Dick, drunk as hell, stumbling, dropped the mic, picked it up, dropped it again, says "To hell with it," and begins talking

Sir, I know you had dropped your pill bottle down the gutter the other evening causing you to have epileptic seizures all over the streets. If you have this funny feeling that everyone is watching you, it's because they are. I know it's hard to comprehend why people aren't responding with the same enthusiasm, but I am here to help you with that. I shall break it down for you, show you why you get such funny looks.

Seizure Antics #1

From street post "boycott on new orleans"

"Im not exactly sure what happened in new orleans this morning. If the bin dippers had any involvement to the plot it was news to me. I didnt even know there was a plot."

If you were aware of a plot, I want to know your secret! Do you get mixed signals from the other side? Do you speak to the dead? Or was the ghosts of the recently deceased suppose to approach you as you arrive to these shores with answers? PLEASE TELL ME! I must know your secret!

Seizure Antics #2

From street post "boycott on new orleans"

"thats funny i single handly organized and set up a jail break party free for all to attend that lasted over two hours and 23 rounds of breaking. It took minimal effort, but still was more than any leader has done in a long long time. everyone when they get a HQ promises there going to do so much and truth be told they dont do jack shit"

Once again, amazing you were able to do such things before existing. I must know these powers.

However, if you can compare a few jail breaking sessions, to a lifetime of work, behind the scenes or not, then your pretty much stating everyone has done jack shit and your god almighty for ratting some hoodlums in a city out. That's how you did it!!! Your a time traveling Rat! Size must give you the ability to make the jump through time. Absolutely amazing! I must make documentations.

Seizure Antics #3

From street speech "a backroom dealing"

"Hes lazy and no ones going to auth him for gf. And werent you a bin dipper, whats up with taht?"

Not a Bin dipper, the ultimate proof of disloyalty. I for one have taken a lesson learned from this; If you don't bin dip with your fellow family members, sometime down the road a ghost shall approach you and curse the very ground you walk on. How dare you not bin dip!!

Seizure Antics #4

From street speech "Tonight's Events"

"a whole city was killed for something that could have been accomplished by just killing QTR. i dont know if you had hoped it would strenghting a certian crew in no by doing so but i doubt that will happen. i dont think any former new orleans resident plans to for anyone remaining in no or chicago. i think what ever plan was hatched has backfired."

YES! The time traveler has returned! This time by correcting those who made their actions based on what they found is truth, by telling them how it really went down in the spiritual world!

I do have news for you Walter, it did backfire. In fact, it backfired so hard it made a prostitute in church seem moral. How so? I didn't get the remains of Whistleboxcarwillster delivered like promised! I wanted to hump the body in attempt to maybe get that spark of enthusiasm that he so openly displayed. I mean really? Who wouldn't to hump a man who had the balls to call out a CL within his own City, promise they were all going to die, and then it happen. Hmmmmm.... Such powers your genes have!

Now I could continue, but your awesome ability to tell people how it is, just told me to stop right here and now. How do you do such things? Do your seizures render you super powers?

Whatever the case may be, I just wanted to address a point. You obviously know 'something' in your little dome of yours is blinking, that little blink blink should not go ignored. That is your common sense alarm dinging, its wanting you to come back home.

as i do remember from my fathers journals werent you bawling in the streets that people found you long winded and boring? hmmm...maybe he was on to something.

p.s. eat a dick.

Actually I find Richard to be quite funny and entertaining. I don't know what kind of half assed journal your father had. He must not have been a man with a sense of humor. Oh well.

If i may correct you Walter. Big Dick wasn't moaning in the streets, if you'd have been a loyal listener you'd have heard that he had conducted an experiment. But Experiments are horrible. I mean animal testing on rats like you is wrong.

A Dick eating a dick? Now that is an interesting thought. As for boring I find Richard's unique sense of humor rather enjoyable. I would hardly consider this boring.

The best though is that along with, 'loyal', 'honest', and 'hard-working', his suit lists panic attacks, anxiety, and a family tree of failures as if they were selling points to potential mob leaders. What a raving endorsement.

After an hour of trying to eat himself, with neck cramps, and with teeth marks running along his left arm Dick steps in front of the crowd

"I have done as he wished. I have attempted to chew on my own morsel, and I even nibbled on my succulent phalanges. Still nothing, nothing has changed. As impossible as it may be to eat myself, I find it even harder to see the purpose of your public presence when it all contains is your fathers inabilities to establish reason. All I see or hear for that matter, since sometimes I'm too high to keep my attention set on one visual (especially when it's a willie singing in a boxcar, so disturbing), is a Mafioso trying to fill shoes bigger then his feet allow, and you know what they say about small feet don't you?"

Smiles

"With excuses for reasoning rather than solutions, is only making things harder then they should be for you. What your failing to see is the big picture. Instead then trying to come up with reasons as to why events happened, instead of trying to be a leader when it's not your place, instead of questioning other's actions, instead of looking like a Wang when your not even Korean, instead of looking like a jackass when your really a chimp with a few screws loose or whatever the case may be, try and realize your going about it the wrong way. Sorry but coming out to the streets and swearing up and down the demise of a fellow city Familglia, when you LOVE your family SOOOOO much cause nightly they tell you a bedtime story and feed you your milk n cookies like a good lil Mafioso, is not the way to establish any sort of trust with ANYONE within the community. I don't care if it was my brother who was conjoined with me at birth by the penis (the real mans heart), and then later separated. If that motherfucker showed any sort of display your father did, or even his sperm donation for that matter, I wouldn't even share my sloppy seconds. For a Dick, that says a lot. So instead of bashing everyone else for a change, go rub one off, smoke a joint, drink some whiskey, and ask yourself one question, "Do I really look like a priest who has fallen out of faith and joined a bordello to become pimp?" The answer to that is yes you are way out of your league."

Puts out the blunt he had already lit

"So before you attack me on whatever is your trying to attack me with, remember this, I'm rubber your glue, what you say bounces of me and sticks to you! It's only appropriate to end this childish nonsense with a childish rhyme, no?"

Richard lights another blunt and skips down the alley