He'd allowed Kina to clean up in the bath she'd been using upon arrival, but now that everyone was clean and sated it was time for her to move to a room better suited for her... Condition. Knocking lightly at her door, he waited for her to call out.

"It's open..."

He entered quietly and shut the door behind him.

"My dear Tsukina. I know you've grown quite fond of this room, but with the current affairs I thought it best you move to a room ready to accommodate your new state of being. Do please follow me. We can have the staff gather your things and move them."

He didn't wait for her to answer, instead choosing to leave the room and walk down the hallway. Several doors down, he opened one and walked inside... His shoulders drooped as he looked over their youngest brother's old room. "Oh... Sullivan. I do miss you more than others. You were supposed to be here. I fear you would have stolen dear Kina's heart from Hiram, though." He chuckled as he surveyed the room, inspecting closer.

Everything was as it had been since they'd built it. Four post, black canopy bed with matching black and gold sheets. Wrought Iron trim work around the windows and running along the baseboards. Black walls with golden musical staffs flowing along it like sheet music blowing in the wind. Perhaps the notes along the walls were actually a song, perhaps not... Only a musician would be able to know. A grand piano, of course black like the rest of the room, sat in a dark corner opposite a desk with scientific tools; most of which were for chemistry. Next to the desk there was a small scaled version of a Tesla coil... The first Sullivan had ever made. Christian smiled as he spun and took the room in. It was irrevocably, unmistakably -PERFECT- for Sullivan.

Filled with sadness, Christian sat on his brother's bed and covered his mouth with his hand. How long had it been since he'd stepped foot in the room? Since before Sullivan's death... Since his brother had walked away from their life. Christian had vowed to not drag him in, per his wishes. There were, however, days he'd wish he'd done so... "Did I do what's right?" he questioned quietly to himself, not noticing that Tsukina had paused at the door to enter...

Kina didn't need to ask. She smelled it. And it broke her heart. 

Everything in the room had that familiar, old-world vanilla perfume that she was so fond of. But in this room... and in this room only... it was alive. 

The recognition wrecked through her like the bullet the night before. This was Sullivan's room. 

It made perfect sense. It was outfitted to accommodate her because it had been made for another. Glancing around the room, a sad smile tickled the corner of her lips. It almost felt as if she could know him a little just by looking at the room. He had that macabre gothic flair that Hiram was so fond of. Intelligent. An eye for the sciences... but an artist. Cutting edge in his field, no doubt... probably to his detriment. 

Her eyes traced the notes on the wall and in her mind, she heard the notes billowing away... just as he'd intended. For a long moment, she didn't move from the door. It felt like an intrusion... like the desecration of something holy. But... this was to be her room now. So... slowly... she inched her way to Christian's position on the bed.

Reaching down, she ran her fingers through his hair, hugging him close so that his cheek rested against her belly as she teased his short waves with tender caresses. "I'm so sorry," she whispered softly. Pulling away, she gently nudged his chin until he met her newly-striking gaze, "But believe me when I say that you did exactly what was right. For me... and for him." Petting his face she gave him a bittersweet smile, "That you bear this pain and this responsibility speaks to that." 

Looking from Christian's sad blue eyes back to the gold staves on the wall, Kina nodded softly. "Let me share a secret with you..." she whispered softly, moving to the grand piano in the corner of the room. Lifting the cover, she carefully pulled the bench out and fluffed the long cotton skirt on the almost comically suitable dress that she'd worn for Hiram today. 

Staring up at the walls she whispered a singular, "Please help me," before laying into the keys... softly at first but growing and flowing as her eyes traced the golden notes Sullivan had left behind. Sitting there... in that room... in that dress... vials of potions and black lace... in that moment she truly seemed unutterably perfect. She fit. ... in ways he'd never expected. 

Soft piano music echoed down the hallway, shaking the ghosts from the walls like the shadow of some half-remembered dream or long forgotten nightmare. They all heard it. And for a moment, time in the castle stood still. Everyone froze, every head in the castle instinctively popping up in unison like melancholy marionettes as Kina stirred the past to life. 

