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Smiling while standing in front of the crowd, Richard pulled his blunt from his lips, turned around and drops his pants. Underneath the pants he had on a white leotard with the words, "Happy New Year" written in red glitter
"Yes I have much to be happy for! Even better yet I have my own Resolutions, however, I shall not reveal them. Most of you would probably be disturbed by what I have set my goals to be. Although, being as sneaky as I am, I have managed to snatch a large number of resolutions made by others within the community. But be warned, some may be unsuitable to virgin ears. Yes I must put a warning to my speeches to prevent any issues amongst the youthful minds.... PARENTS KEEP YOUR KIDS AT HOME, IT'S PARTY TIME FOR FUCKS SAKE!
New Years Resolutions
* Sammy - Quit smoking, More sex with "clean" women. Last years rash was a bit much.
* EvilClown_ - Attempt to be a nice clown. The "suffocating" children in a batch of cotton candy just isn't good for business amongst the birthday parties. Why I will never understand.
* RoRog - New work out plan involving Whatsername, a llama and a bucket of peanut butter. How I shall implement this I have yet to decide.
* Whatsername - Make Dick mine
* TylerDurden - FOR ONCE I WANT TO HAVE A SUCCESSFUL TAKE DOWN FOR FUCKS SAKE.
* TheWildCard - Instead of giving hand jobs for promotion, I'll try feet.
* Stranger - The name Stranger comes from the time I involved cottage cheese, a python, some miracle whip, a mule, some cherries and a car battery with jumper cables into a one night stand. Therefore, I shall work on my rep. Maybe next time i'll leave out the cherries.
* BrownEyedHandsomeMan - Replace the mirror in my room that has been dishonest to me this entire time.
* Joey_Cesari - Going to give up holding midget wrestling events in my basement. Lord I apologize.
* TheDude - Maybe I can be TheGuy this year?
* PhoenixRising - Finally getting to the top... Have been stuck rising forever now.
* Batman - Finding Robin, my sex life has gone to shit.
* wayneywoo - After a year of being called hankeypoo, especially around christmas, I think I'll change my name to Steven.
* Clipper - Sorry mafioso doesn't exist. Perhaps you can try searching.
* SwampSong - A new fucking tune to sing. Maybe something about Oceans this year!
* Branston - To get off this fucking boat! Being sea sick and doomed to the seven sea's just isn't right!
* _TheReaper_ - Going to quit eating fatty substances. I shall stick with Models instead.
* IllFated - To be healthy for once, why am I always so Ill? Thank you Mom for being a coke head!
* Lonerforareason - To no longer have a reason. I want to be loved!
* Killer_Jane - More anonymous sex, more rough sex, larger collection of various adult items, and did I say sex?
* Arigold - Start winning poker matches.
* Tom_Doogle - Stop with the excessive drinking! I'm sick and tired of waking up next to Ms_Molson and wondering why my ass is sore.
* BlackRose - Prick Dick some more. BlackRose baby! They don't call me Miss Horny Thorn for nothing!
* Selatcia - Lay off the milk and cheese. After the accident I had in the meeting the other day due to being lactose intolerant was enough for me.
* Jammin - After being caught in the ladies changing room sniffing panties that SyrupWaffle tried on prior was enough for my reputation. Therefore, I shall change my fetish to smelling Egwene's socks.
* TonyCorelli - I need to quit spending so much money at the casinos. I will spend it on cheap women instead.
* Luckeh - No resolutions this year. Well maybe something, lets change the obsession with apple pies and bedtime stories.. I think I'm over that now.
* JackSparrow - A new parrot! Davy stole mine after he found out the trick I played with him involving a sock and some lotion. Now they never leave his chambers.
* Teobaldo - Sleep more often. Crack kills.
* Sho - My resolution is to prove to Whatsername that I'm much more giving the Dick... They don't call me Shotime for nothing!
"Pretty scary if you ask me. If I forgot you please feel free to share your own!"
Lights a blunt and smiles to the crowd.
"The Cocky Type wishes everyone a safe and happy New Year! Each one of us look forward in seeing what the New Year brings! Hopefully more Dick, the women around here seem to love them some Dick from time to time."
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