Welcome to the pilot episode of Red Shoe Diaries - Coffee Shop Confessions, my name is Richard and I will be your host for tonight. There is a lot of debate on what goes on in these private conversation which are held in the coffee shops. Here at R.S.D we have developed a bug in which records every hot, steamy, violent, and crazy conversations that go on in the secret rooms of coffee shops. Have a confessional you may want aired on the show? Send them to myself and if funny enough it can be added to next weeks episodes.

Music begins to play

So enough of he common jibber jabber, lets get this show on the road. Everything you are about to hear is real, and accurate! I promise!

This first conversation was recorded on the evening of November 2, at 1430 hrs between the beautiful Alabama and New York top dawg TheDean.

Alabama: Hey there big boy, how have you been?

TheDean: Been wonderful thank you. Missed talking to you. Do you think Stubbing still buys the story?

Alabama: Sweetness, there is nothing you have to worry about. As long as you keep paying me for the amazing sex, then he will still believe I'm a call girl.

TheDean: That's fine, I just don't want him to find out. I haven't been able to walk straight for days.

Alabama: Trust me honey that remains between us. No one shall no, especially Stubbing.

TheDean: Alright I just worry is all. By the way, did you really have to use that on my....

End Of Recording




"Alright well, I would generally have something to respond with, but really?"


This second conversation was recorded on the afternoon of November 2, at 1230 hrs between BananaBender and cola_man

cola_man: Can you do to me what you just did with that Banana?

End of recording

"Very interesting."


This third conversation was recorded on the evening of November 6, at 1840 hrs between Junk_In_the_trunk, Alabama, and The911guy

Francie: You like it when I touch your Junk like that?

The911guy: Oh hell yeah. Do you like it when I touch Junk like that?

Francie: No actually I was going to ask you to stop. Rather disturbing

Junk: Selfish bitch get's all the fun.

End of recording




"Normally I would take Francie's side on situations, but that's just cruel."



This fourth conversation was recorded on the evening of October 27, at 1920 hrs between -Premeir and Killer_Jane

Killer_Jane: I've seen bigger

End of recording



"Oh my, ok on to the next recording."



The fifth and final conversation of the evening was recorded on the morning of October 20, at 0900 hrs between MrBlonde, Illfated, EmmaVizzini, and NikkiBlueEyes

NikkiBlueEyes: Well that just makes me sick

Illfated: haha why is that?

EmmaVizzini: Maybe because it doesn't go there?

Illfated: Says who?

NikkiBlueEyes: Says us women

MrBlonde: I don't think they are very fond of your display man.

EmmaVizzini: Absolutely not!

Illfated: And why is that?

EmmaVizzini: Because anyone can stand naked on a chair while smoking a joint? Nothing very impressive there.

Illfated: Yeah but did they show if they had the ability to place one foot behind their head while balancing on there other! Here watch.

NikkiBlueEyes: No please don't we believe you!

MrBlond: This kinda reminds me my sisters wedding night

End of recording


"So there you have it ladies and gentlemen. I hope you all enjoyed the first airing of the Red Shoe Diaries, now what I want from our listeners is this. I want you to select a conversation you felt was the best and put up your vote publicly here. The individuals involved in the conversation that wins will each receive $50,000."


"So if you want to see your favorite conversation win make sure to vote!"


"Until next time, this is Richard saying, "If Dick isn't involved, it just ain't the same."

Please keep in mind, this is strictly for entertainment. This is not taking cheap shots at anyone, all names used in the conversations were used at random. Lack of sense of humor is not my issue

Damnit TheDean, how many times have I said to use a secure phone line!!

Oh.. and I am a Call Girl.

<em> Smiles to the Captain hoping he believes the cover story </em>

I have to say that my favourite conversation by a clear mile would have to be the one recorded on Thursday October 27, at 1920 hours between -Premeir and Killer_Jane.

My reason being that this conversation was so deep and meaningful that it brought so much of an impact and so much raw emotion. It kind of reminded me of how I feel when I walk into the coffee shops. I always find myself having a good old stare down at the bottom half of my body and having a real think about how I ended up with such weak family genes.

I vote on the fourth Conversation, just incase I didn't make that clear enough.

Forever Humble,

Anthony Corelli brother of Tony

"Thank you Anthony. That was one of my personal favorites as well."

Smiles and leans toward Alabama and whispers

"Call me"

After resuming normal breathing from laughing so hard, Killer_Jane sticks her hand up out of the crowd.

I would also like to vote for my own convo.  The reason should be pretty clear, I want my hands on some of that money!

It also made me laugh until I cried, so that's another good reason.

Moydadir pauses, slicking his hand over his black-gray hair, then begins howling like a hyena in laughter, slamming his fist on the table a few times, making it shake, he takes off his glasses, cupping his other hand over his face, still chuckling, he wipes away a joyful tear before putting his glasses back on, "Ah, the banana bit, and 'I've seen bigger'. Classic..I just hope that my confession isn't in there.." Moydadir looks around, nervously.