It was a cold, stormy night, and Luxanna was fast asleep in her warm, cozy bed. She had a small apartment for herself, it wasn't that she couldn't afford any larger housing, she just was too lazy to clean up anything bigger or hire someone who could easily snoop through her belongings.

Who she did hire, however, was the dynamic bodyguard duo of Bub and Jeffrey. Bub was the firepower, a true expert in weaponry, although his name was a bit deceiving. Most would expect a Bub to be quite large in mass, but he was quite lanky. Jeffrey, on the other hand, knew how to use his guns, but his real guns were his arms. He could definitely break at least 3 twigs at the same time, perhaps even 4. These bodyguards Lux has hired to keep watch at night, since she was such a heavy sleeper. She was afraid that someone would be able to break down her door and perhaps something worse without her even waking up.  Both of them were seated outside of her apartment, equipped with their signature pistols nice and nearby.

A figure approached up the stairs, someone which neither bodyguard had seen before. Not wanting to cause any scene, both just eyed this man suspiciously, as it was very well possible this was just a friend of a tenant. It was impossible to know these days what everyone was up to, and at which hours they worked. Plus, it wasn't like he was coming up with a gun or anything. The figured approached Bub and Jeffrey, politely asking

"Excuse me, do you know where I can find apartment 45f?"

As Bub turned to his head and pointed his arm to the right, the man had lunged a knife deep into Jeffrey's chest. He was trying to breathe frantically but instead seeming to be coughing and choking out blood, as if his lung at been punctured by the sudden knife. Although shocked, Bub knew what he had to do. He had to take care of this threat, once and for all, and then try to save his partner-in-bodyguarding. Bub reached for his gun, but this attacker was not stupid either. His fist was aimed straight at Bub's face, and with a loud smack, he was knocked out cold. 

Although there had been quite a scuffle in front of her door, Lux had slept nice and soundly through it all. She even followed her normal routine of breakfast and morning preparations, before finally opening the door. She was shocked to see one of her bodyguards knocked out with a bruised face and the other covered in blood. She quickly checked for a pulse on Jeffrey, but it was too late for him. Her beloved bodyguard had been killed by the knife still sticking into his chest. Even though Lux didn't know if he had some sort of tragic backstory to use as motivation or not, she knew she would have to avenge him. Since it appeared to be too late for Jeffrey she then turned to Bub, giving him a good shake. Lux had no clue why someone would take one bodyguard out and not the other, but based on the gun laying near Bub's hand, she believed she at least figured out why he was knocked out. With a groan, Bub began to wake up from his unpleasant unconsciousness. 

"Bub, what the hell happened?! Why are you knocked out trying to reach for your gun, and why is Jeffrey dead?! Who did this!"

Lux wasted no time in bombarding him with questions before he was even fully there again, but unfortunately, all he said was

"I don't know boss, some guy that I've never seen before pretend to come ask for directions, then when I tried to help him out lunged forward and stabbed Jeffrey... I tried to reach for my gun, but I was too late, he must've knocked me out cold. I'm sorry boss, luckily he didn't try to go after you or anything."

In the meantime, Luxanna was busy analyzing the crime scene. She was definitely no detective and was probably missing a bunch of important information, but she saw a note laying down on the ground near Jeffrey's lifeless body. It even had blood on it, so it must have been placed there after the murder took place. There wasn't much written on it, but it seemed to be an address:

33rd Macdonald Avenue

There was nothing more, no names, no times, simply nothing. All Luxanna could think of to do was to head there and see if someone or something would be waiting there. Whether it was an ambush or not, she had no other choice. Of course she could let the police take care of this, but she knew how corrupt they were from her own experience. Even Bub knowing the perpetrator's face would not help much here, as once she set her mind of something, she would follow it through no matter what, and it appeared now the only thing in her mind was that dang address.

