The appointment had been set for three weeks after Catalina’s first formal meeting with Danny Fitzgerald. She scheduled a run to America to coincide with it, one that was happening earlier than her usual 4-6 week interval. 

There had been phone calls between the Rikers inmate and the Madrid drug princess, tentative at first. Danny had reached out to her a week after her visit with him, wanting to make sure that Catalina knew just where, and how, to find his boss and his family. Catalina already knew, of course, and the process had already been set in motion. While it was not her plan to intercede directly into Danny’s mother’s and sister’s lives, she had already spoken to the boss Derrick, and an agreement had been struck. Word of this simply had not reached Danny’s ears yet.

Talks on the remaining hour and a half of that phone call, and the calls that subsequently followed, steered away from business, and became increasingly personal. So much so that Danny had the phone room cleared out whenever Catalina was on the line. It was one of a scant few privileges that the man actually took advantage of himself, vehemently in fact, and whenever a Catalina Call was underway, of course the rumors flew as to what, exactly, Danny was up to in there.

The rumors never stopped on Rikers Island. It was one of the few forms of entertainment that the men had. When Catalina arrived for her meeting with the warden on that Tuesday, all it took was one trustee to notice. When that trustee passed along the word in the hallway to another trustee that a beautiful young blonde with a Spanish accent had arrived, the word spread like fire throughout the facility. It was not visiting day, and Catalina had banked on a successful meeting, hoping she’d be able to see Danny afterwards and surprise him with her unscheduled visit.

The meeting did in fact go well, but no surprise visit would be allowed on this day. The money that Catalina had brought was short of what the warden was asking, and she would not be able to make up the difference until the following day. Happy enough with this arrangement, she politely shook the warden’s hand, promised to return the next day with the remainder, and left Rikers knowing that she would be seeing Danny tomorrow, and from then on, on any day and time that either wanted. The only thing to really hamper them now was the fact that Catalina still lived in another country. 

Or so she thought.

The second trustee, the one who had been in the hallway and who had picked up the rumor that Catalina had been in to see the warden, was a man named Vertaci. Italian, of course, and all too ready to get at an otherwise insulated Danny Fitzgerald any way that he could. Within minutes, graphic details about Catalina in the warden’s office flew, growing larger and more sordid with each re-telling. 

Danny heard the first round of rumors, about the blonde prostitute the warden had entertained in his office. He paid them no mind, as he did with most rumors he heard on the inside. A call came for him not long after that, a Catalina Call in fact, and so it wasn’t until after his two-hour conversation with her that he returned to his cell. She was in New York, and would be coming to see him tomorrow. Danny could barely contain his happiness.

“Too bad she had to do what she did to get the privilege to do those same things to you,” his cellmate smirked from his bunk. 

“What did you say?” Danny’s mood dropped like an anchor. The rumor he’d heard earlier came back in all its lascivious detail, about the accented blonde in the warden’s office. Knowing what he knew now, that Catalina had been here and had indeed secured more visitation rights, hit him like a fist to the stomach. 

The next day, at 10am sharp, Catalina sat in the empty visitor’s room in a stunning floral sundress she’d purchased just for the occasion. A bag of fresh bakery pastries sat on the table in front of her, and the coffees she’d brought with them began to cool rapidly as the minute hand crawled from 10:00 to 10:05, and then to 10:10. She’d finished paying off the warden at 9:30, what was the holdup? When the door on the other side of the room opened, she stood.

“Come on Danny, you don’t even know what the fuck was even happening. You heard this from some fuckin’ idiot who’d no sooner tell you your own mother was a whore if he knew it bother you, and he knew it wasn’t true.” Kyle said to Danny. 

“If he said that he wouldn’t be breathin’ anymore.” Danny replied. 

The two were seated at the end of Kyle’s bed inside his cell. Ever since Catalina had come into Danny’s life, things had come and began changing. He’d moved into a different cell, a bigger cell with less of his enemies in the same block. He was allowed a lot more leeway with the things that he was able to do in the place. He had more leniency from the guards as well given both his model prisoner status, as well as the woman backing him. Right now though, he should be getting ready to go see her in the visitors room once more, but instead he found himself here in his confidant’s cell. 

