Softly guitar music filled the room from the speaker of a tiny radio, quit enough the words couldn't quite be made out.  Bella carried the cocoa over to the couch and put it down onto the coffee table. 

With a bright smile and greedy chubby hands, the little girl who was her companion snatched it up and put it to her lips.  A brown mustache left behind was quickly wiped up with the sleeve of her shirt. 

"Did you write to Santa last night?" Aurora asked.

Bella sat down beside Rory and gave the girl a sad smile.  When Rory had been a baby she used to brush her fingers across the spider-web whisps of hair that she had to help comfort her when she was cross... and with each passing day, week, month and year the girl's hair grew until it was long and thick.  Bella silently counted the seconds it took to get from the girl's scalp to its ends and realized, bitterly, that in a blink of her eyes the years had gone by.  Her baby wasn't a baby anymore. 

Maybe it was her who wasn't ready to let go.  Maybe Rory was miles ahead of where she put the girl in her mind.  Bella knew that this was her last and only chance to savor the joys of motherhood.  And like the miserly Scrooge clinging to coins rather than using them for joy, she clung to the moments of Rory's life obsessed with the length of time they could be her own, rather than what she'd do with that time.

"That's... what I need to talk to you about."

Rory turned to face her fully and smiled.  

For Bella, the hardest words she'd ever spoken up until this point were the ones that told Gavin she'd let William kiss her - so many years ago that it felt like that had happened to another person now.  She could remember thinking, back then, that the look Gavin had in his eyes was the worst thing she'd ever seen in all of her life. 

That moment had been more heart-breaking or painful than any before it ... and strangely, that it now seemed so thin and pale compared to what she felt now.  The dread of hurting this girl she loved so much, the bone-deep fear of her reaction to a lie told to her by one of two people she trusted so completely, was overwhelming.  For a moment she considered not telling her, leaving the girl to learn some other way and moving heaven and hell to ensure the little girl one more year of childish bliss, but knowing how much worse that would make things later... well, she couldn't.

Bella handed over her notepad to Rory.

"Op...oper..."  Rory tried to sound out the first word.

"Operation,"  Bella said.

"Operation Santa Claus!"  Rory cheered the words and bounced nearly spilling her mug of hot chocolate.

Bella nodded.  "This is a plan that I want your help with... we're going to speak with Aunt Tara and Uncle William and all the other businessmen we know here in South Philly and get them to join us in the project, but this will make sure that no child in our neighborhood goes without warm clothes and food on Christmas morning and even a toy or two."

Rory was a quick girl but after the talk the night before she tilted her head to the side as she tried to puzzle out what was unsaid by her mother.  "So they'll have our gifts ... and Santa's?"

Bella wet her lips.  "Santa was a real person, Sweetie.  He was a good man who lived a very long time ago and ..."

Bella watched the horror of realization slowly melt over Rory's face.

"... the spirit of his generosity, well, it reminds people to put aside their selfish ways, all their doubts, anger, and pain - and treat each other better than they do most every other day of the year."

"There is no Santa Claus?"  Rory asked through tears.

Bella swallowed the lump in her throat which had returned from the night before.  She touched the place above Rory's heart.  "You must not say such things."  She eeked out. 

"Santa lives in our hearts and through the good deeds that we do.  He's like the flag of our country or the cross; to some folks, it might be nothing but bits of colored cloth or a shape with no meaning but to those who believe in what they stand for they are symbols - reminders of what we must always strive to be in this world."

Rory sobbed.

Bella pulled her close.  "Please don't cry."  She pleaded. 

"You... you lied to me."  Aurora said into the fabric of Bella's blouse.

Bella winced, the words felt like a slap, and tears welled in her eyes and then with all the strength she had in her she took Rory's shoulders in her hand and pulled her back to look in the little girl's eyes.  "I didn't lie to you, Aurora.  Santa is real.  He lived.  He was a man who is as real as your birth parents and while it's sad we don't have those people here with us now; we live to honor the good they stood for and strive to be the sort of people they want us to be because we love them and I tell by how hard you're crying that you love Santa.  Yes?"

Aurora nodded.

"Then choose to keep loving him.  What I said last night is true, as long as you choose to believe in him - and what he stood for - then I and your father will be right there with you."  She picked up the notepad from the place it had fallen on the floor.