After calling in favors to ensure poor Jeffrey's body was properly handled and the scene was cleaned up and both the police and civilians in the tenant was involved, Luxanna headed off determined with her remaining bodyguard Bub. She was lucky that the crime had happened late at night and she was an early bird, as there had not appeared to be any witnesses to the crime, unless you count Bruised-face Bub. But before they could head off to the address, she knew they would need some assistance. The muscular punchy-one had fallen, and thus they required a new punchy-one on their team. Lux knew exactly who she needed to ask for help, but the journey to him would not been easy...

Many minutes had passed since Lux and Bub took off on their journey to the outskirts of town to seek guidance and assistance from this mysterious swole contact of Lux, it was definitely at least 10 minutes. The food rations of an apple had been depleted, and the water rations was half the bottle Luxanna had taken with her from the apartment. She knew they had finally made it to their destination, when she saw the field scattered with rocks, and what seemed to be nothing more than a shack in the middle. Next to the humble abode was a gigantic sign that read:

PYORNKRACHZARK

Lux wondered if the sign being so huge due to some sort of symbolism about him being large, or if it was simply due to the fact that his name was way too long and therefore needed a lot of space. Nonetheless, she confidently strolled through his field of various rocks, and knocked loudly on his shack. She hoped he was home, as their journey had been long, and she was not sure who else she could turn to.

The smoke was spreading through the place rapidly, but lucky for Pyornkrachzark he didn't have the standard human insides and so the normal pitfalls of fire weren't exactly a problem to him. Yet it still didn't make up for his lack of vision or everyone else in the building slowly dying around him, and so with one bull rush to the door, he broke it open with ease and quickly saved only himself as was usual for the rather conceited creature. Yet it only took him to a second room, this one filled with sand and a cool ocean breeze... this couldn't be right? Why would someone put a beach into a building? Where did all of the screams go from the other room? It was now just dead silence. Darkness enveloped him as he fell down into the sinking sands. 

"Quicksand!", if there was one thing in the world that even he couldn't handle it was something like this. His body was so top-heavy and strong that he would surely fall to the bottom of the hellish pit, and so as the descent slowly enveloped him, all that Pyorn could do was an attempt to struggle. Yet it was to no avail, but suddenly the ground broke beneath him and he and the sand began to fall into a swirl of colors and delight.

"Whoa..." "Whoa... "Whoa..."

The sounds coming from his mouth didn't seem to be coming from him at all, but rather all around him as he floated in what seemed to be a rather colorful version of outer space. Swirling in the sky and having a bit of fun with it, he finally fell dramatically to the ground and he found himself in a rather small room with nothing else inside of it. Attempting to plead to be let out, he found that nothing would come out of his mouth but the squeaks of a rodent. After a few minutes, water began to drip from the ceiling and make a pitter patter that was getting increasingly loud as the time went on. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. 

TAP!!!

Jumping up, Pyorn realized that he was just deeply into a dream and laughed to himself with glee. He wasn't going to die today, the creature thought to himself -- yet the tapping still continued, which at first confused him deeply -- until he realized it was just the door to his shack being aggressively violated. Standing up and letting out his signature groan which echoed throughout the house and outside for a few miles, he walked over to his bathroom and took a rather large pick into his hands before he started tearing the goop from in between his teeth; as health care was very important to the rocky man. Once that was finished and the goop had been burnt in his oven, he went back into the bathroom and an extremely loud hiss emanated from it which lasted for a few minutes.

"Ahh. Perfect. Now to see who's at the door...", walking over to it to see who was bothering him today, he swung the door open harshly and noticed that it was Lux who seemed to be rather embarrassed, which is when Pyorn realized that he had remembered to do everything in his morning routine except for putting on clothes. We'll just say that the door wasn't the only thing that was swinging... but rushing back into the house, Zark quickly fixed the problem and motioned for Luxanna to come inside.

"So what is up, Luxxy? The local thot... uh, ful friend of mine."

