winter nights and he told her how much he loved her and how perfect she was for him. Jimmy even told Katie that he wanted to marry her one day, they'd have kids and live on a big farm out in the country and leave the life of crime behind him.

Katie was completely in love with all of it until she found out the truth. Jimmy persuaded lots of girls to let him take them to the movies, into their beds and promising them marriage, kids and farm. That's when Katie bought her first gun.

Jimmy had taken an early flight to New Orleans for "business", but at this point Katie knew better. Business just meant another girl in another town. She took a flight down south a few hours after him. Once she was off the plane she made her way towards the back alley she usually sold her drugs on. Even thought Katie had lived the life of crime for almost her whole life, her mom started her young, she had never was one to kill. The man she sold and bought drugs from pointed her in the right direction. This dealer was so strung out on his own product that he wouldn't remember this or would think it as a hallucination. Katie knew she'd have to cover her tracks.

Katie sat in her hotel room. A shot gun and bullets laying out on the bed, a dark shade rain coat folded neatly next to it. Rain boots sat on the floor and she held a brochure for the swamps in her hand. Katie dialed the operator and was connected to the call she had placed.

Jimmy! She squealed as if he was the greatest thing in her life. I'm in town, yes New Orleans, oh I know you'll be home tomorrow, but I just couldn't stand another lonely night without you. Plus I had some business to take care. Yes, but that's done now and I've rented a car. Ever sense I was a child I've always wanted to go see a real gator, would you take me Jimmy? Pleaseeee

As Katie hung up the phone a wicked smile blossomed on her lips. She was to meet him at his hotel in an hour and that wasn't much time to get ready. Katie pulled out a pink summer dress from her suitcase and replaced her current outfit with it. She applied red lipstick to her plump lips and put her hair up. As she looked at herself in the mirror she gave herself a pat on the back. It was the same outfit she had worn the night she met Jimmy, it was going to be last outfit he saw her in. The thought of full circle sat well in her stomach.

Jimmy took the wheel once Katie picked him up from his hotel. Katie plastered a smile across her face and talked about joyful things as she thought about the shotgun waiting for her in the trunk. They drove a few hours south and when it started to rain Katie pleaded with Jimmy to keep going, she had brought them rain coats and boots and explained to him again how much this would mean to her and she'd do anything for him if he continued. Of course he agreed, he thought he had the upper hand in this one and she could already see him daydream about bedroom sports he would have her participate in later.

Katie told him that she wanted to see a real gator, not one that was fed by tourists every day. She fluttered her eye lashes and puckered her lips and Jimmy said he knew just the spot. A secluded place he could take her and they could have some real excitement.

Oh Jimmy, it's perfect!

Katie exclaimed once the car was in park. She quickly got out and encouraged Jimmy to go find them a spot, she told him she'd grab the rain coats and a blanket. They were definitely in the swamp, but the ground they parked on and would sit and watch the water was solid enough to hold them and the car. Katie opened the trunk with the key, she pulled the rain coat over her head, took off her heals and pulled the rain boots over her petite feet. Last, but not least, she pulled the shotgun out making sure it was loaded and went to find Jimmy.

He stood there, like the perfect target, just like she had stood in the soda shop. Unknowing to his plan, to his lies. Rage filled Katie's mind and revenge moved her silently behind him. She cocked the gun and before he could even turn around Katie let the gun discharge in her hands. This caused a terrible mess, Katie was glad she thought of the rain coat. Jimmy's lifeless body fell to the ground and made a splat noise in the wet weeds as it made impact. Katie crouched and pushed the body into the water.

At first the body sank deep into the murky water, but then it sort of floated back up. Katie began to panic, she hadn't prepared for this. What if someone would come over to this spot, another couple looking for a private place from all the tourists and discover the body. She had hoped the gators would come and feast on it rather quickly and just as she was beginning to think of her doom. Murder charges, prison. She was too pretty for prison. Just then, an alligator's head creeped up past the surface of the water. The water was stained red in the area that the body was, Katie watched as another gator started to swim over to it.

The alligator's scared her to death, she had always been scared of them lurking in the murky swamp waters, but knew that if she was able to control her fear for a few minutes it'd be the best way to get rid of a body and the evidence. Katie scurried away from the waters edge, but walked a few feet south where she dumped the rain coat, boots and gun in a heep of swamp moss, twigs and branches. By this time Katie was terrified, her anxiety was peaking and she knew she had to get out of there. She found the keys where she left them on the hood of the car and cranked the engine. Only until she was back on a main highway did she let herself take a deep breath and feel satisfied with the job she just completed.