For a moment, she lost herself in the music... having forgotten how liberating it could be to play after years of silence. In her mind, the melody was joined by the echo of other instruments... violin, classical guitar, beautiful voices filling in the empty spaces with an entire orchestra of passion and conviction. The song was like a panacea for her soul. And she smiled in an eerily familiar way as she gave herself over to it; allowing Christian... for just one moment... an intimate glimpse into his brother's truth through the musical messages he'd left etched onto the walls of their family home. 

She would have made Sully proud in that moment... so enraptured in his song that she didn't even notice as the other brothers filtered into the room like hollow, drunken sailors drawn by the melody of a siren at sea. It was beautiful, and sad, stirring and freeing... bittersweet in that oh-so characteristically Sully kind of way that had suited him so. And, on Kina... it was perfect. She was PERFECT.

Sully's Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IbYG30ucL7Q

Christian had moved to stand with his brothers, and all three of them watched, silently, as she followed the music around the room. There wasn't a dry eye in the room as she finished, staff behind the brothers included. Christian whispered to them...

"I'm sorry, I thought about it, and this is the only other room suited for us. I was going to tell you after getting her mov-"

Hiram's hand on Christian's shoulder silenced him.

"I'd had the same thought and was going to mention it..." He looked at Sal, who simply nodded. Hiram continued... "It was a good decision."

Christian nodded and then raised his head, sniffling back a seemingly runny nose and wiping his face. "Thank you for that, Kina. It was absolutely beautiful. I haven't heard that played in almost twenty, maybe more, years... When he was composing it."

He sighed, "Sullivan called it 'Who Wants to Live Forever'. He never wanted this life. I know you and he talked often, Hiram..." He turned to his oldest brother, who hung his head.

"Aye, I told him to run and live his life... That he didn't want this. The sadness, the death that constantly surrounds us..."

Christian chuckled. "Did I ever tell you he came and asked for my permission to be released from the familial vows? That's why none of us were invited to his weddings. He ran the funeral home here, but when he left, I granted his permission to be free of any vow or commitment to the family. In exchange, we'd have no interaction with him so no chances to bring him back into this life." He sighed again. "I wonder if it was our lack of presence in his live that opened way for his death..."

Hiram chuckled and squeezed Christian's shoulder. "I promise you it wasn't... Sullivan and I never stopped talking."

Christian chuckled and looked between the two. "Neither did we..."

Sal shrugged. "I even went and visited him..."

Christian just shook his head. "We're horrible, terrible brothers, you know that?" He laughed, obviously joking.

"Tsukina, thank you for that song." By then, the staff had scattered and it was just the four of them. "You've brought our brother back to life today. It bring a heaviness on our hearts, but also it lets us remember him as he was for us. So full of life, so full of wonder. His energy was literally electrifying. I miss him, but I'm am grateful he is not stuck in eternal torment. That's exactly what this would have been for him..."

Hiram smiled. "Yes, and he would have been impressed and honored by your playing now, as well. Honestly, I thought he'd returned for a moment. You've shaken this house, Tsukina, in the short amount of time you've been here. I never saw this future because I couldn't see beyond your mortality... I'm curious what the world has to offer for our family now that you've joined..."

Sal chuckled and entered the room. "Play another? Music is such a sweet release. I wish I could play, but I've only mastered the art of making noise." He smirked and played a few notes on the piano in a perfect minor scale. He could play, he was being modest... But he'd never attempted Sullivan's song, and never would have. It was beyond his level. Which meant Kina was far beyond his ability as a pianist.

"She should rest, Sullivan. She's had a..." Christian coughed. "Oh. Oh dear, I'm so sorry Salvatore." Lost in a moment, Christian simply spun, apologizing again, and walked away down the hall...

Hiram looked between Kina and Sal. "Salvatore, she needs her rest. We should leave her to that... I'm sure Christian will come back to check on her shrotly and to make sure she is settled in properly."

Sal nodded and made his way to the door. "You can play for me any time, Tsukina. I'd really like it," he added as he walked out. Hiram turned and looked at her. "Please. Make yourself as comfortable as you can. If you need anything, Christian headed toward his study. I'll be upstairs in the pool room. The table room, not the swimming room." He chuckled. "I imagine Sal will be in the den meditating or reading."

