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If I closed my eyes, would I see them again? Started by: Charlie__Pavanno on Dec 09, '18 12:19

Cemetery, Old City District, Philadelphia.


Charlie Pavanno stood watching the tomb of his former allies and friends, people he had worked with and had been granted a spot in the place where only honored members were allowed to rest in their final moments. It was well surprising, his former allies, they had betrayed him for the sake of business and yet, he bore them no ill will, he knew what loyalty and money could do in this business, it was something of a weigh-in the right favor. 

"Hm, this is where you rest, plenty of you rest here, while I, the youngest of all of us have survived. What did I do? Did I roll the dice correctly in certain situations? Was I just a lucky bastard? Did Lady Fortuna shine down on me? Perhaps she did, perhaps she saw me as her Champion. Only I have to witness your deaths, where I succeeded, you all lost. Perhaps that is just the price that comes with the life, perhaps I should have seen it coming."

He sighed, watching the tomb still, his hair waving in the wind, but he did not care for the mess that it would no doubt be. He no longer cared that he was being seen as a Boss because he had to watch many people that he worked with, die. So many of them, young and ready to become better than their ancestors, others, well they were ready to wipe off the blood that some of their ancestors may have caused. This life, it would take and take, it was only now that he noticed. It would sap away at him until nothing remained but the cold shell of a man that he did not want to become.

"So many of you, so many of you died. So many of you I worked with and would have loved to work with now, some of you were truly great people that made this life, our life, one worth living. Maybe I should have died that moment in Detroit, maybe I should have died in Chicago. Perhaps I should have gone on that walk into the sunset that my predecessors went on."

He breathed out through his nose, watching the tomb still, wanting to close his eyes and imagine them there. All the people that had died in the past couple of months, so much blood, so much mourning, so many tears, and many goodbyes. With many recovering and cities on the rise, Charlie had to wonder, what was next in this Life? What was to happen with the future? 

He looked off into the distance, noticing the sun rising oddly enough, almost like it was calling out to him, but he knew better than to listen to that voice inside his head, the voice that was but a child in this matter of things. He balled up his hand into a fist, his nails digging into his palm before he relaxed and a thin smile twitched at his lips as he continued looking off into the distance.

"I guess, I guess we will see."

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TwoB was used to wander around to release any burdens or just to relax and breath the fresh air...
she always thought it gave her clarity of mind... she was wandering around thinking about the future... that when she saw the Cemetery and decided to go in and pay respect to the fallen ones... walking in there she instantly felt overwhelmed by sadness... by every memory she had...

She took a look at the calm sky then took a breath and sighed sharply... she felt calmer... felt more like herself again...
TwoB took a look around after she paid respect and before leaving the Cemetery... that when she noticed Charlie standing not too far from her in front of a tomb then wondered if he noticed her before making her way towards him...

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Hearing footsteps as he continued to gaze at the tomb ahead of him, he turned his head, finding himself looking at his former partner in crime. One of the few people that he found to be fun and exciting in this life, tilting his head, arching his eyebrow curiously. He smiled sadly, before walking towards with slow steps. He kept his hands by his side, knowing that right now, she was like him, remembering all that they had lost during this time, it was truly a place to come and be peaceful. 

"TwoB, I could ask what you are doing here, yet I know that you had lost people as well in the last couple of months."

He sighed, turning his head to look at the graves and tombs, knowing that they are filled with men and women of honor. People who died for this business and truly bled for it, something that Charlie understood and would gladly do so, knowing that his reputation would make sure that he was known in some circles. He knew that was lost and turned back to face TwoB

"It's sad, huh? All these people, well they fought, they bled, and they lost. It seems that is the way of our life."

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Looking at Charlie walking towards her she noticed the sad look on his face... which on top of all what was happening made it worse...
she was used to it... yet it saddened her even more seeing that look on him considering he was someone she really cared about...
for a moment the sorrow made it hard for her to breath... she inhaled deeply then exhaled trying to calm herself once again...

"Yes, I believe you had lost people too ,It has been a couple of hard months..."
she said grinding on her teeth in anger as she looked at him while remembering it all...

Staring at the tombs of the fallen she kept her anger in check... looking at the tombs all she could see was their life being taken away...
their hopes crushed and their dreams disappearing... she had her way for dealing with that... her way of honoring them... 
hearing the voice of Charlie she turned her head towards him...

