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The Lost Jedi - Chapter 3: Dark Thoughts Started by: Anakin_Skywalker on May 23, '19 15:36

Chaos!

 Violence breaks out in different parts on the planet called Earth. Due to the collapse and sudden deaths of many people due to wars on the streets, Anakin Skywalker finds himself once again wandering about, once again trying to find a purpose or a place to belong to. His travels have brought him to the city of Las Vegas, where he attempts to provide his services to the city and also keep the weight of the past events off his shoulders...


Hotels. Anakin was finding that he was beginning to dislike hotels. They were of course, a lot better than sleeping outside and dealing with the elements, but at the same time, now that he experienced what it was like to have a home again and a place to belong, the turmoil of losing that hit far harder than he remembered.  He'd been in New York for the longest time before suddenly losing his leader to a random killer. He then made a living for himself or was beginning to out where he had first landed, in Los Angeles. The story went the same, another leader taken right before him, and next to nothing that he could do. Almost cursed with his own survival, Anakin pushed on. He had to, but that didn't keep the thoughts of being a failure, of being alone, and remembering just how far from home he really was. 

All his time being a Jedi, Anakin didn't once feel homesick. Seeing the world, going on new adventures, having the kind of life his mother wished for him to have filled him with happiness. Being a Jedi filled him with purpose. Now that was gone, and didn't seem to be coming back anytime soon.  He started making a living for himself here, on this planet. Made connections, made friends, at least he thought, was helping to improve things for people and make a name for himself. Unfortunately, just like his previous life, that seemed to now be gone too. Fighting that had nothing really to do with his people, nothing really to do with him, took people away from him that he cared about. He was hopeless to do anything about it. It reminded him of his mother, it reminded him of this situation he now found himself, lost on a planet, with very little to nothing going for him. He felt a failure, lost and alone. 

His master would usually tell him to meditate, find his center, find balance in moments like these. Anakin couldn't disagree more with that theory at this time. Anakin didn't meditate much these days. Things were worse for him inside his mind then they were before. Strong feelings of anger, grief, and pain were brought to the forefront of his mind when he closed his eyes. Thoughts and memories of his failures. Those weren't what bothered him the most. 

There was a darkness, calling out to him, beckoning him to use it, to draw upon it. Visions of a dark future, of his dark future. Where he looked at himself and saw a person filled with rage and hatred and pure evil. Even that didn't scare him. What did scare him, were how drawn to these visions he was. How weak his resistance would be when he thought about the predicament he was in now, and what his visions were showing him what he'd become, he didn't fear it anymore. He didn't have such a strong feeling of wanting to deny he would ever give into those visions. It wasn't that far outside the realm of possibility anymore. In fact, he often pondered just what would happen if he did just give in. He pondered why he should stop himself from doing so?

He was a world or maybe a few away from the Jedi. What had his morals gotten him? What were they doing for him down here? If anything they were holding him back. Keeping him from having the kinda life he could have if he went all in down the other path had to offer, the DARKER path. Anakin was afraid when he found himself with less and less reasons to convince himself not to turn down that path. He felt like he would be replaced, like he wouldn't be the same person at all anymore, but instead something or someone completely different. These things were now what scared Anakin. 

So he sat in his current hotel room in Vegas, with these thoughts running over and over in his head. He continued to ponder on them and use them as reasons to stay away from meditation, or were they the reasons why he could no longer do it properly. Either way, it was off the table. He knew he needed something to do to clear his head, but he hadn't been going out much. Since coming to Vegas to work for another friend he'd met in his travels, he'd mostly stayed in. He fought with his thoughts, and tried to find ways to keep his mind busy, though it rarely worked. Sometimes he'd look down out the window and just watch the people pass by, and the cars. From time to time he'd watch a plane fly and think back to the days when all he wanted to do was take flight into the sky once more. It seemed like so long ago, and maybe it was? He'd long since stopped keeping track of time, ad it really didn't matter to him much at all. 

It was then the phone in his room rang. There was only a handful of people who had the number, those who worked for him, the woman he worked for, and the people he worked with. It happened to be the latter as he was able to recognize from the rough voice on the other end of the line. They had a use for him, it had been awhile since he worked with the bounty collector group that he met when he first came back to Los Angeles. Most of the big organization they used to do work for had been taken out during all the fighting of recent times. Some still remained while others were attempting to rise themself. This made way for smaller gangs to also try to take their shot at filling in the big shoes, which the bigger ones didn't want to allow them the chance to get there. This is what kept the bounty hunter group in high demand at the moment, though mostly they weren't just capturing people anymore. 

Most contracts they were taking these days, were termination contracts, hitman work. They were mostly hired killers, which is why Anakin put some space between them and himself. Anakin didn't believe in killing for gain, or killing for no reason at all. Again, his moral and teachings, which did nothing to help him or keep his fallen friends alive, it did nothing to get him back home, it did nothing to help his situation much at all. Most importantly, it did nothing to keep the dark thoughts that plagued him most of the time now away either. This line of thinking led to him accepting to help the group carry out a contract. Anakin didn't feel much regret or remorse for agreeing. He didn't feel the usual feelings of disgust. If he were being honest with himself, he didn't feel much of anything. Numb, numb to the world, numb to his thoughts, numb to everything. Almost like he was moving on auto pilot. 

He went over to where his robe hung off the back of a chair and put it on. Next thing he went for was his sword which was leaning up against the wall, inside of it's scabbard. He'd had the weapon made for him, after a scrap in which he learned he couldn't block bullets with his lightsaber like he could block with blaster bolts. It was a fatal lesson but the lesson was one he needed to learn in order to knock his arrogance down a peg or two. While he couldn't block a bunch of bullets with his sword, it was trustworthy enough to use to redirect them if used at certain angles, and that would be better suited to saving him if needed than them going right through his lightsaber. Luckily the scabbard he had also came with something to attach the weapon to his hip. With his mind clear and his weapon attached, he pulled the hood of his robe up over his head. He felt more comfortable this way these days, not wanting others to see his face or try to read the emotions he was giving off. The ones that he couldn't control anymore. Anakin made his way to the door, not sure if he'd come back to see this place again, not caring either. He had work to do and that's all he was focused on right now. 

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