Mr. Pickles sits in a big comfortable chair with a book on his lap and a cigarette in his mouth.

Gather 'round, boys and girls.  It's time for another story.  Today's story is Humpty Dumpty.

Pickles opens his book . . .

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the godfather's horses, and all the godfather's men,
Couldn't put Humpty together again. 

And, the moral of the story is, NEVER send a horse to do a delicate medical procedure. I mean, my god, it's a horse! They don't even have opposable thumbs. To think, a monkey would be better at something . . . I shudder at the thought. Seriously, what imbecile though it would be a good idea?

Well, boys and girls, that's today's story.  Now scamper off and girls, make sure you avoid Richard Wad's house, and don't ever take candy from him.  And, there are no puppies or bunnies in his van for you to play with.

Mr. Pickles closes his book and heads off to a bar.

Looks oddly at Mr.Pickles

Shouldn't you also consider not sitting on a wall? Then she gasps at hearing no bunnies. NO.. bunnies really that's so sad, and no puppies? She sulks as she wanders down the street not knowing now where to get a bunny or puppy from.

Grif stumbles on the streets with a frying pan and an apron.

Anyone want eggs?

Waves at Grif

I do!! Lays down 4 dollars

I just love eggs.

I'll take some as well. Haven't had a good breakfast yet. 

As for you advice about Don Dick, I think its sound advice. I can't believe he would lie about such things being in his van though.

I heard that TheDean paid for the hit on Humpty_Dumpty and him falling off was just a cover.

Jack looks at Mr Pickles, looks to his right, and to his left, seeing Grif trying to cook eggs with a cold frying pan and some snow. he is confused, people seem to be acting strange, is this what the festive season does to people? Not wanting to look out of place, he pulls a bottle of rum from his pocket, taking a swig

"Anyone want some rum with their eggs? Perhaps if Humpty had some rum in him, the fall wouldn't have hurt him as much, you are invincible when drunk, if you didnt know that, hence why i always drink my rum"

I'll take some of that there rum, Jack.

Looks at Grif flipping some eggs

I'll take an egg too, while im at it. Why not.

Grif looks up at Jack.

Ah great! Just what we needed. Would you have anything to stir the rest of these eggs? The tip of my gun is getting a bit nasty. Maybe a wooden leg perhaps? Oh and what can we do about plates?

Grif thinks to ask the owner of the house next to them. He takes a big swig of the rum and runs up to the front door. Knocking obnoxiously, he yells

Hey! Hurr...

Before he could finish, the words of Mr_Pickles came rushing back to him. Wide-eyed, he stood there motionless staring at the twisted, smiling face of RichardWad.