Little Red Riding Hoodlum

Gather 'round boys and girls.  Let good ol' Mr. Pickles tell you a story.  Once upon a time, there was a little hoodlum who always wore a red suit.  She was called Little Red Riding Hoodlum.  One day, this little girl decided she was going to visit her grandmother’s house in Las Vegas.  So, she packed a lunch, and merrily went on her one.  Upon entering the city limits, she saw a big sign that read “Welcome to New York!  You’re in Dick Country Now.  Now Go Away!”  Not heeding this advice, the little hoodlum went forward.  Along the way, Richard Wad saw her coming.  He asked around, and found out she was going to her grandmother’s house. 

“Well, she can’t come here without my permission!”

So, Dick went to her grandmother’s house, wacked her, and disguised himself as her.  Then, he got into his van and stopped right in front of Little Red Riding Hoodlum.

“Get in!” Growled big bad Richard Wad..

“Grandma!  What a big van you have!”

“The better to kidnap you with, my dear.”  She got into the van.  Valentine tied her up.  “You’re not allowed in Dick Country.”

“Whateva!  Whateva!  I do what I want! . . .  Grandma, what a big gun you have!” 

“The better to shoot you with, my dear.”  And, with that, Dick dispatched with Little Red Riding Hoodlum.  “Now I’ve got to go deal with this Goldilocks thug who keeps mugging some bears!”

The moral of this story is . . . never eat yellow snow.

Those of you who paid attention might realise that I changed where Red was going in the middle of my story . . . it's artistic license.  Especially if you forget where Wad's from and forget to think about what you're saying.

And . . . I first wrote this story years ago, and I can't read good, and I'm really tired, which is why I'm reading a bedtime story.