SINGER walks out of his little house in New Orleans and centers himself in the middle of the street. He smiles and looks around at all the people. What in the world was he about to do? He didnt even have an idea. Oh wait yes he did.

Good day to all of you Ladies and Gentleman i hope you are all feeling well. I have a question and possibly a solution to all of you. This mostly concerns the women however im more than sure a few men have had to deal with this problem. Now let me begin my little infomercial.

SINGER digs in his bag and pulls out a letter. He smiles and unfolds it setting it up on the wanted poster of Anthony_Bellarosa behind him.

Have you been pestered lately? Has someone been talking to you and you arent to fond of them? Do they follow you to every city you go to and pick at your pockets? Perhaps you refer to you obsessed lover as nothing more than a STALKER. Well i have the solution for you then. You see this bad paper right here i have tons of them. This is called THE REJECTION LETTER. Yes you must shout it outloud. This is how it works. Say someone is bothering you at the local diner in New Orleans. You dont want to be rude now do you? Of course not so what do you do? You smile at the person and hand them THE REJECTION LETTER!

SINGER smiles and hands a copy of THE REJECTION LETTER!to a girl in front of the audience.

Its just that easy. You let the person know that it just is not going to be working between the two of you. That no matter how much they bother you or pursue their quest of love you really dont want anything to do with them. It lets the young mafioso down easily and it gives them a possible way to figure out what they have done wrong. THE REJECTION LETTER is free of charge and can be used constantly. If you run out of copies just ask SINGER for more. I love helping my sisters and occasional brother to shield themselves from stalkers.

Sees a man in the front row raise his hand. SINGER calls on the young man who begins to tell SINGER of all the misfortunes he is having with ladies. SINGER smiles.

You my friend need to go and hang out with Don Richard Wad. He gets every lady. He does not get rejected nor will he ever be rejected so im sure you can learn a thing or two for him. However if you do recieve THE REJECTION LETTER it is not the end of the world, immediately contact SINGER and begin to ask me for help and I too will teach you all of the ways on how to pick up a girl without being extremely creepy.

SINGER pulls out a list from his back pocket and begins to read it allowed.

So...THE REJECTION LETTER is a very promising way to get people to leave you alone, however sometimes people fall through the cracks so that is why i have come up with a few ways to solidify the reason for others to hit on you. I will read them now.

REJECTION MOVES


1) Speak another language to your stalker. How can they talk with someone that does not speak the same language to them?


2) Start speaking in random riddles and send them quotes. They wont understand you at all. They will stop talking with you because you are way to complicated.


3) Do not acknowledge their presence. Just pretend that they are not even there.


4) Inform the person that you have a secret attraction to Captain Jack Sparrow.


5) Inform the person that from this point on you will only respond to them if they send you money. Surely they will begin to run out and stop talking to you.

In closing i would just like to say this was dedicated to all my sisters. You all know who you are and hopefully this will end or at least get rid of a few of those that pester all of you.

SINGER smiles handing out THE REJECTION LETTER!

This letter may definitely prove useful in the future!

4) Inform the person that you have a secret attraction to Captain Jack Sparrow.

I tried this with DavyJones and it didn't help. It so happens that we both did.

Anthony Slips the rejection letter into his pocket

This leaves me not having to do as much work thanks SINGER.

Anthony joggs away around the corner...

Only Singer would turn rejection into a business. I love #5.

Listerning to the rejection moves, listed by SINGEr, Jack agreees

"Number 4 is so true my friend, when a woman finds out that I have an attraction to myself, usually they stop talking to me! I am forever being poked and followed by people wanting to get in my pockets, i have a feeling i will run out of these quickly"

Taking a whole bunch, Jack continues with his buisness, which is the half empty bottle of rum he left on his desk.

"Very helpful Singer."

Bellarosa said as he removes the wanted poster carrying his picture. He then takes a flyer.

"I'm sure Stewie and Ridge will benefit from this."

Grinning wide, Fox hugs her friend SINGER and offers a thank you.

"You know I love this, I'm sure this will be of great use to many...for ones passing it out and for ones recieving it. Keep that mind at work and you will go far."

Lobo walks to a SINGER pokes him with a stick and run away on safe distance

Us stalkers are people too you know?

Do we not bleed when you shoot us for pestering you? Do we not cry when you slap us with that restraining order? Do we not run when you sic your bodyguards at us?

Points at SINGER with his stick

PAPARAZZO ON YOU AND YOUR KIN!

Runs away in darkness.

I just have to say how great all these replies have been to the thread.

SINGER takes a breath from laughing and hands lobo a copy of THE LETTER OF REJECTION. Here you go brother go use it on someone.

5) Inform the person that from this point on you will only respond to them if they send you money. Surely they will begin to run out and stop talking to you.

thats the one for me.. Very helpful Singer.

Florrie makes a mental note to walk a little further back when she stalks Jack Sparrow. She seen the number of leaflets he picked up and certainly didn't want to receive one of them.

Stranger happens to come across the rejection letter.

2) Start speaking in random riddles and send them quotes. They wont understand you at all. They will stop talking with you because you are way to complicated.

I just have to say I've been using this one long before the rejection letter came out. It works wonderfully and has never let me down.

Smiling she grabs Florrie and drags her off for a drink somewhere nearby.