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| Phalange Fetching Foe | Started by: StealToeTony on Feb 02, '08 22:29 |
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A disturbed looking young man approaches the gathering in the streets and clears his throat, loudly so all might be aware hes about to speak "Ladies and gentlemen...Zebedee, it has come to my attention that there is a Hooded Hoodlum running about stealing the toes of innocent victims. There are even reports of this individual masquerading about, and sneaking into the bedrooms of some of the ladies we call family, just to nibble and suck on the toes of these victims. This tootsie tyrant will stop at nothing to get his toe fetish fix. I am coming here today to ask you all for a few things: 1) Has anyone had an encounter with this Toe thief 2) can you give a accurate description of this man. 3) make sure you are wearing extra socks and to tie your shoes tight. (anything to discourage this man is necessary) We need to come together as a community in an effort to rid society of such a travesty to ever happen again. I beg you, please! We need your help! ~Tony |
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Siobhan sobs as she staggers to the streets It's true...that dastardy dude and pilfered my piggy. Took my tootsie!! He Pocketed my pointer toe! Please....just keep an eye out (And for the love of creamed spinach, make sure to lock down your laces!) He's evil....and he's able to take a toe without tickles. |
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| Reply by: Siobhan_McConnell at Feb 02, '08 22:33 | |
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A frail woman approaches Tony and slaps him across the face. How dare you make a mockery of such attacks!! YOU of all people should know what happened! You were there! She points dramatically at Tony then reaches into his pocket withdrawing her very own big toe. SEE PROOF!! YOU STOLE MY TOE AND SUCKED IT IN FRONT OF ME! A shiver of disgust rocks through her body. You are the worst kind of man! You are disgusting. She slaps Tony across the face again. P.S. You smell like puke. She stalks off with her toe to get it reattached. |
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| Reply by: Serafina_Pekkala at Feb 02, '08 22:33 | |
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| Serafina, we all know that you had six toes on that one foot anyway. | |
| Reply by: Mr_47 at Feb 02, '08 22:38 | |
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Jumping back as a result of the slap, Tony Frowns I am here to help you, that toe...that beautiful tasty big toe...well I found it, I wasn't sure who it belonged to. Tony pulls his shirt to his nose and takes a whiff EEK! I do smell....what did you eat? It smells like ravioli... Tony runs off to change his shirt |
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| Reply by: StealToeTony at Feb 02, '08 22:38 | |
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Mr. 47 sir, how dare you comment about my feet! Like you have even seen them. She sticks her nose up in the air in distaste. You sir, smell like a camel! |
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| Reply by: Serafina_Pekkala at Feb 02, '08 22:50 | |
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| And you, my dear, had six toes on your right foot. I didn't even mention that your toes are webbed on both feet, as well. You should be thanking me for my discretion. And, for your information, I bought this cologne from Cathy Parks. She assured me that it did not, as you say, "smell like camels." | |
| Reply by: Mr_47 at Feb 02, '08 23:04 | |
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My toes are not webbed. I have five toes on each foot. I have five fingers on each hand. I only have two boobs. Please, stop with these lies. Your slander is misdirected. It is Tony that you should be abusing. What did I ever do to you Miss 11? She pats the disillusioned soul on the shoulder. You know they make drugs for your kind of problem. |
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| Reply by: Serafina_Pekkala at Feb 02, '08 23:08 | |
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| Dearest Serafina, it is so unfortunate that senility has begun to set in at your age. Look at your feet. You're wearing sandals. We all know the truth. It's time that you dealt with your polydactyly and syndactyly both physically and psychologically. You need help. Also, Tony assures me that one of those boobs is fake, but he's not sure which one. | |
| Reply by: Mr_47 at Feb 02, '08 23:15 | |
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Dearest 47, I do wish you would get past my turning your many offers down. I fear you have let it rot your very soul. I'm sorry I could not buy your camel for a million dollars. I'm sorry I could not buy your goat for a million dollars. My banker advised me that investing in animals that have a greatly shortened lifespan due to your repeated use of them for carnal pleasures was not advisable. Please, pick up the pieces of your heart and stop trying to defame me in public. I will have to call a lawyer if you persist. |
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| Reply by: Serafina_Pekkala at Feb 02, '08 23:33 | |
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| You and I both know that your lawyer is a figment of your obviously overactive imagination. Why don't you take your extra toe and go home and rest. You always feel better after your nap. | |
| Reply by: Mr_47 at Feb 02, '08 23:51 | |
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I have only one thing to say... How DARE you disrespect a Camel in such a way... I LOVE MY CAMELS and they DO NOT smell NEARLY as horrible as Mr_47... Turns around and stomps off towards his Sex Camels Emporium |
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| Reply by: Monte at Feb 03, '08 00:43 | |
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| Look what you've started. Now, I have a reputation. Cathy Parks assured me that this was a very expensive cologne. I've never even seen a camel. | |
| Reply by: Mr_47 at Feb 03, '08 00:51 | |
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Using her "sources" she finds the ingredients list to the offensive cologne. Hmm hmmm... Here we go. Essence of camel dung, camel bile, camel rumen, and camel urine. Didn't your Mama ever teach you to read the bottle? She covers her nose and gags a little. Not to mention that you don't need to bathe in the cologne? |
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| Reply by: Serafina_Pekkala at Feb 03, '08 01:09 | |
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Tony sneaks up behind Monte stealth like a ninja and steals Monte's Camel Toe "WEEEE, my favorite type of toe!!" Tony licks the camel toe |
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| Reply by: StealToeTony at Feb 03, '08 01:30 | |
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She shudders, her eyes quickly averted from the scene of obvious animal abuse. Oh the poor camel... That poor, poor camel... It's toes will never be the same.. Her eyes grow large with fear and distaste when she looks back at the scene unfolding before her. OH DEAR LORD HE'S LICKING MONTE!!!! |
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| Reply by: Serafina_Pekkala at Feb 03, '08 02:11 | |
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As he is walking back to The Sex camel Emporium he feels a brisk breeze as his silk robe is lifted from behind, before he has time to react he feels a wet tongue flick up and down his very own Camel Toe, Surprised by such an action he is left wondering if he should pull his gun out and shoot the Camel Toe thief in the gace or to allow such an erotic sexual action take place "I DEMAND to know who is under my robe licking away at my prized Camel Toe!!" After one more solid lashing of his tongue StealToeTony pops his deformed head out from under Monte's robe "If it was not for the fact you have a ridiculously large tongue and the experience to go with it I would be forced to shoot your gace off!! Now sir please get from under my robe and by the gods PLEASE cleanse yourself of that stench and lastly stop at the Doctor's as it seems your mangina is oozing some type of green discharge..." He snaps his head around and continues on his way to his Camels walking with a slightly lighter step and in quite the better mood |
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| Reply by: Monte at Feb 03, '08 10:35 | |
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*47 and Serafina stop their argument, staring at the others, and back away, slowly.* Ooooook, well. Guess it's time I hit the ol' dusty trail. *Turns and runs* |
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| Reply by: Mr_47 at Feb 03, '08 14:20 | |
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She gulps and turns her face away before the image is burned into her memory and follows Mr. 47's lead... Well, when the going gets tough, the tough get... Never mind not going to finish that one. I'm outties, this is far too disturbing for my pure and innocent brain! She runs as fast as she can for the nearest diner to bury her face in a plate of apple pie. |
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| Reply by: Serafina_Pekkala at Feb 03, '08 14:43 | |
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Tony runs by the crowd yelling The Toe thief strikes again! Hide your children!! |
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| Reply by: StealToeTony at Feb 04, '08 17:11 | |
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