Gavin stirred in the bed as Bella came in, hours after she was due to be home. 

He sat up and smiled. 

"Hey..."

Bella smiled back. 

"How were they?"

"Chocolate pudding is harder to get out of ears than you'd think."  Gavin chuckled laying back down, propping himself up on his pillow.  "What about you?  How was your day?"

Bella paused her undressing to think about the girl Kenzi.  She thought about the story of the man trafficking women and drugs, Angelo.  She thought of Aurelio going to New York for his first hit all on her orders.  

Bella forced a smile. 

"The usual bullshit.  You know how it goes.  Fires to be fought.  Problems to be handled.  Mountains of paperwork."

Gavin yawned and nodded. 

Bella, naked, walked over and kissed his lips.  The Wolf smirked and tried to lure her into the bed, but she put a hand above his heart holding him at arm's length. 

"You should sleep.  You have an early morning."

Gavin sighed and tried to offer, "We can be quick..."

She yielded a moment and kissed him before saying, "I like it better when we take our time... besides, I need to shower and I swore to myself I'd write Tara before bed.  If I don't do it now I may not get a chance."

The graying wolf relented, letting her go and watching her walk away to the bathroom where she turned on the shower as hot as she could stand it and stood beneath the running water for a long while, not washing, but thinking. 

Perhaps she shouldn't have refused Gavin?  Maybe she would have felt better if she just pretended they weren't going through... whatever this was?  This change of their lives?  Not THEIR lives really... his.  Sure she'd slowed down but Gavin was as retired as Tara and the rift, no matter how much she ignored it and wished it wasn't real, was there like a wall between them.

Exiting the shower walked, still wet and naked back into their bedroom hoping to find Gavin awake, to take him up on his offer to try and push away some of this feeling of distance between them... but he was snoring.  Bella, quietly, put on her robe and went to her office. 

Seated at her desk, illuminated by a yellowed light bulb in her desk lamp, she pulled out some stationary and began to write.  Easily pouring her heart out to a woman she knew it was unlikely she'd ever see again.

Perhaps there would only ever be one letter... but who knew.  Perhaps she'd just keep writing for as long as her life stretched on, leaving not a journal behind as Santino had urged her to do for the kids, but instead a few notes remarking on recent events and reflecting upon an incredible life that she was truly blessed to have been able to live.

The pen flowed across the paper smoothly, the soft scratching sound of her words coming to life on the page made her smile as she imagined Tara finding these one day, perhaps accidentally, and reading them.  It was unlikely, but as she'd told Aurora and Gavin time and again, stories bring us comfort.  The fiction that Tara would ever return to these streets did that for her... and so, it's the story she clung to as much as she could.  To think otherwise, felt... well... unbearable.

Dearest Tara,

I hope this letter finds you well.  I can only imagine the adventures you must be having right now and find myself, at times, green with envy.  While I would not change my life with Gavin and the kids, I suppose there has always been a touch of wanderlust in me as well!  The freedom you've been able to embrace in your life, the ability to walk away and leave everything behind, is something I find myself sometimes wishing for.  As you well know, this thing of ours isn't always easy.  Some days are harder than others and now, with my best friend gone (you) I sometimes find that my hands feel too idle.  The streets seem too quiet and a large spark in my life has dimmed.

Gavin is doing well.  He spends his weeks with the kids and is gone every weekend to one poker tournament or another, his way of replacing some of the action he once used to see on a daily basis in his career.  I'm happy he has something that brings him so much joy but at times I find myself feeling disconnected from him.  I know he is here with me, and our marriage is as strong as ever, but sometimes I do find myself feeling like we're living in two separate worlds.  He in his world with the kids and poker... and me with the kids and the Family.  We're rarely in the same place at the same time or on the same page anymore.

We've always been open and honest with each other, but as he detaches more and more from 'The Life', I find myself smiling and nodding a lot more often.  Holding my tongue about my fears and worries ... being silent about what REALLY went on during my day for fear it might drag him back in. 

I love the father and man he's become as much as he does, but I miss my partner, The Wolf.  I miss how things used to be where occasionally we could just walk away from the mundane and run off on some adventure together.  Gavin and Bella against the world.  Since the birth of Will there is a lot less of this and a lot more of the very things I once ran from when running The Ivory Tower.

Aurora is growing too fast.  Since the return of Salvatore to our lives and her recent antics running off to Seattle to see him - well, I feel like the little girl I once knew is nearly gone.  She grows closer to and more like Gavin daily and I suppose that has caused me to cling all the tighter to little William.  I sometimes just sit and inhale the scent of him hoping I'll never forget him like this, but as he's now trying to pull himself to his feet and walk, I know it won't be long before he's running behind Aurora and your brother.  

It isn't all sadness though...  

Louis and I have grown closer.  He has leaned on me a bit to keep tabs on the district and I've expanded my network of eyes and ears, picking up some of the folks you noted I might grab onto.  Thank you for that, by the way, it's been incredibly helpful.  

The young pups continue to visit me at The South Philly Employment Agency.  Making sure they have work and keep busy brings me great joy and the better part of the cash you left me has gone to showing them my appreciation for their work in the streets.  You'd be so proud of what our people have done since you departed.  I tell them daily that the legacy of Jack lives on in each of them and it's true!  

I've become a den mother of sorts (not my word, thank Pavanno's brother Joey for deciding we're all wolves around here) and it's a role which I was perhaps born to.  I mean, let's face it, a few years ago I thought I would have no children of my own.  Then not only are we blessed with William Jackson, but now I mentor more young people than I ever did as a Don in Detroit.  And, best of all, they aren't just there for the cash.  These kids look up to me and I see them looking at me as I once looked at the greats like Spaceman, my Father, Marie... it's as if I blinked and suddenly I was the people I once respected and feared.

Our recent conflicts here in South Philly have centered on the return of the Tambini family, which I'm sure brings you no small amount of discomfort considering they were the family who killed Jack and burnt the Pier.  Well, we're preparing to move on them and I have no doubt of our impending success.  When that matter is concluded, I will send you a gift to let you know it is done.  Consider this vendetta my farewell gift to you, Godmother.  My sister.  

Life goes on here on these shores, but you're not forgotten.  Your presence is still felt by many of us daily and will be for some time to come.  Thank you for the gifts for the kids.  They & Gavin, next to me, probably miss you the most.  I hope that one day all you needed to do is done and you can come home to us.  For now, I'll simply write these letters from time to time and hope that one day they find their way into your hands and when you read them you can reflect upon our friendship fondly. 

Please know that no matter what I do, this place is a shadow of what it used to be without you.  I miss you every single day and pray sincerely that you're not mourning the loss of our stories together as much as I am.  May it be that your days are so busy, full of joy and life, that you scarcely have time to reflect upon our time together or miss it.  I only wish the greatest of happiness for you now and in the future in this and all the worlds you find yourself walking in.

Yours Sincerely,

-Bella