Basically, I'm going to run you down on a little story of my life, the life of Revan; the life of a God on wheels. Yes, on wheels. I invented that by the way, just one of the many truths you will learn in these god forsaken pages. This is my story and I am Revan the story teller, you're in for a treat. You are the dog, I am the treat, so it is to say that you're in for me. Revan. The treat. Anyways, lets stop talking boogily moogily and get down to business.

Business

With

Me

Revan

Revan

The

Storyteller.

Okay, ignore that, ignore it good. What you're going to learn is going to make you spin in disbelief and then probably just not even. Not. Even. So, yeah, I'm sitting there with my pet doog and we're talking about what we should do today. Doog, which is a marmoset from France or Italy, somewhere in Europe; he says to me "Hey, Revan, how about we join the Mafia?" He of course says this in his tongue of mamorset, it's fascinating stuff, I'll tell you. The things we talk about, me. Revan. The storyteller.

So, we go to this lighthouse and a few brave young italian looking people come at me, so I get pretty upset. They come at me, bro. This is when I lose it. I punch them both and end up throwing them in the river, when the mob boss see's this, he pretty much invites me in to his light house, he's very eccentric and enjoys my doog, we both tell stories of our life and then he invites me to the Mafia, as this is how it works.

Before I get carpal tunnel, as I'm used to clicking... the lights... to change them... so that cars can cross safely, because this isn't a game, it's the Mafia, or something. You don't click in the mafia. You just can't. Unless you're the clicker, as I am. Anyways, before I get sick or something cause of dissentary or some other 1920s disease, I'm going to end this short and so I join the Mafia and that's were I am today. In the mafia. With just myself. Revan. The storyteller.

I was going to make this longer, but my notes exploded and they're now lost in the anus of time.

Some other exciting shit will come later. (BASICALLY WATCH OUT FOR PART TWO)

Well that was interesting, and strangely enjoyable (much like coitus with Altidore or so I'm told).

Wow... and I never even knew they had lighthouses near rivers. Guess it's not just the seaside that has all the fun.

Katie had always had a thing for Revan. He didn't come around much, so her feelings never matured past a crush, but when he did. *swoon There was no way of avoiding it, so she didn't fight it.

She had stumbled upon his epic voice as it whispered towards her like sweet wind chimes through the back alley. Katie picked up her pace, she had just come from running a prostitution ring, and went towards the angelic sound. Once arriving and seeing his face she fainted with all the joy that bubbled into her heart.

This was one of the finest stories I've ever heard told. Seriously. It was the kind of story you would get if you had a room full of monkeys typing for an eternity but those monkeys were trained by Albert Einstein and touched by the hand of God himself.

I eagerly await part two. I can only hope it's as good as part one. Which, of course, it will. Because it's Revan. The Storyteller.

I don't exactly know what to think after reading this. But, whatever drugs you are on, i want some too.

I have to say a much better story teller than my 3rd grade teacher. Nice history?

Keep clicking my friend! haha

Very enjoyable. Would love to read more from you.

Thank you for all the kind words that I ignored, my next produuuuction will be tomorrow. You'll all love it.

If you don't... you're not very smart.