He bowed his head and winked. "Just call. We'll hear you."

With that, he left her in her new room as staff began to bring in her items. Amelia smiled and curtsied. "Where would you like everything, Madam?"

Christian closed the door to his study and slowly made his way across the long room to his desk and plopped down in his chair. Opening a drawer on his desk, he pulled out the same decanter from the night prior, along with a new glass. He stared at the hole burned in his Persian rug and the cigar that still sat there, half ash and half cigar. His hand rested on the decanter, but it took him a few moments before he took a deep breath and pulled himself out of his mind. Returning his gaze to the liquor, he poured himself a glass and leaned back in his chair. Bourbon would go down well tonight... To much. Everything had been to much... Kina being shot, him turning her, memories of Sullivan... Calling Salvatore, Sullivan... Accidentally admitting he loved Tsukina, and knowing he hated himself for what he'd done to her. For what he'd subjected her to. A lifetime of misery and eternal suffering...

Then again, there were the good things, right? She'd be with them, forever... They'd be able to see the world together, all of them, without worry of 'When'... Because when didn't matter when you were immortal. Immortality had it's bonuses. He chuckled softly. They never grow old, just older... That was a bonus, right? Sickness? Didn't exist for them. Pain? Didn't last too long with the accelerated healing. Love? Hell, if he loved her then that never had to change, right? And if she loved him they could be, forever?

What about Hiram though? His thoughts were everywhere as he worried more about his brothers and Tsukina than his own feelings inside. He took a much needed drink from his glass. "Come in..." he called just softly enough to the person outside the door. They hadn't knocked, had even walked up silently... Yet he still knew... Of course he did, It was Christian.

Of course he knew. There was never a place she could be that he wouldn't know now... if he felt her the way she felt him. Or maybe that was one-sided? She didn't know. All of a sudden there was so much that she didn't know. And it made what she DID know all the more meaningful. 

Silently Kina slipped through the door, pulling it closed and locking it behind her. As his consigliere, she had that right. 

She didn't say anything. Opting to simply sit silently at his feet for a while instead. Any normal day, he'd argue that they should move to the couch or pull up a chair. But the floor was solid... unmoving, unshakeable. And she kind of needed that right now. For a long while, she simply rested her head against his knee and stared wordlessly into the fire Amelia had prepared. 

She wasn't entirely sure why she was even here. He probably needed to be alone. But he certainly didn't feel like it. And she did not want to be alone right now. So while she struggled to find anything to say... indeed to decide if there even WAS anything to say... she simply sat with him.

Nuzzling him lightly, she breathed in his scent... noting for the first time just exactly how different it was from Hiram: layered, crisp, bold... with the slightest metallic hint. And as it settled over her, she whimpered softly. "Should I go," she asked softly, her blue eyes shining up at him... almost begging him to say no. Though he knew she would understand if he said yes. 

Yes... His mind said yes. She should go. It was absolutely imperative that she go. He needed to be alone to his thoughts. Alone in his own mind. But what came out, barely audible...

"Please don't..."

He reached down with his free hand and placed it atop her head, caressing her dock locks with a tenderness she'd probably not expected. "There's so much we need to discuss, so much that needs to be addressed. What we do, what we don't, what's expected of you now that you're one of us... What's going to happen to you as we venture into the world..."

He frowned, the events of the last day drawing his facial features out making him look older than he should. He was physically exhausted and for once, it showed on his face.

"This is my fault... You're like this because I made you come here. I got you involved... Out of love, I should have let you die... It would have been a better end than you'll get now."

He closed his eyes and leaned back in his seat.

"Misery loves company, I suppose... Hell knows I've had my fair share of it. I'm so sorry, Tsukina. This shouldn't have been the life for you. I can't change what I've done... Aside from killing you myself to release you from this world. But I... I can't do that. I'm to selfish to do that."

He sighed. "I'm sorry..."