A siren pulled Katie out of her day dream and back to the streets. Her dog was barking and a siren wailed from a few blocks away.

A perfect murder starts with a reason and ends with satisfaction.

Katie smiled and stayed for awhile to listen to the others speak about their perfect murders.

When asking you guys for the perfect murder I didn't expect there were so many brilliant mafiosi out there with such unique ideas.
I, unfortunately, forgot to announce the date for when I stop taking submissions.

This competition will close on November the 9th at 12:00.

If you're still brewing up a plan you've till then to submit it.

Thank you!

<em>Buddhistic steps forward from the crowd smiling broadly and begins to speak.</em>

To commit the perfect murder would mean absolutely no negative repercussions, karmic or otherwise. I urge you all not to say such a thing is impossible, for that will only

cement your conciousness beneath a low cieling and you will not attempt half of anything you view in such a light.

To do such a thing would only require entering a deep meditative state, from this state you may attain and become No-thingness, past the wall of No-thingness floats

Nirvana, once nirvana is attained you now have ultimate, yet exponential knowledge (for knowledge, like space is ever expanding-Einstein). Since knowledge is power, and

you now have knowledge the entity, under your reality's control, you may attain Buddhadom.

And from there: Buddha the Destroyer or the Teacher.

<em>The crowd stares blankly at Buddhistic, who senses impending violence. He attempts to slowly blend back into the crowd only to be immediately pushed aside, ducking just in time to dodge a half empty whiskey bottle, he turns and flees for his life, the mob shaouting and hollering as it gives chase.</em>

Decisions, decisions, decisions....

An amazing amount of replies, I thank you all.
Today, especially later tonight I've planned to read them all carefully and announce the winner and with that the funds.

I apologize for the delay, Marcus is making me do all sorts of things that prevented me from this earlier.

Thank you all for participating and we shall speak soon!

should we be worried that this many people have this many ideas on how not to get caught in a murder?

What you should really be worried about are the ones who read this but did not reply. Why tell everyone our methods of not getting caught?

Due to so many murder plans I discovered it's harder to pick a winner than I initially thought....
Five people have been selected to be considered as the winner...

-stormy-
Ancalagon
Quoth_the_Raven
Edgar_Frog
KatieMurdock

I've called some of my waffle friends to aid, my godfather and my best mafia girlfriend to help me with this decision.

So a little longer wait, I hope to have the results soon!

Syrup "The Whipped" Waffle bows

I know that this little competition is over, but I have just got to put my input.

Your motive? You don't need one. You're in the mafia, which means

Who saw it and who's gonna tell? Answer: What happened

So anyway, your weapon is a 10ft hole in the ground and a barrel filled with gasoline. The kind of metal barrel with a hole at the top cut specifically for a metal pipe to slide in and slide out. Then you stick the pour idiot in the barrel with the gasoline and lower the barrel of gasoline and idiot to the bottom of the 10 foot whole, with the hole part up of course. Then you slide the metal pipe into the whole of the barrel, and carefully start filling in the dirt. Oh, and you're in the middle of the woods so you'll have plenty of time and there is no one for miles. Anyway, once your dirt is filled in and your pipe is sticking out of the ground send your fuse, that has been measured to 12 feet long, down the pipe. Then you light the fuse and set back and watch for the smoke. You have just created an incenterator(spelling). Now just sit and wait about an hour and pull the pipe out of the ground with some really good heat resistant gloves. Then as you're walking back to the pick up car, that you have set up to arrive at that specific spot and specific time, you throw your pipe into a near by creek.

You get completely away with it. Because there is no murder weapon, there are no traces of struggle, fingerprints, or dna transfer. And the barrel is to far into the ground for metal detectors and plus the heat from the the fire and gas has reduces metalic elements of the barrel. So...ummm...what happen to the guy...I don't know.

I know this competition is over but whoever wins this, and if you like this little missing persons case. Which makes it the perfect murder. No victim, no weapon, no suspect, no witnessess, and no evidence of anything. But if you like this, all I ask for is 75000 just to help me through training.

I call this method "The Core of the Earth".

Jimmy Tomberello