But before she could even open her mouth to speak of anything, Pyorn rushed into his kitchen and pulled out a whisk and a couple of eggs. He placed them onto his counter and zoomed into his bedroom for what seemed to be ten entire minutes, the sounds of what seemed to be multiple animals, such as goats and lions were all heard making rather vicious sounds from within and then as quickly as he had disappeared, the door swung open again and Pyornkrachzark walked back into his house; this time with an entire bag of flour in one hand and a cookbook in another -- at first Lux seemed as if she was going to speak, but instead was curious to see where this was going.

"Oh, sorry. You can start now. I'm making us waffles!"

As she explained in detail what was going on, Pyorn took out his waffle iron and flicked it on. Taking the eggs and smashing them into a rather large stone bowl he followed behind with all of the other ingredients, some milk splashing onto the floor didn't even seem to stop him as he was on a mission to make the best fucking waffles this side of the Mississippi.

"This is all very interesting... can you hand me those mittens? I knitted them myself, they're pure sheep's wool, very strong stuff. Can handle some pretty strong temperatures, you know? My mom taught me how to knit. I was just a small ingenous rock back then and my arms weren't fully grown yet, but damn could I whip up a mousse like no other. Ah! They're done!"

Putting on the mittens which were just handed to him, Pyorn takes out the first batch of waffles and then the second and the third... eventually, there were over 12 sitting atop a rock plate; and for the piece de resistance... some rocks crumbled on top. It would be such a delicious treat that he wasn't able to resist himself as he downed three of them before they even had time to cool. His mouth would have burned had it been a normal human mouth, but luckily for him, it wasn't.

The taste was a blend of savory and yet sweet, with the sedimentary kicker that really gave him a burn in the back of his throat. All it needed was a sprig of peppermint and truly it would be a treat fit for Luxanna that she would be sure to enjoy. Endulgance was very important before busting open a case, which is exactly what it sounded like she was attempting to do. So being the good friend that he was, he went outside into his peppermint garden and took some from it before making his way back indoors and placed just a touch onto the now completely perfected waffles.

"Would you like some syrup?", tapping at his counter, a small man popped from under it and set three different types of syrups next to Luxanna for her to choose from. Pyorn always respected the idea of choice, and this was an important one as the correct syrup could set this over the edge. One was a bit thicker in consistency, what you'd get from a real maple syrup while the other two had more of a sugary twang, although both different levels. Sitting down, he stared directly at Lux and smiled while he waited for her to eat up what he had just crafted for her.

"Eat up, and then sure yeah, I'll help you. Why not?"

He was always going to help, after all, he just really wanted to cook some fucking waffles.

Luxanna had hoped to be on the move as fast as possible, wanting her explanation to Pyorn to be short and sweet. After all, the only details he really needed to know is that one of her beloved bodyguards had been murdered, an address was left behind, and she was going to head there with her remaining bodyguard. Alongside that, she wanted to have his assistance, to be the additional muscle, as everyone knows that two is a company, but three is a party. What she hadn't expected was that she had to watch him make waffles, and then have an entire breakfast. Unfortunately for Lux, she knew Pyorn so she should have seen something like this happening. Then again, it would be hard to convince someone to do anything without their breakfast, and she figured it was about time for second breakfast anyways.

She sat down on a strange rock chair, with the plate of waffles in front of her, alongside the three choices of syrup. She did have to say the chair was quite uncomfortable, but probably anything made out of rocks would need some cushioning, but then again, this chair seemed as if it wasn't made for someone of her stature based on the size. Sometimes she pondered if for Pyorn, rock furniture was comfortable while cushioned furniture was uncomfortable. Strange creatures these living rocks are, Lux thought to herself. 

Not putting too much thought into her choice of syrup, she grabbed the middle one, applying it liberally to her waffles. It was one of the sugary twang variants, but the one with the smaller level of twang. After all, she had to watch her figure, you never know what sugary twang could do to it. She just hoped it wasn't some weird test where Pyornkrachzark would judge her on her choice later, as in general when she visited people and in her own house, people only kept one flavor of syrup. To be fair he had already agreed to help, so she was probably just overthinking things at this point, but she did have quite a strange morning. Perhaps that was just another side effect of stumbling across a crime scene in front of your door. 