Twisting to kneel, veritably in his lap, Kina scowled at him. "Don't you dare. Don't you dare, Christian Balthazar Black," she hissed his middle name with a weight he'd never heard... something he imagined normal children might hear from their mother. "This is not your fault. If you want to blame someone, I MIGHT let you get away with blaming Hiram. But I. Made. This. Choice." Shaking her head slightly, she cupped his face with both hands, "I CHOSE to be here... because I wanted to. And I CHOSE to stay Because. I. Wanted. To. And my choice is the same now as it was then. I don't ever want to leave you. It's that simple." 

Brushing the hair back from his face, she smiled, her blue eyes sparkling, "Don't pretend letting me die would have been an act of love. Don't pretend saving me was selfish. You can lie to yourself all you want. But not to me... THAT'S why you brought me here. Because I see you. Letting me die would have been easy. Helping me live... that's the real sacrifice: struggling with your choice, carrying the responsibility, loathing yourself for it. You saved me... sacrificed your peace of mind and your pride and whatever other shit you've got going on in that beautiful fucking head of yours... and you saved me. And whether we want to admit it or not... that was ultimately out of love." She trailed off for a moment, her eyes searching his gaze, "And that's why he helped me stay." 

Lowering her face, she stared down at his shoes for a moment. She hadn't meant to say that. 

"I know... that I can't possibly imagine what 100 years of losing loved ones feel like. But I'd rather bear that burden with you than live one short, empty lifetime without you. I would rather be a ghost, drifting by your side as a condemned soul, than enter heaven without you... all of you," she added it as an afterthought, tacked on quickly as she continued, "For as long as you live, I will never be a lonely spirit. And I pray that... if you'll let me... I may make it so you are not either."

Sighing heavily, she took his hand, "I know what life is like on the other side of this. And if fate offered it 1000 times, I'd make the same choice. Always. And yes... it will be hard, and it will be ugly and it will be miserable. But I will have company," she smiled and chuckled teasingly, "And for every shitty, painful, ugly moment... there will be moments of joy and bliss and happiness beyond measure. That's just life, my love." She didn't correct it as he had; choosing instead to simply let it hang as she continued, "No matter what the three of you believe, you don't have misery in any greater measure... you just have more LIFE. And now, you have me to share it with. So tell me, how is that a bad thing?" 

Taking a deep breath, she settled back onto her haunches, resting her head on his knee once again. "You saved me because you're not a coward. You were willing to sacrifice your own happiness... for me... because I asked you to. And that's what love is. So don't be sorry." 

She wanted to turn around and look at him, to read his face and gauge his expression. But she knew if she did... there'd be no going back. So she simple pressed her cheek to him tighter, chanting softly in her head: don't turn around, don't turn around, don't turn around. She tried her best to keep it to herself... but it would be no surprise if the others heard. Don't. Turn. Around. 

Sighing heavily, her voice suddenly echoed with all the tiredness that he felt, "So, yes. I imagine there are a great many things that we need to discuss and address." She added in a soft whisper, "As he said there would be..." 

"So where do we start?" Raising herself from the floor, Kina moved to the fire. Sliding the armchairs back and away, she fished the throw pillows and afghan off the couch; orchestrating a small pallet on the rug in front of the fire. Holding her hand out, she beckoned for him to join her. "Come... we can rest while we chat." 

Christian rolled himself forward in his seat, resting his arms on his legs. "Heh... You make it sound almost kind..." He downed his drink he'd poured, setting the glass on the desk, and pushed himself up. "Maybe I'm too hard on myself, but it's gotten this family where it is now. So I won't feel sorry for that at least. It's going..." he paused and his words tapered off. He stared into the fire for a moment before continuing. "It's going to be hard for me to not feel like this is my fault. Even if you wanted and asked for it, Kina."

He joined her on the pillow pallet and laid back.

"Who is this -he- you keep referencing? That's one place to start... Otherwise? I don't rightfully know, for once. Hiram says you have a gift of life, as in the gift of giving or taking. Do you feel that is correct?" He shifted himself on to his side so that he could look at her, his hand reaching out and touching her face.

"You're a kind, endearing soul. Much like my brothers... I wonder if this is why you haven't been brought here. Perhaps they," he gestured around as if indicating the otherlings that often visited this realm, "had more to do with you being with us than either Hiram or myself would like to admit." He chuckled. "Regardless..."

