Not so fat but sexy man, stumbles, podium, mic

"So if you haven't heard, as if you could have since this is my official announcement of it, the M.M.S.F.M is coming to town!"

Confusing stares amongst crowd

"Oh and what is that Dick face?" Franky_Wacko shouts from the crowd.

"Yes Dick face nice one. The M.M.S.F.M Mr. Wacko, is the one and only Mafia's Most Sexy Fucking Monkey award. That's right, it's an epidemic baby! Leader's everywhere have been seen in their new disguise's as monkey's to evade the FBI on diplomatic discussions over seas. What they are discussing is unknown. Last time I heard it had something to do with Tony and his gambling habits. Who knows, but what we do know is that it's held in an area heavily populated by various species of monkeys. So in order to fit in they have created a way to use disguise. Recently I have caught a photograph of them and I shall reveal their identities."

Gasp (I know right?)

"Now every unmasking can't happen without a celebration of such, and too do so, I am hosting a contest for the population to decide on which Family leader has the sexiest monkey disguise. Now! This is where the fun begins. I'm setting up separate bulletin boards where votes will be logged. Each vote taken will be displayed on the bulletin for everyone to keep track of their votes and ensuring they get what they paid for."

Vote cost chart:

* 1 vote : $5,000 -$4,500 goes to contest pot-

* 50 votes: $150,000 (Save $100,000!!) -$125,000 goes to contest pot-

* 100 votes: $300,000 (Save $200,000!!!) -$275,000 goes to contest pot-

"Yes there is a fee I'm taking for votes. Reason being? I put the effort into doing this for one, and for two, well you can understand why here after a few more rules.

*1) No Members from TonyCorelli's family is eligible too vote nor is TonyCorelli up for vote. That is to prevent any issue's with accusations of any favoritism in any shape form or fashion. That is not what I am about. However; doing this prevents my family from benefiting, so the fees which are accrued from votes will be sent directly to TonyCorelli for my families benefits. I will not personally keep a dime from this contest. If I am caught doing so I will tell my body guard to stand down and put myself up on the chopping blocks for any gun.

*2) You may vote as many time's as you want. But you may want to consider buying in package deals, whether it's getting together with a few buddies and going in together or not. It will save some cash in the long run.

*3) Contest will end 24 hours from the time of this posting. So spread the word cause the more votes you cast for your Family or whoever you feel deserves the award, the better chance they are to win the award and cash. Which by the way has the potential to be a HUGE chunk of change. Get out here and represent!

*4) Remember, every vote will be recorded on the bulletin boards. If you contest anything, it is there for you to see. I will also display the amount made from votes and amount distributed for validation of fairness.

"Really only 4 rules for playing. Fairly easy right? This is simply an idea to get something interesting going that benefits the good in the community and maybe just maybe, convince a few Mafioso's out there to work together to achieve something as a whole. The cash award benefits your family greatly, for your leaders wealth has a lot to do with the strength of your family. Whether it be by implementing new hands for protection, or to purchase larger offices for employment. Plus, it's just fun as hell!"

Crowd Excited

"So below is the list of current leadership, their mugshot and their bulletin board where i'll update the votes regularly. All you have to do is drop me a line with your amount of votes. Subject your notification with "Vote" and just state amount, then wire cash and presto complete. Ready to have some fun monkeys?"

Drexler - Photo - Bulletin


Falcao - Photo - Bulletin


DavyJones - Photo - Bulletin


Cherokee - Photo - Bulletin

Sal - Photo - Bulletin


Whatsername - Photo - Bulletin


TheSmilingAssassin - Photo - Bulletin



RoRoG - Photo - Bulletin



Caveman - Photo - Bulletin


Altidore - Photo - (On the right) - Bulletin


Derek - Photo - Bulletin

CharlieCroker - Photo - Bulletin

Captain_Stubing - Photo - Bulletin


-Bruiser-Andolini- Photo - Bulletin


Ragnarok - Photo - Bulletin

JohnSmith - Photo - Bulletin


Llywelyn_ap_Myrddin - Photo - Bulletin


Marcus - Photo - Bulletin


LaQuenta - Photo - Bulletin



"So there you have it folks. As you can notice I did not include any Godfather because honestly, they generally have a smaller member list so it would be pointless. Now however, they are able to cast votes for whomever they'd like. So once again I'd like to thank all those who participate, those who don't, well you suck my first name. No really, I love you all. Good luck contestants!!"

First votes has been casted. Who has the early lead? Altidore with 50 votes!!!

Want to change the leader board? Well you can, start voting and help who you choose rise to the top!

I declare shennanigans on this contest! Whatsername is wearing overalls! There's nothing more adoreable then a monkey in overalls! How are we supposed to compete with that?

She's wearing clothes?

What's shennanigans is I posted the wrong picture!!! You should have seen fifteen minutes after that, it was ape magic.

Contest Pot as of right now: Federal $3,650,000

Want your family to win? Get to voting!!!!! Good luck!

Aww. C'mon when ya make him all fat n all, Sal will never win. :(

The production and consumption of a certain pastry is pretty conducive to said fatness. ;-)

No matter the size or shape of a particular Sal - it's the nature of the heart inside that matters.

And while the blood vessels attached to them might be a little plaque filled and hardened, we've been blessed with a big loving heart. We're also orally fixated! Winks at Whatsername

Amen!

I wonder who's going to win. Just a few more hours to go....

glances at Whatsername

Standings:



Whatsername 1350 total votes
Altidore 1200 total votes
Marcus 100 total votes

Current Cash Pot:

$6,950,000


With just under two hours left we have a close race!!! Want to see your leader on the board? Only one way to do that, and that's to vote.

Good luck!

Looks like the two front runners have a bit of a lead. What sexy monkeys they truly are. I guess Whatsername finally decided on some makeup and Altidore took off his wig. Greatest luck to both of you!

I have heard a rumor TheDean isn't happy that he hasn't been included, on hearing about this competition he had been spreading the wealth around people to fund a serious effort to win!!!

thats time right???? who won

And time is up!!!!! Let me go through the final stages... Get all the funds together, and ensure all the votes are accounted for. Thank you all for participating!!! Hope you had as much fun as I did!

RW goes to work on the results

And the winner is?

CONTEST RESULTS & STATISTICS!!

Total Cash Collected: $14,925,000

Amount To Winner: $14,550,000

Fee's Accrued For Family: $375,000

RESULTS:

Altidore: 3600 total votes

Whatsername: 1750 total votes

Marcus: 100 votes total


Your accountant makes note that $14,550,000 has been wired to Altidore from your account.


'Congrats Altidore!!! You truly are Mafia's Most Sexy Fucking Monkey!!!'

:D

Clearly my monkey brings all the Mob to the yard! That takes skill.

Skill, and those sunglasses.

Though I wonder who the companion in the cheap lipstick is....

I believe that is Alabama... she's a call girl not a whore... there's a difference apparently.

A very big difference, Mr Raven.