"This plan, it's EXACTLY the sort of thing Santa would want us to do.  To help people less fortunate, to love our neighbors and make sure they have a very Merry Christmas, we'll... we'll be like Santa's Little Helpers!"

"But we won't be Santa."  Rory's chin fell to her chest. 

Bella shook her head, 'No.'

Rory drew a deep breath and exhaled it slowly, her eyes thoughtful and distant. 

"But once we start this plan, trust me, you're going to feel so happy!  When you see all those kids with food and good coats, and toys!"  Bella smiled and pet her daughter's hair again.  "You'll see why all of us grown-ups keep holding onto the symbol of Santa Claus... because bringing joy to others is a gift you give to yourself.  You're going to feel... so happy.  And, of course, you'll still get gifts on Christmas morning too.  They'll just be from your father and me instead of Santa."

A bit of dark hair fell across Rory's face, Bella pushed it behind her ear.  Neil walked into the room and Bella looked at the clock.  She sighed.  "It's time to get your bag for school."

Rory nodded and finished her hot chocolate and then stood up and began to get her things.  Then she came back to give her mother a hug and kiss goodbye saying, "Can I change what I want to get for Christmas?"

Bella smiled, hopeful that talk of gifts meant her daughter was accepting this new truth and maybe even going to embrace it.  "Of course, Sweetie.  What is it you want?"

Not meeting her mother's eyes she muttered, "A pocket knife."

Bella blinked, jarred by the change from baby dolls to pocket knives.  "Why on earth would you want one of those?"

"I just do."  She said sadly and reached out to take Neil's hand. 

"I love you."  She said softly to her little girl but got no reply back. 

So much like Gavin... silent as the grave when she's hurt.  Nothing but the facts.  Damn that man for making her so much like him.

Aurora began tugging Neil's hand to make him take her away but Bella's loyal bodyguard stood, waiting to see if Bella had more to say.  And she did, she had half a mind to make the girl stay home from school and keep talking until she won the child over... but that likely would have borne as much fruit as it ever did with Gavin.  With Gavin only time ever worked... and she wanted it so, she'd give it.  She nodded to Neil, giving her blessing for the child to leave.

She had expected the news that Santa wasn't real to herald a new era of her child's life, but never in her wildest dreams had she expected it to happen so abruptly!  As soon as the door closed Bella pulled her legs up to her chest and hugged them, burying her face from the world for a while and wondered if Marie would have screwed up half so much as she had in raising the little girl.

"You gonna eat that?"  John asked Aurora.  The little girl's lunch sat untouched and recess was nearly over.

Aurora, looking down at the floor - deep in thought, pushed it to John.  "You can have it." 

"Why are you sad?"  John asked as he took a big bite of her ham sandwich.  

"It's nothin."  Aurora mumbled.

"She's sad cause she's gonna have to swipe me a knife."  Gus interjected.  

"Go away, Gus."  Aurora weakly instructed, more out of habit than anything else.  She just didn't have the drive to take on her bully today.

"You figure out which one I'm gettin' yet?  My pa has one with a pearl handle.  Yours got one like that?  Cause I'd like one like that."

Maybe it was Rory's lack of aggression that caused it, or maybe he was feeling good having eaten a whole sandwich, but John stood up and got in Gus' face instead of his young plucky friend who normally did so,  "Santa will come through Gus and when he does, it's gonna be you who owes her!"  

"You're as much of a little baby as she is, Hobo John, sit back down."

And then John did the thing that everyone on the playground knew you shouldn't do to Gus Brooks, Aurora winced the moment she heard the words knowing what was coming next, "Make me."  John snarled.

Gus knocked John down, stepping on his coat so that when John tried to stand it ripped loudly. 

Balling up his fist, John socked Gus in the chin and Gus gave twice what he got.  Again John was down on the ground, torn coat now red with blood from his nose.

Children began running over to the boys cheering, "FIGHT!  FIGHT!"

Gus laughed and the sound of it caused something in Rory to snap.

In later retellings of the tale, several children would claim they never saw Aurora move from her seat.  One moment she was sitting with her head down looking sad, lost in thoughts, and the next Gus was on the ground and she was sitting atop his barrel chest throwing her tiny fists against his fat face.