He trailed off and rolled away to stare into the flame, his back to her now. "I'm glad you're here. We all are." He smirked, then added. "But none more so than I."

He watched the fire, the flames reaching out as if they were trying to touch anything they could. The warmth flushed over his face and he smiled. That was the truth of it. He was happy she was here. She made the house... More. He rolled back onto his back and stared at the ceiling, watching her striking blue gaze from the corner of his eyes. She was magnificent, and she was here because he'd done something he promised himself he wouldn't. He'd broken his own vow, for her. Even he had to question, what was she? To him most specifically...

Reaching his hand out, he found hers and gripped it. "Tell me what you saw before you died..."

Kina inhaled sharply. It was almost cute... the way she used her breath as a form of expression; still so connected to the way it was before. She squeezed his hand, rolling to stare up at the ceiling... mostly so she didn't have to watch him watch her as she spoke. This was going to be a much heavier conversation than she'd expected, but... it was necessary. And better to get it done and over with than drag it out over weeks or months... or centuries. She had those now. A small smirk tickled her lips at that thought. How odd was that? 

Her fingers traced ancient healing symbols along the back of his hand absentmindedly as she finally spoke, "So, feel like it's your fault. That's fine... just don't feel like it's awful. Don't feel like you've ruined my life. You gave me an opportunity... one that most people never have. And that... is a gift. So you gave me a mindblowing, inexplicable, kind, wonderful gift. THAT is your fault. And... when the thoughts do come... as a favour to me... I would ask that you endeavour to remember that." With a deep breath, continued, "As for the rest, I must admit, I had hoped... however foolishly... that you wouldn't ask." 

Chewing her bottom lip, she rolled to prop herself up on one elbow, running her fingers through his hair as her blue eyes searched his face. "There are somethings... ... you're not going to... ... you may not..." she struggled to even find a place to start. "I have a gift. That isn't fully mine yet. And... it feels like..." she didn't have words to describe it. So, instead, she layed her hand on his chest and closed her eyes softly. Gently this time... just a little. Her fingers still tracing those symbols lightly, she felt the pool of life pulsing just beneath his skin. She felt the rush of it through his veins, and she smiled. Dragging her fingers through it playfully, like water, she let a few stray drops stick to the tips of her fingers... tasting it, in a way... before shaking the 'water' from her hands and letting it rush back into him. Pressing her hand flat against him, she exhaled slowly, reaching into to the well of her own soul and manipulating the flow of her own energy so that a small trickle of a waterfall formed between them... just a little... like a leaky faucet.

Suddenly, he wasn't tired anymore... the years of lines falling from his face as he felt her magic wash over him. No wonder Sal had been so... enraptured. The fire was warmer, her touch keener, the very air around them like pop-rocks, the rug a tickling softness... everything more alive. Suddenly, she was even more special. 

Stopping the flow... without taking back her gift... Kina pulled her hand away, her expression seeming nervous in a way he couldn't quite place. Her fingers slowly found their way back into his hair as she absentmindedly teased his dark curls. "What did I see..." she mused to herself. "I remember seeing wisteria blossoms like rain. And my blood like ink in the moonlight. Stars. You... the fear and regret in your eyes. That was the worst. I swear, I wasn't dying until you looked at me like I was dying." She chuckled a little, petting his face. "After that it gets fuzzy. I remember the sky. And... figures... shadows at the edge of my vision. All around. Different shapes and sizes. Some tenin or yokai... some human... some I don't even have words for. And you... there with me... begging... negotiating. Most of them left... walked away... refusing or incapable. Others stayed simply to witness. Some to protect. But... they just watched," her nose wrinkled at the memory of it... so many souls simply watching her die. It was painful in ways she wasn't ready to process. "And then..." Kina's voice wavered, strangled by the weight of words she wasn't ready to speak and tears that she withheld. "And then he came, out of the night, through the spirits. And he held my hand, and pet my head. And he whispered to me... things I have no right knowing." She shook her head, the truth of her words shining through her beautiful blue eyes... familiar eyes. "He stayed with me... there in the in-between... all. night. And he helped me choose. He made sure that I truly wanted to live... with you... forever. And when he was sure... he gave me his gift." Pausing to breathe again, Kina stared into the fire for a long moment, Kina struggled to put words in order for a moment, "He gave me his gift because of the way you love me. He said: 'life without love isn't worth living and death without love is meaningless. I won't let Christian have both.' " 

Tears trickled down her cheeks, "So he gave me to you. To all three of you, yes... but to you. And he kissed my forehead as the moon set. And he told me that when I woke up, I would see the world with his eyes... and then I would understand. And I had to help you understand... that you're not alone anymore. That you never were. And... that... I love you. And... that you 'shouldn't be so hard on yourself'." 

