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Luna Baloona sat at her desk wondering what else there could be to do?! It was getting late now.
All errands for the day completed. Time was at half past midnight. Only her wildest ideas came around this time. So.. It was no surprise that she decided to look through her mother's journal. For some reflection, perhaps? Luckily the movers had allowed Luna to pick up some stuff before they got rid of everything at the brothel headquarters. Cassandra's journal... Some of her clothes that could be passed down... Everything that was inside that damn safe... etc. Yeah. Big bucks, it was.
..
She never really had a good relationship with her mother. This was just the only thing that Luna could hold onto - as a memory of her. No sign of sadness plastered on her face, really. Her feelings about the whole situation were as blank as the pages inside this journal. Bummer. She would love to know the reasons for her mother's disappearance.
But although the journal was practically empty, there was indeed a written note tucked inside the cover.
It read:
6:00 AM
January 6, 1920.
***
To anyone who ends up reading this. Please - do not be quick to think pugnacious thoughts. I've insulted myself enough times now so that you don't have to do it. That's how I've ended up here. On the verge of retirement from being one of the leaders in this thing of ours.
We live and we learn, right?
We're humans. And we make mistakes. Some more terrible than others.
I approached Rubix with a business proposal after Cary Grant retired. Actually if you want to read exactly what I sent him word for word, the proposal letter is in the safe along with the other stuff. And Rubix, may he rest in peace, did give me the chance to lead a district. You can imagine how it is for someone who has never thought about being given such an amazing opportunity. Despite my excitement though, I didn't really have a choice but to take it. Grant retired. Being one his hands, I had to step up. Wanted to.
I could have just moved into another crew, right? Nope. That wasn't my thinking at all.
Can't reverse what happened, unfortunately.
Anyways - biggest mistake ever was allowing myself to take auth. It should've been a red flag when I went into this knowing that I'm an extremely impulsive person. Hence the amount of times I've retired. I've counted. Eight times in the past... ten months or so? Now if we're talking how many times I've jumped ship.. That's definitely more than eight.
And KNOWING that I have gone rogue before. Worst rogue attempt ever, too. Embarrassing. And I lost a lot of friendships because of that.
Also KNOWING that I'm an emotional wreck. I let my emotions run the game. The saying 'don't mix business with pleasure' has never been more true. I won't dabble into that right now. When something bad goes wrong, no matter how minor or bad the problem is, the first thing I will choose to do is run away from responsibilities and isolate myself from people. I am the complete opposite of a hard-headed person.
The reason that this letter is here is an apology for my idiotic behaviour. To Adonis, JackMezzo, Isabella, anyone else I angered or disappointed.. To all of Philadelphia while we're at it. To LuciousLyon. To Seattle. Last but definitely not the least, to Chicago. My SODOM family. I sincerely apologize. I simply do not have the mentality or experience to be a leader. I am not proud of anything I've achieved at all. But I hope.. No. Wrong word. I know my kin will learn from this.
To those who are in leadership and more importantly to those who are thinking about entering leadership - only do it if your whole heart is in it. Inspire others. Lead your members - and not the other way around. Again, I am deeply sorry to everyone. Not even expecting to be forgiven. I just owe an explanation.
Actions speak louder than words, right?
We'll see how my kin goes.
Luna slowly shut the book. A long silence before she reoriented herself in time and space again.
Her mother, simply put - was not fit to be in the life of crime. Luna was discouraged from it. Her family line was just a lost cause. Maybe she should just open a nice little library in Seattle. Or visit a park. Admire the warm nature and inhale the fresh air. That would be nice. She'd tell her boss, JohnMarston, all about the experience.
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