A teacher, who had been chatting with Aurora's bodyguards, had run over from her place at the door to the school & pulled a still swinging Rory off Gus.  Gus lay there wailing a moment, his eye swelling shut.  Meanwhile, Linval disappeared inside to make a phone call leaving Neil to watch from a distance.  The bodyguards had one job here on the school grounds and it did not involve interfering with normal daily school operations.  Unless Aurora was in real danger they were to stay at a distance and simply watch - nothing more.

"Get up Augustus."  The teacher instructed.  "You, too John.  To the principal's office with all of you.  STOP STRUGGLING!"  She screamed at Aurora who was STILL trying to get back to Gus.

Seated outside the Principal's office, the secretary watched the three children for any further infractions.  John sat between Gus and Aurora but this did not stop them from whispering taunts to one another.

"Your Pa ain't gonna save you from the paddle this time, Byrne."

"Leave her alone."  John said to Gus.  "We're gonna get it too thanks to you."

"Just be glad I don't have her Daddy's knife yet, Hobo John.  I might have done more than knock you to the ground."

Aurora leaned around John and hissed, "The only way I'm giving you one of my Dad's knives is in the ribs, Gus Brooks!"

"We made a deal!" Gus said a little too loudly.

"SHHHH!"  The secretary scolded.  "No talking.  You are all in enough trouble already."

"I'm getting that knife!"  Gus whispered.

Aurora didn't answer.  Was it a lie if she didn't hold up her end of the bargain to that creep?

The door to the office opened.  

"Augustus."  The Prinicpal said in an annoyed, but unsurprised tone.  He held open the door allowing the boy to enter.

The last time Aurora punched Gus she was spared the paddle because of her parent's 'generous donations' to the school.  After all, a girl from such a home as her parents' home 'clearly just made a mistake.'  But it was made clear to Rory that mercy would not be given twice.  If she was going to be a playground brawler, she'd find out why boys like Gus often came back from the principal's office looking like they'd been crying a while.  

"How's your nose?"  Aurora asked John.

"Better than my coat."  He said softly.  "My ma is going to have my hide."

She sighed.  "We'll get you a new coat soon."  

"I know.  Santa."  John said sadly.  It was his body language as much as his tone that gave away his doubt.

Aurora looked at John and she could see it as plain as day.  "You don't think that Santa will bring you a coat?"

John didn't reply. 

From inside the office, Aurora could hear Gus crying out as the paddle came down on his bottom three separate times.  She tried to ignore the noise and instead focused on John's deception.

"You don't believe in him, do you?"  Aurora said a little hurt and a little surprised.  "But why... why didn't you tell me?"

John smiled, "Because... it made you happy."

"That's stupid.  It was a lie."  Aurora insisted.

John shrugged.  "It's more wrong to steal."

"I wasn't going to steal the knife, I asked my mom for one..."

The door came open and Gus left, walking a bit funny, looking to neither John nor Aurora.

The Principal appeared in the doorway, "John."  He retreated into the room.  

John paused next to Aurora, "I'm not talkin' bout the knife."

Aurora's brow furrowed.  "Then what ... ?"

"I'm waiting, John."  The Principal called out and John walked away not explaining himself.

Aurora sat alone in the office and listened as John got one swat across his bottom and, strangely, didn't cry out.  She wondered if she would get one or three.  She did quite a number on Gus' eye and this was her second time-fighting.  But she hadn't been swatted last time so maybe only one?

The door came open and John came out.  He might not have screamed in pain but he had tears in his eyes.

"Aurora."  The Principal said and held open the door.

Aurora stood up and entered the darkened office, her eyes were instantly drawn to the paddle on his desk that had been used on the boys.  It looked massive.  She couldn't begin to imagine how much it would hurt.

"I'm quite disappointed in you, Miss Byrne."  The Principal said walking around his desk.  "If I had my way in this matter you'd be getting three firms swats before heading back to class."

Aurora's eyes went wide, she was getting out of this!?!

"But, your father's wishes were quite clear on the matter."  He reached for the phone.  "And so,"

"You're calling my dad?"  She said with a touch of worry.

"You're going to sit here in this office until he arrives and he'll decide what's best to do with you."  The principal is quiet a moment before saying, "Is this Ms. Tara Byrne?  Hello, this is Gerald Norton, the principal at your niece's school.  Her father left instructions that I should contact you if there was any trouble here at the school?  Oh?  I see.  I wasn't aware ..."  He paused.  "I see.  Thank you.  Goodbye."

He hung up the phone.

"Your father is on his way already.  Apparently, the men who watch over you got ahold of him just after the fight.  So... we'll wait here until he arrives."