She quoted Sully's familiar words with ease, not quite ready to utter the bare truth just yet... despite the BOMB she'd just dropped. That, in comparison to the truth of how she'd acquired her gift... seemed so small and insignificant in the dancing firelight. "It wasn't 'them'," she whispered, mimicking his grand gesture from earlier. "It was him, Christian. He gave me his gift because he still had it to give... because you released him. Don't you see? THAT'S the favour you called back. My life...My choice... for his. In the most perfect, beautiful, right way imaginable. That's how I know. That's how I know in my bones that you did what's right." 

Her gaze searched his face, trying desperately to read his characteristically stoic expression in the dim firelight. She was so scared. Scared that she would hurt him. Scared he wouldn't believe her. Scared he might even hate her... for what she was. But, of course, as with all things, Christian didn't react. Not at first. He needed time to mull and accept before giving it meaning with a reaction. And it was time that she was too vulnerable to give him. With a shuttering sigh, she rolled over; her back to him as she hugged herself tightly... praying that she had done the right thing by telling him... everything. 

Christian laid there, silent. She had met Sully and he'd given her his gift. There was a reason her eyes seemed so familiar. They were his... Christian felt as if he couldn't take a breath, like he was suffocating. Luckily that meant nothing but stress and anxiety. His gift, she'd used it on him and it made him -FEEL- everything... The fire, his own suffering, her warmth...and lack of. He felt the tears rolling down his cheeks. He felt the wind get knocked from him. Nothing was right, and yet -EVERYTHING- was perfect. They were whole again, even if it wasn't the way they'd expected. They had their brother, in a sense. At least they had his gift, his eyes, his spirit watching over them. And that, ultimately, was what would have floored Christian if he hadn't already been lying down.

It took everything he had to finally choke out the words that had been caught in his throat for what seemed like ever, even if it had only been a few short moments in the grand scheme of things...

"Thank you..."

He rolled in her direction, his arm sliding around Tsukina and tugging her close, against him. "Thank you..." he whispered again into her ear, this time the words flowing with ease. He swept her hair from her cheek and pressed his lips to it. Pulling back, the smile on his face was irrevocable. His brother had come in a time of need, when Christian was bartering for life... When he'd made himself the most vulnerable he'd ever been. Sullivan had watched over them. "Thank you..." he whispered one last time, directing it to his brother as he squeezed Tsukina tightly. "I'll take care of this gift forevermore." With those words, he buried his head into her black mane and closed his eyes. Not asleep, but relishing the moment with her... "He's right... I do love you."

"I know." The words came softly... so softly. 

Twisting, she faced him, her blue eyes... her blue eyes... smiling at him with a touch of sadness. She was so happy. But she was crying. Mixed tears of joy and sadness and love and confusion. A cluster fuck of emotion that Sal could feel softly strangle him from the other side of the manor. They had a business, a family. So many fates hinged on them far beyond just theirs. How did he do it? How did he carry all this all those years... alone? It was overwhelming and suffocating. And maybe that was why he never smiled. 

She didn't want to think about it... about any of it. They'd have infinity and beyond to think about it. Right now, she just wanted to be. But they both knew, ultimately, that wasn't an option. But... just for a moment. Just for the briefest flash of a single moment in the history of the universe. Holding her breath... she leaned in and kissed him. Softly at first... almost as if she didn't know how. It felt nervous and trepid... like crossing some unspoken taboo that they both desperately longed for. But the world didn't burn down when their lips touched. And he didn't pull away. And she didn't die. No... indeed it felt... wonderful. 

