La Crème Anglaise.

Welcome to the finest custard-based establishment this side of the pond.  Mixtures of milk and eggs thickened by heat have long been part of European cuisine, since at least Ancient Rome. Custards baked in pastry (custard tarts) were very popular in the Middle Ages and are the origin of the English word 'custard': the French term 'croustade' originally referred to the crust of a tart and is derived from the Italian word crostata, and ultimately the Latin crustāre. So, custard is here to stay.

We take the finest desserts and amplify them to levels not tasted before.  We have the finest custard chefs in America working hard to prepare silky, lump free goodness for your enjoyment.

Menu

Crème Anglaise Naturelle – A bowl of custard, as clean and as fresh as god intended.

Banana and Custard – The traditional classic.  Bananas are peeled and then sliced horizontally into thin slices and added to a bowl of custard, the custard is then heated until it is piping hot.

Banana and Custard Deluxe – A variation of our classic banana and custard but finished with chocolate buttons and dusted with cinnamon.

Bread and Butter Pudding - buttered bread scattered with raisins in an oven dish, nutmeg and vanilla custard baked in an oven and served.  For that extra level of creamy gooiness, why not add a serving of or premium crème anglaise?

Custard Tart – Small tarts filled with egg custard and baked.  Served with our premium crème anglaise for extra indulgence.

Queen of Puddings – Baked breadcrumb mixture, spread with our handmade strawberry or raspberry jam, topped with our velvet smooth meringues and served with our premium crème anglaise.

Spotted Dick – Suet and fruit pudding served with custard.  Done.

Avard had been busy losing all of the credits Taradiddle_ had given him and he needed somewhere to drown his sorrows. The obvious choice, a bar, was dismissed out of hand because Avard couldn't even afford a pint. He had a couple of coins in his pocket and no amount of rubbing them together seemed to make them grow. Instead, he was left to find another establishment where the menu was much cheaper.

He found La Crème Anglaise and he found it desserted - fy - which was odd because the menu and pricing seemed perfectly adequate. Giving the options his customary scrutiny and with the telling off he was doubtlessly about to receive from Eve, Queen of Puddings seemed the most appropriate option.

He looked around for a waitress.

"Excuse me?" He called leaning over the counter hoping someone was in the back. "Is Aomame around?"

The cream and vanilla on the stove was starting to bubble at the sides, things were about to get critical.  She had whisked her eggs and sugar and was just about to start adding the two together when one of the waitresses approached her.

Aomame there is someone here to see you.

She glanced up from the bowl

Can you describe this person.

The waitress looked out of the small window.

Oldish, a bit jowelly with wingtips and a moustache?

Aomame thought about people she knew; Taradiddle_ would dress up like a squirrel, the great Don Eve of Eve’s Eve crew had curly hair, didn’t wear much on top and didn’t have wingtips, Marlowe was a shadowy figure in a hat and AvardT was quite hippo-like in stature.

I can’t stop just this second otherwise I end up with Crème de Tammy.

The lesser known crème de Tammy was a lumpy mixture caused by a lack of attention or just no skill; something Aomame was keen to avoid.  As the mixture in the bowl started to thicken she called over her Spanish employee Jexux to stir while she looked out of the window.  She did not immediately recognise that it was AvardT.  He had been on a diet or changed his clothes or something.  It was not a bad look on him but was not what she was expecting.

Jexux, that is the Naturelle for the vegetarian vampires at table three.  Add some red colouring before it goes out, they like the extra touch.

She removed her apron and went to the front.

Good morning AvardT.  I have not seen you round here.  What can we do for you?

Taradiddle_ had been busy losing all of the credits he had not gifted to AvardT and he needed somewhere to drown his sorrows. The obvious choice, a bar, was dismissed out of hand because Taradiddle_, or Taradiddle_ as his friends called him, couldn't even afford a pint.

It wasn't long before he spotted AvardT through the store front, engaging into conversation with Aomame. It was the first time in what seemed like forever that Taradiddle_ had seen AvardT talking to someone that was not a middle-aged penis-flashing tramp. Taradiddle_ looked up to the sign of the store and decided to enter. His family had been renowned for excellence in custard-production, but he, himself, was not that talented with pans, whisks or aprons.

The girl behind the counter was, though. At least, the aron looked nice on her. He had no idea on her whisking qualities.
Is it a set menu? Taradiddle_ managed to ask her, not hiding he didn't often frequent a restaurant.
I mean, it may be a bit much on the custard, s maybe I could just select 2 or 3 of the items instead of all?

The girl looked a bit confused, but Taradiddle_ wouldn't have been Taradiddle_ if he would have cleared that up.
I'd like the Bread and Butter Pudding with Crème Anglaise Naturelle, the Banana and Custard.. And maybe I could have that partly as the Deluxe version? Hmm.. A little custard tart sounds nice, but I also really need to try the Queen of Puddings and Spotted Dick. Is either of those two namewise related to Don Eve of Eve's Don Eve Crew perhaps?

He calmly waited for the girl to finish writing down the order, and as she tried to bring up that it might have been a bit much for one, Taradiddle_ ignored her, turning around and moving towards the little bench near where AvardT and Aomame were now shouting at eachother.

Taradiddle_’s demands were looking like just plain greed and the poor waitress, her hand locked like a claw with all the writing demanded of her, handed the slip of paper over.  She had said it was not a set menu and that normal people were just picking one thing and eating it.  Sometimes, a couple might order three between the two of them if they were feeling particularly hungry but he had persisted.

Mr Taradiddle_, would you prefer a tasting menu of our delights rather than this order?  A scoop of each with a small jug of both the crème anglaise and the bog standard custard to add as you please?