Gavin had been pacing. He was pacing more and more, lately. When the phone rang, he was thankful for the distraction- even when he heard what it was about. He shrugged on his jacket and walked downstairs. Kassandra was ready, and she drove him over to the school. They chatted briefly, but Gavin's mind was occupied, and he was soon 'resting his eyes' in the backseat. Kassandra knew better than to assume that he was sleeping. The rest of the ride passed by quietly, and a few minutes later Gavin was striding in the school, buckling his suit jacket as he went. Not that he minded the principal seeing his shoulder holster, but habits were habits.

He walked into the office and sat down with his poker face on... but he couldn't help but wink at Aurora when the principals back was turned.

"So. What's going on here?"

Aurora kept her hands folded in her lap.  It wasn't that she was trying to hide the abrasions on her knuckles, she knew her father spotted them the minute he walked in and Linval most likely told him on the phone she'd been in another scrap with Gus, but looking at her hands meant she didn't have to try to hide her amusement if he ...

Her dad winked at her.

Aurora tried her hardest not to react.  She even bit her tongue to stop the smirk that almost always followed her father's playful expressions and winks that he would sometimes come at the worst moments - like when mom was going on and on about something and wouldn't let it go.  The only thing mom hated MORE than having to lecture to her about something, was her giggling during it.  Thusly, she'd gotten good at hiding her amusement at her father's antics.

"Mr. Byrne."  The Principal's tone was friendly but held an edge that reminded Aurora he hadn't forgotten why her father was called in here.  "I'm sorry we're meeting under these circumstances.  I would have called your wife again, but I'm afraid mother's just don't see these things in quite the same way as fathers do."

He looked at Aurora.  She lowered her head again, careful not to see the man's face for fear she might laugh at how wrong this guy was about who her dad was and their relationship.  If he thought that Gavin was the stricter parent in the household he really had no idea how things worked in the Byrne family.  Oh, her father had rules... but they were about serious things.  It was her mom who got hung up on the smaller things in life... not dad.  And it would only be worse for Mr. Norton if he insulted her mother while trying to make Gavin go hard on his daughter.

"After speaking briefly with the teacher who witnessed the altercation and the two other children involved, it seems that Aurora inserted herself in a brawl between two boys on in the schoolyard today." 

He sighed. 

"This is the second time your daughter has been involved in fights here at our school and we have very strict rules regarding violence against our students, which I know is a reason why you felt your child would be safe here in our care.  However, Aurora's actions have caused one boy's eye to swell shut and he's going home early today as a result."

Aurora couldn't help but scowl slightly.

"I suspect his father will be in to speak with me later.  He's something of a strict disciplinarian and will want to know all the finer details of the conflict.  Once he hears them I know his son can expect further discipline for his actions at home.  As for your daughter, I waited to question her until you were present."

Gavin nodded as if to invite him to do his job.

Mr. Norton looked to Aurora and his tone changed to something more authoritarian, "Well, young lady, what happened?"

Aurora sat silent for a moment, eventually crossing her arms in front of herself.  She didn't look up at the man, instead, she stared at the floor in front of her.  Her chestnut eyes could have bore holes into the floorboards before she finally decided upon saying, "I made a mistake."

Norton smiled ever so slightly.  "And that was?"

"I didn't square up my shoulders right."  She muttered, sounding more annoyed than apologetic as the principal expected.

"What?"  He narrowed his eyes.  

"If I'd squared my shoulders,"  She said looking up at the Principal, "I would have busted his fat nose like I was trying to do."

Gavin's face was expressionless, but still listening attentively.

"You might need to back up a bit first. What'd he do to deserve it?"

Norton clearly bit his tongue as Gavin stepped in.  Aurora knew better than to sass her father and so she answered simply, "He knocked John down to the ground and stepped on his coat so when he stood up, John ripped his coat.  It was the only one he has and it's already in a really bad way.  We all know he doesn't have a winter coat and the only reason Gus did it was because he's a hateful son of a bitch."  She snarled.

"Miss Byrne!"  Norton snapped.

"Well, he is and you wanted to know!"  She sniffed.  "He's a bad person and it's a good person's job to stop bad people from hurting other good people and John is just about the nicest person in the whole world!"

It was true.  She knew it was.  But John lied.  John didn't even feel bad about lying.  How could both be true?

