I don't know, Jack Meoff thought to himself as he walked down the road fidgeting about under his trench coat. It was a mundane and calm night for Jack. He had an itch to scratch. It had been years since he dawned his favorite trench coat and satisfied his flashing fetish. Its all he could think about lately. The chronic masturbation had become too much to bare and he needed the ultimate release.

Jack made his way to a busy intersection where he noticed scores of people. It was the perfect opportunity. His adrenaline was pumping. All he wanted to do was helicopter his genitalia around for all to see. Jack made his move and unbuttoned his trench coat as he made is way toward a group of pretty girls trying to cross the street. Jack sprung toward them with a smile on his face and his penis flapping.

"Heya ladies, like what ya see" Jack said before helicoptering his massive dong around. 

Jack was so in the moment, his heart was racing. He didn't notice the large police officer making his way over to him, baton at the ready. It was too late, Jack couldn't run away fast enough. The officer rammed the baton up Jacks butt, sideways. The pain was so excruciating. Jack knew at that moment that he'd never be right again. The thought of shitting pancakes for the rest of his life set in quick as the police officer handcuffed him and read him his rights. 

"You got the wrong guy officer. I was merely walking and my penis fell out and twirled from that vicious Chicago wind."

There was no point in trying to plead his case. The officer had seen everything. Jack Meoff would probably spend a little time behind bars for this one. With a name like his and his newly remodeled backside he would no doubt be a popular inmate.