He’d heard the rumors from a few different sources, mostly the guards, but some of the inmates were circulating them as well. Apparently, someone fitting Catalina’s description had gotten him most of his liberties, including another empty visitor room meeting by exchanging sexual favors with the warden himself. One of the warden’s highest ranking officers in the prison was the one to catch the woman leave his office during an unscheduled meeting. He arrived at the conclusion that something must’ve been going down as the warden didn’t ever have female visitors. Also given that this woman was walking around the prison like she owned the place, and getting favors for the Irish in there, they figured she must’ve been doing something to deserve the kind of pull she had. 

Some of the lower guards knew better, and kept their mouths shut when the rumors hit their ears, fearing the consequences. Others joined in and sang the rumors aloud to anyone who would listen, adding on their own embellishments as well. Once word reached Danny’s ears his first instinct was to disregard it. It was the Italians who began spreading it after all, and given their history with each other, he just assumed they were talking shit about it. In fact, it hadn’t been until he confronted and asked Louis about it, and the man couldn’t give a straight answer, that he had actually given the rumors some serious thought. 

Given that Danny was the biggest beneficiary of the preferential treatment, he had become the bud of the jokes. Apparently he was being considered the boy toy of the woman giving herself to the warden. Those were the nice references. Other ones would say that Danny’s woman was two timing him with the warden to keep him living the good life. Even Danny’s own people didn’t know what to make of the news spreading about the jail. Either way, Danny’s respect levels were plummeting, and he was unable to physically do anything about it. He couldn’t punch his way out of this problem, hell right now he couldn’t even strategize his way out of it. Which is why he was in Kyle’s cell right now, talking to the most reasonable man he knew, to figure out what exactly to do. 

Of course, as usual between the two of them, Kyle didn’t agree with how Danny was feeling, and was trying his best to knock down everything that he thought. Danny was doing the same, unable to see the logical sides of the other man’s arguments. At this point he just felt the need to do something, but he didn’t want to go in there and just explode on the woman. That was what he was trying to avoid doing. That’s why he’d been in here talking it out instead. 

“Danny, listen. Guards say things they THINK they see all the time, and this place right now is just like a damn school. Nobody is trying to get us back on lockdown right now after the last one. So a lot of posturing and shit talking is going on. The other factions are sour cuz we’re doing good right now, you think the guards aren’t the same way?” Kyle asked. 

Danny was tried imagining that maybe it was a few disgruntled guards getting together and talking shit or starting it, but the fact that Louis, who he saw had real fear of the woman, wasn’t shooting down these rumors, was the thing that was bothering them. 

“You might be right Kyle, if the biggest fuckin’ problem wasn’t that none of the guards have denied said rumor itself. Not even the ones I KNOW for a fact she has in her pocket. And it’s not like I can go ask the fuckin’ warden himself. Not that I could trust that weasley bastard to tell me the truth anyway.” Danny responded. 

Kyle heaved a sigh. They had been at this for about half an hour now. Around and around in the same circle. Kyle would make a point and Danny would shoot it down. Danny would counter, then Kyle would shoot him down for overreacting. It was Louis that would come and break the circle. He approached the cell with the open door and instantly the two men’s attention was on him. 

“Catalina’s here in the room Danny. She’s been in there for a little while. Are you gonna go see her or not?” Louis asked. 

Danny instantly grew agitated with the man. He balled up his fist tight and made like he was gonna jump up and get into his face. Kyle beat him to the punch. He was up and in front of Louis so quickly the guard took an instinctive step back and reached for his baton on his hip. Kyle stopped just in front of the guard. 

“Listen man, if he goes out this cell like he is now, he’s not gonna do any good for anyone. Give me like two minutes with him and then come back. He’ll either be ready to go or you can tell the girlie of the hour to go home for the day alright?” He propositioned. 

Louis looked at him for a few seconds, and seen the fuming Danny behind him. If he didn’t have so much on his mind, he’d have found the sight and the situation comical, and exactly what the boy deserved. Seeing as he would probably partially be involved of anything happening because of this situation, he couldn’t get into the mood of laughing at it. He gave the man in front of him a stiff nod, before turning on his heels and taking a short walk down the hall. 

Once he was gone, Kyle had turned back to Danny and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. He shot him an easy-going smile that was supposed to make the other man relax. It didn’t cause him to relax or to smile, but it did cause him to unclench his fist. 