For one split second in their messy, chaotic lives... everything felt perfect. And she melted into his perfection. Like diving into the deepest crystal waters in existence. No need to come up for air. Just kissing him, she touched him in ways he'd never experienced... disappearing into the pool and pulse of life as it ebb and flowed between them... no distinction between where one ended and the other began. No wonder Sully had it so easy in love. But... everything has a time. And, she actually did need some semblance of rest after the last two days. They both did. So, after a few self-indulgent moments, Christian pulled away... gently caressing her face and petting her head much as Sully had during her last long night. 

"See," she whispered softly, "THis is why we have so much more to address." She shook her head with those sad, worried eyes. And he already knew all the reasons that her light dimmed. There was the business. The family. Hiram. Her whole new way of being. At the moment, it felt like there was an eternity of sorting to be done... and it made her feel very tired. "We'll have to tell them eventually, you know," she sighed. And he knew instinctively the layers of meaning that hid in the depths of those words. 

"Where do we even start?" Her blue eyes met his gaze, and she looked to him... as her love, as her mate, as her don... it was an exhilarating, heartwarming, heartwrenching mixture that thrilled him with the potential of eternity.    

Christian smirked... "We start with simple questions..."

He chuckled. "Do you love me? Do you love him? Hiram I mean... Do you love Salvatore? Are you prepared to give everything up for any one of us? How do you feel about Sam? Do you need your own maid or butler? How are you feeling? Are you hungry? Thirsty? What are you experiencing?"

The smile remaining, he took a deep breath and sighed.

"I'll speak with Hiram, unless you want to. Aside from that, everything else is easy. Even Hiram is easy. Besides, I'm sure Sal's already deduced what's going on."

Christian reached out and brushed her hair with his finger.

"But for now... You need rest, as do I." He nodded. "As do they. We've all had a long day, you and me especially. So let us find some amount of peace and regenerate what it is we've lost and used."

Christian stood and helped her to her feet before wrapping her in a tight hug, his head curled into the crook of her neck. He remained for a long while, just holding her, feeling the exchange of energy, feelings the emotions that attached themselves. Finally letting go, he nodded and took her hand to lead her to her room.

"Come. You should rest in your new bed..."

Kina nodded. "I... I think I would like to speak to him. ...with you at least. Take responsibility for my part in this. Give him the respect of talking to him personally. You know?"

Standing, she nestled into his hug and clung to the moment... as long as he would let her. "Yes," she answered bluntly, "I love you. And, yes. I love him... but... not like I love you." She blushed a little, hiding her face in the hug. "I'm not in love with him," she admiteed with a soft I-can't-believe-I-just-said-that kind of chuckle. "And the same for Sal. I love him. I'm endeared to him. He's precious to me. But no like you are." 

Giggling softly, she jabbed his ribs playfully, "And I've already died for you. Twice, technically. So... why even ask? Of course. I'd give everything I have. My soul, if you asked it. Silly man." Shaking her head she continued as he escorted her out of the study, "I like Sam. I think he's a good fit. He's good for this family. I've never had a maid. So I don't know. I suppose, ask Amelia. She oversees the workings of the house and does a damn fine job of it. I trust her judgement." 

They meandered down the hall, Kina taking a slow pace so that the room didn't spin as she moved, "I feel fine. Very tired. But fine. No I'm not hungry. Although water sounds delightful. I'd... like to rinse my mouth." The possible interpretation of her words making her freeze in her steps, "Not that... I didn't mean... I just..." she chuckled and blushed bashfully. "I haven't had time to brush my teeth yet," she admitted, suddenly wishing she'd held off on kissing him. "I'm... sorry... if that was... unpleasant." 

Shaking her head, she tried to hide her blush by continuing down the hall, "And... I'm experiencing lots of things. Right now... I feel giddy. But... I imagine that's mostly your fault. Tired. Raw. Everything is still... very intense. You know? And... I'm a bit nervous about where everything goes from here. But... that will subside. I know." 

As he led her into Sully's... her... room, Kina clutched at his hand, "Please don't go." There was a look of mild panic on her precious features. "I..." her eyes glistened with tears, "I'm afraid," she admitted. "I... I don't want to wake up and... you not be there... again. ...I'm afraid it'll all go away." 