Aurora fell silent.  

"John," Mr. Norton looked to Gavin, "He's one of our scholarship students.  He's very bright but his family has fallen on very hard times, as so many have these days.  John has never been in trouble before he started up a friendship with Aurora... I fear she's become something a poor influence on him."

"No."  Aurora threw back.  "I just don't let everyone be mean to him and I taught him how to make a fist the right way, that's all.  He's still a good person, he's just not going to be Gus' punching bag anymore.  If Gus wants to hurt John he's going to have to go through me first."

"Miss Byrne, if you'd simply let us know there is an issue we'd be more than happy to handle it but as of yet no one has witnessed Mr. Brooks doing anything wrong and you haven't brought a single incident to our attention despite what we agreed upon when we met with your mother."

Aurora muttered something under her breath.

Mr. Norton sighed.  "You see, this is what we've been dealing with a lot lately.  Aurora is a talented young lady, but her verbal outbursts with staff and frequent fights with Mr. Brooks continue to be an ongoing issue and I'm hoping, Mr. Byrne, that you will succeed in ending this problem where your wife and I have failed thus far?"

"Thank you, Principal Norton. I'll handle things from here. Aurora, wait for me in the car."

As his daughter stalked out, Gavin stood and shook the hand of Mr. Norton. Taking his leave, he headed toward the car. Kassandra was waiting for him, but Gavin waved her off.

"Just me and the runt today. Go get a drink with Linval and Neil; celebrate whatever Greek holiday it is. Invent one. Whatever."

Gavin slid into the drivers seat and Aurora climbed up into the passenger seat, clicking her seatbelt in despite it being nearly too big for her. Gavin pulled out slowly, watching the road for a while before he spoke.

"I'm very proud of you. You should know that. Standing up for the little guy? That's a lot of what your mother and I do in our work. The government thinks it can roll over everyone just because they've got money and power and soldiers. Sometimes, someone needs to stand up for the regular people. The little guy."

He paused.

"The only issue is that now you've got to deal with Norton. Anyone can stand up and punch a bully in the face, but you can only do that for so many times before it comes back to bite you. The trick is to get the job done without getting caught. Look at your Aunt Tara? She's never even gotten a parking ticket. Sometimes there's no choice but to act... almost everyone gets busted sometimes. But there's got to be a way to handle Gus without causing a scene? Can you buy him off- put him to work for you? Threaten him with something? You know I never went to school, so you'll have to figure out the details yourself. But I'm pretty sure people are people. You find out what he wants and you give it to him- or you find out what he doesn't want and you tell him you'll make it happen if he doesn't play ball."

Gavin shrugged.

"Or you kick his ass so thoroughly that he never crosses you again. Hell, you might have done that today. You might find him a lot more sheepish next time you see him. But if he's the opposite? And he comes at you again? Put him down hard or you'll have to deal with him for the next ten years. Don't really hurt him. But enough to make an impression."

He drove quietly a little bit longer.

"But yea. Time to keep a lower profile. If you get a bad rep, teachers'll probably start blaming you for everything.... and if this is how long I'm talking to you, imagine the speeches you'll get from your mother if this keeps up."

"He wants a knife."  She said quietly.  "Truthfully... I owe him a knife."  

She sighed.

"I made a stupid bet and I lost.  I promised if I lost I'd give him a knife, but he's mean and if he has a knife, I don't know what he'll do with it.  What if he hurts John?  Or tries to hurt me?  I've never fought a bigger boy with a knife before."

"I bet him that I wasn't a stupid baby."  She choked out the words as she looked out the passenger window so that her father wouldn't see the tears he could hear in her voice.

She was quiet for a bit before admitting,  "If I'd won I would have got a quarter and that bully would have been workin' for me for the rest of the school year." 

For a moment she had a small smirk.  It had been a great plan.  Turning her bully into a bodyguard like Mr. Linval and Mr. Neil.  Aunt Tara would very much have approved, mama too!  But, regrettably, that wasn't going to happen now.

"I was so sure I'd win ... but I was wrong.  And, like it or not, I can't break my word; not even to a jerk like Gus." 

She cleared her throat. 

"So, um... I asked Mom for a pocket knife for Christmas instead of the baby that I showed Uncle Will in the window at Mr. Spencer's toy shop.  I figured I could just give Gus that knife to make things square with us." 

She scrubbed the back of her hand across her eyes.

