In the animal justice system, mammal-based labor infractions are considered especially heinous.  In Chicago city, the dedicated animals who investigate these incidents are members of an elite squad known as Good Boy, Inc. These are their stories.

WOOF WOOF

Courtesy of barbiturates and a need to kill time, Spaceman gently awoke as he found himself in an abandoned warehouse on the outskirts of The Loop, a crisp forty five degrees inside the warehouse separating him from a particularly sleet-heavy morning in Chicago as the Godfather waited in hiding for a flight to take him and Rubix safely back to Philadelphia. The accommodations were unflattering;  Spaceman shifted out of his makeshift bed of newspapers and tarp materials that were located around the warehouse.  As he moved into view of the ground floor, Spaceman spotted a mass of black in his eye-line before scrambling to get up in a surprise, noticing a large Labrador retriever huddled with Rubix - who himself had spatters of red on him.

"Who.. why?"  Spaceman exclaimed as he looked at both dogs.  A brief whine came from the retriever, who yielded to Spaceman and rolled over slowly, revealing a large cut on the side of the dog that had scabbed over.

"Oh, man.." Spaceman exhaled as he examined the wound, curious to the cut's origins and Rubix's additions.  Rubix whined with concern, briefly smelling the dog's face before offering it a single lick as he turned and examined the wound himself.

Spaceman turned to Rubix, making eye contact with the dog as the sound of raindrops clashed against the metal of the warehouse.

"What happened, boy? Did you get in a fight?"

"Woof."

Rubix walked to the entrance of the warehouse, giving Spaceman a commanding "Woof" to follow along as the doctor joined him at the entrance of the warehouse; a blue metal door barely propped open.  

"Woof!"

Spaceman cracked the door open - a view of mostly dark concrete and rain before noticing a slumped over figure several feet away from the entrance.  Rubix growled and took a defensive posture as he looked at the figure along with Spaceman, who began to investigate the body.  Multiple areas that appeared to have been mauled repeatedly, culminating in a bloody gash of a throat that appeared to have caused exsanguination.  A familiar paw print was visible on the body.

Spaceman winced as he looked at Rubix, who now had an accomplished look on his face along with an all too chipper tail wagging.  A justified murder was afoot. 

Rubix barked once more, he had been quite productive while his human was in a slurred stupor. There was more to show him, he needed him to follow. He barked twice and two rottweilers stood up from the tall grass and took wing positions on each side of Spaceman. The makings of a pack safely escorted the Godfather to a back alley near The Loop. The rottweiler on the right howled upon hitting the alley. There were a few moments of silence before a whole manner of animals started to accumulate, Spaceman paid special attention to the pack mules and Sheep dogs.

The animals had blocked both sides of the alley way off. Rubix summoned a deep bark,

WOOF

The animals in unison began to bow down, ready to help escort them safely to the nearest airstrip. Spaceman thought Rubix had an accomplished look before but now he knew the reason why. He spent the next few minutes of the walk wondering just how long he was babysat by a lookalike Rubix. 

Spaceman pondered Rubix's animal kingdom as he noticed cats, pack mules and sheep dogs lined up in unison under the dog's command.  A small Dachshund humbly approached Spaceman with a roll of paper wedged neatly in the dog's teeth.  Spaceman lowered himself to the dog and gently lifted the paper out of the Dachshund's mouth, unrolling it to reveal what appeared to be an arbitration decision.

Good Boy, Inc.

Franz Fur-dinand

v.

Sergeant Barkowitz

FACTS

On November 12th at approximately 8:20 PM at the intersection of the Big Tree and the Meat Shoppe, the possession of Petitioner's rabbit-shaped squeaky toy came into possession of Defendant, Sergeant Barkowitz, after Petitioner's hostile encounter with a postal worker caused aforementioned squeaky toy to drop from Petitioner's mouth.  Petitioner attempted chase of Defendant, but was apprehended by Petitioner's Human Companions and was left without recourse on the day of the incident.

WHEREIN Petitioner contacted the Service (Good Boy, Inc.) to arbitrate said dispute and to receive compensation for loss of property, Good Boy Inc's investigators were provided with an assortment of Petitioner's previous toy items to catalog and reference for olfactory purposes for the intent of search and retrieval; Defendant was found to be a member of said Service's founding and was thus bound by the Service's terms for resolution dispute between members.  

WHEREIN through an olfactory search spearheaded by the Service's Find & Retrieve unit, led by Mr. Peanutbutter, an investigative unit was deployed at Defendant's known residence.  A brief excavation of unsettled soil by Defendant's primary residence (a wooden dog house painted in red and white) revealed Petitioner's property in Defendant's possession.  An analysis was undertaken by the Service's forensic team which was able to verify the olfactory scent as well as match Petitioner's bite patterns on the property.  Defendant then attempted to flee the residence, where he was apprehended by the Service's restraint team.  Once restrained, Defendant admitted to theft by taking of Petitioner's property.

DECISION

Based on the evidence presented, it is the decision of the Service that Petitioner be awarded full restitution of Petitioner's rabbit-shaped squeaky toy with swift effect.  In addition, punitive damages will be awarded to Petitioner from Defendant in the form of HALF (1/2) of Defendant's buried items found on Defendant's property, including but not limited to balls, collars, dead animals and additional squeaky toys, in addition to TWO (2) new calf bones not measuring less than 6" in diameter and 14" in length.  Defendant is also required to pay Petitioner's filing fees for the Service, plus one belly rub.  This decision is final.

Signed and arbitrated,

               xXXXX   xXXX
             XXXXXXX XXXXXX
             "XXXXXX XXXXXX
              XXXXX  XXXXX xXx
         XXXx  XXXXX XX" XXXX
         XXXXx "XX"     XXXXXX
          XXXXX   xXx   XXXXX"
           """  xXXXXXx "XX"
       Ts97    XXXXXXXXXX
            xXXXXXXXXXXXXXx
            XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
             """"  """""""

Rubix
Top Dog/Goodest Boy
Good Boy, Inc.

Spaceman sighed as he carefully rolled up the paper and placed it back in the Daschund's mouth, recognizing the familiar paw print.  As he heard the roar of the jetliner's engine in the distance on the air strip, he lowered himself to Rubix as he extended his hand for a shake, getting an obligatory paw in return.

"What you're doing is Dog's God's work, here.  It seems like you were destined for newer things out west, my dear Rubix.  Remember to visit Philadelphia on the weekends though at a minimum though, yeah?  I don't need the Post Office getting complacent here."

Rubix thought back to the regular post offices in Philadelphia, they had continually been knocked over and stamps were raised to three whole cents per letter, The Pawprint postal was still offering letter service for a penny and a belly rub. Rubix understood his duties to Philadelphia but it would be no problem, Rubix liked the people of Philadelphia, he considered them all to be his humans. The realization slowly sat in that he was able to continue the good he had done but that he would be so far away from his family. 

While Spaceman was still on his level he threw his paws on his shoulders and nuzzled his head on his shoulder. He was given an amazing opportunity and his life would be completely different. He would miss his spot by the fireplace at The Pharmacy, but he would make a new spot, a better spot and he'd show it to Spaceman! Spaceman would always be his human. He hopped off his shoulders and gave a commanding bark to the animals, they simultaneously sat. He stuck his nose in Spaceman's coat pocket and pulled out his old leash. He dropped it on the ground and proudly lifted his head. Spaceman chuckled and placed the leash on his collar like old times. The two headed towards the roar of the jetliner each of them enjoying a small walk to reminisce before Spaceman's plane left.