"It is sad... they fought, they bled and I think it is the way of life in general not just ours... as for if they lost or not I believe it is up to us..."
she said to Charlie smiling innocently with her eyes full of sorrow yet they had a glimpse of hope shining in them...

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"Huh, I lost many people, people that were dear to me and yet I here I stand. Surviving in their name, hoping to do right by them, it's something of an honor really, becoming this? Well, it was never the plan, yet here I stand."

He repeated himself before, looking at TwoB with the sad smile still in place, knowing that she had also lost people in the last two wars that had consumed many of the powerful famillies in this life, it was nothing if not shocking. He was surprised to see so many empires fall and yet, so many rose in the place of their predecessor's. It was a way of introducing new people to new positions and they became better for it, people grew with the times, as he did so now. 

He stared at the tombs, before turning his body fully around to admire them oddly, all the names of these people, well they were legendary in some fashion for building up the former era. It was these people that had a hand in forming a wonderful time for people that were new to these shores; he walked forward, looking at the tomb with a small smile. 

"We could have done something you know? We could have fought beside them or protected them better. Their losses, well it is up to us, in some form. We could make sure that their legacies live on in another way, don't you think so?"

He asked in a soft whisper, not even paying attention to his words, but simply just stating them as if they were the first thing on his mind. In some way, they were.

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For a brief moment she felt a breath of cold air as she looked at the headstones surrounded by a thin layer of grass and a couple of old trees...
"It might be painful... but that one of the reasons that it's honorable and the right things to do... and it's something to be proud of..."
she always thought that only by fighting through can things really get better...

In her mind she knew that aiming for the future and looking for good things in the world was the way... that what gave her hope...
she sometimes saw the world as a dark place but she knew it's up to her to see the light... and if there was none then she was deterimted to make her own light... standing in the middle of the Cemetery and hearing Charlie asking she sighed playfully...

"Charlie... what I think is that we can honor our loved ones by remembering them... and for me their legacy lies within... I always make sure that their hopes and dreams live on... that their families are taken care of... most of them had a dream of having a good life with their families and taking care of their kids and wives to make sure they would have a good life and a future...  I can help with that... and it's a way of honoring them... that why I said it's up to us... life can be hard but we can make it better... and we got this!"
she replied to Charlie smiling innocently once again and hoping for him to see the light in the world...

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"Something to be proud of? Surviving where others die? That is something to be proud of? Heh, I don't think so. I think I should grace the graves of these people. So many dead and yet, so many are alive, perhaps that is what we should proud of. The new generation..."

He stated softly, his eyes holding sincerity as he continued to gaze down at the graves with nothing but admiration and some awe. He crouched down, allowing his hands to graze the grass. He chuckled softly before he rolled his head back, looking up at the skies with a sad smirk, not one of genuine kindness or happiness, but just sad. 

He could do naught but listen as TwoB continued, wanting him to see the bright side of surviving. Was there ever a bright side? Perhaps not, he listened and heard TwoB speak of legacies. He looked to her with his eyes glistening, wondering if she even felt at all, if she knew what death did to them, perhaps not. She always seemed different to others, he let out a humorless chuckle, finding nothing else appropriate at the time. 

"You see, I don't think I can do that, their famillies looked to us, they looked at us like protectors. We were the police to them, we were the ones they went to solve problems. Only now? Their fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers, aunts, and uncles. They all died, we weren't there to protect them then."

He laughed bitterly, before turning away from TwoB. She seemed to always want to see the good in this business and yet, was there anything good at all about dying? Was there any good for dying honorably or dirty? Either way, you are dead and nothing stops that.

"Life is hard TwoB, but can we really be better? Perhaps we can do that, perhaps we can make sure that their famillies are provided for. Who knows?"

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TwoB knew loss her entire life... very early on from her traumatizing childhood... then with everything else stacking up on her shoulders...
it changed her core... and made her see the world in a different way... 


"You can say that there are two types of survivors... the first are the ones who does nothing... and the second are the ones that tries to honor their lost loved ones... that thing you should be proud of is that you are from that second type... looking to honor them and trying your best"
she replied to Charlie with her teary wide eyes from remembering a memory of the man whom she considered her father...

she turned her head and looked at the slowly rising sun... then looked towards charlie again... 

"Someone who I valued dearly once told me that things will can turn out badly... sooner or later... but when that happens... don't let it win... 
and also told me to stay true to myself and to do what's right, So yes life is hard it's sad... and painful... but we can fix it... we can at least try"
she said as looked at everything around her before looking back at Charlie and letting out a sigh...