After thinking to herself for far too long, she realized Pyorn probably thought she was a little slow or something. After all, so far all she had done was sit down, pick a syrup, and apply it to the waffles. It was time to consume the waffles, in honor of Jeffrey, or something. Luxanna firmly grasped the strange rock fork in one hand, and the rock knife in her other hand. She worked meticulously on the waffles to slice and dice them, cutting up one waffle, chowing it down, then she moved to another. It was time for the next waffle. As its predecessor, it stood no chance versus Lux's blade skills, she was a pro in eating food. Whether it was for breakfast or for lunch or for dinner, she was eating food. Cutting it up and eating it. Millions of years of evolution had led up to this moment of waffle consuming, Lux knew she had to make her ancestors proud. When she finished her fourth waffle, she knew her ancestors were smiling down from the heavens on her glorious syrup pouring, her amazing hard-work of cutting the waffles into smaller pieces, and of course the most important part: using the fork to bring the waffle to her mouth. When it came to eating waffles, it was not just about the journey, the destination was just as valuable. 

It was time to head out on their quest to 33rd Macdonald Avenue. Luxanna wiped her mouth clean with a strange rock napkin, which was surprisingly soft. Maybe humans could learn more from rocks, or maybe her experience here was just an exception. In a sudden haste, she stood up, smacking both of her knees against the table with an audible groan. She did her best to play it off cool, but when you hear a loud rock giggling like a rock-schoolgirl, you already know that your coolness dropped by at least a solid 20 points. The table was surprisingly low to the ground for Pyorn to sit at, but maybe he tried to make it for his guests, or he just thought it would be funny to see people hit their knees.

Anyways, Luxanna had finally made it outside, alongside the muscle she had brought along, the not so great but decently mighty Pyornkrachzark. Bub was waiting outside, looking quite impatient and slightly upset. Lux definitely told him to stay outside and keep guard in case of any further instance, she totally did not forget to invite him inside for some delicious waffles. Together, the waffle-filled duo and the waffle-less bodyguard headed back from the outskirts of the city towards the center. They needed information, and Luxanna knew exactly the person to ask for help. 

Not believing the conspiracies shoved down her throat by the big-map industry, Luxanna led the three fellows-but-not-musketeers towards her contact. Plus, who would trust a map with a picture of an Apple on it? Alongside that, she had heard many complaints from people around her that they were very unreliable at best. When she saw the Googly-eyed fellow in the distance, Lux smiled, knowing that directions to this address would be in their hands in no time. And hopefully they would be at that destination soon too, as her feet were starting to hurt. 

Many whispers took place between Luxanna and the Googly-eyed fellow, but they were so quiet, that neither Pyorn or Bub had an idea what was actually being said. Somewhere in all the commotions and whispering, Lux showed him the address she was looking for, and he returned many whispers. No money was exchanged, but there was still a payment being made. She handed the man an envelope that she had brought with her in her jacket, but all it said was DATA. With a strange laugh practically out of nowhere, she bellowed loudly into the streets,

"33RD MCDONALD AVENUE HERE WE COME!"

After receiving strange looks from both the innocent bystanders and her two companions, Luxanna led the band of (not) brothers-and-Lux to their destination. They moved fast like the wind, but not too fast to look like those people that are trying to pass others on the sidewalk but then they sort of just awkwardly walk next to each other because they're not going fast enough to pass the people they want to pass so they just end up blocking the whole sidewalk and making it awkward for everyone involved. After a long and hard twenty minute journey, they were finally here. She double checked the street name and the numbering on the building, but she was very confident they were at the right place. 

The address had led them to what looked to be an abandoned factory, all worn down and very suspicious.You would think the address would lead to somewhere a little less generic, but it's not as if Luxanna had any choice in the matter; this was the address written on the paper, so this was the building they had to enter. She didn't know what to expect as she looked at the rusted fence in front of them, but she knew by now, they were ready for anything.