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| The (shotgun) wedding of the year | Started by: SunTzu on Jan 29, '08 18:59 |
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*’Preacher’ Tzu smiles as his colleague presses his knife in to Jethro’s, morning suit enclosed, ribs, then looks down the aisle,‘Here comes the Bride’ strikes up as Jordan, gun pressed in to the small of her back by another of ‘Preacher’ Tzu’s accomplices, but looking fabulous in her white dress and veil* *As his eyes wander across the small parish church he witness his crowd of handsomely reimbursed, sorry willing and happy family and friends gathered to witness the ‘joyous’ event* *Jordan is frog marched, *Delightfully walks in rhythm up to the altar as ‘Preacher’ Tzu reaches for his Bible* We are gathered together to witness the joining together in Holy Union of Jethro and Jordan, if anyone has any objections speak now or forever hold thy peace… |
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| I object to someone ordaining SunTzu as a 'Preacher' | |
| Reply by: Jian at Jan 29, '08 19:00 | |
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| RIP Jethro. | |
| Reply by: Nick_Toreno at Jan 29, '08 19:09 | |
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How quaint. Now the gods are marrying the ordinary folks in the community. Surely there's no favoritism being shown around this place. RIP world. |
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| Reply by: EffOff at Jan 29, '08 19:16 | |
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If you at all realised what was staring you blindly in the face EffOff, that this is a satirical and comic effort, perhaps you wouldn't make such a fool out of yourself. Now Eff Off, you're ruining the day for the (not so) happy couple! |
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| Reply by: Nick_Toreno at Jan 29, '08 19:18 | |
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Salvatore laughs at all the flippant comments before making his own comment on the "affair", for want of a better word. I take it the goddesses wouldn't have you Jethro? Or perhaps Ganelon, the greatest Assistant God of them all, took them from you and starved you of heterosexual activity. Of course, if I were you, I'd take that excuse over the whole "You're just too damned ugly" reason. |
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| Reply by: SalvatoreMarino at Jan 29, '08 19:20 | |
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*smiles at Jian* Ah you're just jealous that I have the honour of ordaining such a happy union. I worked hard to be ordained I'll have you know, the church of elvis does not go easy on you... *glares at effoff and orders his third compatriot to 'escort' him out of the church* The youth these days *sighs* And Nick, Jethro I will have you know is as excited as the rest of us about this wonderous union ;) |
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| Reply by: SunTzu at Jan 29, '08 19:23 | |
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"Effort" being the key word there Nick. These things crack me up everytime. Well known member A marrying well known member B. Throw in some old clique names and I swear, I'll die laughing. Yes, yes, I realize that'd put us both out of our miseries. |
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| Reply by: EffOff at Jan 29, '08 19:25 | |
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*cocks his Rubber chicken and caresses his gun* Anyone else want to delay this 'Union' *whispers to the nurse, It doesn't feel right* Bugger |
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| Reply by: Zebedee at Jan 29, '08 19:33 | |
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Let me explain this to you very slowly EffOff... this wedding points at the ground is a satirical response to another conversation on ooc avenue. points slowly at http://www.mafiareturns.com/comm/thread/12023 I hate to embarass you like this, I really do; but if you knew what was actually going on, you'd realise this is a marriage poking fun at the fact that Jethro and Jordan have never particularly gotten alone, but are willing to laugh it up a little rather then be complete arseholes about it. Ty. |
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| Reply by: Nick_Toreno at Jan 29, '08 19:33 | |
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| Oh wow. You're right. I'm totally laughing now...and I feel totally embarrassed. This is great stuff. Please proceed. I love this BBC type humor. It makes me....laugh. | |
| Reply by: EffOff at Jan 29, '08 19:38 | |
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No need to put a gun to my back. Jethro is the man of my dreams. Jordan smiled and winked at the tall and handsome SunTzu. So what are you doing after this wedding? |
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| Reply by: Jordan at Jan 29, '08 19:52 | |
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*signals his colleague to lower the gun on Jordan slightly as he turns to Jethro* As no man has chosen to rationally object to this holy union we can proceed forthwith, do you, Jethro Q.Walrustitty take Jordan to be your lawfully wedded wife? *Jethro tries to resist answering but eventualy nods his head and murmurs a yes* Good, good *turns to Jordan and winks after 'checking' his diary* Well darlin, looks like I've a fairly free schedule, but surely you need to spend your first night of marital bliss with your husband ;) Anyhow, do you Jordan *turns and mutters to his colleague 'whats her bleeding surname?' feh, nvm* do you Jordan take Jethro to be your lawful wedded husband? |
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| Reply by: SunTzu at Jan 29, '08 20:08 | |
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The reality of the words 'lawful wedded husband' hit Jordan like a ton of bricks. Oh no, I can't get married! Are you crazy? Nevermind, I already know the answer to that. Jordan slowly backed away from Jethro, SunTzu and the gathering of men holding guns. I can't marry Jethro anyway because I heard Luki is madly in love with him. She's the one who really wants to marry him. |
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| Reply by: Jordan at Jan 29, '08 20:40 | |
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Last time I married someone I hated... well, let's just say I had no idea sock monkeys could be such bitches. Oh, and for scientific comparison, I hate all of you. Alright, that wasn't so much for science as it was for me, but data is data. |
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| Reply by: Rudiger at Jan 29, '08 21:05 | |
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| I heard the same thing. Luki and her wig collections lusts after me. | |
| Reply by: Jethro at Jan 30, '08 10:41 | |
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You are mistaken, my friend. I'm incapable of loving anyone. My boss Cathy_Parks though, would love to marry you. She spent a few hours talking about you last night, told me all her dreams of having a family with you. |
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| Reply by: Luki at Jan 30, '08 10:55 | |
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Now Luki you know that isn't totally true.. why i heard you talking just the other day of wanting to see A1capon3 in a thong and if that isn't love then that two bit whore from suskatchuan was lying to me... Krash walks off mumbling something about the freezing cold and snow women... |
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| Reply by: Krash at Jan 30, '08 11:12 | |
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Mr. Krash, such outrageous accusations! You are not well informed, sir. However, I did heard about your side lover, Nick_Toreno. I hope you two have a brilliant future together. |
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| Reply by: Luki at Jan 30, '08 12:18 | |
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Actually, Nick's with me. Raises the glass he would've stamped on (it's a Jewish Wedding Here's to the most fucked up union of all time! |
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| Reply by: Jethro at Jan 30, '08 12:19 | |
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