"Do you think..."  She drew a breath looking back towards Gavin, her tiny face more composed. 

"Well, John said that tellin' someone something, can be like stealing?  Do you think that's true?  Cause I'm mad at him for not telling me about Santa before I went and made that stupid bet with Gus, but he said he couldn't tell me cause sometimes stealing is worse than lying and that don't make any sense to me."

She sighed.  

"I like John.  He's a good fella, but he lies... a lot.  Most of the time he lies about being happy when he ain't.  I know things ain't too good at home with his family.  I guess I understand that he's sad cause he don't have much and he don't like folks lookin' down on him or givin' him charity.  So I don't think too much about those sorta lies; but when Gus said Santa wouldn't bring John a coat, I just knew that had to be a lie cause Santa wouldn't let John be cold all winter."

She furrowed her brow.

"Or... I thought I knew.  The part that makes me mad is that John knew the whole time I was mouthin' off at Gus that I was wrong.  He knew there was no Santa and he didn't say nothin'.  He just let me make that bet knowing the whole time I couldn't win." 

She shook her head. 

"It don't make no sense to me why he'd spend all week yammering on and on about things we hoped Santa would bring us, what we'd play with first and stuff... if he knew Santa wasn't gonna bring anyone anything!  Why bother daydreaming about something if you know you can't never have it?  His family don't have no money to pretend about Santa with him like you and mom did with me.  He's gonna go to sleep on Christmas Eve and what's he got to wake up to in the morning?  No toys, no coat, no feast... just... nothing.  So why lie to me?" 

Her shoulders sank. 

"We musta sounded so stupid flappin' our jaws about all the toys at Mr. Spencer's shop that we liked, when everyone at school knows John isn't gettin' none of them.  And there I was, bettin' Gus Brooks that Santa was real and that him coming through for John and his family would prove it.  Now, when he doesn't, not only do I lose the bet to that creep and have to listen to him go on about it forever, but ..."

Emotion filled her tone again, "John and his brothers and sisters ain't gettin' nothin' cause there ain't no Santa."

She blinked back tears.

"I didn't want to be right just to shut Gus up and keep him from gettin' a knife, I wanted to be right because of all the other stuff.  I wanted John to have all the nice things we talked about, all the stuff that made him happy.  I wanted Santa to bring him the best Christmas anyone's ever had cause he's my friend."

Just before tears spilt out onto her cheeks, her face split into a bright smile, "He even stood up to Gus today!  He bloodied his nose when Gus wouldn't leave me be.  I mean... I know I shouldn't be happy he punched someone, but you should have seen him, Dad!  He's not a big guy like Uncle Will or Gus will be one day, but he's fast and I knew he could do it once I showed him how." 

For a moment all the seriousness of Santa, the lost bet, and worries of her friend going without seem forgotten as she asks, "Do you think maybe we can bring him with us to Purgatory sometime?"

"No, you're right that you can't break your word. And I'll give you a knife to give him. In fact, I think I want to hand deliver it to him personally."

He grew quiet, driving and listening to his daughter's thoughts. It was hard keeping up with her train of thought, but he did his best.

"I can understand why you're upset. You thought Santa was going to fix everything for your friend John. My mother thought the same thing, once, thinking that God would solve all her problems. Some people feel the same way about the government, thinking that some new program is going to fix things for them. But look... if John needs a new coat this winter, there's no magic guy with a beard in the sky who's going to fix that. There's only people."

He frowned.

"Some people like to live pretending that things just fix themselves... I'm guessing that's why John lied to you. He thought that you believed that, and he didn't want to be the one to tell you otherwise. He was standing up for you, even if you don't like how he did it. And I'm not sure about bringing friends to Purgatory... maybe when he gets a bit older. But if you're serious about wanting to help him and his brothers and sisters... well, do you think you'd know enough about what sort of gifts they'd want to pick out some good ones?"

Aurora considered her father's words, that John had been trying to stick up for her.  While that seemed like something John would do, it didn't feel right that John had just been pretending to be so excited.  No, she really and truly felt like he was every bit as delighted with the idea of Christmas as she was. 

She nodded to Gavin's question if she knew what they wanted. 

"I do."  She said quietly.  "And I know mom wants to give people stuff too ... but it's not the same.  Folks get free food every day at the soup kitchen, how is what she wants to do any different?  How is it really special?"