“Listen D. This woman has given us the high life. She backing Derrick and the gang on the outside. She’s taking care of you and your family right now. Whatever she has done, however you may feel, the least you can do is go in there and calmly hear her out. That’s the least you can do don’t you think? For everything she’s done?” Kyle asked. 

Danny tried to think of a rebuttal, something that he can argue back with, and he was sure if he tried hard enough, he could have, but Kyle was still looking at him with the annoying smile on his face. Kyle honestly had a point. Even though these rumors and stories honestly angered him greatly, and made him feel foolish, he did honestly owe this woman much too much to not give her the opportunity to speak for her own self. He wouldn’t ever tell him that though, or he was sure he would never hear the end of it. 

Danny slapped Kyle’s hand off his shoulder and rolled his eyes at the man as he walked out of the cell. It was times like these that others were reminded that he was still only 18 years old, and not the fully grown man, he seemed to be most times. Danny left and walked down the hall to meet Louis, who was standing there waiting for him. 

“Let’s go.” Danny said simply. 

The man just shook his head and led him to the visitors room. The walk was familiar, but the feeling was not. He imagined this next visit to be very happy and for him to be feeling excited. Instead he was very much the opposite. Louis left him to walk behind him in silence, still not sure what to say or how to say anything. He didn’t want to set the man off with Catalina in the building, but she was in for quite a surprise when he got there. It didn’t take them long to arrive at the door, when they did Louis held it open for Danny to enter, when he did, he saw that Catalina was already standing there waiting for him. 

He looked at her and had to admit, she looked just as stunning as ever. She even brought in something to eat if the bag on the table was anything to go by. The fact she had brought a bag into the visitors room went to show that the guards didn’t really check her on her way in. That brought him back to the thoughts of the whispers about her and the warden. He just couldn’t believe she would do such a thing, but he remembered Kyle’s words about hearing her out and seeing exactly what was what, he did owe her that much for all she’d done for him. 

He walked over to her coldly, keeping his eyes focused solely on the bag on the table. He walked over and looked inside it to see it filled with pastries. He reached in and pulled one out, taking a bite. He had to admit it was good. He then looked into her eyes and could see the slight confusion on her face as to how he was acting. He didn’t greet her, and he was always told when he was unhappy he had an aura about him, whereas anyone who could slightly pay attention, could tell. There was a small piece inside of him that felt bad, told him he was overreacting, to be calm and try to talk this out. He was never good at listening to that small part of him when he was feeling like he was now. He would regret it on many occasions, and this would be one of the times he regretted it the most. 

“So, how’s the warden?” He asked offhandedly, as he took a seat and a bite out of the pastry in his hand.

Whatever Catalina had expected, it hadn’t been this. She watched as Danny entered the room and glanced over her stoically. He said nothing, showed nothing. After a long beat, he walked towards her table and took a look inside the pastry bag, then helped himself to one of the doughnuts within.

“How’s the warden?”

What an odd question to ask. Wouldn’t he know better than she? It dawned on her then that he of course had made the connection by now, that she had arranged for this surprise visit. Why wasn’t he happy about it? What had changed since last night’s phone call?

Catalina circled around the table to where he was seated. Danny wouldn’t so much as look at her now. Boldly, she reached a hand out to trace her fingers through the side of his short prison haircut. He still didn’t move, but he hadn’t smacked her hand away, which was a good sign. 

“Daniel?” He ignored the doughnut for a moment and finally looked up at her. What she saw in his eyes was pain. Why was he in pain, and why was he looking at her like she was the source of it? All she had done was arrange for-

The color drained out of her face then, and she dropped her hand from him and took a step back. Part of her wanted to leave, but a larger part of her never wanted to leave. She circled back around the table and sat across from him. 

“I see. You think I opened my legs for that man.” Danny was looking at her hard, now. “Why would you entertain such thoughts? You think I could not arrange for these visits otherwise? I was short of what the warden demanded, yes, but I returned this morning with the rest. Cash was the only thing exchanged, Daniel. Not bodily fluids. I am saving myself for the right man. I had thought that man was you,” she said, looking away. She wanted so badly to cry, but there was no way Catalina Rey was going to allow herself to do so, not here, not now.

“I suppose this is my fault. Our phone calls, the ones that last for hours, and we’re alone in our rooms and we speak to each other…..the way we do. You must think I do that with all the men. You would be incorrect in that assumption,” she said quietly, then stood up again. The urge to leave had won. 

