I was born in 1972. I am 46, in September I will be ... wait for it .... 47. HAHA.

I am a veteran of the first Gulf War "Desert Storm/Shield" (1990-1998 Army) plus two tours in Afghanistan after that.

I have a daughter who is 21 and a son who is 23. The mothers (Yes, Plural) of those children left me for other guys .... could of been my drinking when I got back or cause I accused them daily of cheating? Who knows. (All I know, is that drinking keeps me from putting a bullet in my brain pan on a daily bases ... Look down to PTSD.) 

I joined the Army when I was 17 years old, just graduated high school (Had my Mother sign the paper work to let me in .... will NOT go there. It hurt her so much in life to do that for me. She passed in 2014, we had very angry words to each other the last time I EVER seen her. MORE issues ... where is (The plumber) Dr. Phil when you need him? LMFAO.) I was 20 when I got home with two babies by two different women. (Damn, us kid had no clue.)

PTSD is and has been my kryptonite sense 1993. Loud noises and conflict set me off IRL. I own guns and have drawn then on folks who have fucked with my peace and/or property ... to be fair, only like twice, maybe four times??? Ain't shot no-one yet. I do have daily thoughts of suicide for years now. My belief in a god (or higher power) keep me from it. Just being honest with all of you.

Have gotten use to almost everything in the past 20 years or so that set me off, but, sometimes, ... if I'm triggered just right, transfers it to here and the 5 other games I play.

There are moments, from time to time, IRL, where shit sets me off and I am rude and crass (mainly just a dick/asshole) on here. Most times though, I'm funny and friendly. If you see a change in me, PLEASE take no offense, just me being me for years now. It has/was never about you (Even though you may have been the blunt of my anger). I never hold a grudge longer then 10 or 20 minutes. (JackMezzo, Zoom, JaceCorso, Uncle Joe, Carlo_Gambino, Elyan, Amiee, Hope, Ellie and several others, should be able to attest to this.)

One of my best friends in life, (William C*****, (I use him for my major example cause he was a great friend back then), I will not give his full name cause I won't put his family out there. I Love/loved??? him/them too much to make life worse.) was beside me when we went into Baghdad.

The bombing lasted like 3 to 5 weeks saw it EVERY day on CNN, NBC, whatever ... the ground war, however ... lasted like, 100 hours. (Iraq solders were surrendering too CNN camera crews by then, for fuck sake.) But in that 100 hour time, when we went in, my friend Bill had the top of his head blew apart from a sniper. He was not more then two feet from me. I grabbed him and took us to the ground. I lost my SHIT (For the first time, but not last.) for a bit. It took me, like, 2 to 3 minutes to understand what I saw and realize what I needed to do. (Trust me, your brain fails for a bit when major shit happens. For 20 years I STILL think and dream about this daily/nightly.)

I took his belongings from him and stored them in my pockets (Yes for all you fuckers who like to question everything ... I left a note, encase I died as well, as too who the shit should go to.).

About a year later, I was sent home. When I got home, I drover to W***** Alaska, to his house, and introduced myself to his wife and two daughters (ages 5 and 7). I took, what I took off Bill (Wallet, wedding ring, family pictures, cash ... everything.)and give it to his wife ....Long story short, I spent 3 days there and told his wife what happened to Bill (It was quick and painless TBH ... for him. The rest of us .... it hurt for years. And still does on certain days.) I told his daughters about how great of man their Daddy was and how much he loved them. (This is/was something I will ALWAYS remember as a a highlight in my life.)

Bill was MY dearest friend, but lost several others during those times.

I only express this to you all in a half ass way to explain why I act the way I do sometimes on here. If this is too much for you, due to age or more life experience .... then I am sorry. I just want you all to know who you will be playing with for years to come.

Love and respect too ALL.

Orlin.

So, the reason I posted this was .... Bill's youngest daughter reached out to me on Father's Day the 16th (which my kids have never done ... long story there.) to thank me for what I did 20 some years ago. Was blown away by it. She is now in her early 30's ..... f*ck me how time flies.

Got me thinking for a few days about all that had transpired back then and decided to tell my/his story just to express feelings I was feeling yesterday.

One of the reasons I love this game is that you can take feelings and express them in a way to coincide with the game, but get them off your chest as well. Did one about my niece being killed in a car crash a year ago. It helped me to calm myself.

Someone asked where my other post I talked about was so, ...

My niece is here .... https://mafiareturns.com/comm/thread/1192410#19033613

Second entry is about her. The first was my attempt to give a place for folks to express emotion for those CL/friends lost during the (wars/takedowns) that have happened sense I started playing this game.