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| Community Stage | Started by: Mr_47 on Jan 30, '08 19:37 |
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A kid, a goat, a Canadian illegal immigrant, and a chihuahua harnessed to a platform on wheels pull it out from an alley onto the side of the street. Cathy Parks stands on the platform screaming at them to pull faster. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, criminals and psychopaths, and assorted speaking dairy products! I have an announcement and a gift! But first, let's get this out of the way. Raises a curtain to reveal a clown standing on a soapbox. Kicks the box out from under the clown, then smashes the box with a bat. Then shoots the clown in the face. You may ask yourself, "why did he do that?" Because I hate clowns. Smug smiling bastards. Mimes are even worse. Sees a mime in the crowd, shoots him, too. Not so monochromatic now, are you?!? Also, I do this because I tire of seeing people, nay, more than people, mafioso, standing in the street on crates or boxes to speak to the masses. Surely we can do better than that. And we can! I give you the community stage! Whenever you feel the need to address a group of people, jump on the stage. Why the hell not? If you're going to deliver some sort of monologue, you might as well do it on stage. But for the love of God, stop interrupting my damn lunch by grabbing an orange crate from God knows where, standing on it, clearing your throat of whatever the hell is in there, and yelling at a crowd of people. I'm eating lunch, damn it! If I'm not, I'm walking here! Get the damned crate off the sidewalk. You're worse than the homeless people asking for money. Or that bum down the street that plays the jazz flute. Get off the damn sidewalk! Now, I'd like to start. Today, I learned to speak Italic. I spent a week in Italicly with a tutor, but I think I have it down. Thank you, that is all. |
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Oh I see. It is like that is it? Well, fuck you guys. Packs up his jazz flute. |
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| Reply by: a1capon3 at Jan 30, '08 19:58 | |
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Translation: Please help Mr_47 by contributing to his speech. I hear something about entering others speeches actually helps them rank up in this thing of ours. Honestly though, I can think of worse speeches to contribute to, so I fully support this idea. With that being said, if I don't see you saying something here within the next 24 hours, I'll add you to my list...you know, the list. Oh yeah, at Capo. Totally believe it. |
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| Reply by: RogueAtCapo at Jan 30, '08 20:04 | |
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Did you learn to speak Italic from Howard? I hear he's absolutely fluent in that shit! But more to the point... look what you did. She points to the busted clown. Now we can't hear a1capon3 and the Bozo Blues Band. This is a vee dot vee dot sad day indeed. |
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| Reply by: Caitlin_McConnell at Jan 30, '08 20:06 | |
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I noticed that "humanesque, speaking pigs with sorta-superpowers" was omitted from the list. Why must you discriminate against me, Mr_47? SpiderPig retreats behind the stage, takes a shot of whiskey, and begins sobbing uncontrollably |
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| Reply by: SpiderPig at Jan 30, '08 20:11 | |
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| I don't know about the rest of you, but I love my bacon drenched in booze and the tears of an emotionally troubled childhood. | |
| Reply by: Caitlin_McConnell at Jan 30, '08 20:15 | |
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Oh, no, you misunderstand me, Mr. RogueAtCapo. The stage is yours to use for your own speeches, not just for comments about my speech. Damn it, would someone pay the flute player to stop that horrible, horrible noise? |
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| Reply by: Mr_47 at Jan 30, '08 22:48 | |
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Siobhan traipses up and sees her sister talking to an odd man surrounding by strange accoutrements Cat, are ye gonna pull out 'at fiddle of yours and play somewhat we can dance to? I brought my clogs... She holds up a pair of shoes with long laces tied together in a bow |
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| Reply by: Siobhan_McConnell at Jan 30, '08 23:05 | |
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