“Derrick unloaded the kilo quickly, and your family is comfortable. One of my runners told me of the neighborhood they live in, and it sounds unsafe. Con su permiso, I would like to arrange for them to move to a better area. Derrick has also expressed interest in dealing my cocaine, so 5 kilos will be here next month for him to unload,” she said, turning to walk towards the door.

“And don’t worry, one of my brothers will make the trip on my behalf. I would hate to be accused of fucking your boss as well,” she said, the bitter little words slipping out before she could stop them. A tear slipped out soon after.

“Wait!” He shouted. 

The words were out of his mouth before his brain could fully even process everything that was going on. In fact his brain wasn’t being used much at all if he were honest with himself. All it was was doing right now was calling him stupid, and letting him know that one of the greatest things to happen to him, was about to walk out the door. If he let that happen, he knew things would change, go back to how they were maybe. Back to when he was so angry all the time, so upset. Back to when he had very little. He struggled with the idea but it wasn’t the main thing that was affecting him. His heart hurt, he wasn’t pleased with how this was all going down. 

The look on her face, the emptiness in her voice, what she was actually saying once he had caught up enough to realize what it was she was saying, it all hurt him. He walked in here and had already passed judgement, which was exactly what he was afraid he’d do. He wasn’t the logical sort, not the type to think out things before he said or did them. Even though he had the talk with Kyle right before coming here, he still managed to find a way to fuck things up, and this is what he was afraid of. He was afraid of fucking things up. He’d never been in a situation like this before. He guessed this was what growing up was about. 

He walked up to her where she had stopped. She didn’t turn around, but she was at about the midway point in the room. Halfway from the table to the door. Danny’s emotions were a mess, and he wasn’t used to dealing with them, but for her he’d try. He’d have to try, because he wasn’t okay with her walking out the door with things being like this. Especially because of his own stupidity. He cursed himself as he walked up behind her. He hesitantly placed a hand on her shoulder, afraid of how she would react. She didn’t, at least not outwardly. She was like him in a lot of ways recognized, except she was a lot more steeled. She was the calculating sort, she thought through a lot of things in advance before she did them. She was able to figure out what exactly he was upset about without him having to say a single word. It would’ve been an amazing feat to see if he wasn’t at the center of it. 

He let out a loud sigh before he began to speak. 

“I’m sorry Cat, I know it’s not fair, or right, but I’m just no fuckin’ good with shit like this.” Danny said frustratedly. 

“I’ve never had no one come along and scoop me up and give me all the things I could ever want and ask for, without having to ask, take, or earn it in some kinda way. Then you come along, like a guardian angel and I guess it’s just made me fuckin’ stupid or somethin’, I don’t know. It doesn’t help that I can’t do anything in here.” He complained.  “Come, sit back down, and let me try to do this calmly and reasonably like I was advised.” 

He gently guided her back toward the table, and he was relieved when she didn’t resist. All he could do now was try to explain to her where he was coming from. He knew he was in the wrong, so if she decided at any point during or after his explanation to get up and leave he had no one but himself to blame. Once she sat down, he then sat down beside her and let out another hefty sigh. She hadn’t said a word nor had she looked at him. He hadn’t looked at her either, but his was out of shame instead of anger like it was before. He let out another hefty sigh and ran his hands through buzz of his hair. 

“One of the guards, one of em probably working with those mob fools, said he caught you, or someone that looks like you, coming out the warden’s office. That’s where I hear it started, I didn’t even hear it from the fuckin’ guy, but as it continues to be spread more and more through the building like a piece of school gossip, the story get more and more expanded on, to the point where people are lookin’ and laughin’ at me about the shit and I can’t do a damned thing about it. If I was able to I’d fuck em all up until they couldn’t laugh no more, but Derrick said no fighting, no incidents. Do what I can to be good, I have to be good so I come home soon, and not do the full 15.” Danny explained dejectedly. 

“I tried to ask Louis, I tried to ask people that know of you, people who think about shit more logically than me, who would know more about this than me, people that are just a smidge more trustworthy, and no one say nothing. Believe me Cat, I know I shouldn’t be listening to it or paying the shit any mind, but I just didn’t know what the fuck to do, and I’m sorry. I still don’t.” He said the last part in a low voice, just above a whisper. 