"I see your determination... so that why I know you can stay true to yourself and do what you believe is the right thing to do...
no matter how hard life is... it won't affect us... be painful yes... but it won't be able to completely break us... because we have a strong will...
that why I know you can do it... making sure that their families are provided for... honoring them and more... it can be...and it will be better..."
she replied to Charlie smiling softly and childishly... yet with the fire of determination burning in her eyes...

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"Huh, you're right. There two types and I find myself to be in the middle, maybe, should I be here? Did I do something? I had to have done something to survive this long. Am I just lucky TwoB? Did Lady Fortuna see me as here divine Champion?"

He asked with a soft whisper, continuing to gaze at the ground with a mask of innocence that was shattering with each word that he spoke, almost like his words were the pickaxe and his face, the ore. He could not help but chuckle once more, only this time, it was filled with genuine humor instead of the bitter tone that he had before, the reason? Only he knew. 

"Yes, I know, we all valued someone at some point TwoB. I valued my predecessors and yet, they do not lay here like many others of honor. They got out, they left the life to pursue what they had and I hear they are quite happy. They are perhaps one of the lucky ones, they got out and won. They live and thrive, in Sicily, with their son."

He smiled, thinking of them like this was perhaps one of the few times that he could do this, allowing his true self to appear in front of TwoB, well it was surprising. Only he knew that he trusted her, something that not many people earned with ease. 

"Perhaps we can fix it, we can see, eh? Perhaps we just need some good in our lives to even out the darkness that we all hold; we protect ourselves with goodness, yet, we attack with darkness. It's an odd effect, but one that has worked in the past."

He smiled hearing her final words resonate with him like a bell that rung once in his head and echoed throughout; he stood up, walking towards her and stood in front of her for a while before speaking in a humorous tone, while it came out in a soft whisper. 

"Perhaps Vegas did not take all of your precious knowledge now, did it?"

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TwoB felt the breeze coming at her with it's coldness alerting her to the sound of it as it sang quietly through the trees...
making her feel the calmness and peacefulness of it all... she raised her hands putting them against her cheeks as she slightly pushed them feeling the coldness of them on her face... which she liked and often did it believing it made her feel more focused...


"Maybe you're blessed or maybe it's something you did... if it's something you did then keep doing it... if it's luck then nothing wrong with it...
in both cases it's okay... but to be honest I bet it's much better to blessed by Lady Fortuna herself!... it's always fun to be Lucky!..."
she let out a small giggle before continuing...
"That good... Sicily ? I hear nice things about it... and no matter what their decision is or what it is... as long as they are happy then it's great..."

Looking at him and hearing him talk... it was something the she related with... in her eyes the world was filled with darkness... she saw that
darkness corrupt and destroy a lot of things... that darkness destroyed her dreams very early on... yet that darkness was valued by her...
after years of pain and suffering... she realized that the darkness that filled her was making her better... it was her tool... and no longer controlling her... once she had control over her darkness she knew it was making her shine... now what was protecting the light in her was her darkness... and with that... the light that was hidden... that she wasn't capable of seeing... were able to appear clearly and shine...


"It's indeed an odd effect... but I think it makes sense... it's about the balance... too much darkness would consume someone... and too much
goodness would make them destroy themselves with their own hands..."
she said as she looked at Charlie admiring how he changed from the last time they met and noticing as he walked towards her...
"My precious knowledge?!... oh thank you that very nice of you... I like all of this... you seem brighter which is nice!"
she replied chuckling and smiling playfully as her eyes got wider... enjoying the moment as she heard the sound of the leaves susurrate...

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"I seem brighter? You make it seem as if I have been in the darkness all this time, that hurts TwoB...really!"

He grins cheekily, teasing her. He walks down the pathway, not too far away from where she cannot hear him, his eyes gazed on the tombs in front of him. Knowing that he was becoming one with their deaths and not focusing too much on them, because if he did, then no business would be getting done. He needed to get past these, otherwise, he would still be that kid that he promised he would never be. He had to be better than he was, or he was nothing more than a useless piece of shit.

He turned his head, staring at his best friend with his grin still in place. His eyes held some care, but it went away as quick as it came. He looked down, remembering the way he was because he had gotten locked up, all the anger and jealousy that he felt, it went to the person that least deserved it and knew that it was not the best thing to do in this situation. Charlie knew that he needed to get over that, or he was nothing more than a man who lived in the past.

"So, I've changed? Besides the new position and weight that comes with it, I've changed?"

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