It was silly, she knew. But the idea of laying down overwhelmed her with dread and panic. Her gulp was audible as she released the death grip on his arm and began to struggle her way out of the ridiculously complicated frock Hiram had put her in. "It's silly, I know. I just... just for tonight?" Her eyes pleaded with him as she slipped into a silken nightgown... it was a lie. They both knew it. If he stayed, it would be for far more than just this one night. But... was that necessarily a bad thing? He would have to choose. 

Christian paused as she grabbed his hand and he looked back. It was improper. None of it was right. Surely he wouldn't, couldn't... As she pleaded he stood there, stoic and rigid, until he pulled his hand away and walked for the door. She turned to look out of the window, nothing said as the door shut. He was certain she was saddened by the event, but as he turned and looked at her he locked the door behind him. The click of it tugging her gaze back to him.

"Just for tonight, yes?" He offered her a smile. "This will be the hardest night... Last time you closed your eyes you died. Tonight will be the fear of dying yet again."

He walked to her, slipping out of his suspender and untucking the black shirt he wore, unbuttoning it as he sat on the bed. "Get ready for bed. The hands should have brought your slips." He released the clips on his suspenders and tossed them to the chair in the corner, his shirt following. Shoes and socks followed that, then all that remained were his undershirt, underwear, and slacks. Those he seemed keen to keep on as he pulled himself back onto the bed and leaned against the wall, pillows behind him. His feet crossed at the ankle, and his arms crossed his chest as he waited, his head leaning back to rest softly against the wall.

"The quicker you make your way to bed, the quicker we can rest, my dear."

Christian reached over and tugged the comforters back so she could slide into the luscious, down blankets and soft mattress. However, his head lifted from the wall as he heard her step out from behind her changing screen...

She was stunning in her gown, her eyes making the white slip pop. The smile on his face spoke volumes, and all he could mouth was -wow-... He gave the bed a pat, then nodded to her. "Come, it's bed time."

As he pulled away, her heart sank. Of course he wouldn't stay. It was silly of her to ask. It was improper... it flew in the face of his upbringing. It was too much. It was okay. She could do this alone. Sure, she could do this alone. It wasn't that terrifying. She wasn't really afraid... right? She could do this. No big deal. It wasn't a big deal. None of it was a big deal. 

A million thoughts... all lies... raced through her mind as she tried to convince herself he wasn't breaking her heart by abandoning her in this moment of need. Setting her jaw, she stared out the window, silent... stoic... a trait she'd learned from him. But... hearing the lock click, she turned and nearly melted as she realized; relief thawing the ice of her eyes into misty meltwater. 

Nodding softly, she shimmied her way into a night slip as hurriedly as she could. And as she stepped from behind the changing screen in the corner, his expression brought a genuine smile to her lips... the first of the day.

Blushing from head to toe, she climbed quietly into the bed. The way she snuggled into him, head resting comfortably on his hip felt almost too familiar... like it was something she'd done a thousand times. She didn't wait for him to close his eyes. Didn't even ask or look at him funny. And he had to remind himself that she was probably used this... at least in some regards... from the long nights that Hiram spent watching over her when she was still alive. (Little did he know how few and far between those really were)

'When she was still alive'... That was an odd thought... one that he had to push from his mind. She was still alive... at least in some regards. And that was his fault, he reminded himself... just as she had asked. 

Hugging him close, Kina drifted off with surprising ease. And, to his amusement, she actually slept. Her breathing fell into a natural, shallow rhythm as she relaxed and drifted away. And for a while, she was perfectly peaceful. But, each time the rhythm stopped... each time her mind relaxed enough to fall into full repose, the unnatural shock of it startled her awake once more. 

Perhaps she shouldn't have asked him to stay. Perhaps he shouldn't have agreed. He wouldn't get nearly the same rest this way. What with her gasping awake every hour or so. But... each time he was there. And each time it made things a little easier for her. But, also, each time it endeared her to him a little bit more... as if that were even possible.

Surprisingly, she never screamed... as he thought she might. She simply gasped and stirred... somehow oddly graceful, even in her terror.