He couldn’t tell if he was getting through or not. He didn’t know if he was just making things worse or if he was potentially making things better. He hoped she was listening, but she had yet to move or give him a sign otherwise, if he had been able to reverse the damage he’d already done or not. Fearing the worst he decided he needed to try one more time. He reached out and gently took her hands and held them in his own, tightly. Not too tight to hurt but tight enough she’d have to pull with some force to get out of the grip. He looked her deep in the eyes. 

“Look Cat, you’re the most intelligent person I know. You’re one of the stronger ones I know too, to do what you do, and do it well. I know deep down inside that what they weren’t saying wasn’t true, and I think not being able to do anything about it or get involved with it caused me to come in here and make an ass out of myself. I know I fucked up okay? I’m sorry. You’re smart enough to know that I care for you too much that having to hear that kinda stuff and not be able to do anything about it at all, it fucks me up inside, and I’m not the best at figuring out what to do in that situation. If you forgive me Cat, I won’t care about what anyone else says. 

I won’t care about the fucking jail time, if they disrespect you with these rumors anymore, I’ll break their fucking jaws, and do everyday of the 15 for you. And of course if you tell me anything isn’t true I’ll listen, and if I have a worry or a thought about something, I’ll just ask not assume. Just please Cat, forgive me.” He pleaded. 

He’d never felt or made himself so vulnerable in his life. He wasn’t thinking or feeling embarrassed at all for some reason. He didn’t know much about embarrassment, he’d never do anything he felt ashamed of. Everything he’d ever done in his life, he was fully committed to. This was included. He put his heart and soul into what he said and prayed like hell it would be enough to convey his feelings to the woman. He looked into her eyes waiting for her to give him any kind of sign one way or another.

It was easy for her to think like a person on the outside, because that was what she was. She’d never served time, and as Danny laid it all out for her, things became so obviously clear that it was nearly laughable. It was a whole different mentality when you were doing a stint, and once she’d heard it spelled out for her, she had no anger or hurt left to hold on to. Would she herself have thought any differently had the tables been turned? 

They hadn’t laid claim to each other, not out loud. They may as well have, though. By now it would simply have been a case of stating the obvious. Danny had not attacked her when he’d entered the room, though. Not physically, not even verbally. Her inner voice gave a little chuckle. Have I ever steered you wrong, Catalina? I knew the totality of this man’s worth the minute we saw him. This is him. He is it. This is the one.

Catalina shoved the inner voice, and all its bragging, away. She was looking at Danny’s hands, her hands clasped inside them. He was sitting next to her on the same side of the table, and this was the longest they’d ever spent this close together. There was no room to move any closer to him, so she simply leaned a bit to the side and rested her head on his shoulder.

“I forgive you, Daniel. This is an odd problem to have, but now that it’s happened, surely we can find a way to avoid it in the future? There’s no telling what they’re saying in there even now. You’ll go back to your cell to hear all about the terrible, wonderful things I was doing to you in here,” she said, then rolled her head a bit so that she could look up at his face. They exchanged a long look at each other as two minds filled with thoughts on what all those terrible, wonderful things could be, and then Catalina sat up straight again and pulled one hand free so that she could reach for one of the coffees on the table. It was completely cold now, but she drank it anyway. When she’d gotten control of herself again, she set the cup down and replaced her hand where it had been before.

“My brother Marco must still make the next New York trip. Our Canadian runner is ill and cannot fly, and Marco is too inexperienced to deal with the distributors yet. I will make the Canadian run, and he will bring the next load to Derrick, who will be expecting him.” The disappointment was evident in her words. 

“I arrange for more visitation with you, and have to skip one. This is painful to me.” She wanted to say more, a lot more, but despite the romance-novel levels their phone calls had reached, they had not broken any intimacy barrier in person. This was it. Two young people sitting awkwardly on a bench, holding hands. Not for the first or last time a number popped into her head.

5475.

5475 days. Danny had that many more days to serve. Catalina would wait for him, of course. There was never any question of that. There would be hundreds of visits, thousands of phone calls, and countless kilos transported from Spain to the United States before he was a free man, but she would be there waiting for him when the gates opened and he was released, a middle-aged woman of 40 whose life could finally begin.