Aurora narrowed her eyes and she thought of something she hadn't thought about before, "Santa isn't about getting stuff.  He's more than presents."

She turned and looked to her Father, "I think he was about love. for everyone. That's why I feel so sad inside.  Mom saying there isn't Santa Claus is like saying there isn't real love for people we don't know - but I know that's not true.  I care about people.  But if I believe Gus, then no one else cares about anyone who isn't their own family.  And worse that means no one ever does for people who aren't their own."

She shook her head.  "That isn't true.  I just can't accept that.  You and mom help people all the time... Aunt Tara, Uncle William, and Grandpa Jack too.  You do dangerous stuff for people ... you must love people a whole lot cause I know you wouldn't do anything to leave me and mom if it wasn't important."

She smiled at Gavin with absolute pride and admiration that spoke mountains of how much she wanted to be just like him and then her smile faded.  She looked away as he realized that all of what she said was true, but Santa remained a fantasy.

"But it doesn't matter ... I mean, on Christmas morning it'll be nice if you and mom work out how to make sure John's family has food and he has a coat ... but Santa isn't coming and Gus will be right.  Worst of all is that he'll have another reason to laugh at John.  He'll just have another thing to say John got on account of charity instead of as gifts."

Her little shoulders sank again and she looked down.

"Why couldn't he be real?  Everything would have worked out ... if he'd just been real."

"If Santa's about love, then why should love from us regular people be worse? I'd argue that regular people helping each other is even more special. Think about it. If Santa was real, he'd give gifts to people- which would be nice... but what else is he supposed to do? He's Santa. He has to do it. But us? We don't have to do anything. So when we choose to go out of our way to help others, specially people who aren't in our family, I'd say it means more than a gift from Santa ever could. It's a different kind of magic. Like you said, we help people. I helped your mother with things before she was even family. I didn't have to help her at all and just walked away- but I didn't. And that made it special. I think sometimes love is agreeing to deal with each other's shit when you don't have to- but you choose to anyway. That maybe doesn't sound so good... but I think that's more appealing to people than they want to admit, when you strip away the bullshit."

Gavin paused. She was listening... she understood... but she was still sad. He rested a hand on her far shoulder, driving with the other.

"I'm not telling you to only believe in what you can hold in your hand. You can't hold love in your hand, or loyalty, or lots of other things... but even if it sucks now, I want you to know that if you have a problem... if you need something... well, there's no magical solution. Your mother and I are here to help you. Linval. Neil. Kassandra. Aunt Tara. Uncle Will. The rest of the gang. But most of all... yourself."

He frowned.

"If it makes you feel any better, I agree with you. I wish he was real too. I could have used him when I was a kid. But ignoring reality won't make things better... but I guess we don't have to make it clear where the stuff is coming from. Leave it up to mystery? Give John his gifts without saying where they're from so he doesn't feel embarassed, and then dump a ton of coal in front of Gus's house?" 

"Can we really do that?"  She giggled at the mention of leaving coal in front of Gus' house. 

This time the smile stayed.

"I think maybe you're right though.  It does mean more if we do it even though we don't have to.  I also like your idea of leaving the gifts for John so he doesn't know where they came from.  Maybe he can just be happy with his presents instead of feeling bad about them if he doesn't know where they came from!"

A bit of the gloom that hung about her seemed to be lifting.

"It's like you're Santa taking gifts and coal to children and I'm an elf cause I gotta pick out the stuff." 

And then her face absolutely lit up, brighter than any star atop a tree, and she bounced in her seat as she squealed more than spoke the words, "DOES THIS MEAN I GET TO WORK WITH YOU!?!"

If there had been a better Christmas present in all the world for Aurora than a chance to 'do a job' with her father, Gavin might have been hard-pressed to name it considering her enthusiasm in this moment.  "A secret project we get to do together?  Like the ones you and mom do all the time that I can't come on?  Oh please say yes!  We can get gifts to John, and Uncle Will and Aunt Tara, Mom, and Grandpa Jack... oh please daddy say we can do this together!  I'll be the best most sneakiest elf ever and ... oh we could not tell anyone it was us and make them all wonder where the presents came from!  Can you imagine the look on Aunt Tara's face when she wakes up and finds she has gifts from Santa!?!  And we could do it all together, just you and me, it'll be the best Christmas ever in the history of Christmas!" 

Gavin grinned.

"Yea. Let's do it."